Panic attack part 17

Jack and Kristen had become closer and closer over time.  Despite a difficult beginning, things were definently changing for them. They were developing a close bond. 

Jack was a frequent guests at her house and she waa a frequent guest at his. Her mom suported the relarionship but found it out to see her grow up.  She had trouble with her spending more and more time with him. He was becoming her suport system.  

Jack and her mom had talked things out. Things had inporoved with them.diane was slowly becoming more supportive of the relationship. 

Kristin was growing closer to his parents as well. Diane and the family were becoming more a part of the church as well. 

They had been together for two mounths now.  There relationship seemed to be in a very good place. Both were happy and content. 

Kristin had a doctors appointment a few days after there two mounth aniversry. It was prety routine .she had goten used to these. She was not expecting anything earth shatering to occur but perhaps she should have..

She had her useal physical. The dr had some reedings takon.the doctor then came out. “Kristin, i need to perscribe some new medications.  “The doctor said. “Ok” she said. 

“With these medication,you wont be able to drive.  I am aftaid i will need to take your lisence.” he said. “Is this medication necessary?” she asked. “I really do kristin.i know this is not what you want to hear. ” the doctor said. “No it is really not.  ” she said. 

She took a few minutes. She called jack. “Hi hunnie! ” he said.”jack they pulled ny lisence!” she said. “What happened? ” he asked.  “I have been prescribed mrdication that inpairs the ability to drive. My wings have been clipped. ” she said.

“I am so sorry. ” he said. ” look. Can you get one of your sisters ot brothers to drive you hear and drive my car home. If you cant its ok. I can call my mom.” kristin said.

“No i will be right there. Just give me a few minutes and i will be right there. ” he said. “Thank you so much..”kristin said. “Look we will get though this together ok?” he remarked. “Ok” she said. 

He got his sister to drive with him.he went to the doctors office.  She waited for him. He ran to her. She grabed on to him. He held her for a few minutes. She started to cry. 

“I know it does not feel it but it will be ok. ” he said. “I know it will. It just does not feel that way right now. I just feel lost. things were finaly starting to look up.” she said. 

he drove her home. “Look can we hanng out or something. I need a distraction?” she asked.  “Yea i need to drive marissa home. ” he said. “I will tell my mom.” she said.

She went to her mom. “Jack and i are going to go out for a bit.i need to get away and clear my head. ” Kristin said. “Are you ok kris?” diane asked. “No but i am  ok enough. ” she told him. ” she said.

Diane hugged her. “I worry about you kriss. ” her mom told her. “I know you do. I am hurt and heartbroken. .i know i can get though it. ” she said. “Ok. Have a good job with jack.”she said.”thanks. ” she said.kristin hugged her mom.

Kristin, jack and marissa went to there house in jack’s car. They droppes marisa off. “Where do you go when your sad and want to cheer up? “She asked.

“I know just the place!” he said in a glee full tone. “I am a little concerned. Should i be? “Kristin asked. “Mayby a little. ” he said.

They pulled up to a burger soveregn. ” burger sovereng really?” she said. “This is how i destresify. They have amazing shakes” he told her. “I could like a milk shake. You know my mom baned us from going to fast food.” she said. 

“Oh no! Will taking you hear put me in the dog house with your mom?” he asked.  “It might. Why not. I always like to do things i have never done before. They make good milk shakes?” she asked. “They are great. I promise. ” he said. 

He parked.  They got out. They held hands. “Can you get me the bigest milk shake they have.i might let you have some. ” she said. 

“Ok. ” he said. “I feel weird being hear. Its is like being in a bar. ” she said. “Your comparing burger sovereign to a bar? ” he asked.  ” it was the most apt comparison i could think off. ” kristin said.

He ordered a burger and fries. She just wanted a milk shake and got some chicken nugets. They sat down at the table. 

“Thank you for this! “Kristin said. “No problem.  ” he said.”wow. This is great! ” she said. “I told you!” he said. She laughed. 

“I could not wait to drive. The minute i turned 16, i begged my dad to teach me to drive.  He was so patcient with me. I was so excited when i got my license.  When i woke up from the coma it took me a while to get it back.my mom was skidish about me driving but i loved just driving. That was when i discovered the spot. I felt so free. I could forget about everything that was going on. Now i gues i wont be able to. ” she said. 

“Well i enjoy driving.  Give me a call and we can take a drive. I know that it wont be the same but i am sure it can help. ” he said. “It wont be the same but it will be fine. ” she said.

“Was your mom ok with you going with me?” he asked. “Yes she was. She wants me to come to her with stuff. I know she cares about her. She worriers about me. I want to be sad. I want to deal with it. I want you to be with you. Your good madicine jack. “She said.

“I am glad.  I dont always have the answers. Sometimes all i can do is listen, give you a big hug and be there. ” he said. “I am ok with that. I dont need you to solve my problems. I just need to know you care. I know you do. I dont doubt that.  ” she said. 

“Are you ok krissy?” he asked. “No but yes. I know it will get easier in time. I know it is not the end of time. It is hard but i will be alright. ” she said.

