Panic attack part 17

Jack and Kristen had become closer and closer over time.  Despite a difficult beginning, things were definently changing for them. They were developing a close bond. 

Jack was a frequent guests at her house and she waa a frequent guest at his. Her mom suported the relarionship but found it out to see her grow up.  She had trouble with her spending more and more time with him. He was becoming her suport system.  

Jack and her mom had talked things out. Things had inporoved with them.diane was slowly becoming more supportive of the relationship. 

Kristin was growing closer to his parents as well. Diane and the family were becoming more a part of the church as well. 

They had been together for two mounths now.  There relationship seemed to be in a very good place. Both were happy and content. 

Kristin had a doctors appointment a few days after there two mounth aniversry. It was prety routine .she had goten used to these. She was not expecting anything earth shatering to occur but perhaps she should have..

She had her useal physical. The dr had some reedings takon.the doctor then came out. “Kristin, i need to perscribe some new medications.  “The doctor said. “Ok” she said. 

“With these medication,you wont be able to drive.  I am aftaid i will need to take your lisence.” he said. “Is this medication necessary?” she asked. “I really do kristin.i know this is not what you want to hear. ” the doctor said. “No it is really not.  ” she said. 

She took a few minutes. She called jack. “Hi hunnie! ” he said.”jack they pulled ny lisence!” she said. “What happened? ” he asked.  “I have been prescribed mrdication that inpairs the ability to drive. My wings have been clipped. ” she said.

“I am so sorry. ” he said. ” look. Can you get one of your sisters ot brothers to drive you hear and drive my car home. If you cant its ok. I can call my mom.” kristin said.

“No i will be right there. Just give me a few minutes and i will be right there. ” he said. “Thank you so much..”kristin said. “Look we will get though this together ok?” he remarked. “Ok” she said. 

He got his sister to drive with him.he went to the doctors office.  She waited for him. He ran to her. She grabed on to him. He held her for a few minutes. She started to cry. 

“I know it does not feel it but it will be ok. ” he said. “I know it will. It just does not feel that way right now. I just feel lost. things were finaly starting to look up.” she said. 

he drove her home. “Look can we hanng out or something. I need a distraction?” she asked.  “Yea i need to drive marissa home. ” he said. “I will tell my mom.” she said.

She went to her mom. “Jack and i are going to go out for a bit.i need to get away and clear my head. ” Kristin said. “Are you ok kris?” diane asked. “No but i am  ok enough. ” she told him. ” she said.

Diane hugged her. “I worry about you kriss. ” her mom told her. “I know you do. I am hurt and heartbroken. .i know i can get though it. ” she said. “Ok. Have a good job with jack.”she said.”thanks. ” she said.kristin hugged her mom.

Kristin, jack and marissa went to there house in jack’s car. They droppes marisa off. “Where do you go when your sad and want to cheer up? “She asked.

“I know just the place!” he said in a glee full tone. “I am a little concerned. Should i be? “Kristin asked. “Mayby a little. ” he said.

They pulled up to a burger soveregn. ” burger sovereng really?” she said. “This is how i destresify. They have amazing shakes” he told her. “I could like a milk shake. You know my mom baned us from going to fast food.” she said. 

“Oh no! Will taking you hear put me in the dog house with your mom?” he asked.  “It might. Why not. I always like to do things i have never done before. They make good milk shakes?” she asked. “They are great. I promise. ” he said. 

He parked.  They got out. They held hands. “Can you get me the bigest milk shake they have.i might let you have some. ” she said. 

“Ok. ” he said. “I feel weird being hear. Its is like being in a bar. ” she said. “Your comparing burger sovereign to a bar? ” he asked.  ” it was the most apt comparison i could think off. ” kristin said.

He ordered a burger and fries. She just wanted a milk shake and got some chicken nugets. They sat down at the table. 

“Thank you for this! “Kristin said. “No problem.  ” he said.”wow. This is great! ” she said. “I told you!” he said. She laughed. 

“I could not wait to drive. The minute i turned 16, i begged my dad to teach me to drive.  He was so patcient with me. I was so excited when i got my license.  When i woke up from the coma it took me a while to get it back.my mom was skidish about me driving but i loved just driving. That was when i discovered the spot. I felt so free. I could forget about everything that was going on. Now i gues i wont be able to. ” she said. 

“Well i enjoy driving.  Give me a call and we can take a drive. I know that it wont be the same but i am sure it can help. ” he said. “It wont be the same but it will be fine. ” she said.

“Was your mom ok with you going with me?” he asked. “Yes she was. She wants me to come to her with stuff. I know she cares about her. She worriers about me. I want to be sad. I want to deal with it. I want you to be with you. Your good madicine jack. “She said.

“I am glad.  I dont always have the answers. Sometimes all i can do is listen, give you a big hug and be there. ” he said. “I am ok with that. I dont need you to solve my problems. I just need to know you care. I know you do. I dont doubt that.  ” she said. 

“Are you ok krissy?” he asked. “No but yes. I know it will get easier in time. I know it is not the end of time. It is hard but i will be alright. ” she said.

“How is your shake?” he asked. “Amazing. I cant believe i have never had it before. I cant believe what i have been missing. ” she said. 

After a while they decided to leave. They walked out hand in hand. “Thank you for tonight.  Just having you hear makes it easier. I feel like i am stuck.  I just cant get pass that night.  I can never fully move on. I get so close but then i am pulled back in.” she said 

He hugged her. She cried on his shoulders.  He squezed her tightly. She held on to him. “Its ok. I got you! I am not going to leave you krissy! I love you. ” he said.

“I love you jack! You always going to be there for me? ” she asked. “As long as i have breath, definently. ” he said. She smiled. 

“I am not letting you get away. Not without a fight. ” she said. “I have no intention of leaving. That day is not going to define you. It has a lasting legacy for sure. It is not your end. It bateted you but it not destroy you. Your are blodied but stronger. ” he said. She held on him for a bit.

They got in the car. They went to there spot in the woods. They stood for a bit. ” i love this spot! We are going to show our kids this spot?” she remarked. “Absolutely.  ” he said.

“I hope they love it like we do. ” she said. “I think they will. ” he said. ” i needed to just cry things out. ” she said. “Thats fine. You dont have to be strong in front of me.  Be yoursf. Cry if you need to. Im hear for you always. ” he said.

“I dont doubt that. ” she said. He held on to her. They drove back to her house. “I had a good night despite the day. You do good cheering me up. ” she told her. “I am glad . i want to do for you. ” he said. 

“I know you will. You did really good tonight.Thank you. ” she said. He hugged her. He escorted her to the door.

She went to see her mom. “Mom. I love jack.  He is such a sweet and gentlemen.  He has been great. I will not need you mom. I know you worry about me. I will be ok. Its hard but i can make it. ” she said. 

“I do wory about you. You may habe been a dadys girl but you are still my dsughter. I will never get over how close i lost you. ” diane said. Kristin started crying.

“It is hard to see you grownup. It is hard to see you getting ready to move on. I know some day sooner then i want you will be leaving me and cleving to jack.  Your handiling this different tonight. ” diane said. 

