Panic attack part 16

Previously on picnic attack.

Jack and kristin breiefly broke up.after some time apart,they decided to get back together.  

Despite there previus dificulties,things had started to go well for them. They were starting to figure out how to relate to each other. Things were shaping up for them.

They began to really get to know each orther. They started to move beyound the superficial. At the same time they began to unite spritually.  They did devotions together. They prayed together. They became very close. 

She started to trust him more and more. She started to confide in her more and more. She opened up. She let go of her fears. She allowed herself to be vanerable around him. She gave up a lot of her insicurity and bariers that kept him out. 

Everyone one noticed that they were verry Different from before.  They were very sweet together.  People at church liked watching them. 

 They had a lot of fans. Not everyone was quite as happy about it. Kristin’s mom strugled with it.  She loved all of her daughters.  She lost her husband but The lord spared kristin.  She hated watching her in a coma then strugling to relearn everything. She woried about her. She wanted to protect her. She did not meen to but sometimes took it too far.

It was not just because of all she went though. It was hard to see grow upm it was hard to see her go on her own.the closer she got to jack,  the more she feared she no longer needed her. She wanted kristin to turn to her. That was just not hapening as much any more.

She did not want to admit it but she was a bit releved when kristin ams jack broke up. She knew some day ,she would go off on her own. Mayby her mom would get more time time with kristin.  

Then they got back together. Now there bound was even stronger.  She began to see that this relationship might last longer then she expected. She was happy for her but it was still hard. 

Kristin was growing up. She waa getting ready to go out on her own. It was how it was to be. She was changing.  

Ktistin’s cell phone rang. She answered the phone. “Hi. ” she said. “Hello krissy.Tomorrow marks our one mounth anniversary.  ” he said. “Are you one of those who wants to commemorate every milestone including the first time one of us sneezed in front of the orther?” kristin asked.

“Well Mayby not every milestone!  This is a big one. I was wondering if you wanted to go out to eat with me. It ocured to me our dates were usually at one of our houses but we have never gone out. I thought we could go out to celebrate just you and me. ” he suggested. 

“It is a date date?” she commented. “There is no reason we did not do it erlier. I just did not think of it. ” he said.

“I love it. I love that idea. ” she said.  “How about thirsday night?” he suggested.  “Thats a great idea. I can go for that. ” she responded. “Awsome.can i pick you up at 4:00?” he asked.  “Sounds really good.” she said. 

“I cant wait to see you. I am realy excited for this!” she said. “I am too. I think this will be good. ” he said. “I think so too.” she said. 

“So your going out today?” her mom asked. “Yes. We are going to celebrate our mounth anniversary.  “She said.

“Do you think mayby you two are spending too much time together?  “Her mom asked.  “I had not really thought about that. It is. Spceical occasion.  “Kristin said.

“You two might be moving too fast. This is your first relationship sense the accident. I just think you two should slow down a bit. ” her mom said.

“We dont spend that much together.  We both keep prety buisy. We enjoy each others compony. ” kristin said 

“I know. I am just concerned that you are setting yourself up for a fall. I am not sure he totaly understands what he is getting into. I am not sure you understand all that goes on with you.” she said.

“I know that. I am sure i do not totaly understand all that goes on. I really like him. Every day i realize just how much. I understand what yoir saying.i know we both have to be careful.i think i am ready for a relationship. “She told him. 

“I just dont know kris. I thought you were. You may not be and thats ok. “She said. “Do you think i should not see him?” kristin asked. “No but you might want to pull back a bit. Take a step back. That is all i am saying.” her mom said. 

“Mom. I understand what you are syaing. I really do but when i am with him i feel like i am me again. Not tottaly. I dont know of i can ever be that person i was before the crash. I like being with him. I know he feels the same way. ” she said. 

“Just be carefull ok?” diane said.”i will mom. ” she said. Diane chuckled. “Ok!”she said. She gave her mom a hug. 

She spent quite a while getting ready. She put on a pink sweter and white and pink skirt. She braided her hair.  She was excited for this. She suspected he was well. 

He was always early. It was usualy a few minutes earley. She had learned that fairly early on in there relationship.  Sure enough there he was. 

She walked outside and walked down the stairs. She got into the pasinger seat. He smiled at her. He wore a polo shirt and tan pants. She smiled back.  “I got you flowers. “He said. “Those are beutifull thank you. ” she said. 

