End of sorrow part 11

Andrew had been a bible colege student. He was preparing for full time ministry.  That was before his fiancée died. He zoned out for a while. He was withdrawn. He was distent. Many made excuses for him.

Then he met abby. She was bubly. She was outgoing. She would say what was on her mind. She was willing to push him. There were no sacred cows with her. She let him know what was on her mind. 

He was reluctant to date her at first. After a while,he aceepted her. He started to let her in more and more. 

He was starting to consider comming back to the ministry. Now an opportunity to get back to ministry might be presenting itself. Things seemed to going on the right tract. 

After the sunday night service,they went out for cofee. “So. The pastor aproched me today. His farther in law is going to have surgery.  Mrs. Bail is going to care for him. He is considering going with her. He does not want to be seperated from her for that long. He might go with her. He is considering having me take over while he is gone. He is deeply divided over what to do. He seems to be leening towards going. He is devoted to the church and family. I have no idea what he will decide. ” he said.

“It is a tough decison. If he decides to go,are you ready to sub for him?” she asked. “No! Not at all. I believe the lord will give me the strength and wisdom to do the job. Despite penticostal propaganda ,we baptist do believe in the power of the holy sprit. “He said. She laughed.

“I am sad by the reason but i am pleased by the prospect of you being able to get your feet wet. This is a really good opportunity. ” she said.”i feel the same way. It meens a lot that he trusts me.  It seems the deacons like the idea. We will see. ” he said. 

“I imagine you have a flood of surmon ideas?” she asked. “I do! I am not woried about not having anything to preach about. ” he told her. “I did not think you would. ” she said. 

“I will be buisy but thats ok. ” he said.”it is a good buisy. ” she said. “Definitely.  ” he said. “If he decides not to leave for a while you can stil get work towards going into full time ministry. This is an open door. The time is now regardless. You have the suport of paster bail and the deacons. Either way time for complacentcy is over. ” she said.

“I agree. ” he said. “Good!  Because i will keep harping on you. I am not letting you off the hook. ” she said. “I know. I am ready to get back into things. ” he said. “Good. I’m glad. I am realy happy that your getting ready to persue full time ministry.  I really am. ” she said. 

“You are out of your funk?” she asked.”not totaly but i am getting there. I did use my greef as a crutch. I wallowed for far too long. I am sory i did not see it myself. I regret letting it go on for this long. ” he told her. 

“Its my job to kick in the but if you get too complacent. Its your job to admonish me if i get complacent.  We build each other up. I am sure some day it will happen. I am sure you will do the same for me. I see us as a team. Some times we will both be where we should be and we will help keep each other on track. ” she said.  “Ok.” he said. 

They drove home. They got out. He hugged her. They said good night and went insude there homes. 

They continued to attend each orthers church. They got more and more involved in each others lives and worlds.  There are always conflicts in any relationship. It seemed to be the inevtible. That was the case with them. 

It was a Sunday night service. She went into the bathroom. She was washing her hands when she saw jacky.

“Hi abby. ” jacky said. “Hi jacky. “Abby said. “I am realy glad you have been coming hear. Your realy becoming a part of our church.” she said. ” thank you. I realy appreciate that. ” abby told her. “It is nice to see him happy again. His spark is back. ” she said. 

“It must be hard to see him with someone else that is not your daughter. ” abby said. “It is not easy. It is time for him to move on. We see that. You have our suport. Both clark and i feel that way. ” jacky told her. “Thank you. ” abby said. 

“We are fully suportive of you two. We appreciated that andrew went to see clark.  We dont object. He did not need our permison. We were pleased that he told us.  “She said. 

Abby had no idea that he had talked to them about there relationship. “The last thing andrew wanted was to cause you any more pain.  He knows this is difficult. ” abby said. “Yes. It will be regaress. Both clark and i are suportive of you and andrew. Lee would want him to be happy. She would not have wanted to see him as he was. ” jacky said.  

“I am glad to see him slowly coming out of the rut he was in. ” abby said. “So am i. I realy like you. I am glad that you are in his life. ” she said. They left the bathroom. 

She wanted to run away. Of course she came in his car. She went back to the sancuatury. She was upset but tried to hide it. This was not the time or the place.  She waited. 

They went to the car after the service. “Want to go out for cofee?” he asked.”not tonight.  I am eiger to getting home. I am tired. ” she said. “You ok hun?” he asked. ” im fine!” she said.

The drive home was unrealistically qiet. He parked the car. They got out. “Why did you ask Clark’s permison to date me?” she asked.  “I did not ask him permison.  I mearly told him that we were an item. He had seen us at the church picnic. He and jacky were bound to see us . it is a small church. It was a curtisy. I wanted to make sure they were ok with it. I did not want to flaunt it. ” he said. 

“So you never ask his permison?”abby asked. “No i did not. I just wanted there to be no resentment of there part. ” he said.”do you think they may have interpreted it as asking of permission? ” she asked.

“They might have i supose. I did not intend it that way. ” he told her. “If they had had a problem with it, would you have stoped seing me?” she asked. “I did not think about it. I did not forese that hapening. I assumed that they saw that enough time had passed. I did not consider the posibility that they would have objections. ” he told her.

“Lets say they did object. What would you do?” she asked.  “I dont know. ” he said. “Not the right answer andy! ” she said. “Your mad at me about this?”he asked. “A little bit. ” she said.”why? I did not want to upset them. They have been though a lot. “He said. “Me being upset is ok?” she said. “No of course not. ” he said. “You did not even think about me. You were never maried to leane. Death do us part does not aply. If it did death did you part. Its time to move on. You had no obligation to see them. Your doing nothing wrong.  I am not suggesting we make out in front of them but us living our lives, doing what we normally do. I dont see a problem. I do see you being wiling to be held hostege to people who were never your inlaws is. You seem ok with puting everyone else above me! Thats not ok. ” she said. 

“I did not meen to ofend you.  I did not think you would object!” he said. “If thats true why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.  “I did not think it was a big deal?” he said. “It seems to me you tried to keep it from me. Why are you interested in me feeling sicure in our relationship?  The one thing i need above everything else seems to be the one thing your unwiling to give me.i crave security, stability.  You cant or wont give that to me. I fear either. “She said.

“Did you want me to not talk to them about this?” he asked.  “No i did not.it was unessisary. Its ok to live your life. I think you agree with me. That is why you did not tell me. You knew i would get mad. I am not the most important thing in your life next to Christ.   Leane is. I am not sure you see the lord as more importent then her. You did not even tell me.i was blind sighted. I had to act like i knew.  I could not tell jacky how i realy feel. Nor would i. I feel for them.they are good people. I dont want to add to there greef. Its ok to move on. Dating me is not a sin. Marrying me is not a sin either. Although at thr rate your going that wont be an issue.  “She said 

“I am sory. I did not consider your feelings. ” he said. “Was it that you did not consider my feelings or did you and just  disregarded them. I see intent hear. ” she said. “Ok i gues i knew that you would be unhappy with and did it any ways and covered it up. ” he said. ” well at least you acknowledge it. ” she said .