“Mom i do stil need you. That wont change. ” she said.” i will ne there for you whenever you need me. I promise. ” diane said. They hugged.

End of part 17.

Next up.

Kristin adjust to life without driving. Diane wories she is sliping in depression while jack plans a big day for her. 
 

Weding party part ten

Sometimes,  a single moment can change everything. That was true for matt. Matt and amber had known eachother for a few years.  She was his sisters best friend. They went from aqaintence to friend to close friends.  Now as they prepare for his sister’s wedding, things seemed to be heeding in a romantic direction for matt and amber.  

He told her his fears. After the rehearsal,  amber asked him to marry her. He considered her request. He went home and prayed about it. He prayed and prayed.  He read some scripture. He went though the concordance.  He read several verses. The verses about leaving his mother and farther and cleving unto his wife kept coming up. As he read it,he thought about amber. 

He prayed a lite more. He commited to the lord and to amber. He dedicated them as a couple to the lord. He had a peace about him. He went to bed fairly at peace.  

That moring he woke up and got dressed. He went to the jewery store. He looked around. He looked at several.  He found the one he liked. He stared at it. He paid for it then he left. 

He took it out and looked at it . he cried for a bit. He had so manny emotions. They all flooded into him. 

He went home and got ready. He showered and got dressed.  He put on his tuxedo.  He styled his hair. He got ready to go. He drove to the church. He was nervous but excited at the same time. 

Amber had thought about talking to him on friday. Now she wished that she had not. He did not react the way she thought he would . mayby she made the wrong decision. She had no idea. She knew that this was one of the happiest day of her life. She wanted to do this for her. 

Mayby she pushed him too far. Mayby she jumped the gun. She tried not to be anything but happy in front of her best friend. This was her day and she refused to ruin it for her. 

“Ready ?” amber asked. “Absolutely! ” tracy said. ” i am so happy for you trace. “Amber said. “Thanks.  Amber thank you so much. You are a great friend. I realy apreciate all you have done. ” tracy said.

Amber hugged her friend. ” i was glad to do it. Thank you for letting me be a part of this.” amber said.”you will pick me to be your maid of hornor right?” tracy asked. “Assuming that i am not a spinster all my life, you got it. ” she said. “You wont. I am prety sure of that. “Tracy said. 

She was not so sure. Now was not the time to discuss her concerns to tracy. She wanted her to enjoy her special day.  That was importent to her. Whatever else happened, she would deal with that later. 

They got ready to leave for the church. They got dressed and ready for the wedding. Tracy and her mom had a moment. She hugged her mom.”your father would be so proud of you. I am so proud of you. “She said. ” i love you mom. ” tracy said. They bith cried.  

Matt came in.  Matt hugged tracy. “You drove me uterly nuts some times. I love you trace. I am so proud of you. I cant express how much.” he said. “I know.  I hope i did not anoy you too much! I love you. ” tracy said. 

They started to walk out. “Oh amber.” he said. “Yea!” she said.  He took her hand. As he talked he slipped the engagement ring on her finger. ” about what we talled about, the answer is yes. ” he said. 

She hugged matt. She held on to him for a seccond. ” whats going on ?” tracy asked. “Matt and i just got engaged! ” amber said. Tracy and amber hugged. “Congratulations! ” tracy said. 

They all headed for the corridor to the sanctuary.  They got the signal. They started to walk to the front of the church. 

“We are hear in the sight of the lord and those hear to join these two in holly matrimony. Steven rayman and tracy lynn feel caled to enter into holly matrimony after much prayer.who gives her away?” the aficiator asked. ” i do. ” matt said. 

Matt then steped back as is tradition.  He took her hand. ” do you steven take tracy do be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, richer or for porer, as long as you both shal live” he asked. ” i do. ” he said. 

Tracy was asked a similar question and answered in the affirmative.  They exchanged rings. The man that officiate the wedding declared that they were now mr and mr. Steven brey. They had there first kiss. There was thunderous applause.  

Tracy and steven and the wedding party had there pictures taken. There were group pictures taken. Thete were some of the bride and groom. There was the whole weding party. There was Stevens family. There was tracys family. Then amber incisted one of amber and matt. It was there first picture as an engaged couple. 

He put his arm around her. Amber was Stil in shock. She realy thought that he was going to say no. He did not. 

Amber had eaten for a bit. Matt came around to her. “Amb can i steal you for a minute? I want to tell mom our news.  ” he said. She smiled. “Sounds good.  ” he said. He took her hand and they headed to where his mom was. 

“Mom hi. ” matt said.”hi matt. Hi amber. “His mom said. “Mom , amber and i are engaged. ” Matt said. His mom smilled. ” congratulations!  I kind of wondered if something like that was the case. Its funy your dad and i use to joke about You two. He was prety sure that might happen. ” she said. 

She hugged amber.  ” welcome to the family amber! ” she said. Amber was so happy. 

After a while, tracy and steven headed out. The guests saw them off. Matt went over to amber. She hugged her. ” hello fiancée.  ” amber said.  “Hi hunnie. ” he said. 

“You know, i realy thought you were going to say no. ” amber said “why did you think that?” he asked. “I am a cooky penticostal. I am not really qiet or demure.  You might have been offended that i asked you. ” she said. 

“No i was not. No i wanted to say yes last night. I needed to think about it. I needed to make sure i had the lord’s approval.  I really wanted to say yes. I am sory if i gave you an otherwise impresson. ” he said. 

“Thats ok.i love the ring by the way. I cant stop staring at it. ” she said. ” it looks really good on you. Amber i cant wait for you for you to be my wife.”he said. 

“I cant wait for you to be my husband.  You are going to be a great one. ” she said.  “You have always been there for  me. I have always been able to count on you. I could not have made it though my dad’s death without you. You fulfill the qualifications for a help meet and then some. ” he said.

“You have been there for me. I have liked you for a while. I was not quite sure if you felt how i did. “She said. “I have liked you for a while. I was not sure how to tell you. I was afraid mayby you saw me more like a sister. I am so happy. ” she said. 

“I am too. I cant believe it. “He said. “So i am thinking that i will try to be moved back hear by the fall. No later sense steptember. I do want to have my position filled before i leave. It will take some doing but i want to get back up hear as soon as i can. ” she told him.

“You think you will be able to be up by the fall? ” he asked. “Lord wiling, it will work.  Good news is that i am not flying out until monday morning.  Your stuck with me til then. “She said.

“Sounds good. ” he said. She hugged her. He put his arm around her. Both were verry happy. They both were happy. 

They helped to take some stuff down. They got the felowship hall looking like it usually did. They then left. 

Matt and amber went back to his mom’s house.  They knew that they only had a day anda few hours before she flew back to the west coast.  They will make the most of it. 

End of part ten. 

Next up. 

Matt and amber spend time together before she has to go back. 

Wedding party part 9

Previously on wedding party. 

Tracy and steve are getting maried. This meens hard work and preperation. Her father died a little while back.  It has put a damper somewhat on an otherwise happy event. 

