End of sorrow part 8

Previously on end of sorrow

Andrew lost his fiancée in a car accident just weeks before the wedding was about to occur.  

Though andrew knew that liane is with the lord he took it hard. He shut down.  He gave up his goals of starting new churches. He was still involved in his local church. His heart was not in it sny more. He did the bear minimum of ministry. 

He relationship with the Lord was stagnent at best. A young lady named abby move next to him.  They went from acquaintance to friends. 

She forced him to come out of her shell and hiw lethargy.  At first he fought it tooth and nail. He realized that he could loose abby. He decided that he did not want that.

They had a heart to heart talk. He wants to go slow. He does want to court her. She was agreeable to that. They decided to give it a chance.  

“We should probably call it a night but i am really glad we got to talk. ” abby said. “I am too. Have a good night! ” he said. “You too . i love you. “She said. “I love you too.” he said.

He made sure that she got inside before he went inside. He went inside his place. He called his mom.

“Hi mom.” he said. “Hey andy. “She said.”abby and i had a long talk tonight.  We are going to give a relationship a try. ” he said.

“Are you good with this? ” she asked.”i am good with it. I really like her. I just never imagined that i could be involved with someone other then liane. It is going to take a while to get use to it. ” he said. 

“You told abby that?” his mom asked. “I did. She is open to going slow. She just wants a commitment.  I am ready for that. I am at a point where i can commit to abby. ” he told her.

“Good. I am glad to hear that.  Keep talking. Be open and honest with her. Be honest with yourself. Commitment is a one time thing and an ongoing thing. It is what the bible would call an on going decision with ongoing consequences.  It is one big decisions folowed up by little ones. If you pursue abby you must persue her to the exclusion of everyone else.  That includes liane. ” his mom said.

He knew that his mom was right. It was still hard. He tried to do that. He wanted to be a one woman man. He knew that if he really wanted to be with abby. He knew if he was going to be with abby, he had to be with abby.

He knew that he could always count on his mom to tell him what he needed to hear. He knew that she would tell him what he wanted to hear even when he did not want to hear it. He often sought his mom out because he knew that she would be candid. He thanked the lord for both his parent’s and there wisdom.

He went to his living room. He had a picture of him and liane.  He looked at the picture. He took it and put the picture of them in a box. He took all the pictures he had in a box. He put it in a cubbyhole. He closed it. He took a breath.

The next day he left his place. He got in his car. He decided to take a deter before he went for to his job. He stoped at the home of clark ans jacky.

 He went out back and saw clark near his garage.  “Andrew it has been a long time sense you have stopped by. ” clark said. “I know it. I practically lived hear did i not?” he asked.

“Jacky and i wondered if liane stil lived hear. I gues it is a matter of perspective.  ” clark said.  “Probably.  ” he said.

“We miss seing you hear. We understand why. ” clark said. “There are a lot Of memories hear.  ” he remarked. “You two were attached to the hip. ” clark said.  “Indeed we were. ” he said. 

“Look sir. I wanted to talk to you in private. The young lady at the picnic.  We are going to try to date. I am sorry you had to see us together before i had a time to talk to you personally.  It was kind of last minute. ” he told her. 

“I am glad you came to see me. Look andy i know you loved liane. I have no doubt of how much lee ment to you.  Jacky and i talked about it. We both feel the same way. Liane would have wanted you to move on with your life. You are young. You have mourned enough.  There is a time to mourn. That time has passed. It will be hard to see you with someone else. It was bound to happen. I dont begrudge you for wanting to move on. There is no hard feelings. ” clark said.

“Thank you i really appreciate that. It means alot. ” he told him. “The lord has his hand on you. I am sure of that. He will use you. I believe that strongly. ” clark said.

This was a very hard visit.  He felt he had to do it. He went to his car. He changed his profile picture om facebook. It had been a picture of him taken at his parents house.he lookef at pictures of him. He found one of himself and abby. It was taken at the concert. He made it to the profile picture.

Then he sent abby a relationship request. He hit send. He headed to his work place. 

Abby was glad that they had talked. She felt that they had gotten somewhere. She was not sure if this was a big step or a smal step.  She was willing to take either. 

She heard a ping on her phone. She saw a face book update.  She clicked on it. It was a relationship request from andy. It had been said that a relationship was not oficial until it was on facebook. She saw that he had changed his profile pic. He was sending her a mmessage . He was serious.  

She cried a bit. She tended to get emotional.  She was a bit of a softie. She loved him. She knew that she did. She hit accept.

She looked though her pics. She had several pics of them. There was a pic of them at his church during there picnic. She put that as her profile pic.

She texted him. “I love i love i love you i love you!”. She sent it. He saw the text before he clocked in. He texted her back.  “I love you sweet heart.” he told her.

Work had gone well. He was happy when the day was over. He was happy that the day went fast. He had had a good day. Work had gone well. He had headed out . he had clocked out. He headed to the car. 

He opened the car door. He checked his phone. He was suprised that there were no messages from abby. He checked his Facebook.  Everyone from immediate to take extended family to friends, school mates ,church people etc. He was excited to see the messages.  Everyone was excited by there news.

He drove to his place. He parked. Her car was gone. He was suprised.  He left the car. He went inside the house. He decided to call her. 