“You should have told me. I would have been upset. I would have rather heard from you then hear it from her way after the fact. ” abby said. ” i know. ” he said. “There is no room for liane or any one else in team andrew abby. ” she said. “I know that and i agree. ” he said. ” it seems like your more sory you got caught. ” she said. “Thats not thr case ab. ” he said. “I find it hard to believe that andy. Everytime you chose her over me. ” she said. 

“That is  not the case! ” he told her. “Thats what it seams. You care about everyone elses feelings but myine.i resent it. ” she said. “I do care about you. ” he said. “I want to believe you but i have been burned by you too many times. ” she said.

“Did you realy want me to say nothing?” he asked. “Yes! Your obligation to them has passed. Your doing nothing wrong. Its ok to be happy.  ” she said. “I only did out of respect. “He said.

“The fact that you hid it from me tells me you knew it might upset me. You went out of your way to hide this. ” she said.

“I felt that i should talk to them. ” he said. “I know that had they objected,you would have left me. She is your soul mate not me. If she were alive and we had met before you two wed, i would not have had a chance. Your my soul mate. I cant remember those who i dated before me. Why? Because they dont matter. Look im upset. I am going to say things i will regret. I think we should call it a night. ” she sugested. “Ok! Good night.” he said.

They started to disperse. “Wait. I am mad at you but i do love you. I dont want the last thing i say to you tonight to be anything but that!, she said.  He hugged her. “I love you ab!, he answered. 

They went to there house. They had a lot to work out. 

End of part 11

Next up

Pastor bail makes a decision regarding rather or not to go with his wife to be with her dad. Abby and andrew try to work things out. 

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Wedding party part 8

Two days before wedding.

Matt woke up at the same time he had been all week. He had gotten used to this  routine. Today he woke up before his alarm went off.he was tired. It was a long week but he would not trade it for anything.  

He was not ready for it to be over. The family had really come together this week. They were close before but life had got in the way. This week they had bonded like they did in the old days. 

Soon it would all change. Matt would be buisy pastroring. His mom would be taking care of the kids. Tracy would be adjusting to family life. The rest of the family would be going to school and growing up. Amber would be back on the west coast. 

He would miss her. He tried not to think about that right now. He tried to just wake up. 

Amber woke up at the same time that she had all week. Things were slowly comming together. They would soon be ready to go. 

She had been excited to see Tracy.  She had been excited to come back to her old stomping ground. She did not like traveling acres the country.  She had wanted to get back and get back to normal.  Now she found that she did not want to leave.

She realized that was not her home. This was. Being at the colege was God’s will for her but she was not sure it was now. Perhaps it was time to come back. Her life was there. She had a job ,friends,could she just up and leave? She could aford not to? Perhaps she did belong back hear.

She went downstairs. Tracy was already up. “Morning sunshine”tracy said. “Hi trace. “She said. “You ok amber?” tracy asked. “Yea. I did not realize how much i missed being hear. “Amber said. “I am so glad your hear. You have been an amazing help.”tracy said. “Thanks. ” she said. 

“Your like a sister amber. I hope you know that. “Tracy said. “I do know that and i feel the same way. “She said.  

Later on ,matt arived and then steve arived. Thursday could be the busiest day thus far. Friday they really did not have alot of time. The more things got down on Thursday ,the better.  

They headed to the church.  They then vacumed the carpet in the sanctuary. While others started putting up posters and steamers. Then they started to bring in the lattice work. They set it up. 

It took a bit to bring all of the components of the latice work in. Once it arived it was put together then set up. It took a while to get it all set up.

While the platfrom was cleared of anything not that was bot needed for the wrding. Even the podium was moved. A smal mobile podium was set up. 

Tracy had goten caught up in everything.  She stoped and smeled the roses. Things were really starting to takr shape. She was quite pleased.  

Almost everything was done. On ftiday the caterers would set up. They needed to set up there mom’s house for the rehersal dinner. Just about everything was done. 

“Tomorrow we wil get everything finished up. I want to thank all of you. None of this would have gotten done without your help. Thank you all. I am so pleased with how it has turned out.” she said. 

Matt was walking by when he saw steve look at tracy. Steve had no odea she was there. He had been reeding something. He looked up and smiled. She had had a stoic countenance. When he saw her, it all changed. She lit up. 

Something hit Matt like a ton of bricks.  At the end of the week, tracy and steve would start there life together. Matt would be alone. Everyrhing would go back to normal. He would be the same. Everyone else would be different. They would be moving but he would stil be where he was. 

What happened, he thought. How did he come to this place? He started to feel sad. He felt alone. This was unlike him. 

He took the long way home. He wanted to gather his thoughts.  He wanted to destressify. He wanted to calm down. He had no idea why this got him all worked up. He knew that it had. 

Dinner was good. Amber noticed that he was really qiet. He seemed distant.  He seemed off.  No one else noticed it but she did. She was concerned. 

Everyone was in the living room. Matt went outside. He stood on the steps. She decided to go talk to him. “You ok mat?” amber asked.  “I am having a bit of a pitty party?” he said.”not one of those. I thought you inoculated yourself from that?” she commented. “I gues it did not take.” he said. 

“What brought this on?” she asked. “I got too caught up in everything. I had no realize that tracy and steve were in love.  They realy are. He said.”i know. They are. ” she said.

“No one looks at me that way. What happened amber? Where did i go wrong?  I have been serving the lord. I have doing what i am suposed to do. Was she there and i missed her? Am i going to be single all my life?” he asked.

“Yes. Your going to live in your moms basement and read star trek novals sence you dont watch television. You will be the equivalent of a cat lady.”amber said.  “Not funy amber!” he said. 

“Yes it is. You know why? It is not going to happen. These years were not an acident. You were being perpaired. So was she. God has been working in both your hearts. Imagine you siting on a porch. A little boy is playing trucks in the sand. Your siting next to a young women. She has a baby girl on her lap. She is waring a t shirt of a christian rock band and a denim skirt. You are working on a sermons but you look up and you smile at eachother. She excist. “She said. 

He chuckled. “Christian rock t shirt?”he asked. “My prediction! ” she said. “Ok. You realy think she is out there?” he asked. “I know she is. ” she assured him. 

“I hope your right. “He said. ” dont wory about it. ” she said. “I am trying not to. ” he said. “It will be fine.  I know it will. ” she said.  

After a while,  everyone started to go home or turn in for the night. Matt left. Amber went to see tracy. “Tracy i really like matt. ” amber said.  Tracy smiled. “I know that. I have known it for a while. ” she said. 

“Do i have your permission to persue him?”she asked. “Of course! On one condition i want to be your maid of horner. ” she said. “Absolutely.  He might not say yes. Mayby he does not feel the same way i do. ” she said. “He does.  ” tracy said. 

Tracy said. “I would love it. My brother and my best friend. It would be great.  ” she told her. ” i hope it will work out. , amber said. “I think it will.” tracy said. 

That night amber had trouble sleeping. She thought about her and matt. How would approach it? How can she go about talking to him.what would she say? She finaly fell asleep.

He considered what she said.  She seemed confident that he would find someone. Was she out there. He finaly fell asleep. 

End of part 8 

Next up

Friday has arived. The day before the wedding. Amber suprises matt with something he never expexted. 

Panic attack part 13

Previously on panic attack.

Jack was traning for the ministry.  He had been a bible student student.  He was now being mentored by his father. Jack was heavily involved in the church. He was a defecto assistant asistent pastor. He sat in on deacons meetings.  