The two people that have been instrumental in this is her big brother matt and her best friend amber. They had both been proven to be inseparable.  

Matt and amber started off not liking each other. They finaly made peace. They became friends. Now they were starting to consider mayby a more permanent arangement. 

One day before wedding. 

Amber woke up fairly early. She thought about him. She was not sure what to do. Should she talk to him? Should she try to create a more permanent relationship? She had no idea. 

She realy liked matt. She did not realize how much. She had thought about a relationship with him. It was never that serious until now. She realy liked the idea. She could not beleve it. 

She laid in bed for a while. Then she decided to get out of bed. She knew she was beyond the point of getting back to sleep. It was close to the time she wanted to get up anyways. 

She went downstairs. She made cofee. After a few minutes,  amber came downstairs.  “One nore day trace!” amber told her. “I know!  I am so psyched.  I can’t believe that it is almost hear. ” tracy said. 

“I am so happy for you trace. Steve is a great guy. You too will have a good life together. “She told Tracy.  Tracy smiled. “I think so too. It realy is all comming together nucely. I am really impressed.  ” Tracy said. Amber said. 

Matt woke up. He felt like there was a million things he had to do. He hoped that it would all come together. He dragged himself out of bed. He got into the shower.

He got dressed and hot ready to go to his mom’s house. He kept thinking about his conversation with amber. He thought about what she said.

Was she talking about her?Was she suggesting they get married? Was this a joke. Amber did like to joke around?  She could have been just fooling around?  It might not be what he thought?  He might be reeding too much into it.

Perhaps the week was getting to him. He was tired,everyone was. He migjt be have gotten caught up in everything. He did like the idea of them being maried.

He let his mind waunder a bit. He imagined he and her maried. He imagined maried life would not be that different from what there relationship was like now. They would talk,share, joke around, tease. They realky knew eachother. They knew how eachother ticked. They understood eachother in a way no one else did. 

He stoped himself.  He ended that train of thought.  He decided that this was fatigue talking. Everything was getting to him. If he waited ot out,this melancholy he was feeling would pass. He just had to tough it out.  

That image of the little boy playing into he dirt. A little baby girl in his wife’s arms. He working on a surmon bit stoping and looking up at his wife.  Her wearing a t shirt of a Christian rock band and denim skirt. It was quite an image. It felt right.

He never really consider that amber could be a petsprctive wife for him.she had been hear all this time and he just did not see it. She had nfer let him done.she had always been there for him.  She gave never asking for anything in return.  It had been so obvious to everyone but him. 

He tried to focus. There was still much to do. Right now he would focus on business. Later well that was later. 

He got into his car and drove to his mom’s house. It was a short drive. The car arived. He parked the car. He turned off the car. He walked inside. 

“Good morning!” he said. They all said hello. He hughed his mom. He hugged tracy. When he came over to amber. He hugged her. She held on to him. 
Soon steve came over. They had beakfast then got ready to go to the church.  The cars parked at the church parking lot. They all got out. 

He went up to the church. She went over to tracy. “Hey trace. Things have been prety hetic. I just wanted you to know that i am so proud of you. I am so thankfull to the lord for who you have become. I know dad would be so happy for you.  ” he said.

She hughed her. “Your a great big brother.  ” she told him. “Thanks. ” he said. 

When everyone arrived,  tracy called a meeting.  There was the immediate family and church memebers who were going to help. 

“Ok. This is going to be a hetic day. We need to be working hear and at the house. Some of you will be doing a lot of runing around.  We need to be totally done by 3:00. The rehearsal dinner is at five sharp. Of course pastor ramsey will be there at four thirty. Mom has requesed we be done at three, no latter. ” tracy said. 

“We are going to be going at full hilt bit we can do this! Things are really shaping up. It loos great! ” matt said. 

“It really does. Thank you all for your help. It has been great.  Lets get it done!” tracy said. Everyone agreed .  They got to work. 

Tracy got everyone readyby giving direction.  She got a plan for finishing touches on the dining hall. Then she put the finising touches on the sanctuary and hall way. She got  everyone to come up with a plan to get the church ready in the allotted time. 

Then she went to her mom’s house to get the house ready for the rehersal dinner. She did a lot of ruining around. She got a lot done at the house then went back to the church.

Matt saw tracy. “Trace! What do you think about me and amber?” he asked.she smilled. “What do you think about you two?” tracy asked. ” its weird. I did not like her ar first. Slowly we became non combative then acquaintance then friends and now good friends. I feel like things are different between us. I like her. I like her alot!” he told her. 

“You two have something special. You have for a while. There is a special bound between you two.” she said. 

“Is it ok if we do get together? ” he asked. She chuckled. “You definently have my permission.  “She said. “Thanks sis. ” he said. 

“You two make a realy cute couple.  ” tracy said.  “I still cant believe i am even considering this.  We are so different.  We think diferently. It is not just doctrine,  theology, music, bible versions, seperation. There is so much more differences. ” he said 

“You two mesh well. You will figure this out. I know you two will. ” she said. He smiled. He knew that she was right.  

The house was set up for the rehersal dinner. The church and felowship hall was coming along well also. They worked til noon. They had sandwitches and then got back to work. 

They got the big stuff done then worked on the nit picky stuff. Then they did last minute vacuuming and everything else done. Tracy and her mom and amber did a tour of the building. 

Everything checked out.  They assembled near the building.  She thanked everyone for there hard work. She gathered the wedding party together.  

“Ok. Everyone needs to be at the house by 4:30. Not 4:31 , 4:30. Pastor ramsey will be there at around four thirty. ” Tracy’s mom said.  

Everyone dispersed.  Matt went to his place. He showered and got dressed. He put on a black sports coat,blue tie and black pants and a white shirt. He combed his hair. He was not a fashonista by any meens. He tried to look presentable.  He was an ordained pastor and tomorrow he was the “farther of the bride. ” he wanted to be well dressed. 

He felt he was ready.  He headed out. He was nervous. He had no idea why.perhaps because pastor ramsey was going to be there. The pastor was a kind of elder satesman within the independent fundimental baptist movement. He had pastored several churches. He was a widower. At seventy four he was stil in relitivly good heath. Though he was not pastoring a church,he kept busy with pulpit suply, confrences and retreets,writing books and his own you tube chanel. He was taking a cooking class at a local college  . he had grand children and great grandchildren.  

He was a friendly man.  He was a bit imposing.  Matt known him sense he was little. Matt always felt a little intimidated by him. 

He pulled up in the driveway. He walked inside. He saw amber. Amber was wearing a pink blouse and gray skirt and sandles. She had braded her hair and had a poney tail. 

He said hello to everyone .”you look really nice tonight. ” he said. “You cleaned up really well yourself.  ” she said.  He laughed. 

The pastor arived. They chatted then went to yhe dining room. Tracy agreed to let matt and amber sit together providing they be on there best behavor. They agreed. “When are we not on out best behavor? ” matt asked. “Im just making sure” tracy said.  

They all sat down.  The family matriarch asked pastor ramsey to give the blesing.  He prayed. 