” hi there!  I lost tract of time. I am heading back to my apartment.  ” she said.  After a few seconds he saw her car pull in. ” come on.”she said. ” where are we going?” he asked. ” we are going out for dinner to celebrate our relationship.  I thought we go to the spot of our first date. ” he said.

“Should i change? ” he asked. “No you look fine. Come on.” she said.he chuckled.  He got in. Off they went.  

End of part 8

Next up 

Abby and andy go out on a date to celebrate there new relationship.  

End of sorrow part seven 

Previously on end of sorrow 

 Andrew lost his fiancée just before they were to be maried. A year later he met a penticostal girl named abby.she became his neighbor. She was interested in him romantically.  She did all she could to pesure him. He did not seem to be interested.  He tended to go back and forth.

His mom warned him not to go back and forth. She told him to be in it or not. She instructed him not to be in between.  She decided that she had to talk to her. 

He sat on his steps for a bit. He tried to short things out. He was ready to talk to her at least he thought he was.

He took out his phone.  He texted her. “Hey abby can you come out to the steps? ” he asked in the text.

They both had the rule that they would never be alone together until or unless they were maried. They haf never been inside the other’s apartment. They did not hang out on each other’s steps.  

The door opened.   Abby came out. She wore a blue shirt and jeens. She was wearing flip flops. She smiled at him.he smiled back.  “You summoned me? ” she said in a playfull tone.

She sat down next to him. “I wanted to talk to you. ” he said.”whats up?”she asked.  “My mom is woried i am sending you mixed singles.  She says if i keep hesitating, some penticostal guy is going to scoop you up. “Andrew said. 

” that is not going to happen andy. I would not let that happen. ” she assured him. “Its not fair. I dont want to hurt you. I do care about you. I dont want to see you hurt.” he told her.

“I know that. I know this is hard.  “Abby said.  ” in many ways liane and i dated sence we were little kids. I realy believed us getting maried was part of his plan. It made sense.  Everything seemed to be building towards that . that was no reason to not head in that direction.  Then in a split seccond,  it all changed. She is gone. My life my ministry it was all intertwined with her. I thought that was how it should be. Now nothing makes sense. I am lost.” he said. 

” i am not unsympathetic.  I would feel the same way.  To invest tbat much in someone else. ” she said. 

“I dont know where to go now. I dont know how to think or feel. I am not angery with God. I just dont get it. When liane died i figured i would be single the rest of my life. I had no desire to be with anyone. I had no desire for romance. Over time i became content to remain that way. ” he said.  

“Is that what you want ?” she asked. “I dont know. I did not think of it that way. I am not sure i have it in me to comit to someone. I am not sure i can be vanerable again.  I am not sure i am ready to love again. I dont know if i ever will. It is hard for me to let my gaurd down.  To embrace you. To even let you in. I find that dificult.i do care about you. I love spending time with you.   I love having you in my life. I gues i am sending you mixed signals.  I am truly sory for that. The last thing i want is to hurt you. Your so sweet!” he said. 

She smiled. She rested her head on his shoulders.  ” i know that.  I know you care about me. I know this is hard for you. I can’t begin to know all the things you have felt. The internal strugles. The not wanting to let anyone get to close to you. Are you open to the posibility of an us ?” abby asked. 

 “I am open to that possibility.  ” he said.  “I understand that you want to go slow. I ubderstand this is hard.  I know it will take time.  I need some commitment if your part. I need you to comit to us even if it is sometime In The future. I need stability secuity. I know we are not goung to mart tomorrow although it would be nice. I will wait if i know that i am waiting for something real. If there is something to wait for.  I cant wait for something that will never happen. If i know we are working towards something.  Something tangible. ” she said.

“Do you see me as your potential husband? “He asked.  “Yes i do. I have liked you sense that first day when i moved in. I would hornored to be your wife. “She said.

“I like you abby.i really do.i am afraid to open up again.  I am afraid to let my gaurd down.” he said. ” we are not in control.  Any control we believe we have is an ilisuon. We dont control anything. We dont sit in the drivers seat. We are not promised another second of breath.  What is our life is it even a vapor? Our times are in his hands.  I dont have a clue what the future holds. Im ok with that. I have never been on control not totaly.  I chose to rely in the one who is. Whatever happens. Though he slay me yet will i trust in him. This is not you. You are not living your existing. I have seen the real you. You cant keep your gourd up foever.” she said.  

“I know that. I know i am not in control.  I am ok with it. It is dificult. Do you want to mary me someday?” he asked.  “Yes i do. I think we will make a great couple. I want you to get back on tract. We will start a church as you wanted to. I will be a pastors wife. We will have kids. We will serve the lord together . are you open to us marrying eachorher? ” he asked. “Yes i am open to that. ” he said.  

“Look im not liane. I will never be her.  I cant be. I have a different personality.  Different background life experience.  I am a different person. I am far from a perfect person.  I have a lot of love to give. I have been told i have the gift of encouragement.  I would love to be able to be an encouragement to you. I think we will make a great team. ” she said. 

“You do really care about me?” he asked.”i do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  I am committed to that. I want that. We can take it slow.i just want you to commit to me. Commit to mariege in the future.  Even if it is much later.  As i said i l would marry you tomorrow but i am willing to wait as long as i am waiting for something. I am wiling to go on your pace. ” she told him. 