While many bible schools were the places where young men trained for the ministry met there spouse. That did not happen for jack. Jack graduated without finding the future mrs. Rayburn. 

Then he met Kristen.  A young women that capitivated him. He liked her almost immediately. She was reserved at first.  She withdrew from him. 

She was injured in a car accident a few years erlier. Her farther was killed. She was in a coma and then had a long convalescence and rehabilitation.  She bounced back with help from her mom and sisters.

It left scars visible and invisible. She sufers with anxiety and depression.  She was prone to panic attacks. She was reluctant to date him at first. she then agreed. 

It was difficult relationship at times.there was advance folowed by retreat.  It seemed to be circuler. It was advance,retreet, repeat. It could be frustrating at time. His affection for her grew and grew. Despite the difficulties he realy liked her. 

He felt like she  had let her in.  He loved that he showed how she couped with things. She had ler her in.  He felt like going with her for a drive helped him understand her. It was a huge breakthough.

His parents had invited the chairman of the deacons bored over for dinner. Dr. Wendel bears was a former missionary to kenya. He and his wife had returned to the us. They were rited from the misson field not from christian service. There children moved out and had children of there own. 

After dinner the men were outside on the porch. “So you and kristin are an item?” dr. Bears asked. ” yes we are. ” he said. “She seams like a very nice young lady. She is qiet. Reserve. ” the older man. “She is very nice. ” he said. 

“She seams to have qualities that are complimentary to someone who is working towards entering the ministry.  “Dr. Bears said. “I have observed that as well sir. ” jack told the older man. 

“I do,however have some concerns. ” he said. “Ok! What are those concerns sir? ” jack asked. “Well prior to the car crash that took the life of mr.greener and injured kristin they attended redemption Baptist church .after the acident they left r.b.c and attended quite a few different churches some independent fundamental baptist and some more evangelical and seaker sensitive.  I dont know the circumstances of there departure from those churches.  They seem to have for lack of a better term church shopped.  They dont apear to be tethered to a church or teather to a doctrine.  It may be nothing. Sense i am at your home and can talk to you freely.  I did want to mention it.” dr. Bears said. 

“Do you see it as a red flag?” he asked. “Potentialy but not necessarily.  I know pastor broaden and several people ay r.bc.they were a suporting church. It is a good church. I cant believe anyone would up and leave after a tragedy.  Things happen i suppose.  ” the older man said.

Jack had a feeling he knew why they left. He suspected that it had something to do with the fact that kristin is on antidepressants and under the care of psychologists. 

“I was not sure where they attended before coming to gospel Baptist.  It never came up. Talking about things in and around the event is difficult. ” jack said. 

“Of course. I am not trying to alter your decison to court mis grener. I wantes to bring it to your attention. I consider pastor broaden to be faithful servent of tehe lord. The fact that they roam form church to church is a bit problematic. “Dr. Bears said. 

“It could be.”he admitted.  “During courtship it is a good idea to have. Plenty of information.  We must gather information. Even facts we dislike.  I am hardly saying you should not court her but dont rush into things.”he said. 

Later that night. “You and doctor bears had an intense conversation!” pastor rayburn remarked. “Dr. Bears has some concerns. It seemed kristin and her family has switchedcuhurches a lot. She used to go to pastor broaden’s church.” he said. “I was not aware that they attended lee’s church. I hope i did not steal his sleep.” his dad said. “They have gone to a few sence then. Thats what i have heard.  I have not gotten any confirmation of that from her. “Jack said. 

“I see. What was the nature of dr. Bear’s concern?”his dad asked.”he was concerned that her family church shops. They are not committed to a church. “Jack said. 

“There could be reasons for it.”his dad said. “I think i know why. She takes meds for anxietyand depression. She is under a psychologist care. “Jack said. 

“You knew? “He asked. “Yes she was woried what how you would react. I figured we should figure it out on our react. She is on some prety serious anti dupresents. She canot just go off some of them. ” he said. 

“Jack i wish you had said something.”his dad said. “I know.  I just wanted a chance to figure all this out. “Jack said. “I understand that you want to protect kristin. You are a leader in the church. You do have responsibilities. “He said. “I know that.”he said. 

“They are not curently members. We can ask attenders not to come. We have had to do that in the past. ” pastor rayburn said. “Is church disipline warented hear?”jack asked. “I dont know.  We as a church did not ask them not to see a psychologist or not to take anti anxiety meds. Perhaps it is best not to temper with it. “His dad said. 

“I would like to visit pastor broaden.  Ask him about it. “Jack said.” ok. Jack the bible says that God goves some pastor, teachers, evengelists etc. They are to watch souls. They must give acounts. If they were asked to cease and desist and did not, it is a concern. ” the pastor said. 

“I understand. I agree. I am sory i did not tell you.”he said. “I accept your apology. Talk to pastor broaden. You might want to consider slowing down your relationship with her.” he said.”perhaps.  “Jack said. 

“Look we will see what hapends with lee broaden. Find out what happened at redemption baptist. Then we will go from there.”he said. 

He usualy called kristin but did not call her tonight.  He read in the bible as was his Tradition . his phone went off. He picked it up. “Hello!” he said. 

“Hi you did not call tonight! ” she commented.  “I had a long day.  I worked and then dr. And mrs bears came over. ” he told her.

“Oh ok. Its just not like you. You always call. ” he said. “I know . ” he said. “Is something up?” she asked. “No, nothing is up .” he said. “Your sure? ” she asked. “Yea. ” he said.”ok. I will let you go. Get some sleep. I will talk to you later. ” she said. “Ok.”he said. “I love you!” kristin said. “I love you. “He said. 

The next day he went to the nearby town of riverview. He drove to redemption baptist church. He went inside. “Hello pastor broaden. ” jack said. “Helo. Wait a minute! Your john rayborn’s son. ” he said. “It is good to see you sir. ” he said. 

“I remember when you were a little kid. ” he said. “I am all grown up now.” he said. “It seems so. ” he said.

“I am courting kristin grenner. I had some questions about her family’s attendance at your church. ” he said.”oh i see. Come this way. ” he said.

They went to his office. They sat down. “The greners came to my church sense kritin was young. I went fishing and hunting with rick.  My daughters and kristin were freinds. Kristin and her sisters spent many days at my house. We were devisated when rick was killed and kristin injured. Diane’s philosophy seemed to be two structures. Faith and medicine.  Like max plank she seemed to beleve that never the twain shal meet. She took everything the doctors said as fact. She alowed kristin to be treated with strong dosege of anti dipresents. Kristin was under the care of a psychologist that beleves in things contrary to the word of God. We expresed our concerns. Myself and the deacons felt we were not taken seriously.  Her arguments against our views did not take into account the bible. It was Diane’s decision to leave the church. We were sad to see them go. I was unaware that they were going to your church. They went to a mega church for a while. I know they went to a reformed church for a while then a middle of the road baptist church.  I had lost touch. ” he said.

“I did not know this.  This is concerning. ” he said. “I dont want to dissuade you from courting kristin. As i sad i knew you when she was little. I do have concerns. ” he said. 

