Panic attack part 17

Jack and Kristen had become closer and closer over time.  Despite a difficult beginning, things were definently changing for them. They were developing a close bond. 

Jack was a frequent guests at her house and she waa a frequent guest at his. Her mom suported the relarionship but found it out to see her grow up.  She had trouble with her spending more and more time with him. He was becoming her suport system.  

Jack and her mom had talked things out. Things had inporoved with them.diane was slowly becoming more supportive of the relationship. 

Kristin was growing closer to his parents as well. Diane and the family were becoming more a part of the church as well. 

They had been together for two mounths now.  There relationship seemed to be in a very good place. Both were happy and content. 

Kristin had a doctors appointment a few days after there two mounth aniversry. It was prety routine .she had goten used to these. She was not expecting anything earth shatering to occur but perhaps she should have..

She had her useal physical. The dr had some reedings takon.the doctor then came out. “Kristin, i need to perscribe some new medications.  “The doctor said. “Ok” she said. 

“With these medication,you wont be able to drive.  I am aftaid i will need to take your lisence.” he said. “Is this medication necessary?” she asked. “I really do kristin.i know this is not what you want to hear. ” the doctor said. “No it is really not.  ” she said. 

She took a few minutes. She called jack. “Hi hunnie! ” he said.”jack they pulled ny lisence!” she said. “What happened? ” he asked.  “I have been prescribed mrdication that inpairs the ability to drive. My wings have been clipped. ” she said.

“I am so sorry. ” he said. ” look. Can you get one of your sisters ot brothers to drive you hear and drive my car home. If you cant its ok. I can call my mom.” kristin said.

“No i will be right there. Just give me a few minutes and i will be right there. ” he said. “Thank you so much..”kristin said. “Look we will get though this together ok?” he remarked. “Ok” she said. 

He got his sister to drive with him.he went to the doctors office.  She waited for him. He ran to her. She grabed on to him. He held her for a few minutes. She started to cry. 

“I know it does not feel it but it will be ok. ” he said. “I know it will. It just does not feel that way right now. I just feel lost. things were finaly starting to look up.” she said. 

he drove her home. “Look can we hanng out or something. I need a distraction?” she asked.  “Yea i need to drive marissa home. ” he said. “I will tell my mom.” she said.

She went to her mom. “Jack and i are going to go out for a bit.i need to get away and clear my head. ” Kristin said. “Are you ok kris?” diane asked. “No but i am  ok enough. ” she told him. ” she said.

Diane hugged her. “I worry about you kriss. ” her mom told her. “I know you do. I am hurt and heartbroken. .i know i can get though it. ” she said. “Ok. Have a good job with jack.”she said.”thanks. ” she said.kristin hugged her mom.

Kristin, jack and marissa went to there house in jack’s car. They droppes marisa off. “Where do you go when your sad and want to cheer up? “She asked.

“I know just the place!” he said in a glee full tone. “I am a little concerned. Should i be? “Kristin asked. “Mayby a little. ” he said.

They pulled up to a burger soveregn. ” burger sovereng really?” she said. “This is how i destresify. They have amazing shakes” he told her. “I could like a milk shake. You know my mom baned us from going to fast food.” she said. 

“Oh no! Will taking you hear put me in the dog house with your mom?” he asked.  “It might. Why not. I always like to do things i have never done before. They make good milk shakes?” she asked. “They are great. I promise. ” he said. 

He parked.  They got out. They held hands. “Can you get me the bigest milk shake they have.i might let you have some. ” she said. 

“Ok. ” he said. “I feel weird being hear. Its is like being in a bar. ” she said. “Your comparing burger sovereign to a bar? ” he asked.  ” it was the most apt comparison i could think off. ” kristin said.

He ordered a burger and fries. She just wanted a milk shake and got some chicken nugets. They sat down at the table. 

“Thank you for this! “Kristin said. “No problem.  ” he said.”wow. This is great! ” she said. “I told you!” he said. She laughed. 

“I could not wait to drive. The minute i turned 16, i begged my dad to teach me to drive.  He was so patcient with me. I was so excited when i got my license.  When i woke up from the coma it took me a while to get it back.my mom was skidish about me driving but i loved just driving. That was when i discovered the spot. I felt so free. I could forget about everything that was going on. Now i gues i wont be able to. ” she said. 

“Well i enjoy driving.  Give me a call and we can take a drive. I know that it wont be the same but i am sure it can help. ” he said. “It wont be the same but it will be fine. ” she said.

“Was your mom ok with you going with me?” he asked. “Yes she was. She wants me to come to her with stuff. I know she cares about her. She worriers about me. I want to be sad. I want to deal with it. I want you to be with you. Your good madicine jack. “She said.

“I am glad.  I dont always have the answers. Sometimes all i can do is listen, give you a big hug and be there. ” he said. “I am ok with that. I dont need you to solve my problems. I just need to know you care. I know you do. I dont doubt that.  ” she said. 

“Are you ok krissy?” he asked. “No but yes. I know it will get easier in time. I know it is not the end of time. It is hard but i will be alright. ” she said.

“How is your shake?” he asked. “Amazing. I cant believe i have never had it before. I cant believe what i have been missing. ” she said. 

After a while they decided to leave. They walked out hand in hand. “Thank you for tonight.  Just having you hear makes it easier. I feel like i am stuck.  I just cant get pass that night.  I can never fully move on. I get so close but then i am pulled back in.” she said 

He hugged her. She cried on his shoulders.  He squezed her tightly. She held on to him. “Its ok. I got you! I am not going to leave you krissy! I love you. ” he said.

“I love you jack! You always going to be there for me? ” she asked. “As long as i have breath, definently. ” he said. She smiled. 

“I am not letting you get away. Not without a fight. ” she said. “I have no intention of leaving. That day is not going to define you. It has a lasting legacy for sure. It is not your end. It bateted you but it not destroy you. Your are blodied but stronger. ” he said. She held on him for a bit.

They got in the car. They went to there spot in the woods. They stood for a bit. ” i love this spot! We are going to show our kids this spot?” she remarked. “Absolutely.  ” he said.

“I hope they love it like we do. ” she said. “I think they will. ” he said. ” i needed to just cry things out. ” she said. “Thats fine. You dont have to be strong in front of me.  Be yoursf. Cry if you need to. Im hear for you always. ” he said.