“How is your shake?” he asked. “Amazing. I cant believe i have never had it before. I cant believe what i have been missing. ” she said. 

After a while they decided to leave. They walked out hand in hand. “Thank you for tonight.  Just having you hear makes it easier. I feel like i am stuck.  I just cant get pass that night.  I can never fully move on. I get so close but then i am pulled back in.” she said 

He hugged her. She cried on his shoulders.  He squezed her tightly. She held on to him. “Its ok. I got you! I am not going to leave you krissy! I love you. ” he said.

“I love you jack! You always going to be there for me? ” she asked. “As long as i have breath, definently. ” he said. She smiled. 

“I am not letting you get away. Not without a fight. ” she said. “I have no intention of leaving. That day is not going to define you. It has a lasting legacy for sure. It is not your end. It bateted you but it not destroy you. Your are blodied but stronger. ” he said. She held on him for a bit.

They got in the car. They went to there spot in the woods. They stood for a bit. ” i love this spot! We are going to show our kids this spot?” she remarked. “Absolutely.  ” he said.

“I hope they love it like we do. ” she said. “I think they will. ” he said. ” i needed to just cry things out. ” she said. “Thats fine. You dont have to be strong in front of me.  Be yoursf. Cry if you need to. Im hear for you always. ” he said.

“I dont doubt that. ” she said. He held on to her. They drove back to her house. “I had a good night despite the day. You do good cheering me up. ” she told her. “I am glad . i want to do for you. ” he said. 

“I know you will. You did really good tonight.Thank you. ” she said. He hugged her. He escorted her to the door.

She went to see her mom. “Mom. I love jack.  He is such a sweet and gentlemen.  He has been great. I will not need you mom. I know you worry about me. I will be ok. Its hard but i can make it. ” she said. 

“I do wory about you. You may habe been a dadys girl but you are still my dsughter. I will never get over how close i lost you. ” diane said. Kristin started crying.

“It is hard to see you grownup. It is hard to see you getting ready to move on. I know some day sooner then i want you will be leaving me and cleving to jack.  Your handiling this different tonight. ” diane said. 

“Mom i do stil need you. That wont change. ” she said.” i will ne there for you whenever you need me. I promise. ” diane said. They hugged.

End of part 17.

Next up.

Kristin adjust to life without driving. Diane wories she is sliping in depression while jack plans a big day for her. 
 

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Panic attack part 12

Previously on panic atack

Kristin lost her farther in a car accident.  She was badly injured herself. She had to recover in a long term rehab center.  She has mostly recovered . she is prone to anxiety .

Jack is the son of a pastor. He is training to be a pastor. He is being mentored by his dad. He is serving as a kind of assistant pastor. He has been kept buisy. 

Jack and kristin had a rough start.  They started to date.  Things were starting to take shape between them. There always seem to be a two steps forward, one step back. 

Things had gone incredibly well. They were developing a rythem. At a picnic she realized that this was the anniversary of her dads death. She froze up. She just had to get away. 

He drove her home. She ran inside. “Your home early?”her mom remarked. “You know what today is?” she asked. “Yes. Im sory i did not say anything.  I thought mayby you had remembered and just did not want to talk about it. ” her mom said.

“I can’t believe i forgot about it. ” she said. ” its ok hunnie. It is bond to happen. Ita ok to have a life. ” she said.” i know that. I just have to process all of this. ” kristin said. “I understand. ” her mom said. 

Kristin decided to go upstairs. She went up to her bedroom. She cluched on to an old stuffed bear. Her dad gave it to her when she was young. He won it for her from one of those claw machines.  She hugged it. 

The bear had become a memory . it stayed near her bed. When she was hospitilized, ashly brought her some things from home. She cluched on to the bear. When she was little she named it henry. 

When she woke up from the coma,henry became a constent companion again. 

She remembered waking up. She was obivous at first.  She became startled. Ashley,  her mom and her sister janey were there. ” kris its ok. Your safe!” ashly said.

“Where am i?” she said. She saw that was wearing a hospital gown. She saw that she was hooked up to iv and other wires. “Hunnie you are at Jenson rehabitation center. You were in a really bad acident. ” her mom told her. 

She stated to remember. The events that led up to the crash started to come back. “Where is dad?” she demanded to know. “Sweetheart lets take this one step at a time!” her mom said. ” where is dad?  I have to know!” she incisted. 

“Hunnie he did no make it. ” her mom told her. She started to cry.  She held on to her mom. Her mom held her close. That night she held on to her bear. 

It did not really sink in that he was gone until she was relesed. He kept a couple of coats in the foyer. They were gone.  It really sunk in then.  

Everyone else had been had time to let things sink in. It had been four mounths sense the accident.  For her,it felt like it had just happened.they had had a smal commital service with just the family. After kristin felt better they had a momorial service. She was stil in the rehab center but got a day pass. The memories flooded back. 

He was not sure what to do. Should he call her or just wait for her to call him. He missed her. He was having a such a good time with her and then it was over. He wanted to get back to that moment. He wished there had been a way to stop the date from ending. 

He had no way to know if he was in love. He did not know if falling in love was a real thing.  He felt something for her. He grew closer to her. Now it was over. He just wanted to talk to her. 