 He went to barea Baptist church. He pulled in. He went to the office of the pastor. “Helo im jack rayburn. I am an assistant pastor at gospel baptist church. I had some questions about kristin grenner and her family. They are attending our church. ” he said.

“I liked the greners. They seem to be adjusting to our church. Kristin was part of our worship team. She played the keyboard and was a vocal as well.  They came to our church thinking that we were a bit more moderate then the churches they previously attended.  We use contemporary praise music, we are less strict on dress and so on.  We were however. On the same page on the isue of anti dipresents and seculer psychologist. We felt that diane put the views of secueler medical professionals above the word of God or sprituel leaders. She decided to leave. I was sory to see them go. I am suprised they returned to a fundamental baptist church. “Pastor eric tilson said. 

He went back to car. Before he could get into to his car his phone went off.he did not check his caller i.d. he just answered it. “Hello.” he said. “Jack i drop by the parsonage but you were not there. Where are you? ” kristin asked. “I am in riverview!” he said.  “What are you doing in riverview? ” she asked. ” i am on church business.  I am heading home.” he said. “Ok. Do you want to hang out tonight?”she asked. “Not tonight. I have some church business i need to go over with my dad.    It might take a while. ” jack said. “Oh ok. Well i will talk to you later. ” she said.”ok. ” he said. “I love you!” she said “i love you too. ” she said. Then the call ended. 

At home he told his dad what he learned. “I see. What concerns me is that they seem to put human wisdom and science falsly so called as superceding the bible and pastoral authority. They seem to  ignore pastors and deacons.  When presed they leave. ” his dad said.

“Kristin was 17 when the acident accured. Though she had graduated high school,she was still a minor when the crash occured. She was under her moms gaurdienship. She had little say. She might not have had a lot of options then. Once on some of these meds it is unwise to get off of them.” jack said. 

“I realize that jack. Kristin was initialy in no condition to protest. Kristin has been taught directly or indirectly that the church is a part of your life. A social club.it is not that inportent. It is a box in a series of boxes that make up a person. It is not an all emcompising thing that charecterizes life. God works though the church. The church is our identity.  A matryr when totured did not say his name. When asked his name he said he was a christian. We canot separate our identity from the body of christ. God gave pastors teachers evangelist for the equipping of the sants.  I am disturbed that there default posistion when think get tough is to leave. I fear we are a blip. Eventualy they would have left our church. They stil may. They are no committed to any one church or mayby not any one set of principles.  It would be unsafe for her  come off that medication.  No doctor would alow it. I Am not telling you to break up with her. You may want to talk to her about all this. “He said.  

“I realy like her dad. “He said. “I do too. So does your mom. This might not be a good idea. ” he said. “Would you be opposed to my continuing to see her?” he asked. “No. I hope you will think about this. Realy make sure she is the one.” he said. “Do you thibj she is not?” he asked. “I dont know. She is a nice young lady. These new facts give me pause.  ” his dad admitted.  

The mext day he called her. “Hi kristin are you going to be home today?” he asked.  “Yea. ” she answrred. “Can i come over? I wont stay long.  I wanted to talk to you about something. ” he said. “Ok. Sure come over. ” she said. 

He drove in. She came out. She wrnt over to hug him but he retreated.  She disengaged. They sat on thr steps. He left a distence between them. 

“What’s up?” she asked.  “I want to take a break. I want to revaluate our relationship.  I think we need some time apart. “He said.

“Is this because of my medication?”she asked. “Partially.  I know you have bounced from church to church. Your mom does not apear to believe in church leadership. Your not tethered to gbc or to i.f.b doctrine.” he said.

“How do you know all this? ” she asked. “I talked to pastor broaden and pastor tilson. ” he said. “Thats why you were in riverview?” she asked. “Yea.” he asked.

“You said break not breakup.  Your thinking about caling us off?” she asked. “Yes i supose i am. ” he said. “Dont you like us as a couple?” she asked. “Of course i do. You know i enjoy being with you. ” he said. “I thought you did. Look you  shoud go. “She said. “Alright. Good day kristin.  ” he said. He walked away. 

 End of part 13

Next up kristin and jack go there separate ways or do ?

Panic attack part 12

Previously on panic atack

Kristin lost her farther in a car accident.  She was badly injured herself. She had to recover in a long term rehab center.  She has mostly recovered . she is prone to anxiety .

Jack is the son of a pastor. He is training to be a pastor. He is being mentored by his dad. He is serving as a kind of assistant pastor. He has been kept buisy. 

Jack and kristin had a rough start.  They started to date.  Things were starting to take shape between them. There always seem to be a two steps forward, one step back. 

Things had gone incredibly well. They were developing a rythem. At a picnic she realized that this was the anniversary of her dads death. She froze up. She just had to get away. 

He drove her home. She ran inside. “Your home early?”her mom remarked. “You know what today is?” she asked. “Yes. Im sory i did not say anything.  I thought mayby you had remembered and just did not want to talk about it. ” her mom said.

“I can’t believe i forgot about it. ” she said. ” its ok hunnie. It is bond to happen. Ita ok to have a life. ” she said.” i know that. I just have to process all of this. ” kristin said. “I understand. ” her mom said. 

Kristin decided to go upstairs. She went up to her bedroom. She cluched on to an old stuffed bear. Her dad gave it to her when she was young. He won it for her from one of those claw machines.  She hugged it. 

The bear had become a memory . it stayed near her bed. When she was hospitilized, ashly brought her some things from home. She cluched on to the bear. When she was little she named it henry. 

When she woke up from the coma,henry became a constent companion again. 

She remembered waking up. She was obivous at first.  She became startled. Ashley,  her mom and her sister janey were there. ” kris its ok. Your safe!” ashly said.

“Where am i?” she said. She saw that was wearing a hospital gown. She saw that she was hooked up to iv and other wires. “Hunnie you are at Jenson rehabitation center. You were in a really bad acident. ” her mom told her. 

She stated to remember. The events that led up to the crash started to come back. “Where is dad?” she demanded to know. “Sweetheart lets take this one step at a time!” her mom said. ” where is dad?  I have to know!” she incisted. 

“Hunnie he did no make it. ” her mom told her. She started to cry.  She held on to her mom. Her mom held her close. That night she held on to her bear. 

It did not really sink in that he was gone until she was relesed. He kept a couple of coats in the foyer. They were gone.  It really sunk in then.  

Everyone else had been had time to let things sink in. It had been four mounths sense the accident.  For her,it felt like it had just happened.they had had a smal commital service with just the family. After kristin felt better they had a momorial service. She was stil in the rehab center but got a day pass. The memories flooded back. 

He was not sure what to do. Should he call her or just wait for her to call him. He missed her. He was having a such a good time with her and then it was over. He wanted to get back to that moment. He wished there had been a way to stop the date from ending. 

He had no way to know if he was in love. He did not know if falling in love was a real thing.  He felt something for her. He grew closer to her. Now it was over. He just wanted to talk to her. 

He did not hear from her that night. He decided not to try to contact her. He would see her at church the next day. At least he hoped she would be there.  

She styaed in her room more of the day. Her mom and sisters kept checking up on her just to make sure that she was ok. She assured them she was. 

He was teaching sunday school and did not get to talk to her before his class began. After the class was concluded,he went over to her. He sat down next to her. 