“I know your not liane. I dont want you to be her. I do like you. I love who you are. Your funy silly at times. I love your bubly attitude. I love the thought of spending the rest of my life with you. I like it alot.”he said. 

” i appreciate your honesty. I know it was hard for you to open up like this.  I want you to be honest with me. I want to get to know you. Keep opening up. You can trust me i will never judge you. “She said.

“I am sorr if i hurt you. I am Sory to send mixed meseges. ” he told her. “I was hurt i wont lie. I was discoureged. I need you to let me in. I need you to try. I need you to give me a chance. Give us a chance. I want to see you working at this. “She said. 

“I hate the thought of you with someone else.  ” he said. “I hate that too. I dont want to be someone else. I want to be with you. I am not going anywhere as long as you dont push me away.  Lets work on this together. ” she said. 

“Ok. I do want to go slow but at the same time i want to move froward. Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked. “Yes i will. ” she said. He smiled. He hugged her. She held on to him. Neither one wanted to let the other go. 

End of part 7. 

End of sorrow part six

Andrew lost his fiancé two years ago. He was still not over her. Then he got a new neighbor.  A bubbly outgoing penticoastal girl named abby. Abby is determined to bringing andrew out if his doldrums.  It was proving harder then she anticipated. 

For a time she decided to back off. She gave him some space.  She invited herself to a picnic at his church. Now they were headed to her church for the saterday evening church. 

“I am not going to melt or spontaneously combust am i?” andrew asked. “You never know. There is this weird stain in the lobby.  No on wants to talk about it!” she said. “Funny! ” he said. “You will be fine. ” she assured him. 

He parked the car. They excited the car. At some point in the walk up they started to hold hands. It was unclear who inciated it. Abby realized they were holding hands again. She decided to conduct an experiment.  She took her hand out of his. He took her hand back.her heart started to pound. He smiled at her in a way she had never seen him smile before. 

He held the door for her. A couple friends came up to them. ” so you really excist!” her friend james remarked. “Was my existence in question? ” he asked. They laughed.”a little. ” april said.   He laughed.  “I do exist! ” he said. They laughed.

They walked in. They sat down. Abby was getting woried. Everytime they had a breakthough he withdrew. She was not sure he was really ready to fully embrace her. He had gotten swept up into the moment. She feared he would panic and withdraw again. She was nervous.

Mayby this was a bad idea.mayby she had gotten swept up in the moment. She had to stop herself from panicking.  

“You got qiet all of a sudden. You ok?” he asked.  “Yea im fine. ” she said. “Just making sure.  ” he said. 

During the worship time abby sang and danced and raised her hands. Every once in a while she whispered to him asking him how he was doing. He said he was fine. He laughed. 

After the service they mingled quite a bit. Eventually they made it to the parking lot. They went to the car.”what did you think?” she asked. “The preaching was good. Not quite as good as my pastor but it was  good. ” he said.

They went to the car. They got into the vehicle.  “I am really glad you came! ” she said smiling. “I am glad i did too. ” he told her. The car headed to there street. 

They talked for a bit on the steps.”i had a good day with you!” he told her. “I had a good day with you. ” she said.  They said there goodbyes. She went inside. 

She felt anxious.  She did have a good day. It was amazing.  She feared that he really was not ready.the shadow of liane lingered. Mayby she should just walk away. She did not want to. 

 She was falling in love with him. He was who she wanted to be with for the rest of her life.  He might never be there.  Liane had become larger then life. She started to take on Mythological proportion.  Abby could not hope to compete with a legend. 

She started to cry. She had no idea what to do. She believed that the lord was bringing them together. It made sense. She hoped That he could move on. This was harder then she ever could have imagined. 

Later that week, andrew got a phone call. “Hi mom!” he said. “Andrew i wanted to talk to you about something! ” she said. “Oh?” he said.

“Abbygail really likes you. ” his mom said.”i know she does. I think the world of her. She is a spitfire but she is a sweetheart.  ” he said. “Andrew. I dont think you understand. ” she said. “What do you meen?” he said.

“She really likes you. I think she thinks that you and her might have a future togerher. A lasting one. “She said. “I see. Are you sure?” he asked. “Yes i am.” she said.

“Did she tell you that?” he asked. “No. She did not have to. Look i know liane’s death was hard on you. It breaks my heart that you have to go though this. You have had to deal with things no one should have to at your age. Abby has feelings too. Do not hurt that girl andrew! If you cant give her your heart or you dont want her, tell her.  Saver all ties now. She wont like it but she will get over it. Do not string her along. Dont make her wait foever for you if you cant commit. Do not do it! ” she admonished him. 

“You think im stringing her along?” andy asked. “Not intentionally  but that is the result never the less. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. “She told him. ” i know that.  ” he said. “Do not hurt her.either be in it or be out. Do not try to ride the fence. ” she said.

“You think that is what i am doing?” he asked.  “I do. I know why but its not fair to her. “She said “i had not thought of it in these terms.” he said.

“Your under the impreson that she will wait for you forever but she may not. Some penticostal may scoop her up. She wont wait foever. She may want to and plan to. If you keep rebuffing her and someone else comes in. She still go with him. She just will.if you keep on this road you will lose her. You will. I gurente it. I would really think about this. I would decide now. She wont wait not foever. ” she said. 