They went to a resturant. They were seated. ” you know i have never been on a date like this. “She said. “No i have not either. “Jack said. “Did you date at all in high school?”she asked.”no i was home schooled. I did not know manny girls my age. I imagine that i would have not been alowed to date but it never came up as an issue. “He said.

“I had a couple of boyfreinds but nothing too serious.  At the time i thought it was. “She said. He chuckled.

“Were you boy crazy in high school?” he asked in a playfull tone. “Perhaps a bitt. ” she admitted. ” i see. ” he said. “I am not anymore.  Except for one guy. ” she said. 

“That’s me right not lester cole?” he asked. “Yes silly. Thats you. ” she said.”good. I am just making sure.” he said. 

“So. When we got back together, you talked abour marriage as if it was a fata complee. Is that how you fell? Do you see us getting married lord wiling?” she asked.

“I do. I beleve the lord has brought us together.  Until we say i do, i gues i cannot be totaly sure. I am fairly confident yes. Do you feel the same way?” he asked. 

“I do. I very much do.i have fun with you. Its more then that.  I like being around you. I feel safe around you. ” she said.

“I am very glad to hear that. That is what i want.  I very much want you to feel safe. ” he said. ” i know that. I have never doubted that. ” she told him. 

After dinner they went for a drive.”look jack, i cant promise you that the way i am will change. I might always be this way. I might get worse. ” she said.

“I may not be prepared for that. I know i might not be. I am ready to commit to you no matter what. “He told her.

“I just wanted to make sure you did it. It is not going to be easy. ” she told her.”the importent things never are.i know that this may be harder then either of us can posibly understand. I beleve that you are worth it. I know you are. ” he said. 

She smiled.  “Ok. “She said. He smilled at her. He had a different smile just for her. She was sure he knew that but she knew he did. She loved it. 

They  went to het spot for a while. “Do you feel that we are moving too fast?” she asked. “I dont know. Do you feel we are?” he asked. “My mom is concerned that we might be.”she said.”i have never done this before. I dont have anything to base it on. My parents were part of a prayer group at college.  They ended up spending more time together. They hung out for a couple mounths before they got together officially.  ” he said.

“My dad was my mom’s tax guy. My mom asked her parents who to use for a tax perperer. They recomended my dad..two years later they were maried. ” she said. “Wow. My moms mom went to the misson field beleving she would be single all her life.  She actually told my grandfather she thought she would go unmaried. My grandfarther told her he was prety sure would be maried. He perposed a year later. ” he said.

“I gues there are no rulles.” she said. “Look krissy if you want some time to yourself thats fine. I would ask that we keep the lines of communication open. ” he told her. 

“Ok. I dont feel we need to take that step just yet. I never want to not have lines of cominication. I agree.  “She said.”i really do want to marry you. I hope the lord does permit that. ” he said.”i do too.” she said. 

They drove to there favorate spot then he brought her home. “I had a really good time tonight!” she told him. He smiled. “I did too. ” he said.

He hugged her. She held on to him for a minute. She kissed him on the forehead. They said there goodbyes.she went inside. 

She realized that day how much she carred about him.she was starting to realize just how much she did care about him. 

End of part six

Next up

Things go well for kristin and jack. Then kristin is put  stronger medication. That provides some complications. 

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End of sorrow part 12

Previously on end of sorrow. 

Abby and Andrew have had a long dificult road. Andrew lost his fiancée a few years back. Abby reached out to him. The two became friends. They eventualy decided to date. It has been a dificult courtship.  

Andrew has never been able to let go of leah. Abby has tried to be patient. It would not be easy. 

Andrew had gone to see Leah’s parrents. He did not ask for permision but did imply it. He did not tell abby. Abby found out after the fact.  It caused some conflict. 

Abby wanted some time to herself. She put on k kove. She sat on the couch thinking for a while.  She was so confused. She really did care about him. She was just weary by the whole thing. 

She wished that he would fully embrace her. He wished he would just leave leane behind. It was time to mobe pass her. He couldn’t.  He would not. He was stuck and so was she. 

He went home feeling weary himself.he regreted what hapened. He ment no ofense. Mayby he had given too much thought to how clark and jacky thought and not enough of what she thought. He did not want to hurt her. He seemed to keep messing up when he came to her. He just could not seem to get it right.