” on a scale of one to ten, how mad are you at me?” she asked. “I am not mad. I am upset. I want you to trust me. I want you to let me in. I really want to be a part of your suport syistom. I respect your mom and sisters but i hope to become your suport syistom. Your holding back and i dont know why. I want to be there for you. I feel like your not letting me. ” he told her. 

“I explained  to you  that i need my space. I have to fight my own battles.  It is importent to me that i prove to myself i can. You said you understood.” she said. 

“I do understand.  When i become your husbend i want to be there for her.  It is not a questione of can you fight your own battles. You are the bravest person i know.  You should not have to. Juat because you can go it alone does not meen that you should. ” he said.

” this probably is not the time or the place for this discussion. ” she told him. ” your probably right. ” he said. They were silent for a few minutes. Then the pastor started the service. 

After the service, “look i will see you around.  ” she said. “Ok. Call me if you want to .” he told her. She left the sancuary. He wanted to walk her to her car but she did not apear to want that. 

He had a dificult after noon. He realy missed her. He wished he could talk to her. He just did not think that was possible.  

That night he hoped to see her. She never came in . he saw ashly and diane. “Jack. Kristen has decided to stay home tonight. ” diane said. ” oh ok. ” he said.

He tried not to be distracted. He tried to focus. He found it hard to do so. He was able to pay attention mostly. 

 Monday night his phone went off. He saw that it was from Kristen.  ” hey krissy !” he said. “Hi jack. I do this thing where i just drive around in order to clear my head. You want to come along with me?” she asked.

“Ok sure. ” he said. “I will be over in a couple minutes?” she said. “Sure. ” he answered. He went to the porch. Her green jeep pulled in. He went inside.

He hugged her. She held on to him.”look im realy sorry. I just shut down.  ” she said. “I know. I figured that. I love her krissy. I am hear for you. I promise you that. ” he told her.

“I know that. Thank you. ” she said. She drove off. “So you go for drives often?” he asked. She smiled and said,”yes i do. I love driving.  This helps me clear my head. I could not wait to get my lisence. When i was hospitilized my lisence was yanked. I had to go though a milion hoops to get it back. ” she said.

“I did not really want to get my lisence.  I was the oldest of ‘forty kids ‘so my parents incisted i get my lisence. I did. ” he said. 

“My mom hates when i do this. I love driving. I feel free when i do this. I can forget everything. I can live hear. ” she said.

“She lets you do this?” he asked. “I am an adult. She does not like it. Sometimes she keeps caling me. I would not answer but i fear she might send out the search party. I told her where i go. I told her you were coming. ” she said. 

“Oh i see. I am your chaperone? ” he said.  “A little bit. I do want you hear. ” she said. “I know. ” he said. 

They drove to a field. She stoped. They got out. They looked around. “I love this spot. I like to just stand hear.i find i do my best thinking hear.”she said. 

“What’s on your mind kris?” he asked.”i should have moved on by now. Everytime i do, the menories flood back. I dont know how to deal with it. ” she said. 

“Let me in krissy. I want to be your very best friend.  I want to be your partner . i care about you more then i can describe.  ” he said. “I know that. I do trust you. ” she assured him.

After talking for a bit they went to the car. They drove around for a bit. She pulled back into his driveway.  “So have you gone on these drives sence we got together?”she asked. “Yes i have .” she said. ” i figured. Thank you for inviting me along. ” he said.”thank you for comming. ” she said. They hugged. They said goodnight.
  End of part 12

Next up kris relationship with her old churches thretends her relationship with jack. 

Wedding party part six 

Four days until the wedding

With the progress made the day before,tracy decided to begin work at nine. Tracy was up at 7:30. She put the cofee on. 

Amber heared someone up. She gaused that it was probably tracy. She came down stairs. “Morning sunshine!” tracy said. ” i knew that you weref up. ” amber said.

“So # thoughts are swiming in my head. I am surprised i got this much sleep. ” tracy said. Amber laughed. 

“This is all going to come together trace. It is going to be a great wedding. One you will never forget!” amber assured her. 

 “You had better keep in touch amber. ” tracy said. “I mwill.” amber said. “He cares abourt you. ” Tracy said. “I know he does. Odd he did not like me for the longest time. ” amber said.

“He is a private person. He always has been. He is not one to wear his heart on his sleve. You are special to him. There is nothing he would not do for you. ” tracy said. “I have never doubted that. ” she said. 

Matt woke up at 7:30.  He took a shower and got ready to go. He got in his car.  He headed to the home of his parents.  He parked and went inside. 

He went inside. “You dont look awake? ” tracy commented. ” i am noy but i am getting there. ” he said. He got a cup of cofee. 

After a while Steven arived. They had breakfast then got ready to go to the church. They arived at the church.  

Tracy took inventory of what was done the day before.  She looked at what was accomplished the day before in order to plan where to go from there.  

She then went upstairs and looked at the sanctuary.  She looked at her floor plan. She looked at the posters and decorations that had already been made. He started to make a list of things to get done. 

Tracy called a meeting. Everyone met in the foyer. “Are you alowed to call a meeting tracy?”matt asked. “Probably not. Can you call a meeting? “She asked. He laughed. “Ok people!  Gather around. ” he said.

All of a suden matt got weapy. He remebered his dad calling family meetings. The meetings were usualy getting ready to go somewhere manny times on vacation. He tried to hide the tears. He did not wear his heart on his sleve. 

“Ok so tracy what is the plan for the day? ” he asked her. “Ok i want the guys to work on the latice work for down stairs felowship hall. We will continue making decorations.  ” tracy said. 

Amber walked with matt as he walked outside.  “You ok matt?” she asked.  “Yea im ok. I thought about a phrase dad used to use. It took me by surprise.  Its bound to happen this week. ” he said.

They neared the door. She hugged him. “Hold on to those memories. Dont forget the good times. ” she told him. “Ok! I wont. Thank you. ” he told her. She huged him tightly before letting him go. “I will talk to you later.” she said. “You got it. ” he said. 

Steve and matt got to work on the lattice work. They got to work making tracy’s dream a reality. They set up what would be a gate around the tables in the fellowship hall. There would be a gazebo like structure near the end table. This was where the wedding party would come in. They could have there pictures taken there. 

They got several structure built and then would bring it down stairs. From there they would set up and interconnected.  The gazebo was the hard part. The platform was set up first downstairs. Then the rest was built outside and then brought downstairs. This kept the guys buisy. 

The girls worked on decorations and posters and sutch. The kid’s mom arived with there younger siblings at ten. They worked on various decorations and the like. 

Down stairs things were really shaping up. Amber came downstairs to him. “Matt is toasted cheese sandwitches and tomato soup ok?” amber asked. “Yea thats great. ” he answered. ” great. We are getting ready to lunch. This looks really good. Tracy will love it. ” she said.

“You like it?” he asked. “I really do. You are going to have to work on ny wedding. ” amber said. “We will see about that. Do i have to pray over it first?” he asked. “Yes it must be blesed with tounges. ” she said. ” oy veh!” he said. She laughed. “I will be back when lunch is ready! ” she said. 

He found himself tensing up. The thought of her getting maried. He knew she would get maried. She would be a great wife. He was fully confident that she would get maried.he just did not want to think about. 