He knew she was right . he had not condidered any of it. He did not consider her leaving him and moving on to be a real posibility. His moms words were like a splash of cold watter on his face while sleeping. He did not know what to do. Could he say goodbye to her foever? Could he fully embrace her.he just did not know. 

End of part six. 

Next up 

Andy sits down with abby for a heart to heart.  

The wedding party part two 

Mat and amber always had a complex relationship.  Tracy had been sheltered.  When she started her first job,she was a fish out of water.  She felt out of place. Amber had been a breath of fresh air. Amber was not quite as sheltered but still tried to not be off the world. 

Amber tried to befriend tracy right away. She started to talk to her right away. Tracy was shy. Amber brought her out if her shell. 

At first,Tracy’s family was concerned about her being friends with a penticoastal. Tracy was not quite as separated as they were. They were concerned about what kind if influence she would have on there little girl. They invited her to supper. It was kind of a fact finding misson. 

Matt was opposed to even giving amber a chance.he dreaded the whole thing.  He had done extensive reserch on the charusnaric movement.  He was very opposed to anything to do with. He wanted his parents to just forbid tracy from associating with amber and be done with it. He trusted his  parent’s and decided to give her a chance  as they requested.  

Amber hit it off with there parents. Thet found her to be very polite. She showed evidence of speituel gowth. She was mature and responsible. 

Matt did not approve of her. He disliked the influence of penticostalism in the church. The charismatic movement waa beginning to creep into the i.v.b. he did not want to like amber. 

He tended to be standoifish to her.he usually greated her but that was about it. She became a frequent guest. After a while she became almost a member of the family. 

He tried to get his parent’s to have an amber free night once a week. They would not go for that. They really liked her. They liked the influence she had on tracy.

Mat and amber bately talked.even small talk was rare.  She had connected with everyone in the family except for Matt.  

“Matthew, you are traning to be a pastor. You appear to have that caling in your life. As a pastor you must have the heart of compassion. A pastor cannot show partially or play favorites. Amber is a sweet young lady. She has earned our trust. She has been a good friend to trace. I think that you should be nicer to her. ” his dad told her. 

Mat decided to put his objections aside. He wanted to honor his parents and there wishes. “You dont like me do you? “Amber once asked him. 

“You seam like a nice person.  I am certain you are a blood brought believer.  I am concerned about you hanging around tracy. I am woried that you could lead her away from the i.f.b.” he told her. 

“Your woried that i will try to turn her into a penticoastal?  “Amber asked. “I think you might influence her perhaps inadvertently.  “He answered.

“I respect your sister. I have no intention of trying to change your views. I reached out to a fellow belever. I realy like your family. I do not understand your antagonism.  “She said.

“I am alarmed by the spreading influence of penticostalism.  I believe we have to seperate from error. I believe penticoastalsm promotes error. “He said.

“You dont sugar coat things do you? “She asked. “With something like this never. ” he answered.”i dont want to turn teacy into a penticoastal.  She was lonely and isolated. I reached out. It is nice to talk to someone who does not sware every twenty seconds. I never thought your perents would adopt me.. I am glad they have.  ” she said. 

“My parents like you. I gues if they are ok with your friendship with trace i should be too. ” he said. 

“Can we agree to a cease fire? ” she asked. ” ok!” he answered. ” peace! ” she asked. She extended her hand and he shock it. 

They tried to be cordial.  He tried to at least be at peace with her. He slowly softened his stance towards her. Over time they went from barely speaking to eachother to becoming friends. She even made birthday cake for him. 

Tracy went off to a independent fundamental Baptist college. Anber went to a penticoastal colege. When amber came home there parents incisted she visited.  They kept in touch. Though she was disdent in geography she had a place in there heart.  Though he was reluctant to admit it she had a place in his heart.  He had a place in hers. 

She came though for the family when they needed her the most.  When there father died she stoped everything and flew to be with them.she did everything from make meals to just siting with them. They never forgot all she did.  

Matt was not someone who wore his heart on his sleeve.  He could be stoic. When she aeived back in town after his farther died,she hugged hin. He fully embraced her. After that,he no longer considered amber Tracy’s friend but his friend. They kept in touch after that.  He talked to her more then tracy had. 

“You have been missed!” he told her at dinner. He ment to conveigh the idea that she was missed by the family. She saw in his eyes that he missed her. 

She told him that she missed all of them. She knew that he understood that she missed him the most.  “Things have not been the same without yoy. Quiter but not the same!” he said.  “I will try not to be too loud. I dont want you to get sick of me. ” she told him. “I never get sick of you “he said. 

He did not realize right away that he had said it out load. He had not planned to say it audibly or had he.”i can get prety loud. Do you mean that?” she asked. 

“No anount of loudness will change how i feel about it. Dont push it though?” he said.she chuckled. “I wont. “She answered. 

“So how are you doing with all this?”she asked. “I am ok!”he answered. “How are you really?” she asked. “Slightly less then ok. There are constent reminders that dad is not with us.  He would be so excited. He would make so Manny jokes. He would probably tell steve he should have eloped.  He would forbid elsa and gracie from ever getting maried. Not a minute goes by that i dont think about him. Its hard to see tracy growing up. I am suposed to keep eveeything together. It weighs on me. ” he said. 