It was gawing at him..intellectually he loved her more then he could describe. He had a terrible time showing it. He knew that.  He was messing up royalty. He could not seem to turn it around.  

He was faling in love with abby. She could not see it. She was right. He was not  being fair to her. He knew that. He knew it he kept things up at the rate he was going, he was about to loose her. He did not want that.  He did care about her. He did want to spend the rest of his life with her. Would he be able to get her to trust him in time? Right now it was not looking good. 

He had trouble getting to sleep that night. He got the feeling he had lost her and just did not know it. Either that or was unwiling to accept it. He finaly did get to sleep.

She cried herself to sleep that night. Why did she have to fall asleep with basically a widower.  If only she had not approached him. She had to be bubly abby. She had to be the friendly neighbor. It hot her hear. In love with someone who could not or would not commit to her.  

He had work quite early that day. He had cofee then headed off. He did not see her before he before he left. That was somewhat intentional. He wanted to give her her space.  

She was glad that he did not contact her. She wanted her space.  Not foever but for a little bit. She did like him. She wanted to be with him but she wanted some time apart. Not alot but a little. 

She showered.  She got ready for her day. There was a knock at her door. She opened it. To her suprise,it was pastor jeff ball and his wife wendy. 

“Hi. Come on in. ” abby said..they went to the couch. They sat down. He vot cofee for them. “We wanted to say hello.we  know your primary church is the penticostal church. You have been comming regularly  on wendsday and sunday night.  We wanted you to know that you are an importent part of the church. I dont want to step on the toes of the leadership at faith penticostal assambly but if you need anything from me or my wife please get in touch with us.”the pastor said.

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. That meens so very much. Everyone at the church has been great. ” she said.

“We are glad to hear that. “Wendy ball said. “Everyone is really glad you have been comming. ” the pastor said. “I have really enjoyed it. It is different from what i am used to but i do like it.” abby said. “Oh good. ” pastor ball said. 

“As i said, we are very glad that you are hear. “He said. “I am glad of that. “She said. “We are really pleased that you and andrew are together. You make a cute couple. “Wendy said.

She smiled. “I think so too. I really like him.”she told them. “We can tell. “The pastor said. “It is nice to see him smiling again. He is slowly beccoming himself again. “Wendy said. 

“I have noticed he is comming out of his shell. I did not know the old him but i have seen a difference. “She said.

“When i took over as pastor, he was a teeneger. We see saw him grow up. He was on the pastoral tract and after leane died,he shut down..he withdrew.  Now he is comming back. “Jeff said. “I can see that. I am glad of that. “Abby said. 

“The lord has always had his hold on his life. I beleved that the lord had a plan for him. It was too bad that he sat on the sidelines as long as he did. He does seem to be back. You might know that i might have to take a few mounths off. He might take over for me for a while. ” pastor ball said.

“He mentoned that. ” she said. “I hope he does go into the pastorate. I am doing all i can to encourage that. ” the pastor said. “As am i.” she said. 

“So. Do you think that you two might consider marriage in the furure?” wendy ball asked. “We have not seriously talked about it yet. We have discused it in general terms. I am definently supportive of that.  I would like to see us get maried one day. “She told them. 

“We would like to see that as well. ” pastor ball said. She smiled. Abby found everyone at the church to be very friendly. She and wendy ball would become very close. She made several connections with ladies at gospel Baptist church.  Wendy was one of her closest friendships. 

She had a good visit with the balls.she liked both the pastor and his wife. She was really glad that they came by.she was glad to visit them without andrew. She was glad to have some one on one time with them. 

She knew that she was becoming intertwined with andrew. She wanted that. She was having doubts.  She did not know how to handle it. 

She could not totaly blame andrew. Losing a loved one was devisating. He behaved like most would.  It was time to move on. She was growing weary. She was not sure that she could stick with this. She did want to. 

He got home from work in late afternoon. Her car was gone. He assumed she was at the flower shop. He was not sure what her schedule was for the day.  

He went inside. He was glad to be home. He had dinner. He had a good day at work but was glad to be home.he decided to go to the room he used as an office. He looked though some old surmons. He wanted to get some ideas. He was not one to repeat old surmons. He was hoping to het his juices flowing. 

He saw a surmon he never preached. He was suposed to preach the sunday morning that ended up being two days after leane died. Pastor ball ended up preaching that sunday instead. He was suposed to cabidate for a pastorate two sundays later. He cancelled that service and witndrew from consdieration. He had foregottem all of that.  He started having a panic attack.  So he put the message back in the file cabinent and closed the lid. 