“I dont doubt that. ” she said. He held on to her. They drove back to her house. “I had a good night despite the day. You do good cheering me up. ” she told her. “I am glad . i want to do for you. ” he said. 

“I know you will. You did really good tonight.Thank you. ” she said. He hugged her. He escorted her to the door.

She went to see her mom. “Mom. I love jack.  He is such a sweet and gentlemen.  He has been great. I will not need you mom. I know you worry about me. I will be ok. Its hard but i can make it. ” she said. 

“I do wory about you. You may habe been a dadys girl but you are still my dsughter. I will never get over how close i lost you. ” diane said. Kristin started crying.

“It is hard to see you grownup. It is hard to see you getting ready to move on. I know some day sooner then i want you will be leaving me and cleving to jack.  Your handiling this different tonight. ” diane said. 

“Mom i do stil need you. That wont change. ” she said.” i will ne there for you whenever you need me. I promise. ” diane said. They hugged.

End of part 17.

Next up.

Kristin adjust to life without driving. Diane wories she is sliping in depression while jack plans a big day for her. 
 

Panic attack part 16

Previously on picnic attack.

Jack and kristin breiefly broke up.after some time apart,they decided to get back together.  

Despite there previus dificulties,things had started to go well for them. They were starting to figure out how to relate to each other. Things were shaping up for them.

They began to really get to know each orther. They started to move beyound the superficial. At the same time they began to unite spritually.  They did devotions together. They prayed together. They became very close. 

She started to trust him more and more. She started to confide in her more and more. She opened up. She let go of her fears. She allowed herself to be vanerable around him. She gave up a lot of her insicurity and bariers that kept him out. 

Everyone one noticed that they were verry Different from before.  They were very sweet together.  People at church liked watching them. 

 They had a lot of fans. Not everyone was quite as happy about it. Kristin’s mom strugled with it.  She loved all of her daughters.  She lost her husband but The lord spared kristin.  She hated watching her in a coma then strugling to relearn everything. She woried about her. She wanted to protect her. She did not meen to but sometimes took it too far.

It was not just because of all she went though. It was hard to see grow upm it was hard to see her go on her own.the closer she got to jack,  the more she feared she no longer needed her. She wanted kristin to turn to her. That was just not hapening as much any more.

She did not want to admit it but she was a bit releved when kristin ams jack broke up. She knew some day ,she would go off on her own. Mayby her mom would get more time time with kristin.  

Then they got back together. Now there bound was even stronger.  She began to see that this relationship might last longer then she expected. She was happy for her but it was still hard. 

Kristin was growing up. She waa getting ready to go out on her own. It was how it was to be. She was changing.  

Ktistin’s cell phone rang. She answered the phone. “Hi. ” she said. “Hello krissy.Tomorrow marks our one mounth anniversary.  ” he said. “Are you one of those who wants to commemorate every milestone including the first time one of us sneezed in front of the orther?” kristin asked.

“Well Mayby not every milestone!  This is a big one. I was wondering if you wanted to go out to eat with me. It ocured to me our dates were usually at one of our houses but we have never gone out. I thought we could go out to celebrate just you and me. ” he suggested. 

“It is a date date?” she commented. “There is no reason we did not do it erlier. I just did not think of it. ” he said.

“I love it. I love that idea. ” she said.  “How about thirsday night?” he suggested.  “Thats a great idea. I can go for that. ” she responded. “Awsome.can i pick you up at 4:00?” he asked.  “Sounds really good.” she said. 

“I cant wait to see you. I am realy excited for this!” she said. “I am too. I think this will be good. ” he said. “I think so too.” she said. 

“So your going out today?” her mom asked. “Yes. We are going to celebrate our mounth anniversary.  “She said.

“Do you think mayby you two are spending too much time together?  “Her mom asked.  “I had not really thought about that. It is. Spceical occasion.  “Kristin said.

“You two might be moving too fast. This is your first relationship sense the accident. I just think you two should slow down a bit. ” her mom said.

“We dont spend that much together.  We both keep prety buisy. We enjoy each others compony. ” kristin said 

“I know. I am just concerned that you are setting yourself up for a fall. I am not sure he totaly understands what he is getting into. I am not sure you understand all that goes on with you.” she said.

“I know that. I am sure i do not totaly understand all that goes on. I really like him. Every day i realize just how much. I understand what yoir saying.i know we both have to be careful.i think i am ready for a relationship. “She told him. 

“I just dont know kris. I thought you were. You may not be and thats ok. “She said. “Do you think i should not see him?” kristin asked. “No but you might want to pull back a bit. Take a step back. That is all i am saying.” her mom said. 

“Mom. I understand what you are syaing. I really do but when i am with him i feel like i am me again. Not tottaly. I dont know of i can ever be that person i was before the crash. I like being with him. I know he feels the same way. ” she said. 

“Just be carefull ok?” diane said.”i will mom. ” she said. Diane chuckled. “Ok!”she said. She gave her mom a hug. 

She spent quite a while getting ready. She put on a pink sweter and white and pink skirt. She braided her hair.  She was excited for this. She suspected he was well. 

He was always early. It was usualy a few minutes earley. She had learned that fairly early on in there relationship.  Sure enough there he was. 

She walked outside and walked down the stairs. She got into the pasinger seat. He smiled at her. He wore a polo shirt and tan pants. She smiled back.  “I got you flowers. “He said. “Those are beutifull thank you. ” she said. 

They went to a resturant. They were seated. ” you know i have never been on a date like this. “She said. “No i have not either. “Jack said. “Did you date at all in high school?”she asked.”no i was home schooled. I did not know manny girls my age. I imagine that i would have not been alowed to date but it never came up as an issue. “He said.

“I had a couple of boyfreinds but nothing too serious.  At the time i thought it was. “She said. He chuckled.

“Were you boy crazy in high school?” he asked in a playfull tone. “Perhaps a bitt. ” she admitted. ” i see. ” he said. “I am not anymore.  Except for one guy. ” she said. 

“That’s me right not lester cole?” he asked. “Yes silly. Thats you. ” she said.”good. I am just making sure.” he said. 