He did not hear from her that night. He decided not to try to contact her. He would see her at church the next day. At least he hoped she would be there.  

She styaed in her room more of the day. Her mom and sisters kept checking up on her just to make sure that she was ok. She assured them she was. 

He was teaching sunday school and did not get to talk to her before his class began. After the class was concluded,he went over to her. He sat down next to her. 

” on a scale of one to ten, how mad are you at me?” she asked. “I am not mad. I am upset. I want you to trust me. I want you to let me in. I really want to be a part of your suport syistom. I respect your mom and sisters but i hope to become your suport syistom. Your holding back and i dont know why. I want to be there for you. I feel like your not letting me. ” he told her. 

“I explained  to you  that i need my space. I have to fight my own battles.  It is importent to me that i prove to myself i can. You said you understood.” she said. 

“I do understand.  When i become your husbend i want to be there for her.  It is not a questione of can you fight your own battles. You are the bravest person i know.  You should not have to. Juat because you can go it alone does not meen that you should. ” he said.

” this probably is not the time or the place for this discussion. ” she told him. ” your probably right. ” he said. They were silent for a few minutes. Then the pastor started the service. 

After the service, “look i will see you around.  ” she said. “Ok. Call me if you want to .” he told her. She left the sancuary. He wanted to walk her to her car but she did not apear to want that. 

He had a dificult after noon. He realy missed her. He wished he could talk to her. He just did not think that was possible.  

That night he hoped to see her. She never came in . he saw ashly and diane. “Jack. Kristen has decided to stay home tonight. ” diane said. ” oh ok. ” he said.

He tried not to be distracted. He tried to focus. He found it hard to do so. He was able to pay attention mostly. 

 Monday night his phone went off. He saw that it was from Kristen.  ” hey krissy !” he said. “Hi jack. I do this thing where i just drive around in order to clear my head. You want to come along with me?” she asked.

“Ok sure. ” he said. “I will be over in a couple minutes?” she said. “Sure. ” he answered. He went to the porch. Her green jeep pulled in. He went inside.

He hugged her. She held on to him.”look im realy sorry. I just shut down.  ” she said. “I know. I figured that. I love her krissy. I am hear for you. I promise you that. ” he told her.

“I know that. Thank you. ” she said. She drove off. “So you go for drives often?” he asked. She smiled and said,”yes i do. I love driving.  This helps me clear my head. I could not wait to get my lisence. When i was hospitilized my lisence was yanked. I had to go though a milion hoops to get it back. ” she said.

“I did not really want to get my lisence.  I was the oldest of ‘forty kids ‘so my parents incisted i get my lisence. I did. ” he said. 

“My mom hates when i do this. I love driving. I feel free when i do this. I can forget everything. I can live hear. ” she said.

“She lets you do this?” he asked. “I am an adult. She does not like it. Sometimes she keeps caling me. I would not answer but i fear she might send out the search party. I told her where i go. I told her you were coming. ” she said. 

“Oh i see. I am your chaperone? ” he said.  “A little bit. I do want you hear. ” she said. “I know. ” he said. 

They drove to a field. She stoped. They got out. They looked around. “I love this spot. I like to just stand hear.i find i do my best thinking hear.”she said. 

“What’s on your mind kris?” he asked.”i should have moved on by now. Everytime i do, the menories flood back. I dont know how to deal with it. ” she said. 

“Let me in krissy. I want to be your very best friend.  I want to be your partner . i care about you more then i can describe.  ” he said. “I know that. I do trust you. ” she assured him.

After talking for a bit they went to the car. They drove around for a bit. She pulled back into his driveway.  “So have you gone on these drives sence we got together?”she asked. “Yes i have .” she said. ” i figured. Thank you for inviting me along. ” he said.”thank you for comming. ” she said. They hugged. They said goodnight.
  End of part 12

Next up kris relationship with her old churches thretends her relationship with jack. 

Panic attack part 11

When jack first met Kristen, something was stired in him. He could not understand it. It was so unlike him. He could not ignore it.  At first it seemed that she did not feel the same way about him. 

Kristin and him decided to date. The more time he spent with her the more he felt for her. She slowly let down her gaurd.  She sowly trusted him more and more. He saw that. 

Then there was the day she helped him change the oil on his car.  That was a turning point . he saw what maried life with her would be like. They would laugh together smile together, work together,  pray together and yes cry together.  They would do it togerher. 

He loved being with her. Even disagreements would not doom there relationships.  He felt positive while driving home from her house.

He had a colection of hyims on cd from a Christian college on his way home. He parked the car. He walked to the door. He walked inside. 

 Most of the family stared at him. “Oh no! She posted pics of us changing the oil didn’t she?” he asked. “Yes. She did.  You two are really cute.” his mom said. 

“You did not want her to post them?” hsis dad asked. “No its fine. It was a little embarrassing.  It was fun. We had a good time interacting with eachother while doing it. ” jack admitted. 

“You got a lot of likes. Including from both sets if grandparents.” his mom said ” papa Grammy, grampa and nana saw it?” he asked.” yes they did.” his Merissa answered. His siblings laughed.