Eventually she would meet someone. Probably penticostal. Probably someone at the college she worked at.he got sad. He wanted her to marry him. He went from disliking her to becoming cordial but stil dissent.  From cordial to friendly acquaintance.  Then they became friends. He develped a crush on her but he never mentioned it. They had moved on. She was on the other side of the united states with a life of her own. Things were different now. He would have to accept that.

What he did not know was that she was thinking the same thing. At first he was simply tracy’s brother. She did not give him much thought. Then she realized that he did not like her. Then they came at peace with eachother. Then they became friends in time. She liked him. She never told him. 

She did not the thought of marying someone that was not him. She equally did not like the idea of him marying someone else. She dreaded going back west. This was her home. She knew that she would head back to the west coast after the wedding.

When dinner was ready,  amber got everyone.  They eat in the halway.  Amber sat next to matt of course. “Hi there!” she said. He laughed.  ” hi amber!” he said. 

“Things are coming together.  ” amber said. “They are realy are. I am glad that is. ” he said. “We will all be tired out come sunday but thats ok. ” she said.  “I have a feeling that is true. ” she said. 

After dinner the guys got back to work on the latice work. The girls continued to work on decorations. 

Tracy went down stairs to look at the felowship hall. She started to cry. “This is beutifull! I love it.  Steve, matt thank you. ” she said. 

They stoped at 5:00. Everyone was tired. They went back to the house. They had supper. 

“What the plan for tomorrow? ” there brother phil asked. “I want to get the felowship hall finished and the halway. We probably should quit at 4:30 . church is at 6:00. ” tracy said. They all agreed. 

“Thursday will be sanctuary.  Friday the caterers arive. We finish everything then rehersial. ” tracy said.”what time are we starting? “Matt asked. ” we will push for eight.  Come by hear at 7:30 cofee will be on at seven. ” Tracy said.

Matt said his goodnight to everyone. Amber walked him to his car. This had become a tradition for them during the week. She hugged him. She watched him leave.

Amber went over to the family matriark. “Hi amber! ” she said. “So how are you doing with all of this?” amber asked. “Its hard. Tracy is my oldest daughter. Seems like yesterday she was a baby.  I am not ready for her to be all grown up. I miss there farther.  I has started to move on but this has brought it all back. ” she said.

“I know it must be hard.  “Amber said.”it is. It would have been any ways. Without him it is hard. I keep looking for him. ” she said. “Im sorry. ” amber said. “Thank you . ” she said.

After a while everyone started to go to bed. The wedding was nearing. They had a lot to do but they had done alot. 

End of part six. 

Next up 

The family works on finising up the felowship hall.  There is the wendsday service. Things continue to develop between matt and amber. 

Wedding party part five

Five days till wedding.  

Matt’s alarm went off at 7:00. He got up and hit the shower. He got dressed . he wore jeens and a blue t shirt. He put on a blue coat. He headed out. It was a little chilly but it he figured it would warm up. 

Steven ,tracy’s fiencae got up. He lived near the home of tracy’s mom. He woke up with the alarm. He got dressed and headed out. 

Tracy had been awake sence five. She finaly got up. She found it hard to get to sleep and to stay asleep.  She wanted to really start getting ready for the wedding.  

Amber heard that someone was up. She figured that it was tracy. She decided to get up. They had been up for a bit when everyone arived. 

Matt was the first to arive. He parked and came in. “Morning matt!” Tracy said. He hugged his sister.  He saw amber. “Hi matt.” amber said. “Hi amber. ” he said. 

He got a cup of cofee. “I am not quite awake yet. I am getting there. ” matt said. ” hury up and wake up. I plan on putting you to work today and then some!” Tracy said. ” i figured.  I will be awake by the time we get to the church. ” he assured her. Tracy laughed. “I dont need your mind just your brute strength. ” Tracy said. “Understood. ” matt said. 

Steven came in. Steve hugged tracy. They held hands and hugged but did not kiss even on the cheeks. “I got to warn you steve, your fiencae is quite an authoritarian! ” matt said. 

“Only during weading preperation. ” she said. “Then she will return to sweet Tracy.  “Amber said. “I am always sweet. I just to make sure everything is going smoothly.  ” tracy said. Everyone laughed. 

Tracy and amber and two other sisters got to work on breakfast. There mom was the last to get up. She walk downstairs with there youngest sister. She was three years old.she was born just before her dad died. 

“Hi mom. ” matt said. ” hi Matthew.  ” Katherine lauthen said. “The girls are making breakfast. I am thinking it might be our last meal. ” matt said. “She is planing to get a lot done today. I think she will be determined to get her to do list done. ” the mom said. “We will get there. I want to see us getting the tasks for today done as well. ” matt said. 

He could tell that things were hard for his mom. She was stil fairly young. She was only in her late 40s.she stil had young kids. The three youngest were 8, 5 and 3. 

“Getting ready for a weading is always chaotic. I know myine was. I remember thinking the Monday before that we would never het everything done. The weading was great. It was everything i wanted it to be and more.  I know that that will be the case hear. This will be something that tracy and steven will never forget!” her mom said.  ” i hope so. I am. Going to do all i can to make it happen. ” he said.

“You have always been a good brother.  I know you will. I have full confidence in you Matthew.  I know tracy does as well. ” she said. “I want Tracy to have a great wedding.  I realy do. ” he told his mom. 

His sister marissa anounced that it was time for breakfast. They all went into the kitchen. Matt prayed for the food. Amber sat next to him. 

After breakfast they got ready to leave for the church. Mat’ two youngest brothers wanted to go with him.”can i ride with you Matt? ” amber asked. “Sure. I got two really silly boys ” he said. She chuckled. “Thats fine!” she said. 

She got in. “Hear it begins!” she said. “Its going to be a wild week. I have a feeling we will be all tired out before the wedding.  ” she said. ” we will make it. ” she said.

The car parked at the church. Everyone got out. Tracy had everyone gather in the halway. ” ok! Sense the auditorium is going to be used for the Wednesday midweek, we are going to focus on the downstairs. Upstairs rooms will be used for prayer time. We will start on the sancuary after the mid week service. We can work on decoration just not put them up. I realy want to go wild on downstairs. Mom ,amber marissa and i will work on the decorations. The guys wil be the muscles. ” she said. 

The girls got working on the decorations. While tracy got the guys together. She took out a peace of paper and laid it on a table. “Ok. I am thinking we will start with the tables we have and then get the others table. This is how i want it set up.  ” tracy said.

Tracy left to talk base with the ladies. They got right to work. Matt started to move tables.  He and steve were moving tables. They got the tables set up first.  They moved the existing tables.

When they used all of the tables in the fellowship hall they then got tables from other rooms. they got the nearest rooms first. They did not worry about chairs at first just the tables. 

“Nervous? ” matt asked steve. “A little bit. Even a mounth ago it seemed so far away. Now it is almost hear yet at the same time it still feels a long way off. It still does not feel real quite yet. I am excited. ” steve said. “It is all going to come together.  ” he said. 

After they got the tables set up,they orginiazed them acording to her floor plan. Then they brought in chairs using an old fashioned chair doly. They started setting up the chairs. 