“So Matthew.  How are things going at g.b.c?” pastor ramsey asked. “Very well. We have several new families and some new singles. We have had some new converts. Things are hapening. ” matt said.

“I have heard good things about the church. I was pleased that you accepted the pastorate. ” the elderly pastor said. 

“It was a really hard decision. I had wanted to be a youth pastor. My dad wanted me to be a senior pastor. I was reluctent to do that. I was shocked when the deacons approached me . my first instinct was to decline.  The holy sprit did not give me any peave until i agreed. I thank the lord that he did keep prodding. ” matt said.

“Your farther and i talked about you. He thought you had the gifting and narural abiluties needed to be a senior pastor.  He felt you would decide to persue a pastorate. ” pastor ramsey said. “I am not surprised. ” he said.

“So who will be next to get maried?” ramsey asked. ” i am hoping it will me.” there 16 year old brother Philip said.  Merissa a 14 year old suggested her. 

“Any prospects Matthew? ” the pastor asked. “Perhaps! ” he said nervously. The family laughed. He had no idea how to answer that one. Mercifully they moved on to another topic. 

Im addition to matt and his family, there were several guests. Steve and his parents.  Steve’s best man was a friend from bible college. His two groomsman were friends from childhood. Tracy bridesmade were her two sisters who next in age. Gracie the three year old was the flower girl. 

After the dinner they went to the church for the rehearsal. The rehersal went well. Then the pastor prayed. 

Amber went over to matt. She whispered in his ear. “Mary me!” amber said. “What? ” he asked. “Mary me!” she said.pastor ramsey dismised the meeting. 

They dispersed. Matt waited until they were outside.  “Amber wait up! ” matt said. She stopped. ” hi matt!” she said. “Did you meen what you said or was this amber humor?” he asked.  “I have never been this serious in my life.  You and i have been dancing over this issue foever.  We both can think of a thousand reasons we shouldint. I can think of only one why we should. I love you. I know you love me.  ” she said.

“I am not saying no. I need time to pray about it. ” he said.” yea i figured.  I dont need an answer today or tomorrow.  Give it some thought. Get back to me when you can. “She said. 

“I will give it some thought. I will pray about it. I will get back to you. ” he said. “Ok. ” she said.  

He wanted to dot his eyes and cross his t’s. He believed that you should never make a decision until you have clear direction from the lord. He wanted to stop and reflect.  He was pretty sure that he knew the answer.  He was fairly certain he would say yes. 

End of part 9

End of sorrow part 12

Previously on end of sorrow. 

Abby and Andrew have had a long dificult road. Andrew lost his fiancée a few years back. Abby reached out to him. The two became friends. They eventualy decided to date. It has been a dificult courtship.  

Andrew has never been able to let go of leah. Abby has tried to be patient. It would not be easy. 

Andrew had gone to see Leah’s parrents. He did not ask for permision but did imply it. He did not tell abby. Abby found out after the fact.  It caused some conflict. 

Abby wanted some time to herself. She put on k kove. She sat on the couch thinking for a while.  She was so confused. She really did care about him. She was just weary by the whole thing. 

She wished that he would fully embrace her. He wished he would just leave leane behind. It was time to mobe pass her. He couldn’t.  He would not. He was stuck and so was she. 

He went home feeling weary himself.he regreted what hapened. He ment no ofense. Mayby he had given too much thought to how clark and jacky thought and not enough of what she thought. He did not want to hurt her. He seemed to keep messing up when he came to her. He just could not seem to get it right.

It was gawing at him..intellectually he loved her more then he could describe. He had a terrible time showing it. He knew that.  He was messing up royalty. He could not seem to turn it around.  

He was faling in love with abby. She could not see it. She was right. He was not  being fair to her. He knew that. He knew it he kept things up at the rate he was going, he was about to loose her. He did not want that.  He did care about her. He did want to spend the rest of his life with her. Would he be able to get her to trust him in time? Right now it was not looking good. 

He had trouble getting to sleep that night. He got the feeling he had lost her and just did not know it. Either that or was unwiling to accept it. He finaly did get to sleep.

She cried herself to sleep that night. Why did she have to fall asleep with basically a widower.  If only she had not approached him. She had to be bubly abby. She had to be the friendly neighbor. It hot her hear. In love with someone who could not or would not commit to her.  

He had work quite early that day. He had cofee then headed off. He did not see her before he before he left. That was somewhat intentional. He wanted to give her her space.  

She was glad that he did not contact her. She wanted her space.  Not foever but for a little bit. She did like him. She wanted to be with him but she wanted some time apart. Not alot but a little. 

She showered.  She got ready for her day. There was a knock at her door. She opened it. To her suprise,it was pastor jeff ball and his wife wendy. 

“Hi. Come on in. ” abby said..they went to the couch. They sat down. He vot cofee for them. “We wanted to say hello.we  know your primary church is the penticostal church. You have been comming regularly  on wendsday and sunday night.  We wanted you to know that you are an importent part of the church. I dont want to step on the toes of the leadership at faith penticostal assambly but if you need anything from me or my wife please get in touch with us.”the pastor said.

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. That meens so very much. Everyone at the church has been great. ” she said.

“We are glad to hear that. “Wendy ball said. “Everyone is really glad you have been comming. ” the pastor said. “I have really enjoyed it. It is different from what i am used to but i do like it.” abby said. “Oh good. ” pastor ball said. 

“As i said, we are very glad that you are hear. “He said. “I am glad of that. “She said. “We are really pleased that you and andrew are together. You make a cute couple. “Wendy said.

She smiled. “I think so too. I really like him.”she told them. “We can tell. “The pastor said. “It is nice to see him smiling again. He is slowly beccoming himself again. “Wendy said. 

“I have noticed he is comming out of his shell. I did not know the old him but i have seen a difference. “She said.

“When i took over as pastor, he was a teeneger. We see saw him grow up. He was on the pastoral tract and after leane died,he shut down..he withdrew.  Now he is comming back. “Jeff said. “I can see that. I am glad of that. “Abby said. 

“The lord has always had his hold on his life. I beleved that the lord had a plan for him. It was too bad that he sat on the sidelines as long as he did. He does seem to be back. You might know that i might have to take a few mounths off. He might take over for me for a while. ” pastor ball said.

“He mentoned that. ” she said. “I hope he does go into the pastorate. I am doing all i can to encourage that. ” the pastor said. “As am i.” she said. 

“So. Do you think that you two might consider marriage in the furure?” wendy ball asked. “We have not seriously talked about it yet. We have discused it in general terms. I am definently supportive of that.  I would like to see us get maried one day. “She told them. 

“We would like to see that as well. ” pastor ball said. She smiled. Abby found everyone at the church to be very friendly. She and wendy ball would become very close. She made several connections with ladies at gospel Baptist church.  Wendy was one of her closest friendships. 

She had a good visit with the balls.she liked both the pastor and his wife. She was really glad that they came by.she was glad to visit them without andrew. She was glad to have some one on one time with them. 