He thought to himself, “man i am realy going to get teased. ” he figuted he was never going to be able to live this one down. 

She started to trust him. She got closer and closer to him.she did start to let her gaurd down. She grew more wiling to be vannerable around him. She found him to be sweet. He was kind and caring. 

She had no idea what he would be like. The more she got to know him the more she liked.  She looked forward to getting to know him more. 

At the midweek service he saw her. His eyies met hers. Her face went from serious to smiling. “Hi babe!” she said. He smiled . “hi. ” he said.

They sat down. “You got raked over the coals? ” she remarked. “Yes i know. I would not change it for anything. It was a good bonding experience.” he said. “Told you ” she said.

They decided to get together on saterday. They met in a park for a picnic. She made a. Bunch of chicken salid sandwitch and desert. She wore a brown sweter and back and gray skirt and flip flops. 

“Beautiful day today? ” he remarked.”it really is. Not a single cloud in the sky. Sun is shinning.  ” she said. 

After dinner they played several rounds of volley ball. ” i was on the high schhol soccer team. ” she said. “Did you go to public school?” he asked. “I did. I went to a Christian school until secvond grade then went to public school. ” she said.

“I was home schooled. ” he said. “All 12 years?” she asked. “All 12 years!” he answered.  ” i cant imagine never going to a formal school. ” she said.”i cant imagane going to a formal school. “He answered. ” i gues that makes sence. ” she said. 

“You played sports?”he asked. “I loved playing sports. Did you play sports at bible college?” she asked. “Intermural.  We have sports teams that play other schools and tournaments but i never played on them. ” he said.

“Not a sports guy?” she asked. “Oh i love sports. I like playing sports. Playing professional sports is probably not in my future. I will stick to pastoring. ” he said. “Ok.” she said. 

“I do enjoy shooting a basketball or hiting a voley ball etc. I find it therapeutic.  ” he said. “I do too. When i got out of the hospital , i spent houers outside playing basketball.  Ash and mom were woried about me . it was my way to coupe. ” she said. “Understandible. There is no right or wrong way to mourn or coupe or heal. Everyone does it differently. “He said. 

“I stil have healing to do. ” she said. He took her hand. “I know. I am hear for you. Always. Whatever you need whenever.  I am hear for you. I want to help you heal. “He assured her. “Thank you. “She squeezed   his hand. He squeezed it back. 

“Its hard to talk to my mom and sisters. They worry about me. They want me to be ok. They worry if im not totaly alright i will become realy depressed or a danger to myself. The truth is im not ok but im ok. If that makes sense.  ” she said. 

“It does make perfect sense. Its there job to worry. You can understand why. You can always talk to me. I promise i wont judge. I want you to feel free to be honest. ” he said. 

“I want to be ok. I really do. ” he said.”i know. You dont have to be strong. You dont have to be ok. We can work though this together.  ” he told her. “Ok. “She said.

They got talking about various things.she just stoped. She got frantic. “You ok kriss?” he asked. “What is the date today?” she asked. “May 27th. “He said. ” oh no. I got to go home. ” she said. “What is it?” he asked.

“Today is the day that dad died. I just want to be alone. ” she said.   “Ok.”he said. They packed everything up. They put everything away in the car. 

She did not say mutch on the way home. He pulled in her driveway.she had just shut down. “Call me when you want to. ” he said. “Ok” she said.she then went inside. 

He drove home.  ” your home early. “His mom said. “She wanted to get home.   “He said.  “You ok son?” his dad asked. “Yea im fine.  ” he said. 

He felt like they were nearing a breakthrough.  Then it was all over. He had no idea how to deal with it or what to do now.

End of part 11

Sorrow upon sorows the conclusion. 

“Captain’s log,the chancellor of the klingon empire has rescinded an earlier declaration sating that the daughter shoud die as her brother. The enterprise who considered not attending the momorial adress has decided to attend after all. I am hopefull that our attendence will continue to shore up our alliance with them. ” 

Qonos 

First citty of qamche 

Imperial hall

The hall was filled to compacity. There were diplomats from a hundred or so different world thoughout the greater reigion. There were members of klingon government, the military,diplomatic core and common people.  The senior staff of the enterprise were there as well. 

After a few minutes the chancelor went to the podium. “People of the empire, honored guests. This is a grave day for the empire. This is a hard day for myself as well. I hoped for a different outcome. “He said.

“No one control ones destiny. Not totally.  I honor my son. He would havr brought me honor. He has. Today i chose not to fret over what canot be. I chose to create a world he would have been proud of. I chose to live on. He will live on in my memory. In the memory of his mother . he will live on in his sister.i know she will make him proud. I know this empire will make him proud.  We are klingons. We will endure. Because we must.”

“These have been perilous times for the enpire. We have survived. We have moved on. We will continue to do so. We have no choice. I know we can. I beleved those that has gone before us are cheering us on. We are there best hope. Those who come after us are looking to us as well. They look to us to pave the way for them. For there future. A future i believe we can create. One we will.”

“I do it with a broken heart. I am the leader of thr klingon empire.  I should be detached. I am not. No stoism today. Unconquered but not unschaved.  Not destoyed but not quite whole. “He said. 