Amber came down stairs. ” Steve we need a life verse for a poster . “she said.”i have several i like. “Steve said.”pick one.mrs green wants to make a postet of your life verses..she picked proverbs 3:5 and 6. ” amber said.”hebrews 10:39 ‘we are not of those who fall back unto perdition’s but those who believe to the saving of the soul. “Steve said. “Ok thanks.”she said.

A little while later,amber came back. “Mrs green sais she wants a verse thar is more positive. ” she said.”it is very posisitve. “Steve said. “Do you have a different life verse?”she asked. “Romans 1:17,”herin the righteousness of God is revealed form faith to faith as is written the just shal live by faith. “He said. “Ok that should work.” amber said.

“What would have happened if i picked,’our God is a consuming fire!'”?he asked. “I shutter to think. Mrs green is a dear saint of the lord. She does have her own ways of doing things. ” he told steve. He laughed.

After a while,tracy came back. “Hey matty can you take down everything hanging uo to make room for yhe decorations? “Tracy asked. “Everything ?” he asked. “Except for electtical stuff. “She said. “Ok.”he agreed.

A little while amber came back..”steve mrs green was wondering if she she can just put as it is writen the just shal live by faith?”she asked. “I really like the whole verse. What about context? Ok its fine”he said. “Thank you.”she said. 

“Hey matt would you be offended if we eloped?”steve asked. “I told you that was the way to go. “Matt said. 

After a while tracy went to matt.”matt mrs green wants to put wedding verses like he that finds a wife finds a good thing ‘i would rather not have those kibd of verses. Its seams buisy. I dont want an overloud. The wedding itaelf is the mesege not alll the ascetics.  “Tracy said. “Its your wedding trace. You can have it how you like. ” he said. “You will back me up on this?” she asked. “Of course.”he said. “Thank you.”tracy said. 

“Explain to her that you want to keep it bear bones. Simple.  ” he said. “I will. ” she said. 

“Tracy is particuler. “Steve said. “She can be. It usually certain things. She picks her battles.  When she cares about something, she realy  cares about it. ” he told him. “Understood. ” steve said.

They got everything down. They started putting things up. Things were already shaping up. People came in and out. 

Amber came in. “Matty i need sandwich order.  Eag salid or tuna?”she asked. “Tuna. “He said.”Tracy was prety sure you wouls ssay tunna. One or two?”she asked. “Two please. “He answered. “You got it. Steve tuna or eag?”amber asked. “Eag salid just one please.” he said. “You got it” she said. 

Everyone eat upstairs in the entry way. Matt prayed for the food.he sat next to amber. ” this is starting to take shape.”amber said. “It is. This is the first wedding at the church in ten years.  Its time. Hopfully it wont be another ten years before anpther one. ” he said. 

“It is alot of work. We have got a lot accomplished. We got a lot more time today. I think we atr ptety much on shedule. “Amber said. “I thought we were.  ” he said.

Steve went over to tracy. They hugged.  “I missed you.” steve said. “I missed you. I am sorry wr have not really goten to hang out. I havr kunda micromanaged everything.”she said.”its fine. We will plenty of time after the wedding. I figured it would be chaotic and hetic. Its fine. ” he said.  

“Are you sure hunnie?”tracy asked. “Im sure. ” he said. “I did not meen to ignore you. You giys are doing a really good job. Everyone is. I am happy how it is coming along. “Tracy said.”im glad.”he said.

The girls worked on decorations. Even the little kids helped albiet supervised. The men did the grunt work. They hung things up. They hung steramers and posters.

There mom decided to bring the kids home for a nap after two pm. At five they decided to call it a day. They accomplished quite a bit. They were just about right on shedule. 

Tracy just looked around the felowship hall. “This is great. Thanks everyone.”she said. 

Tracy went over to matt. She hugged him. “Thank you for your help today. You went above and beyound. Please don’t run of steam. I need for five more days. ” shr said.  “I understand.  I promise i wont.”he said. 

“Are you coming to the house?” amber asked. “Yes that is my plan. I plan on staying for supper. Tracy wants to play monopoly.  ” matt said. “Good i was hoping we could visit for a bit. I have not got to see you much today. Not really.”she said. “I know what you meen. Sounds like fun.” he said. 

“Unless your sick of me!” she said. “Not posible. “He said.” i really hope that’s true. “She told her. ” i am sure its is.” he answered.  

They had dinner at the home of the family matriark.  After the youngest kids requested amber read them a bed time story before they went to bed. 

“Amber realy is one of our family isn’t she?” he asked his mom. “She realy is. You know after this wedding we might never see her again. ” his mom said. 

His jaw dropped.  He had not realy considered that. “You realy think we might not see her again?” he asked. “Well she is living on the west coast. It sounds like her life seams to be centeted there. Its possible we might not. ” she said. 

He hated not ever seing her again. It pained him. He knew that was a posibility. She was heavily involved in the church and school there. She could advanced there. She could even meet someone and get maried and raise a family. 

They played a few games of minopoly. Then he and amber were sitting in the living room. “Do you think that after this week we might never see eachother again. Your life is bassed on the west coast now?” he remarked.

“I am not going to just abandon you.you are my family. I wont be a stranger.  “She assured him. “Good! As much as i tease you,i do really like you. I would hate to never see you again. ” he told her.  

“I feel the same way. Your family is just as much my family. I promise i wont be a stranger. ” she said. “Good.” he said.

They agreed to meet up at the house at eight and start things at nine at the church. Matt went to his house. He was tired and fell asleep.  

End of part five

Next up

Progress continues to be made in wedding preperations, things happen between amber and matt. 

Panic attack part ten 

Previously on painic attack.

A car acident takes the life of Kristen’s farther. She is hospitalized for an extended stay. She sufferes form emotional trauma including anxiety and depression. 

 At first she was not interested in a romantic relationship. Aftet meeting jack a pastor’s son,she decided to give it a try. In manny ways they are very different. They are slowly learning how to relate to her.

Jack was working on a sermon when his phone rang. He realized it was Kristen. “Hey krissy.”he said. “Hey can you come over for super on Thursday? ” she asked. “Thirsday is fine. I have to get an oil change but i should done by 3:00 or so.”he said.

“Woa. What? “She asked. “I should be done by 3:00! “He said.  “No before that?”she asked. ” i have to have the ouk changed on my car. “He said.

“Your going to have a gerage do it?”she asked.  “I usually do! Why?”he asked. “Come by early. I will do it. “She said.” wait? You change oil?”he asked. “Yea i change the oil on the jeep or mom’s Car all the time. Bring your by and we can do it together. Just bring cloth’s to change into it. “She said. 

“Are you sure?”he asked. “I will very upset if you take it to the gerage.  ” she said. “How is it you know how to change the oil in a car? Your the girliest girl i know.you must own stock in nail polish!” he said.

“My dad did not have any sons just me and my three sisters.  He called it life skils. He taught us a bunch of stuff. I know how to change a tire and build a shack. ” she said.

” oh! I dont know how to do any of that. Although i am prety sure i coukd build a shack.” he said. “So come by around three. This will be fun. Consider it a bounding experience. “She said.

“Ok. I can do that. “He said. “Cool. This will be fun i promise. ” she said. “Oh ok. I trust you!” he said. 

