End of sorrow part 10

The next day , Andrew woke up. He got ready for work. Today he made sure he brought his phone.  He texted her before he clocked in. “Good morning ab. I miss you.  I hope you have a good day. ” he told her. 

She saw the text after she woke up.she smiled. She texted him back. “Good morning babe. I miss you too.hope you have a great day. Talk to you in a bit. ” she told him in her text.

They texted back and forth though out the day.  He did not carry his cell phone while he was working. He checked his phone on his breaks.  They corresponded all thoughout his shifts on his off time.  

She could not help wondering if he realy liked texting her? She feared he might just be overcompensating for yesterday.  She knew he liked her. Was he Just lonely?  She wanted him to be wowed by her. He was just not there. 

He calked her on his lunch break. “Hi hunnie, tonight is my churches midweek service. It is usualy a message folowed by prayer time. The men and women split up.  Want to come? ” he asked. 

“Yes. Sure. ” she said. “Great. It starts at six. ” he said. “Ok. Sounds good. ” she said. When she hung up the phone.  She started to have seccond thoughts. She did not know anyone besides andrew. She had talk to his mom and sisters. Probably she could pray with them. 

Then something else occured to her. Clark and jacky would be there. Would they be ok with her being there. Would they be uncomfortable seing the man who almost became there son in law with someone else. What if jacky was in her prayer group. This could be really akward. 

They were becoming close. If they decide to get maried this will probably become there home church. She would have to get though the awkwardness eventually any ways. Why not start now? 

She decided not to burden andrew with her anxiety. The fact he invited her was a huge step. He wanted her in his world. He was letting her in. She was glad of that. She wanted to be in his world.  She figured that this was as good a time as any to get though the awkwardness.  

 She met up with him right before the service. She wore a pink shirt and pink skirt and sandles. “Do i look independent fundamental Baptist enough? “She asked. “Your fine. Everyone knows your penticoastal. Well baby gracie might not but everyone else does. “He said 

“Do i send out chariamatic vibes or did you tell them?”she asked. “It came out.  “He said. They got into his car. They drovde on to church. 

“Are you nervous abby?”he asked. “A little.”she said. “You have been hear before. We are all one family. “He tried to assured her. She did not want to say anything but that was what worried her. 

He parked the car. They went inside. She tried not to be nerved on. She knew that she was.  They walked inside.  Most everyone remembered her from the picnic. She figured out very early on that this was a friendly church. She would become very close with manny in the church. 

She liked the pastor’s message.  She was not sure what to do. Andrews’s mom invited her to join her and two of his sisters..she folowed them downstairs.  

Jacky jouned there group. “Hi its abby right?”she asked. “Yes. Your jacky? “She asked. “It is good to see you again.” jacky remarked. “It is good to see you.” abby answered. 

They went  around the group and prayed. Abby felt a bit out of place. She was a prayer worier. She liked smal group prayer. It worked out. 

“So how do you like our church?”jacky asked. “I like it. It is different form what i am used to but i like it. ” she said. ” we are glad you could come. ” his mom said. 

“So its is nice to see andrew smiling again.  Its has been a long time. “Jacky said. “It certently is.i had a feeling he was still around. ” Andrews’s mom said. 

Abby felt like jacky was reaching out to her. It was so akward. It never occured that liane’s parents might attend the same church that he attended. 

She walked upstairs with Andrews’s mom. “I am so glad you came tonight abby.  I am really looking forward to getting to know you. ” his mom said. “Thank you. I am looking forward to getting to know you. “Abby said.

“He really is smiling again. He totaly shut down after liane died. He was stil existing.  He is himself again. I missed the old andrew.  I know it cant be easy for you. “His mom said. “Not always.  I think the world of your son. I really do. I care about him a great deal. ” abby said. “I know that. ” she said. 

As they neared the sanctuary his mom wispered something in her ear. “Abby! Welcome to the family!” his mom told abby. Abby smiled. “Thank you!” abby said. 