“So. When we got back together, you talked abour marriage as if it was a fata complee. Is that how you fell? Do you see us getting married lord wiling?” she asked.

“I do. I beleve the lord has brought us together.  Until we say i do, i gues i cannot be totaly sure. I am fairly confident yes. Do you feel the same way?” he asked. 

“I do. I very much do.i have fun with you. Its more then that.  I like being around you. I feel safe around you. ” she said.

“I am very glad to hear that. That is what i want.  I very much want you to feel safe. ” he said. ” i know that. I have never doubted that. ” she told him. 

After dinner they went for a drive.”look jack, i cant promise you that the way i am will change. I might always be this way. I might get worse. ” she said.

“I may not be prepared for that. I know i might not be. I am ready to commit to you no matter what. “He told her.

“I just wanted to make sure you did it. It is not going to be easy. ” she told her.”the importent things never are.i know that this may be harder then either of us can posibly understand. I beleve that you are worth it. I know you are. ” he said. 

She smiled.  “Ok. “She said. He smilled at her. He had a different smile just for her. She was sure he knew that but she knew he did. She loved it. 

They  went to het spot for a while. “Do you feel that we are moving too fast?” she asked. “I dont know. Do you feel we are?” he asked. “My mom is concerned that we might be.”she said.”i have never done this before. I dont have anything to base it on. My parents were part of a prayer group at college.  They ended up spending more time together. They hung out for a couple mounths before they got together officially.  ” he said.

“My dad was my mom’s tax guy. My mom asked her parents who to use for a tax perperer. They recomended my dad..two years later they were maried. ” she said. “Wow. My moms mom went to the misson field beleving she would be single all her life.  She actually told my grandfather she thought she would go unmaried. My grandfarther told her he was prety sure would be maried. He perposed a year later. ” he said.

“I gues there are no rulles.” she said. “Look krissy if you want some time to yourself thats fine. I would ask that we keep the lines of communication open. ” he told her. 

“Ok. I dont feel we need to take that step just yet. I never want to not have lines of cominication. I agree.  “She said.”i really do want to marry you. I hope the lord does permit that. ” he said.”i do too.” she said. 

They drove to there favorate spot then he brought her home. “I had a really good time tonight!” she told him. He smiled. “I did too. ” he said.

He hugged her. She held on to him for a minute. She kissed him on the forehead. They said there goodbyes.she went inside. 

She realized that day how much she carred about him.she was starting to realize just how much she did care about him. 

End of part six

Next up

Things go well for kristin and jack. Then kristin is put  stronger medication. That provides some complications. 

Wedding party part six 

Four days until the wedding

With the progress made the day before,tracy decided to begin work at nine. Tracy was up at 7:30. She put the cofee on. 

Amber heared someone up. She gaused that it was probably tracy. She came down stairs. “Morning sunshine!” tracy said. ” i knew that you weref up. ” amber said.

“So # thoughts are swiming in my head. I am surprised i got this much sleep. ” tracy said. Amber laughed. 

“This is all going to come together trace. It is going to be a great wedding. One you will never forget!” amber assured her. 

 “You had better keep in touch amber. ” tracy said. “I mwill.” amber said. “He cares abourt you. ” Tracy said. “I know he does. Odd he did not like me for the longest time. ” amber said.

“He is a private person. He always has been. He is not one to wear his heart on his sleve. You are special to him. There is nothing he would not do for you. ” tracy said. “I have never doubted that. ” she said. 

Matt woke up at 7:30.  He took a shower and got ready to go. He got in his car.  He headed to the home of his parents.  He parked and went inside. 

He went inside. “You dont look awake? ” tracy commented. ” i am noy but i am getting there. ” he said. He got a cup of cofee. 

After a while Steven arived. They had breakfast then got ready to go to the church. They arived at the church.  

Tracy took inventory of what was done the day before.  She looked at what was accomplished the day before in order to plan where to go from there.  

She then went upstairs and looked at the sanctuary.  She looked at her floor plan. She looked at the posters and decorations that had already been made. He started to make a list of things to get done. 

Tracy called a meeting. Everyone met in the foyer. “Are you alowed to call a meeting tracy?”matt asked. “Probably not. Can you call a meeting? “She asked. He laughed. “Ok people!  Gather around. ” he said.

All of a suden matt got weapy. He remebered his dad calling family meetings. The meetings were usualy getting ready to go somewhere manny times on vacation. He tried to hide the tears. He did not wear his heart on his sleve. 

“Ok so tracy what is the plan for the day? ” he asked her. “Ok i want the guys to work on the latice work for down stairs felowship hall. We will continue making decorations.  ” tracy said. 

Amber walked with matt as he walked outside.  “You ok matt?” she asked.  “Yea im ok. I thought about a phrase dad used to use. It took me by surprise.  Its bound to happen this week. ” he said.

They neared the door. She hugged him. “Hold on to those memories. Dont forget the good times. ” she told him. “Ok! I wont. Thank you. ” he told her. She huged him tightly before letting him go. “I will talk to you later.” she said. “You got it. ” he said. 

Steve and matt got to work on the lattice work. They got to work making tracy’s dream a reality. They set up what would be a gate around the tables in the fellowship hall. There would be a gazebo like structure near the end table. This was where the wedding party would come in. They could have there pictures taken there. 

They got several structure built and then would bring it down stairs. From there they would set up and interconnected.  The gazebo was the hard part. The platform was set up first downstairs. Then the rest was built outside and then brought downstairs. This kept the guys buisy. 

The girls worked on decorations and posters and sutch. The kid’s mom arived with there younger siblings at ten. They worked on various decorations and the like. 

Down stairs things were really shaping up. Amber came downstairs to him. “Matt is toasted cheese sandwitches and tomato soup ok?” amber asked. “Yea thats great. ” he answered. ” great. We are getting ready to lunch. This looks really good. Tracy will love it. ” she said.

“You like it?” he asked. “I really do. You are going to have to work on ny wedding. ” amber said. “We will see about that. Do i have to pray over it first?” he asked. “Yes it must be blesed with tounges. ” she said. ” oy veh!” he said. She laughed. “I will be back when lunch is ready! ” she said. 

He found himself tensing up. The thought of her getting maried. He knew she would get maried. She would be a great wife. He was fully confident that she would get maried.he just did not want to think about. 