He saw abby pul in. He ran outside. He hugged her. She saw him shaking. She grabbed on to him. 

They went over to the porch. They sat down on a swing on the porch. “I was looking at old surmons.  Trying to get some inspiration. I forgot that the sunday after ,well you know, i was suposed to preach. I could not do it. I had totaly forgotten about that. I found the surmon i was going to preach. It brought everything back. There is more.  I was suposed to canidate at a church two weeks after. I withdrew from consideration.  I shut down abb. I did use my greef as a cruch. I was in a funk.  I did not realize. ” he said. 

She put her arm around him. She rubbed his back. “Its going to be ok. You will get though this. ” she said. “I know.  It all hit me. ” he said. “It was bound to. ” she said. 

“I am ok now. It just really got to me.”he said.”its understandable babe. I love you so much. I am hear for her. I am not going anywhere i promise. “She said. 

Pastor ball decided to go with his wife to care for his mother in  Law. It was decided that he would leave in three weeks. That would give him time to prepare.

 “Look abby. I am very sory about not putting you first. I have alotof work to do.”he admitted.  “I forgive you. Thank you for comming to me the other day. I want to be there for you.  While your subing for.pastor ball. I am hear for you. I will pray for you not in tounges! Whatever you need ak. If yoi dont i will kick your but” she said.They laughed.he said ok. 

End of part 12.

Next up

Andrew geta ready to aub for pastor ball..andrew and abby grow closer together.  

Panic attack part 14 

Priviously on panic attack

Jack a bible colege graduate  and assistant pastor meets kristin. Kristin had been in a savere car accident. She sufers from emotional bagege connected to it. The two decided to date. With the dicovery that she is on addictive medication and under the care of a secular pyschologest. He decided that they should take a break. 

” i think you should leave now” she said. He quickly agreed and said goodnight. He got in his car and drove off.

She sat on the porch for a few minutes. She tried to regain her comportment. She tried to calm down. She knew that her mom and sister would ask questions she perfered not to answer. She went inside.

“Jack did not stay long?”diane remarked. “No he did not. “Was all she said in response. She went to her room. 

She suspected that something was amis. He had not talked to her hardly at all. She had to call him. He did not ask to come by. She had trusted him. He had let her down. That was over now. 

He drove right home.  He went inside. “You ok?”his dad asked. “I told her i wanted a break. I think we might be done done.”he said. “I was afraid that might happen.  She has a lot to sort out. Mayby an independent fundimental Baptist is not the best match for her. ” his dad said. “Perhaps not. ” he said. 

“I know you wanted her to be the one. Mayby it is juat not ment to be.” his dad said. “You could be right. Just because her mom church shops does not meen she will. ” he said.

“Are you having seccond thoughts about all this? ” his dad asked. “No! I realy just wanted a break not a break up. ” he told him. “As i understand it there was a defiance.  ” his dad said. “That was from her mom. Dad i realy like her. Do you want me and her to be done?” he asked. 

“No. I wont tell you to break it off with her. If you two decide to get maried i think i would suport it. You need to really think about this. ” he said. 

 She went upstairs and shut her bed room door. She cried. She tried not to be too loud.she did not want to arouse suspicions. She eas fircely independent.  She wanted to figure this out on her own. 

The next day was saterday. It was odd. A saterday rarely happened without them seinf eachother. They did not see eachother at all that saterday. 

That saterday night she changed her facebook photo from one of her and jack to one of just her. She then changed her face book relationship form in a relationship with jack rayburn to single. She was ready to move on. She wanted to move pass it.

That sunday jack taught sunday school class. Kristin usualy attended his class. She was there. He said helo to everyone.   

At the service they did not sit together. “How come you and miss grener are not sitting together? ” mrs. Sandra canon asked. “Oh! We are no longer a couple.  ” he said. “Oh ! I am sory to hear that. “She said. 
He ran into her after the service.  He could not avoid her. “Hi! Kristin. “He said. “Hi. Jack. ” she said. “How have you been?”he asked. “Fine! You?”she asked. “I am good.”he said. “I am glad to hear that.  ” she said. Then the conversation ended. They dispersed. 

That night jack preached. Kristin loved to hear him preach.  He preached on the blood of christ. He traced the idea of a blood sacrifice from genises to revelation.  