“Hey! You dont have to have it together with me. Condider me your emotional suport system.  I meen that. ” she said. “Thank you. I realy appreciate that. ” he said. “Please utilize me. “She pleaded with him. “I will!” he said. “Good!” she said.

After a while,they decided that it was time to head on. She was about to pay her part of the bill when he stoped her. “I got this!”he said.”are you sure?i should be paying for your meal. Your the one that has to put up with me for two houers. “She said.

“I had not considered that. ” he said.”your not going to sing are you?” he asked. “You dont like my singing? “She asked. “Your a fine singer. ” he said. “I might posibly sing and i might raise my hand.  “She said. “Woa! Wait a minute i draw the line at hand rasing. “He said. “Good luck with that. ” she said. 

He paid the bill. “Thank you. “She said. “No problem.  I am happy to do it. ” he told her. “You do know that this is going to be the longest two houers of your life. “She said.”i had a feeling that that was the case.” he said. 

He got the recept. They got up to leave. They went to the door and excited the restaurant.  He held the door for her. She thanked him. They walked to the car.

On the way home, she did sing along to the radio. He tried to not let it brother him. “How are you doing? “She asked. “Im ok. ” he said. “Just making sure. “She said in response. 

“Its good to see you. You drive me crazzy but i am glad to see you. I missed you. ” he told her. “I missed you. I am glad to see you. I enjoy driving you crazy. I dont intend to stop any time soon. ” she said.

“At least i know where you stand. “He said.”someone has to keep you on your toes. “She said. ” is that so?” he asked.  “It is” she said.”your very qalified for tour task. “He told her. He poked him lightly. They laughed. 

As the car drove back to the hometown,matt looked over at her.he smiled at her and she smiled back at him. She loved the way he looked at her. 

Despite her musical taste he realy enjoyed being with her. She loved talking to him. She wondered if he felt the same way she did about being with him.she was curious but not enough to ask. She was not sure he wanted to know. 

The car arived at the town. He drove to his mom’s house.  This was his childhood home.  “Thank you for picking me up. ” she told him. “I really was happy to do it.” he reaplied. “Its so good to see you. ” she said. “It is also good to see you.” he said. 

He parked the car in the driveway. In a way amber was a part of the family,his family. It was hard for him to admit it acept in his thoughts.  He knew how he felt.he was so glad that he was back. He knew that it would only be for a short time. He would enjoy her presence as long as she was hear. 

She was hear. He would savor the time she was hear. He would enjoy her time hear. He would not think about her leaving again.  

To be continued.  

The wedding party

Mat’s sister tracy was getting married.  There dad died a few years earlier. The job of giving away the bride fell to matt. It was hard for everyone in the family. There dad had been larger then life. His absence was felt. They were independent fundamental Baptist and they were confident that he was in the presence of the lord. The upcoming wedding made his absence felt even more. 

Everyone was excited for tracy. Mat felt that it was his responsibility to make sure that the wedding was everything she dreamed it to be. He felt that he was his dad’s stand in. He took that duty very seriously. He wanted tracy to have a wedding she would never forget.  

Matt had attended an independent baptist church. When his farther died unexpectedly, he took over the pastoral duties of the church. The church eventually voted him in as pastor. This kept him buisy. 

This week he took week off to get ready for the wedding.  An old pastor would aficiate. 

Friday 

Seven days before the wedding.  

“Hey! Steve wants me to come with her when he takes his parrents and grand parents out for dinner tomorrow.  Can you pick up amber at the airport? “Tracy asked. “Yea sure.  Is she going to be slain in the sprit on the ride back?” he asked. 

“I have no idea. With her you never can tell. ” tracy said. “That i know.  “He answered.  

Amber was tracy’s best friend .they met while they worked at a restaurant one summer. They had it off despite differences.  Tracy was an independent fundamental Baptist and amber was penticostal. She was the only other christian there. They had become close friends. 

Amber had been thriled when tracy asked her to be her maid of honor.  She moved to the west coast for colege. She went to work for the college after she graduated. 

Matt knew amber quite well. She had come over to there house quite frequently.  They had a cordial relationship. He did gril her on doctrinal isues from time to time. When there farther died,she fkew out for the funeral. She cooked meels and took care of the minute stuff. No one in the family would forget her kindness and attention.they made sure she knew how appreciative they were of her. 

“Thank you i really appreciate this.i am trying not to double book myself.it has not always worked out that way. Your a life savior. I will tell amber to be on her best behavior.  No prothetic uterence at least not in an unknown tounge. ” tracy said.”i guess that will have to suffice! ” he said. 

Saterday

6 days before the wedding. 

He drove to the airport.  He had a collection of hyms playing on the radio. He got a little nervous. He felt a little apprehensive.  

He parked and went inside. He saw the passengers arived. He saw her.she wore a pink t shirt with a gray skirt and flip flops. She had his luggage with her. She knew that matt was going to pick her up. 

There eyes met. She smilled at her and he smiled back. “Hi amber its good to see you!” he told her.she gave her a hug. She had no idea why she did that. That was not like her. She stoped and moved away. “Im sorry! “She said. He chuckled.  “Its fine!” he said. 

“So are you in a hury to get back or do you want to stop for lunch?” he asked. “Can we,i am starving. I gotthe cheapest airfare there is. I did not even get a package of penuts. “She said. 