Eventually she would meet someone. Probably penticostal. Probably someone at the college she worked at.he got sad. He wanted her to marry him. He went from disliking her to becoming cordial but stil dissent.  From cordial to friendly acquaintance.  Then they became friends. He develped a crush on her but he never mentioned it. They had moved on. She was on the other side of the united states with a life of her own. Things were different now. He would have to accept that.

What he did not know was that she was thinking the same thing. At first he was simply tracy’s brother. She did not give him much thought. Then she realized that he did not like her. Then they came at peace with eachother. Then they became friends in time. She liked him. She never told him. 

She did not the thought of marying someone that was not him. She equally did not like the idea of him marying someone else. She dreaded going back west. This was her home. She knew that she would head back to the west coast after the wedding.

When dinner was ready,  amber got everyone.  They eat in the halway.  Amber sat next to matt of course. “Hi there!” she said. He laughed.  ” hi amber!” he said. 

“Things are coming together.  ” amber said. “They are realy are. I am glad that is. ” he said. “We will all be tired out come sunday but thats ok. ” she said.  “I have a feeling that is true. ” she said. 

After dinner the guys got back to work on the latice work. The girls continued to work on decorations. 

Tracy went down stairs to look at the felowship hall. She started to cry. “This is beutifull! I love it.  Steve, matt thank you. ” she said. 

They stoped at 5:00. Everyone was tired. They went back to the house. They had supper. 

“What the plan for tomorrow? ” there brother phil asked. “I want to get the felowship hall finished and the halway. We probably should quit at 4:30 . church is at 6:00. ” tracy said. They all agreed. 

“Thursday will be sanctuary.  Friday the caterers arive. We finish everything then rehersial. ” tracy said.”what time are we starting? “Matt asked. ” we will push for eight.  Come by hear at 7:30 cofee will be on at seven. ” Tracy said.

Matt said his goodnight to everyone. Amber walked him to his car. This had become a tradition for them during the week. She hugged him. She watched him leave.

Amber went over to the family matriark. “Hi amber! ” she said. “So how are you doing with all of this?” amber asked. “Its hard. Tracy is my oldest daughter. Seems like yesterday she was a baby.  I am not ready for her to be all grown up. I miss there farther.  I has started to move on but this has brought it all back. ” she said.

“I know it must be hard.  “Amber said.”it is. It would have been any ways. Without him it is hard. I keep looking for him. ” she said. “Im sorry. ” amber said. “Thank you . ” she said.

After a while everyone started to go to bed. The wedding was nearing. They had a lot to do but they had done alot. 

End of part six. 

Next up 

The family works on finising up the felowship hall.  There is the wendsday service. Things continue to develop between matt and amber. 

Panic attack part 11

When jack first met Kristen, something was stired in him. He could not understand it. It was so unlike him. He could not ignore it.  At first it seemed that she did not feel the same way about him. 

Kristin and him decided to date. The more time he spent with her the more he felt for her. She slowly let down her gaurd.  She sowly trusted him more and more. He saw that. 

Then there was the day she helped him change the oil on his car.  That was a turning point . he saw what maried life with her would be like. They would laugh together smile together, work together,  pray together and yes cry together.  They would do it togerher. 

He loved being with her. Even disagreements would not doom there relationships.  He felt positive while driving home from her house.

He had a colection of hyims on cd from a Christian college on his way home. He parked the car. He walked to the door. He walked inside. 

 Most of the family stared at him. “Oh no! She posted pics of us changing the oil didn’t she?” he asked. “Yes. She did.  You two are really cute.” his mom said. 

“You did not want her to post them?” hsis dad asked. “No its fine. It was a little embarrassing.  It was fun. We had a good time interacting with eachother while doing it. ” jack admitted. 

“You got a lot of likes. Including from both sets if grandparents.” his mom said ” papa Grammy, grampa and nana saw it?” he asked.” yes they did.” his Merissa answered. His siblings laughed.

He thought to himself, “man i am realy going to get teased. ” he figuted he was never going to be able to live this one down. 

She started to trust him. She got closer and closer to him.she did start to let her gaurd down. She grew more wiling to be vannerable around him. She found him to be sweet. He was kind and caring. 

She had no idea what he would be like. The more she got to know him the more she liked.  She looked forward to getting to know him more. 

At the midweek service he saw her. His eyies met hers. Her face went from serious to smiling. “Hi babe!” she said. He smiled . “hi. ” he said.

They sat down. “You got raked over the coals? ” she remarked. “Yes i know. I would not change it for anything. It was a good bonding experience.” he said. “Told you ” she said.

They decided to get together on saterday. They met in a park for a picnic. She made a. Bunch of chicken salid sandwitch and desert. She wore a brown sweter and back and gray skirt and flip flops. 

“Beautiful day today? ” he remarked.”it really is. Not a single cloud in the sky. Sun is shinning.  ” she said. 

After dinner they played several rounds of volley ball. ” i was on the high schhol soccer team. ” she said. “Did you go to public school?” he asked. “I did. I went to a Christian school until secvond grade then went to public school. ” she said.

“I was home schooled. ” he said. “All 12 years?” she asked. “All 12 years!” he answered.  ” i cant imagine never going to a formal school. ” she said.”i cant imagane going to a formal school. “He answered. ” i gues that makes sence. ” she said. 

“You played sports?”he asked. “I loved playing sports. Did you play sports at bible college?” she asked. “Intermural.  We have sports teams that play other schools and tournaments but i never played on them. ” he said.

“Not a sports guy?” she asked. “Oh i love sports. I like playing sports. Playing professional sports is probably not in my future. I will stick to pastoring. ” he said. “Ok.” she said. 

“I do enjoy shooting a basketball or hiting a voley ball etc. I find it therapeutic.  ” he said. “I do too. When i got out of the hospital , i spent houers outside playing basketball.  Ash and mom were woried about me . it was my way to coupe. ” she said. “Understandible. There is no right or wrong way to mourn or coupe or heal. Everyone does it differently. “He said. 

“I stil have healing to do. ” she said. He took her hand. “I know. I am hear for you. Always. Whatever you need whenever.  I am hear for you. I want to help you heal. “He assured her. “Thank you. “She squeezed   his hand. He squeezed it back. 