As he spoke the door opened. She went over to ben. It was kalera. He put her arm around her. “You ok?”he asked. “Im getting there.”she said.”i love you.”ben said. “I love you.”she said. 

Epilougue

Nine mouths later.

U.s.s enteprise

Sickbay 

After several houers of labor. There daughter was born. Julie rebecca jihan norris. She was perfectly healthy. Dr. Piper gave the child to kalera. “Hi there. Welcome to the galaxsy julie. “She said. Ben kissed her forehead. 

After. A while ben held her. “Congradulations captain.”mark said.”thanks mark.” noris said. The doctor and nurse chepel left the new family to bond. 

The end. 

Sorrow upon sorrow part six. 

They went to the beefing room.kalera was visibly shaking. He hugged her. He held on to her. “Lori whats going on?” ben asked. 

“Ben I’m pregnient “she said.  “That’s a good thing right?”he asked. ” yes it is. We have talked about having children.  I do want children.  “She said.

“Then whats going on love?” he asked. She sat down. She broke down. He put his arm around her. “You know i was maried once upon a time. “She said. “Yes sub commander zerek. “He remarked.”yes. It was an arranged marriage.  As i have said he was killed in a battle with orion smugglers near the border. Before that i became pregnant.  I had a son.he died not long after he was born.”she said.

“Hunnie, i had no idea. ” ben said he held on to her. She cried on his shoulder. ” doctor piper says that he is going to treat this as a high risk pregnancy but he says that he says so far he is very optimistic.  He things every thing is good. We are having a daughter by the way. ” she said.

He smiled. ” look lori dr. Pipper is the besr. He is not the ships doctor he is pratically the ship’s grandfather.  He will do everything he can to make sure the baby is fine and healthy.” she said. 

“I know that. I have complete confidence in him. I am just afraid ben. I cant go though this again. If i lose this child i cant bear it. ” she said. 

“Lori we are not that yet. I cant assure you that everything will be fine. I don’t know what the future holds. None of us are totaly in control of our destiny. We are just not. There are always circumstances unseen forces.  We never have complete information. We cant know how things play out.lori this child is going to have two parents that love eachother and love her. She is going to be part of a larger comunity. She will be loved and cared for. “He said. 

“Ok. I know that. “Lori said.”i think that she is going to be fine. I am hooeful that she will be healthy and happy. Whatever happens we will deal with it together.  “He assured her. She rested her head on his shoulder. ” ok. ” she said.

“I love you. I love you so much ” she told her. She hugged him. They held eachorher. 

Bridge 

 “You seam happy?” dr. Piper said. “I am mark” he said. ” then i take you know now. ” dr. Piper remarked.”i do. ” the captain said. ” whats going on?”bienka asked. “I am going to be a dady. ” he said.the bridge crew congratulated him.everyone was happy for him. 

” alright i am going to meet with mukatet. Under no circumstances if any one to go to the surface.  “Ben ordered. “Aye sir. ” the female executive officr said. “Purit, carlos stand by to go to warp at a moments nottice !”ben ordered. The crew agreed. 

“Ok. Bienka you have the bridge! “He said. “Aye sir. ” she said.  “What if you cant convince the chancellor to spare the life of the child? ” gioto asked. “I have no idea barry. ” he said. 

The captain left the bridge.  He entered the turbo lift. The door closed behind him. 

Home of the chancellor

Camche

” captain norris you wanted to speak to me in private?” the chancellor asked. “I do chancellor.  Thank you for meeting with me!”he said.

“Of course. Captain. “Mukaret said.”chancellor i wish to speak to you off the record. “Ben told the klingon leader. “Of course benjaman it it?” the leader said.

“May i be canded?” he asked. ”  proceed.  “Mukaret said. “Sir i understand that the loss of your son is a huge blow to you. It is truely a tragedy.  I must say that i disagree with your decison to terminate the life of your surviving child. This is hardly a solution.  “He told the klingon in charge of the empire.  

“Captain.  Humans are known for there belief that all life is sacred. All life has value.  It is a view that manny klingons do not share. I have always believed that one has to prove there value.  There are not enough resources to justify a terusnagen philosophy. “He told the captain. 

“Mukaret do not this! You will regret it. Dont go down this path. You will never be able to reverse it. This will undo you sir. “Ben said. 

“I have daughters captain.  I do not need more. “Mukaret said. “What about sanjaya? Would you really be so cruel. Dont you care about anyone but yourself?  “Ben norris said.

“Carefull captain. You may be a defacto ambassador for the federation. We may be alies but i wont tolerate insult in my private chambers.” the chancellor said.

“She will never forgive you. In your mind you can remove her as your wife. What if your next wife fails to get you a son and the next? How far wil you go?” he asked.

“I dont want to look at that child!”he said. “Alow sanjaya to take the child to the federation.  ” ben said.”my enemies might use it agqinat me. They may say i am weak for not keeping to my original edict. Other might say i am against family vailures. It is a risk.”he said.