She knew that she was becoming intertwined with andrew. She wanted that. She was having doubts.  She did not know how to handle it. 

She could not totaly blame andrew. Losing a loved one was devisating. He behaved like most would.  It was time to move on. She was growing weary. She was not sure that she could stick with this. She did want to. 

He got home from work in late afternoon. Her car was gone. He assumed she was at the flower shop. He was not sure what her schedule was for the day.  

He went inside. He was glad to be home. He had dinner. He had a good day at work but was glad to be home.he decided to go to the room he used as an office. He looked though some old surmons. He wanted to get some ideas. He was not one to repeat old surmons. He was hoping to het his juices flowing. 

He saw a surmon he never preached. He was suposed to preach the sunday morning that ended up being two days after leane died. Pastor ball ended up preaching that sunday instead. He was suposed to cabidate for a pastorate two sundays later. He cancelled that service and witndrew from consdieration. He had foregottem all of that.  He started having a panic attack.  So he put the message back in the file cabinent and closed the lid. 

He saw abby pul in. He ran outside. He hugged her. She saw him shaking. She grabbed on to him. 

They went over to the porch. They sat down on a swing on the porch. “I was looking at old surmons.  Trying to get some inspiration. I forgot that the sunday after ,well you know, i was suposed to preach. I could not do it. I had totaly forgotten about that. I found the surmon i was going to preach. It brought everything back. There is more.  I was suposed to canidate at a church two weeks after. I withdrew from consideration.  I shut down abb. I did use my greef as a cruch. I was in a funk.  I did not realize. ” he said. 

She put her arm around him. She rubbed his back. “Its going to be ok. You will get though this. ” she said. “I know.  It all hit me. ” he said. “It was bound to. ” she said. 

“I am ok now. It just really got to me.”he said.”its understandable babe. I love you so much. I am hear for her. I am not going anywhere i promise. “She said. 

Pastor ball decided to go with his wife to care for his mother in  Law. It was decided that he would leave in three weeks. That would give him time to prepare.

 “Look abby. I am very sory about not putting you first. I have alotof work to do.”he admitted.  “I forgive you. Thank you for comming to me the other day. I want to be there for you.  While your subing for.pastor ball. I am hear for you. I will pray for you not in tounges! Whatever you need ak. If yoi dont i will kick your but” she said.They laughed.he said ok. 

End of part 12.

Next up

Andrew geta ready to aub for pastor ball..andrew and abby grow closer together.  

End of sorrow part 11

Andrew had been a bible colege student. He was preparing for full time ministry.  That was before his fiancée died. He zoned out for a while. He was withdrawn. He was distent. Many made excuses for him.

Then he met abby. She was bubly. She was outgoing. She would say what was on her mind. She was willing to push him. There were no sacred cows with her. She let him know what was on her mind. 

He was reluctant to date her at first. After a while,he aceepted her. He started to let her in more and more. 

He was starting to consider comming back to the ministry. Now an opportunity to get back to ministry might be presenting itself. Things seemed to going on the right tract. 

After the sunday night service,they went out for cofee. “So. The pastor aproched me today. His farther in law is going to have surgery.  Mrs. Bail is going to care for him. He is considering going with her. He does not want to be seperated from her for that long. He might go with her. He is considering having me take over while he is gone. He is deeply divided over what to do. He seems to be leening towards going. He is devoted to the church and family. I have no idea what he will decide. ” he said.

“It is a tough decison. If he decides to go,are you ready to sub for him?” she asked. “No! Not at all. I believe the lord will give me the strength and wisdom to do the job. Despite penticostal propaganda ,we baptist do believe in the power of the holy sprit. “He said. She laughed.

“I am sad by the reason but i am pleased by the prospect of you being able to get your feet wet. This is a really good opportunity. ” she said.”i feel the same way. It meens a lot that he trusts me.  It seems the deacons like the idea. We will see. ” he said. 

“I imagine you have a flood of surmon ideas?” she asked. “I do! I am not woried about not having anything to preach about. ” he told her. “I did not think you would. ” she said. 

“I will be buisy but thats ok. ” he said.”it is a good buisy. ” she said. “Definitely.  ” he said. “If he decides not to leave for a while you can stil get work towards going into full time ministry. This is an open door. The time is now regardless. You have the suport of paster bail and the deacons. Either way time for complacentcy is over. ” she said.

“I agree. ” he said. “Good!  Because i will keep harping on you. I am not letting you off the hook. ” she said. “I know. I am ready to get back into things. ” he said. “Good. I’m glad. I am realy happy that your getting ready to persue full time ministry.  I really am. ” she said. 

“You are out of your funk?” she asked.”not totaly but i am getting there. I did use my greef as a crutch. I wallowed for far too long. I am sory i did not see it myself. I regret letting it go on for this long. ” he told her. 

“Its my job to kick in the but if you get too complacent. Its your job to admonish me if i get complacent.  We build each other up. I am sure some day it will happen. I am sure you will do the same for me. I see us as a team. Some times we will both be where we should be and we will help keep each other on track. ” she said.  “Ok.” he said. 

They drove home. They got out. He hugged her. They said good night and went insude there homes. 

They continued to attend each orthers church. They got more and more involved in each others lives and worlds.  There are always conflicts in any relationship. It seemed to be the inevtible. That was the case with them. 

It was a Sunday night service. She went into the bathroom. She was washing her hands when she saw jacky.

“Hi abby. ” jacky said. “Hi jacky. “Abby said. “I am realy glad you have been coming hear. Your realy becoming a part of our church.” she said. ” thank you. I realy appreciate that. ” abby told her. “It is nice to see him happy again. His spark is back. ” she said. 

“It must be hard to see him with someone else that is not your daughter. ” abby said. “It is not easy. It is time for him to move on. We see that. You have our suport. Both clark and i feel that way. ” jacky told her. “Thank you. ” abby said. 

“We are fully suportive of you two. We appreciated that andrew went to see clark.  We dont object. He did not need our permison. We were pleased that he told us.  “She said. 

Abby had no idea that he had talked to them about there relationship. “The last thing andrew wanted was to cause you any more pain.  He knows this is difficult. ” abby said. “Yes. It will be regaress. Both clark and i are suportive of you and andrew. Lee would want him to be happy. She would not have wanted to see him as he was. ” jacky said.  

“I am glad to see him slowly coming out of the rut he was in. ” abby said. “So am i. I realy like you. I am glad that you are in his life. ” she said. They left the bathroom. 

She wanted to run away. Of course she came in his car. She went back to the sancuatury. She was upset but tried to hide it. This was not the time or the place.  She waited. 

They went to the car after the service. “Want to go out for cofee?” he asked.”not tonight.  I am eiger to getting home. I am tired. ” she said. “You ok hun?” he asked. ” im fine!” she said.

The drive home was unrealistically qiet. He parked the car. They got out. “Why did you ask Clark’s permison to date me?” she asked.  “I did not ask him permison.  I mearly told him that we were an item. He had seen us at the church picnic. He and jacky were bound to see us . it is a small church. It was a curtisy. I wanted to make sure they were ok with it. I did not want to flaunt it. ” he said. 