“Its hard to talk to my mom and sisters. They worry about me. They want me to be ok. They worry if im not totaly alright i will become realy depressed or a danger to myself. The truth is im not ok but im ok. If that makes sense.  ” she said. 

“It does make perfect sense. Its there job to worry. You can understand why. You can always talk to me. I promise i wont judge. I want you to feel free to be honest. ” he said. 

“I want to be ok. I really do. ” he said.”i know. You dont have to be strong. You dont have to be ok. We can work though this together.  ” he told her. “Ok. “She said.

They got talking about various things.she just stoped. She got frantic. “You ok kriss?” he asked. “What is the date today?” she asked. “May 27th. “He said. ” oh no. I got to go home. ” she said. “What is it?” he asked.

“Today is the day that dad died. I just want to be alone. ” she said.   “Ok.”he said. They packed everything up. They put everything away in the car. 

She did not say mutch on the way home. He pulled in her driveway.she had just shut down. “Call me when you want to. ” he said. “Ok” she said.she then went inside. 

He drove home.  ” your home early. “His mom said. “She wanted to get home.   “He said.  “You ok son?” his dad asked. “Yea im fine.  ” he said. 

He felt like they were nearing a breakthrough.  Then it was all over. He had no idea how to deal with it or what to do now.

End of part 11

Wedding party part five

Five days till wedding.  

Matt’s alarm went off at 7:00. He got up and hit the shower. He got dressed . he wore jeens and a blue t shirt. He put on a blue coat. He headed out. It was a little chilly but it he figured it would warm up. 

Steven ,tracy’s fiencae got up. He lived near the home of tracy’s mom. He woke up with the alarm. He got dressed and headed out. 

Tracy had been awake sence five. She finaly got up. She found it hard to get to sleep and to stay asleep.  She wanted to really start getting ready for the wedding.  

Amber heard that someone was up. She figured that it was tracy. She decided to get up. They had been up for a bit when everyone arived. 

Matt was the first to arive. He parked and came in. “Morning matt!” Tracy said. He hugged his sister.  He saw amber. “Hi matt.” amber said. “Hi amber. ” he said. 

He got a cup of cofee. “I am not quite awake yet. I am getting there. ” matt said. ” hury up and wake up. I plan on putting you to work today and then some!” Tracy said. ” i figured.  I will be awake by the time we get to the church. ” he assured her. Tracy laughed. “I dont need your mind just your brute strength. ” Tracy said. “Understood. ” matt said. 

Steven came in. Steve hugged tracy. They held hands and hugged but did not kiss even on the cheeks. “I got to warn you steve, your fiencae is quite an authoritarian! ” matt said. 

“Only during weading preperation. ” she said. “Then she will return to sweet Tracy.  “Amber said. “I am always sweet. I just to make sure everything is going smoothly.  ” tracy said. Everyone laughed. 

Tracy and amber and two other sisters got to work on breakfast. There mom was the last to get up. She walk downstairs with there youngest sister. She was three years old.she was born just before her dad died. 

“Hi mom. ” matt said. ” hi Matthew.  ” Katherine lauthen said. “The girls are making breakfast. I am thinking it might be our last meal. ” matt said. “She is planing to get a lot done today. I think she will be determined to get her to do list done. ” the mom said. “We will get there. I want to see us getting the tasks for today done as well. ” matt said. 

He could tell that things were hard for his mom. She was stil fairly young. She was only in her late 40s.she stil had young kids. The three youngest were 8, 5 and 3. 

“Getting ready for a weading is always chaotic. I know myine was. I remember thinking the Monday before that we would never het everything done. The weading was great. It was everything i wanted it to be and more.  I know that that will be the case hear. This will be something that tracy and steven will never forget!” her mom said.  ” i hope so. I am. Going to do all i can to make it happen. ” he said.

“You have always been a good brother.  I know you will. I have full confidence in you Matthew.  I know tracy does as well. ” she said. “I want Tracy to have a great wedding.  I realy do. ” he told his mom. 

His sister marissa anounced that it was time for breakfast. They all went into the kitchen. Matt prayed for the food. Amber sat next to him. 

After breakfast they got ready to leave for the church. Mat’ two youngest brothers wanted to go with him.”can i ride with you Matt? ” amber asked. “Sure. I got two really silly boys ” he said. She chuckled. “Thats fine!” she said. 

She got in. “Hear it begins!” she said. “Its going to be a wild week. I have a feeling we will be all tired out before the wedding.  ” she said. ” we will make it. ” she said.

The car parked at the church. Everyone got out. Tracy had everyone gather in the halway. ” ok! Sense the auditorium is going to be used for the Wednesday midweek, we are going to focus on the downstairs. Upstairs rooms will be used for prayer time. We will start on the sancuary after the mid week service. We can work on decoration just not put them up. I realy want to go wild on downstairs. Mom ,amber marissa and i will work on the decorations. The guys wil be the muscles. ” she said. 

The girls got working on the decorations. While tracy got the guys together. She took out a peace of paper and laid it on a table. “Ok. I am thinking we will start with the tables we have and then get the others table. This is how i want it set up.  ” tracy said.

Tracy left to talk base with the ladies. They got right to work. Matt started to move tables.  He and steve were moving tables. They got the tables set up first.  They moved the existing tables.

When they used all of the tables in the fellowship hall they then got tables from other rooms. they got the nearest rooms first. They did not worry about chairs at first just the tables. 

“Nervous? ” matt asked steve. “A little bit. Even a mounth ago it seemed so far away. Now it is almost hear yet at the same time it still feels a long way off. It still does not feel real quite yet. I am excited. ” steve said. “It is all going to come together.  ” he said. 

After they got the tables set up,they orginiazed them acording to her floor plan. Then they brought in chairs using an old fashioned chair doly. They started setting up the chairs. 

Amber came down stairs. ” Steve we need a life verse for a poster . “she said.”i have several i like. “Steve said.”pick one.mrs green wants to make a postet of your life verses..she picked proverbs 3:5 and 6. ” amber said.”hebrews 10:39 ‘we are not of those who fall back unto perdition’s but those who believe to the saving of the soul. “Steve said. “Ok thanks.”she said.