“Why not five her a chance. Who knows you too might become close?” ben asked. “I dont know if i have the strengh to do this. She will be a constent reminder of what i have lost. ” he said. 

“Mayby but you will be reminded no matter. It chould be worse. Come on chancellor.  Please please.”norris pleaded with him. He thought it over.

He got up and left his office. Be. Folowed him.sanjaya was cradiling her daughter in her arms. “Sanjay! Captain norris and i have discused it. I am resinding my decison. “He said.

“Thank you. ” she said. “I hope you can forgive me in time. Some day i may ask for it. I will not today. I do see the error of my earlier decison.” the chancellor said. ” i am happy with your new decison. You will not regret it. She will bring honor to you. “Sanjeya said. “The ceremony will be to honor our late son. Today we afirm life.” he said 

“Mukaret my heart aches . i know it does for you as well. “She told him.”it is like a dusruptor beam to the head. I am dead but move. “He said. “I feel the same. “She said.

“I have never lost a child. I have gad my share of greef. You keep going becsuse you have to. Those who left us would want us todo no less. “Ben said. 

To be concluded. 

Unlikly Source 

Sorow is something experienced by everyone everywhere. Sorow does not discriminate.  There will always be sorow even in the 24th cencuary in the final frontier.   

This is captain eric lewis of the federation starship Minnesota.  A few years ago his wife was killed during the federation war with the dominion.  He has a two young children. Today marks four years sense her death.  

Captain lewis woke up with his alarm. The computor vioce staeted out soft and got louder. It would not stop until he deactivated it.he felt weird and did bot not why. Then it ocured to him.  

Bridge 

The captain entered the bridge.  “Captain on the bridge! ” an officer at a reer station said.  He said,’as you were’in a slightly anoyed tone. The bridge crew tried to ignore it.

A vulcan who was the science officer took note of it. She scaned his service record and saw what was troubling him. She made a mental note of it. 

The first officer gave him a report of events going on throughout the day.the exo noticed that the captain seemeitto be anoyed by the endless recitation of the events.”it is really necessary to go into mundane details.  “The captain said.

“Dont you want to know what is going on the ship?  “The first officer asked. “Pertinent data don.i dont need to know the bowel movement of the crew. A nazaka warship in the reigion yes.a super nova about to hir us yes.a slug making its way though the sector no. Is that clear?”the captain asked. “Yes sir. Quite clear!” first officer makenzi said. ” alright. Anything else?”he said in a slightly belligerent tone. “No sir. ” he answered in a tapid tone. 

The captain was usually even keeled.he was laid back. Even in hostle situation he was never on throughout edge.  Today was different.  The crew was not accustomed to this. The crew had no idea how to act around him. 

The captain sat down. All day every interaction between the captain and crew went like this. It was very tense. The crew acted like they were walking on egg shells. 

“Captain! “The tactical officer said. The captain was lost in thought. The tactical officer tried again. Then he snaped at the officer. “What?” the captain asked in an anoyed tone. “Sir i have a new secuity report from star fleet security.  ” the tactical officer said. 

“Can you upload it to my council?”the captain asked. “Aye sir.” the nervous officer reported. The captain receved it.he looked over the report. 

“May i speak to you in private? ” the first officer asked. “Of course.commander omron you have the bridge. ” the captain said.the captain got up from the comanr chair. The exo followed him. The bolion officer sat at the command chair. The two entered the ready room.the door closed. 

“Is there a problem?  You have been uncharacteristicly irritable? ” don mekenzi asked. “No i am fine.”he said. “This is not like you. You are bit touchy. This is alarming behavior sir. ” the first officer said.”your probably right don. I will tone it down. ” he said.

“Ok! Thank you sir.” the first officer said. He nodded.the first officer left the office. He sat down at his chair. He breathed a loud sigh. He put his head in his hand.

The chime rang. The captain did not want to have any visitors. He was not sure he could turn that person away without arousing questiones he desperately did not want asked.Reluctantly he agreed to let them in. “Come in!” the captain said.

The door opened. It was lt. Losera the vulcan science officer who entered. ” lt, i was not expecting you. ” the captain said.

“I know why you are out of sorts today. ” she said. “Did you come to lecture me on how i am behaving in an irarional ilogical manner? ” the captain asked. 

“No i am not hear to lecture you! “She said. “Then why are you hear?”he asked. “I thought you might want someone to talk to. “She said. “This ship has a counseling staf. Why would i chose to confer with a vulcan who cannot identify with what i am experiencing? “He asked. 

“You are mistaken. I am non emotional. That is not the same as unsympathetic.  Vulcan may not react to loss as humans do but that does not meen that we are not effected by such a loss. “She said.

“I Dont want to think about it! I want to be normal again.i want to be back to being me. “He said.”this loss has changed you. That is unavoidable.  You can adapt to those changes. You cannot  Avoid the loss. You have to confront it. Ignoring it will hardly cause it to go away.  ” she said. 

“I know your right. I Dont like it but i know your right. I will try to do that. Its been four years. “He said.”some things take longer then usual.  ” she said.