She saw andrew. She took her hand. He smiled. The pastor closed the meeting.  They were dismissed.  They went to his car. “I am so glad that you came tonight. ” andrew told her. “I am glad i came too. Are you going to come to my church Saturday night?” she asked.  “definitely!  Are you comming to church Sunday night?” he asked. “Yes absolutely! ” she answered. “Awsome! “He said. 

She looked at him. He smilled.”what? ” he asked.  “You are happy aren’t you? ” she asked. He smiled. “I am happy.  I am very happy. Are you ab?” he asked.  She hugged him. “Verry!” she said. 

That saterday they met up just before her church.  He wore a pollo shirt and jeens. She wore a green shirt and denim skirt and sandles. He took her hand and they got in his car. 

They arived and went to the sanctuary.  She talked to friends of hers. She introduced him as her boyfriend.  He was starting to get use to that. He stil felt out of place but hopped that would subside.

He could tell that abby realy liked the worship time. She loved to sing. She loved contemporary style praise and worship music. She was dancing and rasing her hands. He did sing along but did not raise his hands.  

He liked the messege from the pastor.it was a totaly different culture.this was verry foregn to him.he felt that she probably felt the same way. 

She was happy he came. She loved that they were becoming more of a part of eachother’s world. 

That Sunday the pastor found him.”andrew can i talk to you for a minute?” the pastor asked. “Sure!” he said. They went to his office. “Anne’s dad is going to have knee surgery. He is going to be layed up for a couple of months.  All of her siblings have moved away. Her mom is in a nursing home. Anne is going to care for him. That means going to Missouri.  Neither one of us wants to be apart. Do the kids stay hear or go with her? I am thinking about going with her. I talk to the deacons. I would like to have an acting pastor while i am gone. I have not totaly made a decision.  Would you be intetested in asuming the pastoral duties including preaching while i am gone?” he asked.

“Yes i am. I have been considering getting back on the pastoral tract. ” he admited. “I thought you had. It is time to get back on the satle. “Pastor jeff bail said. “If you decide to take a leave i am wiling to help out. ” he said “excellent.  The deacons are all on bored. I am going to talk it over with ann and pray over it. We will keep in touch. ” bail told him. 

End of part 10

Next up 

Andrew works on getting back to preperation for full time ministry. A chance meeting between jacky and abby creates more friction between her and andrew. 

Wedding party part six 

Four days until the wedding

With the progress made the day before,tracy decided to begin work at nine. Tracy was up at 7:30. She put the cofee on. 

Amber heared someone up. She gaused that it was probably tracy. She came down stairs. “Morning sunshine!” tracy said. ” i knew that you weref up. ” amber said.

“So # thoughts are swiming in my head. I am surprised i got this much sleep. ” tracy said. Amber laughed. 

“This is all going to come together trace. It is going to be a great wedding. One you will never forget!” amber assured her. 

 “You had better keep in touch amber. ” tracy said. “I mwill.” amber said. “He cares abourt you. ” Tracy said. “I know he does. Odd he did not like me for the longest time. ” amber said.

“He is a private person. He always has been. He is not one to wear his heart on his sleve. You are special to him. There is nothing he would not do for you. ” tracy said. “I have never doubted that. ” she said. 

Matt woke up at 7:30.  He took a shower and got ready to go. He got in his car.  He headed to the home of his parents.  He parked and went inside. 

He went inside. “You dont look awake? ” tracy commented. ” i am noy but i am getting there. ” he said. He got a cup of cofee. 

After a while Steven arived. They had breakfast then got ready to go to the church. They arived at the church.  

Tracy took inventory of what was done the day before.  She looked at what was accomplished the day before in order to plan where to go from there.  

She then went upstairs and looked at the sanctuary.  She looked at her floor plan. She looked at the posters and decorations that had already been made. He started to make a list of things to get done. 

Tracy called a meeting. Everyone met in the foyer. “Are you alowed to call a meeting tracy?”matt asked. “Probably not. Can you call a meeting? “She asked. He laughed. “Ok people!  Gather around. ” he said.

All of a suden matt got weapy. He remebered his dad calling family meetings. The meetings were usualy getting ready to go somewhere manny times on vacation. He tried to hide the tears. He did not wear his heart on his sleve. 