A little while later,amber came back. “Mrs green sais she wants a verse thar is more positive. ” she said.”it is very posisitve. “Steve said. “Do you have a different life verse?”she asked. “Romans 1:17,”herin the righteousness of God is revealed form faith to faith as is written the just shal live by faith. “He said. “Ok that should work.” amber said.

“What would have happened if i picked,’our God is a consuming fire!'”?he asked. “I shutter to think. Mrs green is a dear saint of the lord. She does have her own ways of doing things. ” he told steve. He laughed.

After a while,tracy came back. “Hey matty can you take down everything hanging uo to make room for yhe decorations? “Tracy asked. “Everything ?” he asked. “Except for electtical stuff. “She said. “Ok.”he agreed.

A little while amber came back..”steve mrs green was wondering if she she can just put as it is writen the just shal live by faith?”she asked. “I really like the whole verse. What about context? Ok its fine”he said. “Thank you.”she said. 

“Hey matt would you be offended if we eloped?”steve asked. “I told you that was the way to go. “Matt said. 

After a while tracy went to matt.”matt mrs green wants to put wedding verses like he that finds a wife finds a good thing ‘i would rather not have those kibd of verses. Its seams buisy. I dont want an overloud. The wedding itaelf is the mesege not alll the ascetics.  “Tracy said. “Its your wedding trace. You can have it how you like. ” he said. “You will back me up on this?” she asked. “Of course.”he said. “Thank you.”tracy said. 

“Explain to her that you want to keep it bear bones. Simple.  ” he said. “I will. ” she said. 

“Tracy is particuler. “Steve said. “She can be. It usually certain things. She picks her battles.  When she cares about something, she realy  cares about it. ” he told him. “Understood. ” steve said.

They got everything down. They started putting things up. Things were already shaping up. People came in and out. 

Amber came in. “Matty i need sandwich order.  Eag salid or tuna?”she asked. “Tuna. “He said.”Tracy was prety sure you wouls ssay tunna. One or two?”she asked. “Two please. “He answered. “You got it. Steve tuna or eag?”amber asked. “Eag salid just one please.” he said. “You got it” she said. 

Everyone eat upstairs in the entry way. Matt prayed for the food.he sat next to amber. ” this is starting to take shape.”amber said. “It is. This is the first wedding at the church in ten years.  Its time. Hopfully it wont be another ten years before anpther one. ” he said. 

“It is alot of work. We have got a lot accomplished. We got a lot more time today. I think we atr ptety much on shedule. “Amber said. “I thought we were.  ” he said.

Steve went over to tracy. They hugged.  “I missed you.” steve said. “I missed you. I am sorry wr have not really goten to hang out. I havr kunda micromanaged everything.”she said.”its fine. We will plenty of time after the wedding. I figured it would be chaotic and hetic. Its fine. ” he said.  

“Are you sure hunnie?”tracy asked. “Im sure. ” he said. “I did not meen to ignore you. You giys are doing a really good job. Everyone is. I am happy how it is coming along. “Tracy said.”im glad.”he said.

The girls worked on decorations. Even the little kids helped albiet supervised. The men did the grunt work. They hung things up. They hung steramers and posters.

There mom decided to bring the kids home for a nap after two pm. At five they decided to call it a day. They accomplished quite a bit. They were just about right on shedule. 

Tracy just looked around the felowship hall. “This is great. Thanks everyone.”she said. 

Tracy went over to matt. She hugged him. “Thank you for your help today. You went above and beyound. Please don’t run of steam. I need for five more days. ” shr said.  “I understand.  I promise i wont.”he said. 

“Are you coming to the house?” amber asked. “Yes that is my plan. I plan on staying for supper. Tracy wants to play monopoly.  ” matt said. “Good i was hoping we could visit for a bit. I have not got to see you much today. Not really.”she said. “I know what you meen. Sounds like fun.” he said. 

“Unless your sick of me!” she said. “Not posible. “He said.” i really hope that’s true. “She told her. ” i am sure its is.” he answered.  

They had dinner at the home of the family matriark.  After the youngest kids requested amber read them a bed time story before they went to bed. 

“Amber realy is one of our family isn’t she?” he asked his mom. “She realy is. You know after this wedding we might never see her again. ” his mom said. 

His jaw dropped.  He had not realy considered that. “You realy think we might not see her again?” he asked. “Well she is living on the west coast. It sounds like her life seams to be centeted there. Its possible we might not. ” she said. 

He hated not ever seing her again. It pained him. He knew that was a posibility. She was heavily involved in the church and school there. She could advanced there. She could even meet someone and get maried and raise a family. 

They played a few games of minopoly. Then he and amber were sitting in the living room. “Do you think that after this week we might never see eachother again. Your life is bassed on the west coast now?” he remarked.

“I am not going to just abandon you.you are my family. I wont be a stranger.  “She assured him. “Good! As much as i tease you,i do really like you. I would hate to never see you again. ” he told her.  

“I feel the same way. Your family is just as much my family. I promise i wont be a stranger. ” she said. “Good.” he said.

They agreed to meet up at the house at eight and start things at nine at the church. Matt went to his house. He was tired and fell asleep.  

End of part five

Next up

Progress continues to be made in wedding preperations, things happen between amber and matt. 

Wedding party part four.

Six days until the wedding.

 Amber decided to visit her home church. She had not been back for a while. She was excited. To see everyone.  Tracy told her she could take the day off but be prepared to work on monday. She assured her that she would.  Tracy laughed. 

Matt got up sunday morning.  He showered then drabk cofee and had a light breakfast. He got ready for church.  He arived at the church and got ready for the service. 

He saw tracy at the church.  “Where is amber?” he asked. “She is at her home church.  She did say that she would come to our church tonight. She said you might want a break form her. ” Tracy said.

He laughed. He wanted to say never but did not. He just said something like “oh ok!” or something along those lines.  

Amber had a good time at her church.she was glad to see everyone. They were glad to see her. She was glad to catch up with old friends.  She enjoyed her life on the west coast working for the college but liked it hear in her home town. It would be hard to go back.  

Aftter church she went back to mrs. Davis’s home. She went inside. “Hello stranger. “Matt said. “Hi Matt.  “She said.”how was your church?”he asked.”it was good. I enjoyed seing everyone. “Amber said.