“Yea of course. It will give us time to catch up. “He remarked. “I would like that.  “She answered. “Great!” he said. 

They went to the car. They got into the car. He started the car. “I have a cd in but you can turn on the radio if you want. “He said. “Thank you” she said. She put on the radio. She put on k love. 

“Ccm! I should have known. ” he said. “Yes. You should have. I know your not suportive of k love . you believe the old hymms are the only viable kind of music for the church.  I disagree with you on that.  “She told him. 

“This is a topic we dont agree on. I will let you play iy never the less. “He told her. She laughed. “Ok. I appreciate that. ” she said. 

They went to the restaurant.  “So how do you feel about our miss tracy being all grown up?” she asked. “Weird. Seams like yesterday she was a baby. I am happy for her. Steve is a good guy. He loves the lord and loves her. I have seen the lord working in both there lives. It is a little bitersweet. ” she said. “I figured.”she said.

“I guess it was only a matter of time before she got married and moved out of her own. It is stil hard. I am her big brother. It is my job to worry about her. ” he said. 

“It is a lot of responsibility.  “She said. “I appreciate you recognizing that. I dont mind doing it but it is a lot. I dont take it lightly.  I want to do right by my dad,my mom tracy and the whole family. ” he said.

“Your doing fine. It is all going to come together. It is not going to be a success.  ” she remarked. 

“I hope so. ” he said ” i know it will.it cant be easy with your dad gone!” she remarked. “I miss him.i feel his absence the closer we get to the weading day. ” he answered.  “How is your mom doing with all this? ” she asked. “She has not said anything. I know that it is hard for her. She has the same mixed feelings we all do. ” he said. “Understandable.  “She said.

“I gues dad not being hear is the elephant in the room.  Weare trying to make it special for Tracy.  This is the first lathen wedding.  ” he said.

“Well put me to work. Whatever you need, ask! I am totally at your disposal. ” she said. “You should not tell me that.i might overload you with all the stuff i dont want to do. ” he told her. “You can overload me. I dont mind. I am hear for you. ” she said. She ment to say im hear for your family. Could that have been what she ment to say?

“Thank you.  I really appreciate that.” he told her. “No problem. “She said. “The truth is that i could use a helper. I dont mind being overloaded but i would like to have someone to share the load with. ” he said. She knew that he was not only talking about the work load.she wanted to make sure he knew that she was wiling to share the emotional load as well.  

“I am so glad your hear. ” he said. “Thanks. So how have you been?” she asked. “Extremely buisy but good. The church keeps me buisy. The church is really growing. I am excited by all that is happening. How are you?” he asked. 

“Good. Between the flower shop and and working at the college.  I like the area but i miss my home town and area.  ” she said. “Have you considered moving back? ” he asked. “I love working at the college but yes i could see myself moving back. “She answered.  That answer made him smile. She took notice of that.

To be continued.

End of sorrow part five 

Andrew and leane had been childhood sweethearts.he was a year older then her. Her family attended his church when they were both in jr high. They moved due to her farther’s work. The two hit it off almost immediately.  They were both the smartest people in the church. Everyone suspected that they would be a couple. 

They eventually became a couple.they did ministry together. They seemed to be the perfect couple. Everyone predicated that they would do great things for the lord.  Manny were already writing there story before it happened. 

They went to the same Baptist bible college. They were kind of a pakege deal. They did sumer ministry together as well. Everyone in there home church expected them to get maried. There was no suprise when there engagement was announced.  

Then everyone was shocked when leane was killed in a car crash. It made no sense. Andrew had to put a brave front.  His dream were dashed.the unwritten story would never be written. 

It had all been so clear.he and leane would be maried. They would start churches and serve the lord together. He had stoped. He had put everything on hold. Those in the church let him.they felt it nedded time.  He was still active in the church. He was doing ministry. He felt he was good enough. His heart was not in it like it had been. It was different. He was in a holding paturn now. 

If things continue the way it was,he would continue to do what he had for these two years. He would stil be in the funk. He would be struck.no one might not notice. he looked fine. He seemed normal.  It was a new normal. It was realy not where he should be. He was not where he could be. 

Then abby showed up. The spitfire. She was not one to stand on ceremony.  She said how she felt. She called it like she saw it. She did not mence words. 

She was the daughter of a penticostal minister.  Her family went from a series of churches within the assambly of God. His farther started out as an assistant pastor and moved on to pastoring churches. 

She saw something in andrew almost right away.she came to like him. She wanted to start a romantic relationship but he resisted those overtures. She started to back off.she realized that if he was not in it,there was little point to it.

She was miserable. She saw this image of them together. That concert seemed to be coming together. Then it all came apart. It was a hard few days after that. 

She tried to avoid him. She did mostly. They said hi a couple of times. That was about it. 

On a saterday she saw him getting ready to leave. She changed out of her jeens and put on a skirt. She went over to him. 

“Going somewhere?” abby asked. “Oh yea. Church picnic day. I was hoping to avoid it but it sounds like everyone is going to be there. I gues i am going to go. I used to love to go when leane was around.  It was more her thing but i liked it. Now not so much. “He said.

Abby did not like it when he mentioned her. She understood why he did. She was a big part of his life. That was over. Abby wanted to play that role. She wanted to be mrs.dade. it seemed leane stil ocupied that role in absentia.