“So you never ask his permison?”abby asked. “No i did not. I just wanted there to be no resentment of there part. ” he said.”do you think they may have interpreted it as asking of permission? ” she asked.

“They might have i supose. I did not intend it that way. ” he told her. “If they had had a problem with it, would you have stoped seing me?” she asked. “I did not think about it. I did not forese that hapening. I assumed that they saw that enough time had passed. I did not consider the posibility that they would have objections. ” he told her.

“Lets say they did object. What would you do?” she asked.  “I dont know. ” he said. “Not the right answer andy! ” she said. “Your mad at me about this?”he asked. “A little bit. ” she said.”why? I did not want to upset them. They have been though a lot. “He said. “Me being upset is ok?” she said. “No of course not. ” he said. “You did not even think about me. You were never maried to leane. Death do us part does not aply. If it did death did you part. Its time to move on. You had no obligation to see them. Your doing nothing wrong.  I am not suggesting we make out in front of them but us living our lives, doing what we normally do. I dont see a problem. I do see you being wiling to be held hostege to people who were never your inlaws is. You seem ok with puting everyone else above me! Thats not ok. ” she said. 

“I did not meen to ofend you.  I did not think you would object!” he said. “If thats true why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.  “I did not think it was a big deal?” he said. “It seems to me you tried to keep it from me. Why are you interested in me feeling sicure in our relationship?  The one thing i need above everything else seems to be the one thing your unwiling to give me.i crave security, stability.  You cant or wont give that to me. I fear either. “She said.

“Did you want me to not talk to them about this?” he asked.  “No i did not.it was unessisary. Its ok to live your life. I think you agree with me. That is why you did not tell me. You knew i would get mad. I am not the most important thing in your life next to Christ.   Leane is. I am not sure you see the lord as more importent then her. You did not even tell me.i was blind sighted. I had to act like i knew.  I could not tell jacky how i realy feel. Nor would i. I feel for them.they are good people. I dont want to add to there greef. Its ok to move on. Dating me is not a sin. Marrying me is not a sin either. Although at thr rate your going that wont be an issue.  “She said 

“I am sory. I did not consider your feelings. ” he said. “Was it that you did not consider my feelings or did you and just  disregarded them. I see intent hear. ” she said. “Ok i gues i knew that you would be unhappy with and did it any ways and covered it up. ” he said. ” well at least you acknowledge it. ” she said .

“You should have told me. I would have been upset. I would have rather heard from you then hear it from her way after the fact. ” abby said. ” i know. ” he said. “There is no room for liane or any one else in team andrew abby. ” she said. “I know that and i agree. ” he said. ” it seems like your more sory you got caught. ” she said. “Thats not thr case ab. ” he said. “I find it hard to believe that andy. Everytime you chose her over me. ” she said. 

“That is  not the case! ” he told her. “Thats what it seams. You care about everyone elses feelings but myine.i resent it. ” she said. “I do care about you. ” he said. “I want to believe you but i have been burned by you too many times. ” she said.

“Did you realy want me to say nothing?” he asked. “Yes! Your obligation to them has passed. Your doing nothing wrong. Its ok to be happy.  ” she said. “I only did out of respect. “He said.

“The fact that you hid it from me tells me you knew it might upset me. You went out of your way to hide this. ” she said.

“I felt that i should talk to them. ” he said. “I know that had they objected,you would have left me. She is your soul mate not me. If she were alive and we had met before you two wed, i would not have had a chance. Your my soul mate. I cant remember those who i dated before me. Why? Because they dont matter. Look im upset. I am going to say things i will regret. I think we should call it a night. ” she sugested. “Ok! Good night.” he said.

They started to disperse. “Wait. I am mad at you but i do love you. I dont want the last thing i say to you tonight to be anything but that!, she said.  He hugged her. “I love you ab!, he answered. 

They went to there house. They had a lot to work out. 

End of part 11

Next up

Pastor bail makes a decision regarding rather or not to go with his wife to be with her dad. Abby and andrew try to work things out. 

Wedding party part 8

Two days before wedding.

Matt woke up at the same time he had been all week. He had gotten used to this  routine. Today he woke up before his alarm went off.he was tired. It was a long week but he would not trade it for anything.  

He was not ready for it to be over. The family had really come together this week. They were close before but life had got in the way. This week they had bonded like they did in the old days. 

Soon it would all change. Matt would be buisy pastroring. His mom would be taking care of the kids. Tracy would be adjusting to family life. The rest of the family would be going to school and growing up. Amber would be back on the west coast. 

He would miss her. He tried not to think about that right now. He tried to just wake up. 

Amber woke up at the same time that she had all week. Things were slowly comming together. They would soon be ready to go. 

She had been excited to see Tracy.  She had been excited to come back to her old stomping ground. She did not like traveling acres the country.  She had wanted to get back and get back to normal.  Now she found that she did not want to leave.

She realized that was not her home. This was. Being at the colege was God’s will for her but she was not sure it was now. Perhaps it was time to come back. Her life was there. She had a job ,friends,could she just up and leave? She could aford not to? Perhaps she did belong back hear.

She went downstairs. Tracy was already up. “Morning sunshine”tracy said. “Hi trace. “She said. “You ok amber?” tracy asked. “Yea. I did not realize how much i missed being hear. “Amber said. “I am so glad your hear. You have been an amazing help.”tracy said. “Thanks. ” she said. 

“Your like a sister amber. I hope you know that. “Tracy said. “I do know that and i feel the same way. “She said.  

Later on ,matt arived and then steve arived. Thursday could be the busiest day thus far. Friday they really did not have alot of time. The more things got down on Thursday ,the better.  

They headed to the church.  They then vacumed the carpet in the sanctuary. While others started putting up posters and steamers. Then they started to bring in the lattice work. They set it up. 

It took a bit to bring all of the components of the latice work in. Once it arived it was put together then set up. It took a while to get it all set up.

While the platfrom was cleared of anything not that was bot needed for the wrding. Even the podium was moved. A smal mobile podium was set up. 

Tracy had goten caught up in everything.  She stoped and smeled the roses. Things were really starting to takr shape. She was quite pleased.  

Almost everything was done. On ftiday the caterers would set up. They needed to set up there mom’s house for the rehersal dinner. Just about everything was done. 

“Tomorrow we wil get everything finished up. I want to thank all of you. None of this would have gotten done without your help. Thank you all. I am so pleased with how it has turned out.” she said. 

Matt was walking by when he saw steve look at tracy. Steve had no odea she was there. He had been reeding something. He looked up and smiled. She had had a stoic countenance. When he saw her, it all changed. She lit up. 

Something hit Matt like a ton of bricks.  At the end of the week, tracy and steve would start there life together. Matt would be alone. Everyrhing would go back to normal. He would be the same. Everyone else would be different. They would be moving but he would stil be where he was. 

What happened, he thought. How did he come to this place? He started to feel sad. He felt alone. This was unlike him. 