“So will be coming tonight?”matt said.”i will. I am excited to hear you preach again. ” amber told her. “I am glad your planing on comming. “He told her.

They went into the house. Everyone greated her. Amber helped tracy and his other sisters get lunch ready. Matt talked to steven tracy’s fiancée for a bit. 

They all sat down for dinner.matt liked that amber was there. It felt right.  She was a part of the family. He was glad she was hear. 

Dinner consisted of ham potatoe corn.there was aple pie for desert. After diner, mat went to his place to go over his sermon notes for a bit. Then he went to the church to set up. 

Poeole started to flood in. He left his office. He saw amber.  “Hi!” she said.he smiled. “Hi !” he said.  “Ready?” she asked. “I think so. ” he said. 

He started the service with announcements. “This week i will be kinda off kinda on. I will be preaching on Wednesday night. I will be in and out of the church this week.if you need to reach me you can try at the church or call my cell. You can also reach one of our deacons. I invite everyone to the wedding of my sister and steven brell. Our family is very excited. We will hope you will join us. ” he said. 

After a time of signing,  matt got up to preach. ” i want to talk tonight about our unchangible God. Hebrews tell us that he is the same yesterday, today and foever. The lord is consistent. He is a God of order.  He is a God of structure.  We can depend on him to never change his mind or standards. We can depend on his promises.  In galations, paul says that God never reniged on his promises to abraham. There were some within judism and in Christian circles that the mosaic law undid the abrahamic covinent. Paul says that nothing could undo the promises God made to Abraham.  God made this promise thousands of years ago. Because of His consistent character we can rely on that promise. ” he said. 

“The lord promised to never leave us or forsake us. We trust that because of his consistent character.  David said that he was young,now he was old but he had never seen the righteous forshaken. We trust that he will help us in the future because he helped us in the past. In first samual,the children of Israel put up a stone called ebanezer witch meens this far the lord has helped us. The implication is if God has helped us this far we trust that he will help us the rest of the way.  We look at what he has done for us in the past. ” 

“When moses was about to leave the scene, what do he do? He reiterated all that the lord had done. Joshua when he was about to die did the same. David at the end of his life told Solomon of Gods faithfulness. We can really on the lord because he has proven himself dependable.  ” he said. 

“We live in a world full of changes. It is said change is inevitable.  Life is changes. We are born babies. We grow, we learn to crall, walk and talk.we learn. We leave home. We gets jobs etc. Life is about change. We cant avoid it. We as Christians can realy on a God. Who does not.” he said.

“Our family and church have experienced changes. We began as a church that met in a motel. Then we perchased a building. Transformed it into a church. We went on the pastors fanily and 2 others to where we are. There were pitfalls trials. We did not know how it would turn out. My mom and dad trusted in the consistentcy of the lord. Faithful is he who promised who also will do it. ”

“Our family has seen changes. Myself and tracy and bryce have graduated high school and Tracy and i have graduated from bible colege. Bryce is in bible school. Kendra is about to start bible colege.  Tracy will soon be maried. The baby of the family will turn two. Life has seen changes. We lost our dad. Our pastor.  I steped into the pastor role. You saw fit to call me to be your pastor, God’s under shepherd hear in hagerville. Life has been full of changes some we see as positive some negitive. These did not take our lord by surprise.  We have seen his faithfulness in these events. We have learned from these events.  We have learned to trust in the lord.we have learned to trust in his unchanging character.  ”

“In lemantations Jeremiah weeps over the destruction of jerusalem. Judah was punished for its rebelliousness.  Judah fell to nubukanezzer and babylon. The whole book is a funeral durge for the nation. He says it is by Gods murcy that we are consumed every day. His murcy are new every morning.  Great is thy faithfulness.  Despite Israel’s rebellion against the lord. Despite his punishment on them, he would still be faithful.  At the end of saventy years they would be alowed to return. We see his faithfull consistent character. I rejoice in that. I depend on it.i know i can. ” he said. 

After the service, he closed the service.manny stayed behind and felowship. Matt mingled with various members and attenders. He had conversations with everyone. 

Amber mingled with various people. She had never attended hear on a regular bases. She knew people from her visits to the church . she lived in the area so she knew them from the town. Though she was not Baptist , she liked the church and liked the people in the church.  She always felt welconed hear. She never felt out of place even though she was a crazy charismatic.  

Many came up to matt and said what an encouragement his message was. Many could relate. Manny were experiencing changes. The mesege was very timely. 

After a while he saw amber. “Hi. I realy liked your mesege?” she said. “Thank you. It was not my original mesege for the night.  I could not focus. I kept thinking about evrtything. I decided to turn it into a summon . “he said. “It was a blessing. “She said. “Praise the lord!”he said.

“I missed your preaching. “She asked.”we post my surmons on line.”he said.”i will check them out. ” she said. 

At his moms house. “Ok i want everyone hear at eight a clock. Cofee will be on at 7:30. Breakfast will be served at 8:00. Then after breakfast we will go to the church after breakfast. We have alot of work to do.”tracy said. 

“This could be interesting.”matt said.”i get to be in charge.  “Tracy said.”i am not so sure about that.”matt said. They laughed.  

Matt stayed with his family for a while.then he went to his home. Again amber walked him to his car.they said there goodbyes.

End of part 4

 

Panic attack part 9

Previously  on  panic attack 

Jack the son of a pastor meets a young lady with a tragic past. At first she and her family are reluctent to accept him. After a time Kristin is wiling to pursue a relationship with her . she and her fanily put some stipulation on it. 

Jack was eating breakfast with his family. “So. Your mom and i were talking. We would like to get to know Kristin more. ” his pastor commented.

“We would like to have her over for supper. We were wondering if she could come tomorow night. ” his mom said. “I will invite her.” jack told his mom.

He figured that she would be open to coming over to dinner at some point. He had no idea of she would want to come over this soon.  He was almost afraid to ask her. He was not sure how his parents would feel if she declined or wanted a rain check.  He decided not to create a crises before it happened. 

Jack got ready for his day.  Then he dialed her number. “Hi krissy. ” jack said.  ” hi jack. How are you?” she asked.  ” good. How are you?” she asked. “Doing good.  Kris my parents were wondering if you could come over for dinner tomorrow.  ” he asked you.