“Ok so tracy what is the plan for the day? ” he asked her. “Ok i want the guys to work on the latice work for down stairs felowship hall. We will continue making decorations.  ” tracy said. 

Amber walked with matt as he walked outside.  “You ok matt?” she asked.  “Yea im ok. I thought about a phrase dad used to use. It took me by surprise.  Its bound to happen this week. ” he said.

They neared the door. She hugged him. “Hold on to those memories. Dont forget the good times. ” she told him. “Ok! I wont. Thank you. ” he told her. She huged him tightly before letting him go. “I will talk to you later.” she said. “You got it. ” he said. 

Steve and matt got to work on the lattice work. They got to work making tracy’s dream a reality. They set up what would be a gate around the tables in the fellowship hall. There would be a gazebo like structure near the end table. This was where the wedding party would come in. They could have there pictures taken there. 

They got several structure built and then would bring it down stairs. From there they would set up and interconnected.  The gazebo was the hard part. The platform was set up first downstairs. Then the rest was built outside and then brought downstairs. This kept the guys buisy. 

The girls worked on decorations and posters and sutch. The kid’s mom arived with there younger siblings at ten. They worked on various decorations and the like. 

Down stairs things were really shaping up. Amber came downstairs to him. “Matt is toasted cheese sandwitches and tomato soup ok?” amber asked. “Yea thats great. ” he answered. ” great. We are getting ready to lunch. This looks really good. Tracy will love it. ” she said.

“You like it?” he asked. “I really do. You are going to have to work on ny wedding. ” amber said. “We will see about that. Do i have to pray over it first?” he asked. “Yes it must be blesed with tounges. ” she said. ” oy veh!” he said. She laughed. “I will be back when lunch is ready! ” she said. 

He found himself tensing up. The thought of her getting maried. He knew she would get maried. She would be a great wife. He was fully confident that she would get maried.he just did not want to think about. 

Eventually she would meet someone. Probably penticostal. Probably someone at the college she worked at.he got sad. He wanted her to marry him. He went from disliking her to becoming cordial but stil dissent.  From cordial to friendly acquaintance.  Then they became friends. He develped a crush on her but he never mentioned it. They had moved on. She was on the other side of the united states with a life of her own. Things were different now. He would have to accept that.

What he did not know was that she was thinking the same thing. At first he was simply tracy’s brother. She did not give him much thought. Then she realized that he did not like her. Then they came at peace with eachother. Then they became friends in time. She liked him. She never told him. 

She did not the thought of marying someone that was not him. She equally did not like the idea of him marying someone else. She dreaded going back west. This was her home. She knew that she would head back to the west coast after the wedding.

When dinner was ready,  amber got everyone.  They eat in the halway.  Amber sat next to matt of course. “Hi there!” she said. He laughed.  ” hi amber!” he said. 

“Things are coming together.  ” amber said. “They are realy are. I am glad that is. ” he said. “We will all be tired out come sunday but thats ok. ” she said.  “I have a feeling that is true. ” she said. 

After dinner the guys got back to work on the latice work. The girls continued to work on decorations. 

Tracy went down stairs to look at the felowship hall. She started to cry. “This is beutifull! I love it.  Steve, matt thank you. ” she said. 

They stoped at 5:00. Everyone was tired. They went back to the house. They had supper. 

“What the plan for tomorrow? ” there brother phil asked. “I want to get the felowship hall finished and the halway. We probably should quit at 4:30 . church is at 6:00. ” tracy said. They all agreed. 

“Thursday will be sanctuary.  Friday the caterers arive. We finish everything then rehersial. ” tracy said.”what time are we starting? “Matt asked. ” we will push for eight.  Come by hear at 7:30 cofee will be on at seven. ” Tracy said.

Matt said his goodnight to everyone. Amber walked him to his car. This had become a tradition for them during the week. She hugged him. She watched him leave.

Amber went over to the family matriark. “Hi amber! ” she said. “So how are you doing with all of this?” amber asked. “Its hard. Tracy is my oldest daughter. Seems like yesterday she was a baby.  I am not ready for her to be all grown up. I miss there farther.  I has started to move on but this has brought it all back. ” she said.