He took the long way home. He wanted to gather his thoughts.  He wanted to destressify. He wanted to calm down. He had no idea why this got him all worked up. He knew that it had. 

Dinner was good. Amber noticed that he was really qiet. He seemed distant.  He seemed off.  No one else noticed it but she did. She was concerned. 

Everyone was in the living room. Matt went outside. He stood on the steps. She decided to go talk to him. “You ok mat?” amber asked.  “I am having a bit of a pitty party?” he said.”not one of those. I thought you inoculated yourself from that?” she commented. “I gues it did not take.” he said. 

“What brought this on?” she asked. “I got too caught up in everything. I had no realize that tracy and steve were in love.  They realy are. He said.”i know. They are. ” she said.

“No one looks at me that way. What happened amber? Where did i go wrong?  I have been serving the lord. I have doing what i am suposed to do. Was she there and i missed her? Am i going to be single all my life?” he asked.

“Yes. Your going to live in your moms basement and read star trek novals sence you dont watch television. You will be the equivalent of a cat lady.”amber said.  “Not funy amber!” he said. 

“Yes it is. You know why? It is not going to happen. These years were not an acident. You were being perpaired. So was she. God has been working in both your hearts. Imagine you siting on a porch. A little boy is playing trucks in the sand. Your siting next to a young women. She has a baby girl on her lap. She is waring a t shirt of a christian rock band and a denim skirt. You are working on a sermons but you look up and you smile at eachother. She excist. “She said. 

He chuckled. “Christian rock t shirt?”he asked. “My prediction! ” she said. “Ok. You realy think she is out there?” he asked. “I know she is. ” she assured him. 

“I hope your right. “He said. ” dont wory about it. ” she said. “I am trying not to. ” he said. “It will be fine.  I know it will. ” she said.  

After a while,  everyone started to go home or turn in for the night. Matt left. Amber went to see tracy. “Tracy i really like matt. ” amber said.  Tracy smiled. “I know that. I have known it for a while. ” she said. 

“Do i have your permission to persue him?”she asked. “Of course! On one condition i want to be your maid of horner. ” she said. “Absolutely.  He might not say yes. Mayby he does not feel the same way i do. ” she said. “He does.  ” tracy said. 

Tracy said. “I would love it. My brother and my best friend. It would be great.  ” she told her. ” i hope it will work out. , amber said. “I think it will.” tracy said. 

That night amber had trouble sleeping. She thought about her and matt. How would approach it? How can she go about talking to him.what would she say? She finaly fell asleep.

He considered what she said.  She seemed confident that he would find someone. Was she out there. He finaly fell asleep. 

End of part 8 

Next up

Friday has arived. The day before the wedding. Amber suprises matt with something he never expexted. 

Panic attack part 13

Previously on panic attack.

Jack was traning for the ministry.  He had been a bible student student.  He was now being mentored by his father. Jack was heavily involved in the church. He was a defecto assistant asistent pastor. He sat in on deacons meetings.  

While many bible schools were the places where young men trained for the ministry met there spouse. That did not happen for jack. Jack graduated without finding the future mrs. Rayburn. 

Then he met Kristen.  A young women that capitivated him. He liked her almost immediately. She was reserved at first.  She withdrew from him. 

She was injured in a car accident a few years erlier. Her farther was killed. She was in a coma and then had a long convalescence and rehabilitation.  She bounced back with help from her mom and sisters.

It left scars visible and invisible. She sufers with anxiety and depression.  She was prone to panic attacks. She was reluctant to date him at first. she then agreed. 

It was difficult relationship at times.there was advance folowed by retreat.  It seemed to be circuler. It was advance,retreet, repeat. It could be frustrating at time. His affection for her grew and grew. Despite the difficulties he realy liked her. 

He felt like she  had let her in.  He loved that he showed how she couped with things. She had ler her in.  He felt like going with her for a drive helped him understand her. It was a huge breakthough.

His parents had invited the chairman of the deacons bored over for dinner. Dr. Wendel bears was a former missionary to kenya. He and his wife had returned to the us. They were rited from the misson field not from christian service. There children moved out and had children of there own. 

After dinner the men were outside on the porch. “So you and kristin are an item?” dr. Bears asked. ” yes we are. ” he said. “She seams like a very nice young lady. She is qiet. Reserve. ” the older man. “She is very nice. ” he said. 

“She seams to have qualities that are complimentary to someone who is working towards entering the ministry.  “Dr. Bears said. “I have observed that as well sir. ” jack told the older man. 

“I do,however have some concerns. ” he said. “Ok! What are those concerns sir? ” jack asked. “Well prior to the car crash that took the life of mr.greener and injured kristin they attended redemption Baptist church .after the acident they left r.b.c and attended quite a few different churches some independent fundamental baptist and some more evangelical and seaker sensitive.  I dont know the circumstances of there departure from those churches.  They seem to have for lack of a better term church shopped.  They dont apear to be tethered to a church or teather to a doctrine.  It may be nothing. Sense i am at your home and can talk to you freely.  I did want to mention it.” dr. Bears said. 

“Do you see it as a red flag?” he asked. “Potentialy but not necessarily.  I know pastor broaden and several people ay r.bc.they were a suporting church. It is a good church. I cant believe anyone would up and leave after a tragedy.  Things happen i suppose.  ” the older man said.

Jack had a feeling he knew why they left. He suspected that it had something to do with the fact that kristin is on antidepressants and under the care of psychologists. 

“I was not sure where they attended before coming to gospel Baptist.  It never came up. Talking about things in and around the event is difficult. ” jack said. 

“Of course. I am not trying to alter your decison to court mis grener. I wantes to bring it to your attention. I consider pastor broaden to be faithful servent of tehe lord. The fact that they roam form church to church is a bit problematic. “Dr. Bears said. 

“It could be.”he admitted.  “During courtship it is a good idea to have. Plenty of information.  We must gather information. Even facts we dislike.  I am hardly saying you should not court her but dont rush into things.”he said. 

Later that night. “You and doctor bears had an intense conversation!” pastor rayburn remarked. “Dr. Bears has some concerns. It seemed kristin and her family has switchedcuhurches a lot. She used to go to pastor broaden’s church.” he said. “I was not aware that they attended lee’s church. I hope i did not steal his sleep.” his dad said. “They have gone to a few sence then. Thats what i have heard.  I have not gotten any confirmation of that from her. “Jack said. 

“I see. What was the nature of dr. Bear’s concern?”his dad asked.”he was concerned that her family church shops. They are not committed to a church. “Jack said. 

“There could be reasons for it.”his dad said. “I think i know why. She takes meds for anxietyand depression. She is under a psychologist care. “Jack said. 

“You knew? “He asked. “Yes she was woried what how you would react. I figured we should figure it out on our react. She is on some prety serious anti dupresents. She canot just go off some of them. ” he said. 

“Jack i wish you had said something.”his dad said. “I know.  I just wanted a chance to figure all this out. “Jack said. “I understand that you want to protect kristin. You are a leader in the church. You do have responsibilities. “He said. “I know that.”he said. 