“Well have fun!”she said. “I will try.i hope it will go fast.  ” he said.”i am sure that you will have fun. “She said. “We will see. “He said. She left him. She headed inside. She started to open the door to her apartment.  She stoped.

She ran to him. “Wait. Andy!”she said. He put some stuf in the trunk. He closed the trunk.  She went over to him. He stoped what he had been doing.  

“Im going with you. I wish i had planed better. I would have made my chicken salid sandwitch. It is to die for. Mayby some orther time. ” she said. 

“Wait? Your comming?” he asked. “Yes i am. ” she said. He chuckled.”ok!” he said. They got in to the car. 

“Nervous?” abby asked. “A little. I did not know i was bringing a guest.the pictures you posted got quite a reaction. I was pummeled with questions for days. I am not sure what you will do. You are a bit unpredictable! “He said.

“You woried i will spontaneously become slain in the sprit? I will just start speaking in tounges or something? ” she asked. 

“I wasn’t.  Now i am. ” he admitted. She laughed. “I will try to be on my best behavior.  ” she said. “Try?” he asked. ” you know me. I promise i will not to embarrass you too bad. “She said. ” oh my! Ok!”he said. 

He nervously parked the car in the parking area.they got out. Everyone seemed suorised that he brought a friend. ” hi andy. Who is this? “Pastor Jason web asked.

“Pastor web this is abby. Abby this is pastor web. “He said. ” hi welcome . it is good to meet you.”the pastor said. “Thank you. It is good to meet you.” she said.

She helped him unload the truck. The pastors wife came over and introduced herself. “Hi im carla webb. Pastor web’s wife. “She said.”it is good to meet you. ” abby said. 

” we are glad that your hear.”carla said.  “It is good to be hear.”abby said. Everyone was really friendly. Then he saw his parrents and his siblings. It was time to introduce her to his family. He was not sure he was ready for that.

“Is this abby?” his mom asked. “This is! ” abby said. “It is good to finaly meet you. ” his farther said.”i am been looking forward to meeting you as well. ” she told them. 

Then another car pulled up. It was leane’s parrents.he had not considered that they would see him with someone else other then leane . everything happened so fast. One minute he got ready to leave. All of a sudden abby was riding shotgun on his way to church.

He got realy nervous. He got tense. He tried not to look uncomfortable. It was not easy. He tried to act normal. He moved away from there line of sight. 

Abby was enjoying herself. She liked interacting with people from his church. Perhaps one day her church. Usualy she planed everything out. She had a strategy. She had a move and counter moves.not this time. This time she was flying at the seat of her pants.she had acted totally on impulse.  She had no plan.

It happened so fast. All of a sudden she realized that she was in his car on the way to his church. There was no turning back. She was glad to be there. She was glad that she did not have the time to rethink it. 

The dinner was really good. After the men were playing horse shoes.Andrew’s mom went over to her. ” it is good to finaly meet you.i wondered when i would meet you.”mrs. Dade remarked. 

“I wondered the same thing. “Abby said.  “His dad and i really enjoyed looking over the pictures you posted.it was good to see him smile again.it has been a while.” she said. 

“I like his smile. He has a good one. ” she told him. “He does. So are you two an item?” his mom asked.  “Not yet. I would love to be. He is not ready. Well at least he does not think he is ready.  ” she said.

“I am glad you are in his life. He had totaly shut down. We were woried about him.we stil are. We want see him resume life again. “His mom told her. “I am realy glad to be in his life. “Abby said. 

After a while she saw a husband and wife she had not talk to yet. “Hi im abby. ” she said “hi im Clark.  This is my wife jacky. ” he said. “It is good to meet you. ” she said.

“So what bring you hear today? “Jacky asked. “I am a friend of Andrew’s.  I am his neighbor. “She said. ” oh.  What kind of friend?” Clark asked. “Just friends.  ” she said.

Andrew saw them talking to abby. Oh no he thought. He was not sure what to do. He went over to her. ” hi. ” Andrew said.  “We have had a pleasent conversation With this young lady. ” jacky said. 

“She is a nice lady.”andrew said. Abby noticed that andrw was realy tense. She did not know why. After a while they dispersed. 

Later abby asked one of mats sister who clark and jacky were. “Oh! You dont know ” anna said. “Know what?” abby asked. “They are leane’s parrents.” she said.

Abby had no idea.it did not occur to her that she would run into them.she hoped that she did not cause him trouble.her impulsiveness sonetimes got her into trouble. Perhaps she should have thought thus though. 

Later they said goodbye to everyone. They went to the car. ” look i am sorry.  I really did not plan today.   I never ment to cause friction for you. I dont akways think before i act. I enjoy being with you. After the newsboys concert i decided to give you some space. I went on a self imposed exile with you. I hated it. I just acted today.” she told him. 

“Its ok. I am glad you came. They were bound to meat you eventually. I suspected you were on A self imposed exile.  I was not sure what to do. ” he said. 

“Are you really glad i am hear? I was not a nuisance? ” she asked. “No not at all.  Am glad you came!  He said. “So are you sick of me ? Want to come to my church tonight?” she asked. He said ok. 

End of part five. 