“I know it must be hard.  “Amber said.”it is. It would have been any ways. Without him it is hard. I keep looking for him. ” she said. “Im sorry. ” amber said. “Thank you . ” she said.

After a while everyone started to go to bed. The wedding was nearing. They had a lot to do but they had done alot. 

End of part six. 

Next up 

The family works on finising up the felowship hall.  There is the wendsday service. Things continue to develop between matt and amber. 

Panic attack part 11

When jack first met Kristen, something was stired in him. He could not understand it. It was so unlike him. He could not ignore it.  At first it seemed that she did not feel the same way about him. 

Kristin and him decided to date. The more time he spent with her the more he felt for her. She slowly let down her gaurd.  She sowly trusted him more and more. He saw that. 

Then there was the day she helped him change the oil on his car.  That was a turning point . he saw what maried life with her would be like. They would laugh together smile together, work together,  pray together and yes cry together.  They would do it togerher. 

He loved being with her. Even disagreements would not doom there relationships.  He felt positive while driving home from her house.

He had a colection of hyims on cd from a Christian college on his way home. He parked the car. He walked to the door. He walked inside. 

 Most of the family stared at him. “Oh no! She posted pics of us changing the oil didn’t she?” he asked. “Yes. She did.  You two are really cute.” his mom said. 

“You did not want her to post them?” hsis dad asked. “No its fine. It was a little embarrassing.  It was fun. We had a good time interacting with eachother while doing it. ” jack admitted. 

“You got a lot of likes. Including from both sets if grandparents.” his mom said ” papa Grammy, grampa and nana saw it?” he asked.” yes they did.” his Merissa answered. His siblings laughed.

He thought to himself, “man i am realy going to get teased. ” he figuted he was never going to be able to live this one down. 

She started to trust him. She got closer and closer to him.she did start to let her gaurd down. She grew more wiling to be vannerable around him. She found him to be sweet. He was kind and caring. 

She had no idea what he would be like. The more she got to know him the more she liked.  She looked forward to getting to know him more. 

At the midweek service he saw her. His eyies met hers. Her face went from serious to smiling. “Hi babe!” she said. He smiled . “hi. ” he said.

They sat down. “You got raked over the coals? ” she remarked. “Yes i know. I would not change it for anything. It was a good bonding experience.” he said. “Told you ” she said.

They decided to get together on saterday. They met in a park for a picnic. She made a. Bunch of chicken salid sandwitch and desert. She wore a brown sweter and back and gray skirt and flip flops. 

“Beautiful day today? ” he remarked.”it really is. Not a single cloud in the sky. Sun is shinning.  ” she said. 

After dinner they played several rounds of volley ball. ” i was on the high schhol soccer team. ” she said. “Did you go to public school?” he asked. “I did. I went to a Christian school until secvond grade then went to public school. ” she said.

“I was home schooled. ” he said. “All 12 years?” she asked. “All 12 years!” he answered.  ” i cant imagine never going to a formal school. ” she said.”i cant imagane going to a formal school. “He answered. ” i gues that makes sence. ” she said. 

“You played sports?”he asked. “I loved playing sports. Did you play sports at bible college?” she asked. “Intermural.  We have sports teams that play other schools and tournaments but i never played on them. ” he said.

“Not a sports guy?” she asked. “Oh i love sports. I like playing sports. Playing professional sports is probably not in my future. I will stick to pastoring. ” he said. “Ok.” she said. 

“I do enjoy shooting a basketball or hiting a voley ball etc. I find it therapeutic.  ” he said. “I do too. When i got out of the hospital , i spent houers outside playing basketball.  Ash and mom were woried about me . it was my way to coupe. ” she said. “Understandible. There is no right or wrong way to mourn or coupe or heal. Everyone does it differently. “He said. 

“I stil have healing to do. ” she said. He took her hand. “I know. I am hear for you. Always. Whatever you need whenever.  I am hear for you. I want to help you heal. “He assured her. “Thank you. “She squeezed   his hand. He squeezed it back. 