He stood at the back and shock people’s hands ias they left. He came to diane and ashly and shock there hands. Then he  came to Kristin.  ” hello kristin! ” jack said. “Hello” she said. Then she left. 

 Jack did not feel like himself all week. He felt off. He hated this feeling. He decided one night to go for a ride to clear his head. He knew exactly where he would go. He went to the place they had gone. He saw her green jeep. 

He ran to her. “Krissy! Hi”he said. She was crying. “Hey jack!”she said. She hugged him. They held on to eachother. 

“What are you doing hear?”she asked. “I needed to clear my head. I was hoping to see you.”he said. “Why didn’t have you call me?”she asked.”i was afraid you would not answer.  I was not totaly sure i was going to talk to you. “He said.

“Why did you shut me out?”she asked.”i was confused. I beleve that the bible has every answer for life. The bible warns about being taken captive by worldly Philosophy.  Paaul warned timouthy to avoid science falsy so called. We must cling to the word of God. I was afaid that i would have to chose between the lord and i. I needed time to sort this out. I realy wanted a break,not a break up.pastor broaden was concerned that your mom kepts the bible and science seperate. Kind of gestalt.  Like max plank said there is bible and science and never the twain shall meet.”he said.

“When i first woke up, i was in bad shape. I was beyond depressed.  The medical facility recommend i be under the care of dr. Ted. I was under mom’s gaurdienship at the time. She did not know what to do. At this point i cannot go off the drugs. Perhaps tte dosege can be reeuced but not elliminated completly. I do believe that the bible has all the answers for life. If i had been in charge of those decisions i dont know what i would have done.  ” she said.

“When we get maried, i want every devision we make as a family to be evaluated by the word of God. The world and the bible have different agandas. These aganda do often conflict. We have to go with the word of God.  ” he said. 

“Do you realy believe that anti depressants are unbibilical?”she asked. “Christians are empowered by the holy sprit. We are told not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed.  I take isue with drugs that alter behavior. I question its use by belevers. I dont have a definitive answer. ” he said.

“Alright. I understand your concerns.” she said. “I am more concerned by the thought process that led to the decision then the decision itself. Your family grew up in the church. The church seemed to be disregarded. ” he said. 

“Looking back on it,perhaps it was.  That is regrettable.  “She said. “It seemes your family left at the first sign of resistance.  You kept leaving churches that disagreed with you. You run every time there is an issue. You wont let anyone get close to you. ” he said. 

“I know it looks we just up and left redemption Baptist church but that is not the case. The pastor and deacons were relentless. They made the environment toxic. Yea we were a bit shy at new churches. We felt betrayed.  Legit or not i dont know but that is how i feel. ” she said. 

“Are you going to leave gbc?” he asked.  “When we came at first. We were just checking it out. We knew your church was similar to r.b.c but we were runing out of options i gues. So far we like the church. There is this one guy in the church that is kinda cute. ” she said. 

“Kinda cute?” he asked. “Oh i was not talking about you. ” she said in a playful tone. “Oh you werent?” he asked. “I was talking about lester cole!” she said. “He is eighty two. ” he said.  They laughed. 

“You think my first instinct is to run?” she asked. “Sometimes it seems  that way.  I dont understand it. ” he said. “You dont like our arangement?” she asked.  “Why do you want to deal with this alone. Why is it when times are tough your first instinct is to run away from me not to me. I want to be your suport system.  I am ok with your rules but i hope we can get pass it in the future. ” he said. 

“I do trust you. I have come to rely on mom and my sisters.  It is hard to trust anyone outside the iner circle. I did trust rbc. They were great at first. When i started being under dr. Ted, it all changed. I felt betrayed. It is hard to trust anyone not in the iner circle. ” she said. 

“Were you suicidal krisy?” he asked.she put his arm around her. “I dont know. A little mayby. I was so devisated. I had lost the will to live. ” she said. “Now?” he asked. “Not really.  Sometimes. ” she said. 

“Do you want to come to my house and hang out with me for a bit?”he asked. “Am i stil welcomed?” she asked. ” yes.” he said .

Her phone went off. “Hello mom. ” she said. “Are you ok?” her mom asked.”yea i am in my spot. I ran into jack. I am going to hang out with him for a while. ” she said. “Are you two ok?” she asked.”i think so.” she said.  

They walked to there cars. She hugged him for a bit. They got in there cars and headed for his parent’s house.