End of sorrow part four

Andrew went home that night he felt tense. He felt strage. He felt a thousand different emotion. He went from happy to sad to regret to everything in between. He did not know what to do. He was very divided. 

Could he really move on? Could he forget leane. Did dating abby and mayby even marying her ment that he had to forget leane. He felt like he spent a life time with her. Even though she was gone, he had his memories.  Though he never maried her he felt like he had. If he maried abby, he would have to abandon all of it. Abby would be his wife. He wanted to hold on to his memories of leane. He could not if he maried her.

He was havily divided. He would keep turning in facebook. He kept staring at the pictures of him and abby. He was happy. Even at the Christian rock concert he was happy. He had found memories of that event. He had to turn off the screen. 

He ended up looking at a picture of him and leane. He looled at a photo album of them. It was going to leed into there early days of mariege. Od course that never happened. He felt so sad. He had to give that up as well. 

Abby went to her house. She was so sad. She was in love with him. She had been for a while. She had such a good day. She knew she had pushed so Manny of his buttons.  She realy cared about him. She had no idea what to do now. 

He was afraid to go to church the  next day. He knew he was going to be pummeled with questiones. He figured that he would be asked a milion questions even before he went to the newsboys concert.he would get more questions now. 

He knew that people cared about him. He kept to himself. He did not talk about his feelings but this was the church he had attended sense he was young. They watched him grow up. He wanted to figure this out on his own.

He wanted to figure this out all on his own. He had no idea how to do that. He considered playing hookie. He was teaching an adult high school and there was probably no one who could take over at such short notice. He would go. 

He saw his mom and dad as he went inside.”hi.” he said. “So when do we get to meet abby?” his mom asked.” i am not sure yet. ” he said.”we are looking froward to meeting her. ” his dad told him.

“Well we are just friends.  I am not sure it is going to materialize into anything.  “He said. 

“You dont like her as something more then feiends?”his mom asked.”i dont know. It seams like it is too soon. ” he said. ” we would love to meet her. ” his dad said.

He got a million questiones. From how he met her to does it see it leading to mariege. He did not say much. He dodged as much as he could but answered it a little bit. 

“Andy how was the concert?” pastor davis asked. “Not you too. It was good well the concert not so much.  I enjoyed the conpony. ” he said. 

“You dont to mourn foever. You are young.no one expects you to stay single foever. Its ok to move on. ” the pastor said. “I know that. I envision that one day i will date again. I can even imagine getting maried.  Not now not yet. “He said.

“You only dated leane?”he asked.”yes. I did not plan it that way. Before we knew it we had been a couple basicaly for six years.” he said 

“Are you ok if abby maries someone else? ” he asked.  “I would like to say no but it would brother me. I could probably ajust. ” andrew said. “I would consider that long and hard. ” he said.

He drove home after church.  Of course abby got home at the same time he did. She wore jeens not a skirt.  He did not know if there was any significance to her wardrobe choice. 

“Hello. ” he said “hi andy.did you get a thousand questiones? ” she asked. “And thensome. Did you?”andrew asked. “I did.they arw a bit disturbed that you dont believe in speaking in tounges. They are also disrurbed by your view on eternal secuity. By the way i believe in eternal secuity.” she said. 

“That’s good to know. Otherwise you and i would probably get into a heated debate. ” he told her.  “I could see that. “She said. 

“Well i should be getting inside. “He told her. “Alright. Have a good afternoon.  ” she said.  They went there seperate ways.they went inside there homes. 

He felt prety good most of the day. He loved teaching Sunday school. The sermon in the morning had been very good.  Now he felt agitated. Abby made him feel a thousand different things. 

She loved being with him.when she was with him she did not want to be any where else.now that he was gone she missed him.what was odd was that he was right there.  He was next door. 

She considered texting him.she considered asking him to join her outside. SHe did not do that.she decided that that was not a good idea. She stayed inside.  

She saw him leave for evening service. She waited for him to leave before she got in her car. Then when he was gone she went to her car. She headed off to her church. 

The service went good. He enjoyed the message.  The question about abby persisted.  People wondered when they would get to meet her. He dodged the questions mostly. He was uncomfortable with them but he hid that fact. 

After the service. “So did you talk to abby today?” his mom asked.”briefly. ” he answered.  “Planning any more ccm concerts?”his dad asked. “No i am not. ” he said. Of course he did not plan the last one. “You should bring her to some of our churches function.” she said. “She says she is willing to go. ” he said. “Invite her. Everyone wants to meet her. ” she said. “Perhaps i will. ” he said. 

Abby stayed after church.  She played basketball a bit. She talked to friends in the parking lot. She tried to avoid going home. She wanted to avoid seing him. 

She finaly headed home. She figured he would be long home by now. She just wanted a break. She wanted time to sort all this out. She drove slowly. She was in no hury to get home. She puled in to her drive way. His car was parked. She parked in her spot. 

She got out of the car. She walked to her apartment.  She got inside. She thought to herself that she had made it. She realized how silly she was. 

She was not sure how to proceed.  She really liked him. She wanted to one day marry him. He was clearly not interested right now. She was not sure if he would ever be. She was prety sure that he did not think that he would ever be ready.  She just wanted some time apart from him. 

Right now it looked like nothing was going to happen between those two. Things often changed. Perhaps it would hear. Time would tell. 

End of part four.