“Its hard to talk to my mom and sisters. They worry about me. They want me to be ok. They worry if im not totaly alright i will become realy depressed or a danger to myself. The truth is im not ok but im ok. If that makes sense.  ” she said. 

“It does make perfect sense. Its there job to worry. You can understand why. You can always talk to me. I promise i wont judge. I want you to feel free to be honest. ” he said. 

“I want to be ok. I really do. ” he said.”i know. You dont have to be strong. You dont have to be ok. We can work though this together.  ” he told her. “Ok. “She said.

They got talking about various things.she just stoped. She got frantic. “You ok kriss?” he asked. “What is the date today?” she asked. “May 27th. “He said. ” oh no. I got to go home. ” she said. “What is it?” he asked.

“Today is the day that dad died. I just want to be alone. ” she said.   “Ok.”he said. They packed everything up. They put everything away in the car. 

She did not say mutch on the way home. He pulled in her driveway.she had just shut down. “Call me when you want to. ” he said. “Ok” she said.she then went inside. 

He drove home.  ” your home early. “His mom said. “She wanted to get home.   “He said.  “You ok son?” his dad asked. “Yea im fine.  ” he said. 

He felt like they were nearing a breakthrough.  Then it was all over. He had no idea how to deal with it or what to do now.

End of part 11

Wedding party part five

Five days till wedding.  

Matt’s alarm went off at 7:00. He got up and hit the shower. He got dressed . he wore jeens and a blue t shirt. He put on a blue coat. He headed out. It was a little chilly but it he figured it would warm up. 

Steven ,tracy’s fiencae got up. He lived near the home of tracy’s mom. He woke up with the alarm. He got dressed and headed out. 

Tracy had been awake sence five. She finaly got up. She found it hard to get to sleep and to stay asleep.  She wanted to really start getting ready for the wedding.  

Amber heard that someone was up. She figured that it was tracy. She decided to get up. They had been up for a bit when everyone arived. 

Matt was the first to arive. He parked and came in. “Morning matt!” Tracy said. He hugged his sister.  He saw amber. “Hi matt.” amber said. “Hi amber. ” he said. 

He got a cup of cofee. “I am not quite awake yet. I am getting there. ” matt said. ” hury up and wake up. I plan on putting you to work today and then some!” Tracy said. ” i figured.  I will be awake by the time we get to the church. ” he assured her. Tracy laughed. “I dont need your mind just your brute strength. ” Tracy said. “Understood. ” matt said. 

Steven came in. Steve hugged tracy. They held hands and hugged but did not kiss even on the cheeks. “I got to warn you steve, your fiencae is quite an authoritarian! ” matt said. 

“Only during weading preperation. ” she said. “Then she will return to sweet Tracy.  “Amber said. “I am always sweet. I just to make sure everything is going smoothly.  ” tracy said. Everyone laughed. 

Tracy and amber and two other sisters got to work on breakfast. There mom was the last to get up. She walk downstairs with there youngest sister. She was three years old.she was born just before her dad died. 

“Hi mom. ” matt said. ” hi Matthew.  ” Katherine lauthen said. “The girls are making breakfast. I am thinking it might be our last meal. ” matt said. “She is planing to get a lot done today. I think she will be determined to get her to do list done. ” the mom said. “We will get there. I want to see us getting the tasks for today done as well. ” matt said. 

He could tell that things were hard for his mom. She was stil fairly young. She was only in her late 40s.she stil had young kids. The three youngest were 8, 5 and 3. 

“Getting ready for a weading is always chaotic. I know myine was. I remember thinking the Monday before that we would never het everything done. The weading was great. It was everything i wanted it to be and more.  I know that that will be the case hear. This will be something that tracy and steven will never forget!” her mom said.  ” i hope so. I am. Going to do all i can to make it happen. ” he said.

“You have always been a good brother.  I know you will. I have full confidence in you Matthew.  I know tracy does as well. ” she said. “I want Tracy to have a great wedding.  I realy do. ” he told his mom. 

His sister marissa anounced that it was time for breakfast. They all went into the kitchen. Matt prayed for the food. Amber sat next to him. 