End of part 14

Next up

Kristen talks to jack’s perents.jack and kristin work out there differences.  

Wedding party part four.

Six days until the wedding.

 Amber decided to visit her home church. She had not been back for a while. She was excited. To see everyone.  Tracy told her she could take the day off but be prepared to work on monday. She assured her that she would.  Tracy laughed. 

Matt got up sunday morning.  He showered then drabk cofee and had a light breakfast. He got ready for church.  He arived at the church and got ready for the service. 

He saw tracy at the church.  “Where is amber?” he asked. “She is at her home church.  She did say that she would come to our church tonight. She said you might want a break form her. ” Tracy said.

He laughed. He wanted to say never but did not. He just said something like “oh ok!” or something along those lines.  

Amber had a good time at her church.she was glad to see everyone. They were glad to see her. She was glad to catch up with old friends.  She enjoyed her life on the west coast working for the college but liked it hear in her home town. It would be hard to go back.  

Aftter church she went back to mrs. Davis’s home. She went inside. “Hello stranger. “Matt said. “Hi Matt.  “She said.”how was your church?”he asked.”it was good. I enjoyed seing everyone. “Amber said.

“So will be coming tonight?”matt said.”i will. I am excited to hear you preach again. ” amber told her. “I am glad your planing on comming. “He told her.

They went into the house. Everyone greated her. Amber helped tracy and his other sisters get lunch ready. Matt talked to steven tracy’s fiancée for a bit. 

They all sat down for dinner.matt liked that amber was there. It felt right.  She was a part of the family. He was glad she was hear. 

Dinner consisted of ham potatoe corn.there was aple pie for desert. After diner, mat went to his place to go over his sermon notes for a bit. Then he went to the church to set up. 

Poeole started to flood in. He left his office. He saw amber.  “Hi!” she said.he smiled. “Hi !” he said.  “Ready?” she asked. “I think so. ” he said. 

He started the service with announcements. “This week i will be kinda off kinda on. I will be preaching on Wednesday night. I will be in and out of the church this week.if you need to reach me you can try at the church or call my cell. You can also reach one of our deacons. I invite everyone to the wedding of my sister and steven brell. Our family is very excited. We will hope you will join us. ” he said. 

After a time of signing,  matt got up to preach. ” i want to talk tonight about our unchangible God. Hebrews tell us that he is the same yesterday, today and foever. The lord is consistent. He is a God of order.  He is a God of structure.  We can depend on him to never change his mind or standards. We can depend on his promises.  In galations, paul says that God never reniged on his promises to abraham. There were some within judism and in Christian circles that the mosaic law undid the abrahamic covinent. Paul says that nothing could undo the promises God made to Abraham.  God made this promise thousands of years ago. Because of His consistent character we can rely on that promise. ” he said. 

“The lord promised to never leave us or forsake us. We trust that because of his consistent character.  David said that he was young,now he was old but he had never seen the righteous forshaken. We trust that he will help us in the future because he helped us in the past. In first samual,the children of Israel put up a stone called ebanezer witch meens this far the lord has helped us. The implication is if God has helped us this far we trust that he will help us the rest of the way.  We look at what he has done for us in the past. ” 

“When moses was about to leave the scene, what do he do? He reiterated all that the lord had done. Joshua when he was about to die did the same. David at the end of his life told Solomon of Gods faithfulness. We can really on the lord because he has proven himself dependable.  ” he said. 

“We live in a world full of changes. It is said change is inevitable.  Life is changes. We are born babies. We grow, we learn to crall, walk and talk.we learn. We leave home. We gets jobs etc. Life is about change. We cant avoid it. We as Christians can realy on a God. Who does not.” he said.

“Our family and church have experienced changes. We began as a church that met in a motel. Then we perchased a building. Transformed it into a church. We went on the pastors fanily and 2 others to where we are. There were pitfalls trials. We did not know how it would turn out. My mom and dad trusted in the consistentcy of the lord. Faithful is he who promised who also will do it. ”

“Our family has seen changes. Myself and tracy and bryce have graduated high school and Tracy and i have graduated from bible colege. Bryce is in bible school. Kendra is about to start bible colege.  Tracy will soon be maried. The baby of the family will turn two. Life has seen changes. We lost our dad. Our pastor.  I steped into the pastor role. You saw fit to call me to be your pastor, God’s under shepherd hear in hagerville. Life has been full of changes some we see as positive some negitive. These did not take our lord by surprise.  We have seen his faithfulness in these events. We have learned from these events.  We have learned to trust in the lord.we have learned to trust in his unchanging character.  ”