“How does a vulcan deal with loss?”the captain asked.”while we do not mourn in an enotional way as humans do,we do not deny that the loss has occured. We atempt to pass it. Sometimes that is more difficult then other times. The loss of the intrepid with all hands was troubling even for vulcans. A vulcan officer on the grisson could not handle it.” she said.”i know the account.  I dont want to be alright. I Dont want to move on but i also want to. I want to move on. ” the captain said. 

“That makes sense!”she said. “It does! ” he said. “Yes it does. It is natural for you to want to move on but to also to not move on. Particularly now after it has been four years.  ” she said.”i thought i was ok. I finaly was starting to come to terms with it but im not. Not at all. I am as lost as i ever was. ” he told her. 

“Lost but not alone. ” she told him. “Why do you care? Is it mearly because you want a compotent commander at the con?”he asked.  “You should know me better then that eric. My concern is genuine not for any other reason. Why can you not trust me?”she asked.

“I do trust you losera. ” he said. “I thought you did. You can. I am not hear as a star fleet officer. I am hear as your friend. “She said.” i appreciate that lt,uh losera. “He said.

He huged her. He realized what hw was doing was inappropriate.  He started to move on. She prevented him for doing so.”it is fine.” she said. He held on to her.”thank you. ” he said. 

The rest of the day he was better. He was glad when his shift ended. He turned over the ship to the night shift duty officer. He was happy to go home. He picked up his kids from the ships day care. He took them to his qurters. 

A couple mounths later.

He saw losera in the turbo lift.he entered. “Computer hold the lift. “He said. The lift stoped. “Losera. May i ask you something off the record?”he asked. “If course eric.” she said. “Do you want to go out sometime?”he asked.”are you asking me out in a date?” she asked.”i am. ” he said. “I would be agreed to that. ” she said

“Very good.”the end.