After breakfast they got ready to leave for the church. Mat’ two youngest brothers wanted to go with him.”can i ride with you Matt? ” amber asked. “Sure. I got two really silly boys ” he said. She chuckled. “Thats fine!” she said. 

She got in. “Hear it begins!” she said. “Its going to be a wild week. I have a feeling we will be all tired out before the wedding.  ” she said. ” we will make it. ” she said.

The car parked at the church. Everyone got out. Tracy had everyone gather in the halway. ” ok! Sense the auditorium is going to be used for the Wednesday midweek, we are going to focus on the downstairs. Upstairs rooms will be used for prayer time. We will start on the sancuary after the mid week service. We can work on decoration just not put them up. I realy want to go wild on downstairs. Mom ,amber marissa and i will work on the decorations. The guys wil be the muscles. ” she said. 

The girls got working on the decorations. While tracy got the guys together. She took out a peace of paper and laid it on a table. “Ok. I am thinking we will start with the tables we have and then get the others table. This is how i want it set up.  ” tracy said.

Tracy left to talk base with the ladies. They got right to work. Matt started to move tables.  He and steve were moving tables. They got the tables set up first.  They moved the existing tables.

When they used all of the tables in the fellowship hall they then got tables from other rooms. they got the nearest rooms first. They did not worry about chairs at first just the tables. 

“Nervous? ” matt asked steve. “A little bit. Even a mounth ago it seemed so far away. Now it is almost hear yet at the same time it still feels a long way off. It still does not feel real quite yet. I am excited. ” steve said. “It is all going to come together.  ” he said. 

After they got the tables set up,they orginiazed them acording to her floor plan. Then they brought in chairs using an old fashioned chair doly. They started setting up the chairs. 

Amber came down stairs. ” Steve we need a life verse for a poster . “she said.”i have several i like. “Steve said.”pick one.mrs green wants to make a postet of your life verses..she picked proverbs 3:5 and 6. ” amber said.”hebrews 10:39 ‘we are not of those who fall back unto perdition’s but those who believe to the saving of the soul. “Steve said. “Ok thanks.”she said.

A little while later,amber came back. “Mrs green sais she wants a verse thar is more positive. ” she said.”it is very posisitve. “Steve said. “Do you have a different life verse?”she asked. “Romans 1:17,”herin the righteousness of God is revealed form faith to faith as is written the just shal live by faith. “He said. “Ok that should work.” amber said.

“What would have happened if i picked,’our God is a consuming fire!'”?he asked. “I shutter to think. Mrs green is a dear saint of the lord. She does have her own ways of doing things. ” he told steve. He laughed.

After a while,tracy came back. “Hey matty can you take down everything hanging uo to make room for yhe decorations? “Tracy asked. “Everything ?” he asked. “Except for electtical stuff. “She said. “Ok.”he agreed.

A little while amber came back..”steve mrs green was wondering if she she can just put as it is writen the just shal live by faith?”she asked. “I really like the whole verse. What about context? Ok its fine”he said. “Thank you.”she said. 

“Hey matt would you be offended if we eloped?”steve asked. “I told you that was the way to go. “Matt said. 

After a while tracy went to matt.”matt mrs green wants to put wedding verses like he that finds a wife finds a good thing ‘i would rather not have those kibd of verses. Its seams buisy. I dont want an overloud. The wedding itaelf is the mesege not alll the ascetics.  “Tracy said. “Its your wedding trace. You can have it how you like. ” he said. “You will back me up on this?” she asked. “Of course.”he said. “Thank you.”tracy said. 

“Explain to her that you want to keep it bear bones. Simple.  ” he said. “I will. ” she said. 

“Tracy is particuler. “Steve said. “She can be. It usually certain things. She picks her battles.  When she cares about something, she realy  cares about it. ” he told him. “Understood. ” steve said.

They got everything down. They started putting things up. Things were already shaping up. People came in and out. 