“In lemantations Jeremiah weeps over the destruction of jerusalem. Judah was punished for its rebelliousness.  Judah fell to nubukanezzer and babylon. The whole book is a funeral durge for the nation. He says it is by Gods murcy that we are consumed every day. His murcy are new every morning.  Great is thy faithfulness.  Despite Israel’s rebellion against the lord. Despite his punishment on them, he would still be faithful.  At the end of saventy years they would be alowed to return. We see his faithfull consistent character. I rejoice in that. I depend on it.i know i can. ” he said. 

After the service, he closed the service.manny stayed behind and felowship. Matt mingled with various members and attenders. He had conversations with everyone. 

Amber mingled with various people. She had never attended hear on a regular bases. She knew people from her visits to the church . she lived in the area so she knew them from the town. Though she was not Baptist , she liked the church and liked the people in the church.  She always felt welconed hear. She never felt out of place even though she was a crazy charismatic.  

Many came up to matt and said what an encouragement his message was. Many could relate. Manny were experiencing changes. The mesege was very timely. 

After a while he saw amber. “Hi. I realy liked your mesege?” she said. “Thank you. It was not my original mesege for the night.  I could not focus. I kept thinking about evrtything. I decided to turn it into a summon . “he said. “It was a blessing. “She said. “Praise the lord!”he said.

“I missed your preaching. “She asked.”we post my surmons on line.”he said.”i will check them out. ” she said. 

At his moms house. “Ok i want everyone hear at eight a clock. Cofee will be on at 7:30. Breakfast will be served at 8:00. Then after breakfast we will go to the church after breakfast. We have alot of work to do.”tracy said. 

“This could be interesting.”matt said.”i get to be in charge.  “Tracy said.”i am not so sure about that.”matt said. They laughed.  

Matt stayed with his family for a while.then he went to his home. Again amber walked him to his car.they said there goodbyes.

End of part 4

 

End of sorrow part three

Andrew took out his key and unlocked the door.  He felt a sence of euphoria at first. he had not had this much fun in a long time.  He forgotten how to laugh. It just kind of came back to him. 

Then the euphoria did ware off. He felt sad. He felt Like he had beteayed leane. He felt worse then he had before.  He checked his phone. He looked over the picture of himself and abby. They were so happy.  

She was so mischivous so playful. She was silly . he started to chuckle. He remembered what she had said.he did remember how he happy he was.he started to be ok. 

Abby had set the picture of them on her phone.  She looked at it frequently.  She beleved that that night was the beginning for them. 

The next day he checked his Facebook . he saw a comment from his mom. “I had forgotten what your smiling look like. It is nice to see it. ” she said. He got a private mesege from his mom. “Andrew who is this abbygail?  ” she asked.

He smirked. “Hi mom. Abby is my next door neighbor. She is a friend of myine. She is really sweet.  She is a belever but she is a penticoastal. I try not to hold that against her. “He said. 

He got a mesege back from his mom. “Well she seams really nice. She seams to care about you. I want to meet her. ” she said. 

In the afternoon abby knocked on his door. He opened the door.  “Hi ab!”he said.  “You need to get ready. You look fine if you want to ware that! “She told him. He was taken aback.  

“Where are we going?  ” he asked. “Newsboys concert. ” she said ” i remember hearing about them. Tery watkins dial the truth ministry had a lot to say about them. They are christian rock.i dont asociate with ccm.”he told her. 

“I am not going alone. Your coming. You can bring a david cloud book exposing ccm. You can zone out. Your comming. ” she declared.  “I am not wining this one am i? “He asked. “Do you want to? “She asked.”no i dont. I will come.  “He said she smiled. 

“Seriously. You read dial the truth ministry?  Terry watkins is a nut!”she said. “He makes some good points. “He said. She chuckled.

He got ready.  They went into her car. ” you know people are going going to talk!”he said. “Yes they are.” she said.

 Andy was not sure about this.  He felt very out if place. He figured that he was probably the only independent fundimental baptist at this concert. Most likly no one would recognize him. He imagined that abby was plastering there faces on Instagram and Facebook.  She seemed to love posting pictures on social media.  Everyone would know he was hear. 