“Tomorow?” she asked. “Yes. Is this too little prior nottice?” he asked. “No . yea i can come tomorow.  “She said.”awesome!  I will let mom know. ” he said. “Thank them for inviting me. ” she said.” i will do that. ” he said.

“I have to admit that i am really nervous. ” she admited. “I gathered  that.  It will be fine. They really like you. Mom and dad are realy great.  You have nothing to wory about.  I know it is going to go great. ” he assured her. 

“I do want to go. I. Just really nervous about it. I am just worried i will make a bad impresson. What if They dont think i am good enough of there little boy?” she remarked. “Now you know how i feel. I was so nervous when i came to diner at your house. ” he said. 

“I am not really good at this stuff. ” she said.  “It is really low pressure i promise.  Just relax. It will be ok. ” he said. “It is a good thing i love you and your cute!” she said. “You think im cute?” he asked. “Dont let it go to your head. Your not that cute?” she said laughing. He laughed.

“It really will be ok. ” he assured her. ” yea i know.  Ok i trust you. ” she said.”good.  I am really excited about this. I think it is going to be great. I really do. ” he said.  “Ok. I hope your right. ” she said.

After she hung up,  she went downstairs. “Are you ok kris?” ashly asked. “Yea. Jack’s perrents invited me to dinner tomorrow. ” she said. “Are you going to go?” her mom asked.  “I agreed to go. I hope i dont regret it. ” kristin said. “You seam realy nervous.  ” her mom said. “I guess i am. What if i say something stupid?” she asked.

“Well jack had to come to dinner with us. Its only fair that you have to go to dinner with them. ” her mom said. “I know. I am not really a good at this.  ” kris said.  “You will do fine.they already like you. You have there permission to date him. ” her mom said. “I realy want them to be my in laws someday. If i mess this up that might not happen. ” she said. “Dont worry about it. Just relax. You will do fine.  “Ashly said.

 Friday night came. It got close to being the time to go to the rayburn’s.she decided to wate a pink sweater with a gray skirt. She wore black shoes. She braded her hair. She went downstairs.  “Do i look ok?” she asked.  “You look great.  ” ashly asked.”you sure? ” she asked. “You look fine kris!” her mom said. 

She took a deep breath.  She huged her mom and sister. She went to her car. She got in. She drove to the home of the rayburns. 

 The jeep she drove pulled up at the  home of the pastor and his family. She hoped she had a few secconds to take a deep breath. She was sighted. Jack watched for him at the window. He walked out of the home. 

He walked over to her. He smiled and she smiled back. “You look realy nice tonight. ” he said. “Thank you. ” she said. He hugged her. They walked inside. 

“Hi kristin. ” mrs rayburn said.  “Thank you for inviting me. ” kristin told them. “Our plesure. We have wanted to have you over for a while now.  “Pastor rayburn said. “I asked jack if you had any alergies or was vegiterian or anything like that. ” his mom said.”i dont have any algeries. I am not picky at al. “Kristin said. ” i did not think so. ” mrs. Rayburn said. 

 The rayburns had five children aside from jack. Jack was the oldest at age 24 and the youngest was a year old. Kristin was seated next to jack and his sister kate. They serrved lasagna whitch she loved. 

 “So i hope Timothy and rachele are minding you well during there piano lessons?” mrs rayburn said.”they are doing very well. I am happy to them. I cant wait to start teaching anna. Someday little merissa. ” kristin said. 

“Mayby you can teach jack to play the piano.  ” his brother Philip suggested. “Yea. You dont want that. I think the two piano teachers decided to retire after trying to teach me. “Jack said. “He is the only rayburn in the family that does not play an instrament. ” kate said. “Aside from myself.  ” pastor rayburn said. 

” everyone has unique abilities.  Not everyone has to play a musical instrament. ” kristin said. “I can play the radio. ” jack said. “I am an avid radio player.  ” pastor rayburn said. The family laughed.

“My poor family has heard my corny jokes alot. It is nice to meet someobe who has bot heard them. ” pastor rayburn said. ” you dont have to tell them all at once. ” mrs rayburn said.they all laughed. 

” “so how do you like our church?” kate asked. “I really like it. Our whole family does. Everyone has been really great. ” Kristin said. “We enjoy your whole family.  Your family has been a great adition to the family. “Pastor rayburn said. “Thank you.  ” kristin said. 

“We try to have a family atmosphere at church. ” mrs. Rayburn said. “You really do. We apreciate how everyone went out of there way to make us feel welcomed. “Kristin said. 

The night was going well. Kristin enjoyed being with jack’s family.  ” so has dad checked your doctrinal satement?” Philip asked. “No i dont think that i dissagre on doctrine.  I read from king james bible,only wear dreses or skirts. I dont subscribe to penticostal or reformed theology. I am not neo evengelical and believe in separated from rommon catholism. ” Kristin said. “He is kidding with you. ” kate said. She laughed.  

“You dont listen to klove do you?” phil asked. Oh no she thought. She does listen to klove. She squeeze jack’s hand. ” you will have to excuse Phil.  He is stil young and does not always know when things are appropriate. ” jack said.

Then jack changd the conversation. As they had desert she  forget to take her anti dipresents.”oh no?” she thought.  She left it at home.she started to panic.  She got qiet. 

After a while, he went after to her. ” hunnie?  Are you ok?” jack asked. ” i forgot to take my antidipresent. ” she said.  “Are you ok? ” jack asked. “I think so.  ” she said. 

After spending time with the family they went to the steps. ” im sory i listen to k love. I know i probably should not. Thank you for helping me out. ” she said. ” no problem.  What are boyfriends for?” he asked. ” i hate that you have to cover for me! ” she said.  

“Its fine. ” he said. ” i should realy get back” she said. “You dont have..  oh ok.”he said. He remembered there rule. She went inside and thanked them for there hospitility. They thanked her for coming. He walked her to her car.

 His patents did not know anything was ary. ” you two make a cute couple.”mrs. Rayburn said.  “I think so.” jack said. “You really like her?” his dad asked. “I do. ” he said. 

Later that night she called. “Sory i left abruptly. “She said. “Its fine. ” he said.”are you sure? ” she asked. “Yes i am sure. ” he said.  

To be continued.