Amber came in. “Matty i need sandwich order.  Eag salid or tuna?”she asked. “Tuna. “He said.”Tracy was prety sure you wouls ssay tunna. One or two?”she asked. “Two please. “He answered. “You got it. Steve tuna or eag?”amber asked. “Eag salid just one please.” he said. “You got it” she said. 

Everyone eat upstairs in the entry way. Matt prayed for the food.he sat next to amber. ” this is starting to take shape.”amber said. “It is. This is the first wedding at the church in ten years.  Its time. Hopfully it wont be another ten years before anpther one. ” he said. 

“It is alot of work. We have got a lot accomplished. We got a lot more time today. I think we atr ptety much on shedule. “Amber said. “I thought we were.  ” he said.

Steve went over to tracy. They hugged.  “I missed you.” steve said. “I missed you. I am sorry wr have not really goten to hang out. I havr kunda micromanaged everything.”she said.”its fine. We will plenty of time after the wedding. I figured it would be chaotic and hetic. Its fine. ” he said.  

“Are you sure hunnie?”tracy asked. “Im sure. ” he said. “I did not meen to ignore you. You giys are doing a really good job. Everyone is. I am happy how it is coming along. “Tracy said.”im glad.”he said.

The girls worked on decorations. Even the little kids helped albiet supervised. The men did the grunt work. They hung things up. They hung steramers and posters.

There mom decided to bring the kids home for a nap after two pm. At five they decided to call it a day. They accomplished quite a bit. They were just about right on shedule. 

Tracy just looked around the felowship hall. “This is great. Thanks everyone.”she said. 

Tracy went over to matt. She hugged him. “Thank you for your help today. You went above and beyound. Please don’t run of steam. I need for five more days. ” shr said.  “I understand.  I promise i wont.”he said. 

“Are you coming to the house?” amber asked. “Yes that is my plan. I plan on staying for supper. Tracy wants to play monopoly.  ” matt said. “Good i was hoping we could visit for a bit. I have not got to see you much today. Not really.”she said. “I know what you meen. Sounds like fun.” he said. 

“Unless your sick of me!” she said. “Not posible. “He said.” i really hope that’s true. “She told her. ” i am sure its is.” he answered.  

They had dinner at the home of the family matriark.  After the youngest kids requested amber read them a bed time story before they went to bed. 

“Amber realy is one of our family isn’t she?” he asked his mom. “She realy is. You know after this wedding we might never see her again. ” his mom said. 

His jaw dropped.  He had not realy considered that. “You realy think we might not see her again?” he asked. “Well she is living on the west coast. It sounds like her life seams to be centeted there. Its possible we might not. ” she said. 

He hated not ever seing her again. It pained him. He knew that was a posibility. She was heavily involved in the church and school there. She could advanced there. She could even meet someone and get maried and raise a family. 

They played a few games of minopoly. Then he and amber were sitting in the living room. “Do you think that after this week we might never see eachother again. Your life is bassed on the west coast now?” he remarked.

“I am not going to just abandon you.you are my family. I wont be a stranger.  “She assured him. “Good! As much as i tease you,i do really like you. I would hate to never see you again. ” he told her.  

“I feel the same way. Your family is just as much my family. I promise i wont be a stranger. ” she said. “Good.” he said.

They agreed to meet up at the house at eight and start things at nine at the church. Matt went to his house. He was tired and fell asleep.  

End of part five

Next up

Progress continues to be made in wedding preperations, things happen between amber and matt. 

Panic attack part ten 

Previously on painic attack.

A car acident takes the life of Kristen’s farther. She is hospitalized for an extended stay. She sufferes form emotional trauma including anxiety and depression. 

 At first she was not interested in a romantic relationship. Aftet meeting jack a pastor’s son,she decided to give it a try. In manny ways they are very different. They are slowly learning how to relate to her.

Jack was working on a sermon when his phone rang. He realized it was Kristen. “Hey krissy.”he said. “Hey can you come over for super on Thursday? ” she asked. “Thirsday is fine. I have to get an oil change but i should done by 3:00 or so.”he said.

“Woa. What? “She asked. “I should be done by 3:00! “He said.  “No before that?”she asked. ” i have to have the ouk changed on my car. “He said.