The music was a bit loud. Abby seemed to know almost every song. She was very into it. She was not shy.she raised her hand.  She did not go out if her way to embarris andy. She described it as displaying abbyness. She definently did today.

He did not any of the songs.he did not get the apeal of ccm. It made no sense to him.he tried to keep an open mind. 

She look over at him. She would kinda check up on him.she ask him if he was ok. He said he was. 

The song God is not dead started a debate.  “Would not a revival bring people back to hyim singing not Christian rock?”he asked. “Why? Christian rock is sinply one way of expressing whats on there heart. Our generation is making our faith our own. Is what we doing any different from the rise of new songs that folowed the revival of john Wesley?  ” she asked. 

“Ccm to me is wordly. It is Christianizing wordly music!”he remarked. “Some acussed wesly of doing that. The organ was very controversial when it first entered the church.  ” she said. “I knew you were going to go there!” he said.

“There is nothing sacred about the okd hyims. Some are really good but they are not the only acceptable music!”she said. “Speaking yo yourselves in psalms hyims and spriutel songs” he said. “We dont know what the hyins paul refered to sounded like.i cant believe you went there.  “She said.he laughed.

He got more use to the music. It was not so bad. He enjoyed being with her.  He forgot what human interaction was like. 

After the concert they started to leave. “So are you sick of me or do you want to grab cofee?”she asked. “Yea absolutely.  That would be fun. ” he said. 

As they walked to the car,she realized that they were holding hands. She had no idea who started it. She was not sure if she should take her hand away from him  or not. She decided not to. It did make her a bit nervous.  

There hands parted when they got into the car.  “So you went to your first Christian rock concert and you did not get struck by lightning. “She said.  “Im stil trying to figure out how to explain it to pastor rolins and his wife. ” he said.

” you could say you were kidnaped by a psycotic penticoastal. ” she said.  “That is very believable. “He said. “Hey! You were were not suposed to agree.  “She said. 

At the cofee shop. “So are you trying to convert me to penticoastalsm?’he asked. “No although you as a penticoastal would be very intetesting. I imagibe you would still be you just with speaking in tounges. ” she said.

“Are you always going to drag me to penticoastal and evangelical events?”he asked. ” yes. We can do things you want to do. You have to plan it. I will go to your churches events or i.f.b friendly events but you have to plan it. I have to start to get ussed to Baptist any ways. “She said. 

“Because your eventually going to become a Baptist? ” he remarked. “Yes exactly.  “She answered.

“So what do is your end goal with draging me out of the house usualy kicking and screaming?” he asked. “I am not sure you want me to answer that. ” she said.  “Why?”he asked. 

“You might not like the answer.”she said. “Ok.”he said. “My end goal i guess is you and i married with kids. You pastoting a church and me being at your side. “She said. 

“Oh. ” he said. “I told you you might not like the answer. ” she said.  “I have to be honest with you. I dont plan to get married.  I figure i will be single all my life. ” he said.  

“You did not promise the lord that you would be single? “She asked. “No nothing like that. I just dont have the desire to be married any more. It is not really in me. “He said. 

“I am going to mary you andy. You have to know i am persistent.  My persistence usualy wins out in the end. ” she said. “I have notice that. Your a nice girl but i am just not interested in being maried at this point. I dont see me changing my mind on that. “He told her. 

“Well you do really know how to put a damper on a really good day.”she said. “i figured. i want to be honest.”he said. 

“you say that today. you may change your mind. rather its me or someone else you should be oppen.” she said.

she regteted saying me or someone else. she let her hurt talk. she wished she had not said that last line.  

“I just dont see that right now. “He said. “Ok. “She said. “I suspected that you were interested in me romantically. I would like to be friends but i cant be anything more.”he said. She thought to herself. “Cant or wont?” she would not say it out loud. 

The ride home was a bit tense. “Your upset with me?”he asked. “A little. You cant feel what you dont feel. It is wrong for me to ask you too. Your still young.  We made sense. I respect you and i respect your feelings. “She said. “Ok. ” he said. 

The car pulled in. “I am sorry. “He said.”i know. “She said. They parted ways. 

He checked his facebook. The pictures form the concert got a lot lot of coments. Poeple teased him for his skour. There was one picture where he had his arm around her. He did not remember doing that. He could not persue a relationship right now.  A part of him wished he could. 

End of part three