The happy killer

“No one should be unhappy. It is the duty of all mankind to be happy. It is a privlegdge that must be exercised. The survival of mankind depends on universal happiness. ” serial killer Luckus Lee Cole.
Whitney Ross was crying. She just got word that her brother had died.he was killed in Afghanistan.it was his third deployment. He had been twice deployed to Afghanistan and once to Iraq. She felt a gambit of emotions.
What she did not know what that she was being watched. He waited. He ordered flowers be sent to her.  She smiled for a split seconds.then she cried again.
He hated what he was about to do. He felt he had bo choice. He took out the rifle. He adjusted the scope. Then he fired. It was a head schot.she was dead instantly .
A neighbor living in the down stairs of the apartment apartment heard a noise. She knew The girl. She liked her. She was worried. She decided to call the police . they checked it out.
The officer knocked on the door.when no one answered. He broke Down the door. He found her dead. He found a broken window.
Detective Robert Grainger and his partner detective Jake Corrigan were called to the scene.
“Whitny Ross 21. She was a psychology student at the community college.she worked at a convenient store. She lived alone. No pets. No boyfriend. Kept to herself. She has a parents who live in tensile. She has two brothers and sister who live in tenisee. She just lost a brother a few weeks ago. He was killed in combat over seas .”detective corigon said.
“Cause of death appears to be bullet to the head. The crack in the window indicates that the killer was a sniper. He fired from that apartment. ” the responding officer said.
The snipers pirch was an empty apartment. It had been accent for a mounth. The place was searched but there was no evidence of probitive vailure.
” the victim was a work a holic.no social life. No enemies. Yet she is dead. ” detective corigon said. “How did her brother die ?” the captain asked. “He was killed by an I.e.d. ” corigon said.
Her last day was mundane.she got up. Went to classes.then went to work went home.
Her social media activity concerned corispondents with family. All other activity was school related. Nothing to give a clue as town someone would want her dead.
“Whait check this out. It is an anonymous post on her obituary on line. ” sorrow is evil. Being sad is the worst thing we could do. We must celebrate a life lived never to mourn a life lost. ” corigon said.
“Could this be form the killer?” detective Grainger asked. “I think it’s possible. ” corigon said. Is this random or did she know the killer?”the captain said. “The whole crime seams dispasonate. It is clean. One schot” corigon said.
“I am thinking x military. Perhaps a trained sniper. ” Grainger said. ” check for te school for x military. Mayby it was someone she knew at school. ” the captain said.
The school records came up with one x military sniper. His alibi checked out. He was rulled out as a suspect.
The detectives intervued the people who worked with her. She was well liked at work.she was quiet but friendly.she was a favorite cashir. They asked about any problem customer. They did not know of any serious ones.
Ann Marie Nicholas heade home from classes. It was a typical day. She was usually a bubbly outgoing girl. She had not been happy lately.her mom was just diagnosed with cancer. It was hard to be her old self knowing her mom was facing tough treatment while she was miles away .
She went to her apartment. She went to the sofa. She had a long cry. He was waiting. He had a rifle ready. He prepared his weapon. He waited. He gave her a chance. If she smiled he might spare her life. She never did.
He would only wait so long. She kept crying. He got his target. He acquired the target. Then he pulled the trigger.
She was hit. It was at point blank range. She fell to The ground dead.the killer then moved on.
This time her mother got worried when she did not answer her phone.she called a fellow student to check up on her.she discovered the body .
The detectives were called in. The crime scene looked almost totally identical to the first schooling. It was Erie.
” Ann Marie Nicholas age 21 pre law major at the local community college. She works as a cashier. Like Whitney she had a family tragedy. Her mom was diagnosed with cancer. ” corigon said.
“Are we looking at a serial sniper? ” Grainger said. “It could be. These two cases are almost virtually identical. ” corigon said. ” we have two young ladies. Both well liked quwt sweet. Why target these people? ” Grainger asked.
” they both experienced a family tragedy. I think that is the connection.” corigon said. ” why target  those who have had family tredegy? ” Grainger asked.
At the station they monitored the social media and obituaries of the two deceased. ” wait I got something!” corigon said. “What do you have? ” Grainger asked. “An anonymous  comment her online guest book at the funeral home.’ann Marie was a cheerfull happy person. She gave in to the evil of sadness. The evil destroyed her. Her sadness killed her. ” corigon said.
” what if the killer targets people who was usually happy but circumstances have made them sad! What if this enraged the killer?” corigon said.
“You got to be kidding? ” captain keeler said. Then he added,”a killer that targets formerly happy people who are now sad. ”
“This killer seams to be fixated on the fact that formerly happy individuals are now sad. ” Grainger said. “This is irrational. Things happen. Even happy people face hard Times. How are they supposed to react?” detective Rachel Reese asked.
“This makes sence to the killer. To him it is rational. ” corigon said. “He is a vet. Probably a sniper. We have a guy who targets sad young ladies. ” the captain said. ” sad young ladies known for there happiness. ” corigon said.
The police department decided to look at a  cold cases perhaps the murder of Whitney was not the first from the happy killer. They looked at older cases.
“We have found seven cases .all young ladies all killed by a sniper. All with family crises. ” corigon said. “The cases seam to have begun six years ago. ” Grainger said. “If it is a vet maybe this was when he returned. ” the captain said.
They reopened the case of who they believed was victim zero.  Kathy Greer was a med student.she was bubbly. Then her brother was killed in a car accident. She withdrew. She almost considered taking a break from her studies. Her neighbor was lucus Lee Cole.
Cole was a us army sniper. He had been honorably discharged from the army just as Kathy had moved to the apartment.  Cole kept to himself. He was quiet .
Cole was intervued after Kathy’s murder. He was rulled out as a suspect. Now to Grainger and corigon he looked like a prime suspect.
“I talked to his old commanding officer. He was decorated. He was a happy guy. He disliked sadness. His fellow soldiers called him a walking inspirational meme. He loved cookie cutter aphorism. ” Grainger said. ” pick him up!” the captain said.
Cole was stil living at the same house. He had worked at a hardware store.he started his own business. It was a book store that specialized in inspirational book and self help books.
“Mr. Cole I’m detective Robert Grainger. This is detective Hayden
Corigon. ” he said. “How can I help you detective?” Cole asked .
“We are reopening the Kathy Greer case. ” corigon said. This perked up his interests .” oh! I feel so bad that her case was never solved.she was so sweet. She had a great heart. She could have changed the world. ” Cole said.
” yes. I can see that. She went on trips around the world. She seem to have a lit of compassion. It is too better she never got to live up to het potential. ” Grainger said.
“She would not amounted to anything I am afraid. She would not have been a disappointment. ” Cole said.
“Why is that?” detective Grainger asked. “She failed to see that happiness is the key to success. The bible says that the joy of the Lord is your strength. In Nehemiah the post exilic Israelites are commanded not to mourn. Sadness is evil. In star wars yoda Said fear Leeds to the dark side. I say that any negative emotion Leeds to darkness. “Cole said.
“Sadness Is a part of life.it is unavoidable. If you lose a love one or a loved one is Injured one can’t help but feel sad. It Wil pass. They will move on. ” Grainger said.
“Sadness is evil. Once evil is embraced it takes over. There is no going back. Sadness spreads. Sadness is a satanic plot. It spreads like a cancer. I hate sadness. ” Cole said.
Both detectives are sure that they had the guy. He was the killer. ” we think that Kathy ‘s killer has edorhers. He targets unhappy people. ” corigon said.
“Well I can’t condone murder. I do understand it. Sadness changes people. It only makes things worse. Life goes on. Only if you let it. Kathy was already dead. In a way her murder was a March killing.euthanasia. she was too sad to live up to her potential. She was a zimbi. She was a walking dead. ” Cole said.
” she could have stil lived up to her potential!” Grainger said. “No it was too late. She went too far. She fell victim to sadness. Sadness is evil. ” Cole said.
They got Cole to confess. They excicuted a search Warner. They found the gun the scope. The evidence mounted. While his lawyers threw ever constitutional objection they could think of. It did not work. Cole was convicted and sentenced to die by lethal injection.
The end.
Originally Grainger was suposedy to be the smart gut with the theory.as the story developed corigon became more dominant.
I wanted to do a serial killer story without excessive blood and Gore. I wanted It more physiological then violent .
Usualy in crime dramas like criminal minds the killer has a stressor. Some event I. His life that triggered the events.I decided not to go in that direction. I avoided the stressor.