On Thirsday he brought his car by. She told him to drive it into the gerage.  He did so. She wore coverall.  Her hair whitch was usualy down was in a phony tail. “Yes i am not wearing a skirt but this is only when i work on cars. ” she said.

“I did not say anything.  ” he said. She chuckled. She had everything ready. She went underneath the car. He watched her. “Pay close attention Next time your going to do it and i will watch. ” she said. “Ok! You got it.” he answered. 

He wacthed her do it. “Why do you have a jeep?  “He asked. “I like it. It is a 2002. I likes jeep. Someday i hope my family expands. I have always liked jeeps i gues. ” she said.” i was just curious. ” he said.

“Your not really a car person are yo”she asked. ” i like cars. I like getting from point A to point b. Other then that not too much. ” he told her. “I figured. I am not a huge car girl but i like cars. “She said. 

They finished up changing the oil. They left the car. He got up. He ofered her his hand and she took it. He helped her up. 

“Promise me you will never take it to the garage.  I  will find out. Be sure your sins will find you out. Yes it is a sin. Never pay for something you can easily do yourself. ” she told him. “Ok i got it. I wont. “He said. She chuckled.

“I never thought my girlfriend would change oil. ” he said. “Before you know it,you will be a pro of this. “She said. “Mayby you can teach me to play piano. “He said.”if you want to learn i could teach you. ” she said. “We will see. ” he said.

“I realy like you jack. ” kristin said. He smilled. “I realy like you. ” he said. “If you want to change you can use the first bathroom to the right. I will see you in a bit. “She said. “Ok. ” he said. She kissed him on the cheek.  Then they dispersed.

He changed into tan pants and a blue dress shirt. He put his other cloths into a bag. He went back to the garage and put them in his car. He went back upstairs. 

He went to the living room.”hello mrs greener.  ” jack said. “Please sit. Its Diane.  ” she said. He sat down. “Did you get your oil changed?” she asked.”i did. I was suprised kristin knew how to do it. ” he said.

“My husband felt that it was importent for my daughters to know certain life skils. Not that they had to use it but they had to be able to. They all took to it. Especialy kris and ash. Jared wanted a boy but he loved his daughters.  Kris was the closest child to him. She was his little side kick.  She used to tea parties with her stufed animals by the garage.  They would be interupted in order to get him a ranch. ” she said.

“I got the impresson they were close. I have tried to avoid the issue. I dont want to upset her. ” he said. “Jared was a good man. Definitely a family man. ” she said. 

“She is different today. Was this how she was before?”he asked. “She was very bubly. You are starting to bring it out of her. I want you to know i was never opposed to you and her being an item. I was just woried she was not ready. I have always been overprotective of all of them. Even more so sence the acident and the subsequent hospitalization. ” she said.

“I understood. “He said. “Has it been dificult?”diane asked. “I think we are starting to undertand how to relate to eachother. ” he told her. “Good. There are going to be ups and down. Dont be suprised if there is another down perioud comming. ” she admonished him. “Of course. ” he answered. 

Kristin had gone to her bedroom. She changed into a pink sleveless dress and put on a gray sweter. She wore flip flops. She put her hair back down. She walked down stairs. 

She went to the living room. He smiled at her. She smiled back. She kissed him on the cheak. She took his hand. He was a little skifish about physical contact any ways but was nervous about displaying afection in front of mrs greener,  diane. Mrs grener did not apear to be offended. He did not want to go overboard but a little bit of p.c is fine he supposed.  

Diane dismised herself to check on dinner. “Miss me?”she asked in a playfull tone. “It has not been that long but yes i missed you. Did you miss me?”he asked. She smiled and said, “yes i did.” 

“You cleen up well. “She remarked. “Thanks, so do you! I still am shocked you liked to work with cars.  “He said.”im versatile.  Everyone is diverse i think. Not as the world defines diversity. We are all a bit of an enigma rapped in a conundrum!”she said. He chuckled. “Your probably right. “He said. 

“I like to be full of surprises. Otherwise life would be boring.  ” she said.  “I am prety boring. I dont think i have any odd interest. I think my interest lines up with i.f.b quute nicely.  ” he said.” we will see about that. I am not convinced. ” she said. He laughed. 

“Am i going to be in for more surprises?” he asked. “Probably!  There is a good chance of it. “She said.  “Oh ok. ” he said. 

She left the room to help set up. He looked around the room. He saw a picture of her witg his dad when she was little. There was a family pictures.  She assumed it might have been one of the last with her dad before he died. He was called in for dinner.

They served ham,potatoe green beens and vegitables. She made sure to include vegetables she knew he did not like. She made sure he eat them. He eat them last. 

They had desert.  He was fall but was able to eat one peace of cake. After they sat on the porch. ” i dont think i can eat again for a week. ” he declared. She laughed. 

“I am not sure that i quite line up with independent fundimental baptist. I do mostly. I read king james i ware skirts or dreses most of the time. Other things i might not. “She said. “I figured. I suspected that.”he said. 

“I have attended both independent fundimental Baptist and independent baptist. When i grew up there was little difference. Slowly chirches drifted from king james and music changed. Dress standards as well. My mom prefers more conservative.  “She said. 

“What about you?”he asked.  “I like this church.  I like the people. They are freindly . the pastors son is kinda cute!”she said. “Only kinda cute?” he asked.they laughed.” you ok with being maried to someone slighlty on the strict side?” he asked. “I think i am ok with it. “She answered. 

“I am traditional .  some might say old fashioned. I sing the hyims, read from the king James bible. Dress up for church, i dont own a tv, etc. ” he said. 

“Well i see. I do read from the king james bible. I am somewhat modern but certainly not as the world defines it. I curtainly opose post modern philosophy.  I dont believe in situational ethics. I ware dreses and skirts and try to always be modest. I do ocadionaly listen to contemporary christian music. I do own a tv. I am conservitive. I believe in the fundimentles of the faith. ” she said. 

“I know that. I dont doubt that for a seccond. ” he said. “Do you still see me as a viable potential wife? “She asked. He put her arm around her. “Yes i do. I trust you. I know you would never undermine me. “He said.she rested her head on his soulder.

“I would never try to undermine you or to change your views.  I respect you and your views. I believe in separation and holiness. ” she said. “I know that. ” he said.

“What is a deal breaker for you?” she asked. “You have to be saved. I am Certain you are. I see evidence of spiritual gowth. I believe you are growing. A paturn of unrepentant sin. I am talking clear rebelion. It would be a red flag. I would atempt to work though it. Thst could be..i dont see that.  Under church discipline. That could be a red flag or a deal breaker. Dressing imodestly which you dont. Bad reputation , course talk. It is more isues of chracter. ” he said. 

“Ok. I am independent fundimental baptist. Just not as strong as orthers. ” she said. “I understand that. Your fine. I dont see a problem. ” he said. “Ok.i just wanted to make sure. ” she said. 

 She escorted him to his car. “I had a really good time tonight. I love spending time with you. ” he told her.

“I had a good time too. I feel like we are forming our own family unit. ” she said. “I do too. I love you krissy. ” he told her. “I love you jack. “She told him. 

He got into the car. She blew him a kiss. He pertended to catch it. He drove off. 

End of part 10

Next up

The anniversary of kristin’s farthers death takes her by surprise and throw there relationship though a loop.