“They are not curently members. We can ask attenders not to come. We have had to do that in the past. ” pastor rayburn said. “Is church disipline warented hear?”jack asked. “I dont know.  We as a church did not ask them not to see a psychologist or not to take anti anxiety meds. Perhaps it is best not to temper with it. “His dad said. 

“I would like to visit pastor broaden.  Ask him about it. “Jack said.” ok. Jack the bible says that God goves some pastor, teachers, evengelists etc. They are to watch souls. They must give acounts. If they were asked to cease and desist and did not, it is a concern. ” the pastor said. 

“I understand. I agree. I am sory i did not tell you.”he said. “I accept your apology. Talk to pastor broaden. You might want to consider slowing down your relationship with her.” he said.”perhaps.  “Jack said. 

“Look we will see what hapends with lee broaden. Find out what happened at redemption baptist. Then we will go from there.”he said. 

He usualy called kristin but did not call her tonight.  He read in the bible as was his Tradition . his phone went off. He picked it up. “Hello!” he said. 

“Hi you did not call tonight! ” she commented.  “I had a long day.  I worked and then dr. And mrs bears came over. ” he told her.

“Oh ok. Its just not like you. You always call. ” he said. “I know . ” he said. “Is something up?” she asked. “No, nothing is up .” he said. “Your sure? ” she asked. “Yea. ” he said.”ok. I will let you go. Get some sleep. I will talk to you later. ” she said. “Ok.”he said. “I love you!” kristin said. “I love you. “He said. 

The next day he went to the nearby town of riverview. He drove to redemption baptist church. He went inside. “Hello pastor broaden. ” jack said. “Helo. Wait a minute! Your john rayborn’s son. ” he said. “It is good to see you sir. ” he said. 

“I remember when you were a little kid. ” he said. “I am all grown up now.” he said. “It seems so. ” he said.

“I am courting kristin grenner. I had some questions about her family’s attendance at your church. ” he said.”oh i see. Come this way. ” he said.

They went to his office. They sat down. “The greners came to my church sense kritin was young. I went fishing and hunting with rick.  My daughters and kristin were freinds. Kristin and her sisters spent many days at my house. We were devisated when rick was killed and kristin injured. Diane’s philosophy seemed to be two structures. Faith and medicine.  Like max plank she seemed to beleve that never the twain shal meet. She took everything the doctors said as fact. She alowed kristin to be treated with strong dosege of anti dipresents. Kristin was under the care of a psychologist that beleves in things contrary to the word of God. We expresed our concerns. Myself and the deacons felt we were not taken seriously.  Her arguments against our views did not take into account the bible. It was Diane’s decision to leave the church. We were sad to see them go. I was unaware that they were going to your church. They went to a mega church for a while. I know they went to a reformed church for a while then a middle of the road baptist church.  I had lost touch. ” he said.

“I did not know this.  This is concerning. ” he said. “I dont want to dissuade you from courting kristin. As i sad i knew you when she was little. I do have concerns. ” he said. 

 He went to barea Baptist church. He pulled in. He went to the office of the pastor. “Helo im jack rayburn. I am an assistant pastor at gospel baptist church. I had some questions about kristin grenner and her family. They are attending our church. ” he said.

“I liked the greners. They seem to be adjusting to our church. Kristin was part of our worship team. She played the keyboard and was a vocal as well.  They came to our church thinking that we were a bit more moderate then the churches they previously attended.  We use contemporary praise music, we are less strict on dress and so on.  We were however. On the same page on the isue of anti dipresents and seculer psychologist. We felt that diane put the views of secueler medical professionals above the word of God or sprituel leaders. She decided to leave. I was sory to see them go. I am suprised they returned to a fundamental baptist church. “Pastor eric tilson said. 

He went back to car. Before he could get into to his car his phone went off.he did not check his caller i.d. he just answered it. “Hello.” he said. “Jack i drop by the parsonage but you were not there. Where are you? ” kristin asked. “I am in riverview!” he said.  “What are you doing in riverview? ” she asked. ” i am on church business.  I am heading home.” he said. “Ok. Do you want to hang out tonight?”she asked. “Not tonight. I have some church business i need to go over with my dad.    It might take a while. ” jack said. “Oh ok. Well i will talk to you later. ” she said.”ok. ” he said. “I love you!” she said “i love you too. ” she said. Then the call ended. 

At home he told his dad what he learned. “I see. What concerns me is that they seem to put human wisdom and science falsly so called as superceding the bible and pastoral authority. They seem to  ignore pastors and deacons.  When presed they leave. ” his dad said.

“Kristin was 17 when the acident accured. Though she had graduated high school,she was still a minor when the crash occured. She was under her moms gaurdienship. She had little say. She might not have had a lot of options then. Once on some of these meds it is unwise to get off of them.” jack said. 

“I realize that jack. Kristin was initialy in no condition to protest. Kristin has been taught directly or indirectly that the church is a part of your life. A social club.it is not that inportent. It is a box in a series of boxes that make up a person. It is not an all emcompising thing that charecterizes life. God works though the church. The church is our identity.  A matryr when totured did not say his name. When asked his name he said he was a christian. We canot separate our identity from the body of christ. God gave pastors teachers evangelist for the equipping of the sants.  I am disturbed that there default posistion when think get tough is to leave. I fear we are a blip. Eventualy they would have left our church. They stil may. They are no committed to any one church or mayby not any one set of principles.  It would be unsafe for her  come off that medication.  No doctor would alow it. I Am not telling you to break up with her. You may want to talk to her about all this. “He said.  

“I realy like her dad. “He said. “I do too. So does your mom. This might not be a good idea. ” he said. “Would you be opposed to my continuing to see her?” he asked. “No. I hope you will think about this. Realy make sure she is the one.” he said. “Do you thibj she is not?” he asked. “I dont know. She is a nice young lady. These new facts give me pause.  ” his dad admitted.  

The mext day he called her. “Hi kristin are you going to be home today?” he asked.  “Yea. ” she answrred. “Can i come over? I wont stay long.  I wanted to talk to you about something. ” he said. “Ok. Sure come over. ” she said. 

He drove in. She came out. She wrnt over to hug him but he retreated.  She disengaged. They sat on thr steps. He left a distence between them. 

“What’s up?” she asked.  “I want to take a break. I want to revaluate our relationship.  I think we need some time apart. “He said.

“Is this because of my medication?”she asked. “Partially.  I know you have bounced from church to church. Your mom does not apear to believe in church leadership. Your not tethered to gbc or to i.f.b doctrine.” he said.

“How do you know all this? ” she asked. “I talked to pastor broaden and pastor tilson. ” he said. “Thats why you were in riverview?” she asked. “Yea.” he asked.

“You said break not breakup.  Your thinking about caling us off?” she asked. “Yes i supose i am. ” he said. “Dont you like us as a couple?” she asked. “Of course i do. You know i enjoy being with you. ” he said. “I thought you did. Look you  shoud go. “She said. “Alright. Good day kristin.  ” he said. He walked away. 

 End of part 13

Next up kristin and jack go there separate ways or do ?