“Your going to have a gerage do it?”she asked.  “I usually do! Why?”he asked. “Come by early. I will do it. “She said.” wait? You change oil?”he asked. “Yea i change the oil on the jeep or mom’s Car all the time. Bring your by and we can do it together. Just bring cloth’s to change into it. “She said. 

“Are you sure?”he asked. “I will very upset if you take it to the gerage.  ” she said. “How is it you know how to change the oil in a car? Your the girliest girl i know.you must own stock in nail polish!” he said.

“My dad did not have any sons just me and my three sisters.  He called it life skils. He taught us a bunch of stuff. I know how to change a tire and build a shack. ” she said.

” oh! I dont know how to do any of that. Although i am prety sure i coukd build a shack.” he said. “So come by around three. This will be fun. Consider it a bounding experience. “She said.

“Ok. I can do that. “He said. “Cool. This will be fun i promise. ” she said. “Oh ok. I trust you!” he said. 

On Thirsday he brought his car by. She told him to drive it into the gerage.  He did so. She wore coverall.  Her hair whitch was usualy down was in a phony tail. “Yes i am not wearing a skirt but this is only when i work on cars. ” she said.

“I did not say anything.  ” he said. She chuckled. She had everything ready. She went underneath the car. He watched her. “Pay close attention Next time your going to do it and i will watch. ” she said. “Ok! You got it.” he answered. 

He wacthed her do it. “Why do you have a jeep?  “He asked. “I like it. It is a 2002. I likes jeep. Someday i hope my family expands. I have always liked jeeps i gues. ” she said.” i was just curious. ” he said.

“Your not really a car person are yo”she asked. ” i like cars. I like getting from point A to point b. Other then that not too much. ” he told her. “I figured. I am not a huge car girl but i like cars. “She said. 

They finished up changing the oil. They left the car. He got up. He ofered her his hand and she took it. He helped her up. 

“Promise me you will never take it to the garage.  I  will find out. Be sure your sins will find you out. Yes it is a sin. Never pay for something you can easily do yourself. ” she told him. “Ok i got it. I wont. “He said. She chuckled.

“I never thought my girlfriend would change oil. ” he said. “Before you know it,you will be a pro of this. “She said. “Mayby you can teach me to play piano. “He said.”if you want to learn i could teach you. ” she said. “We will see. ” he said.

“I realy like you jack. ” kristin said. He smilled. “I realy like you. ” he said. “If you want to change you can use the first bathroom to the right. I will see you in a bit. “She said. “Ok. ” he said. She kissed him on the cheek.  Then they dispersed.

He changed into tan pants and a blue dress shirt. He put his other cloths into a bag. He went back to the garage and put them in his car. He went back upstairs. 

He went to the living room.”hello mrs greener.  ” jack said. “Please sit. Its Diane.  ” she said. He sat down. “Did you get your oil changed?” she asked.”i did. I was suprised kristin knew how to do it. ” he said.

“My husband felt that it was importent for my daughters to know certain life skils. Not that they had to use it but they had to be able to. They all took to it. Especialy kris and ash. Jared wanted a boy but he loved his daughters.  Kris was the closest child to him. She was his little side kick.  She used to tea parties with her stufed animals by the garage.  They would be interupted in order to get him a ranch. ” she said.

“I got the impresson they were close. I have tried to avoid the issue. I dont want to upset her. ” he said. “Jared was a good man. Definitely a family man. ” she said. 

“She is different today. Was this how she was before?”he asked. “She was very bubly. You are starting to bring it out of her. I want you to know i was never opposed to you and her being an item. I was just woried she was not ready. I have always been overprotective of all of them. Even more so sence the acident and the subsequent hospitalization. ” she said.

“I understood. “He said. “Has it been dificult?”diane asked. “I think we are starting to undertand how to relate to eachother. ” he told her. “Good. There are going to be ups and down. Dont be suprised if there is another down perioud comming. ” she admonished him. “Of course. ” he answered. 

Kristin had gone to her bedroom. She changed into a pink sleveless dress and put on a gray sweter. She wore flip flops. She put her hair back down. She walked down stairs. 

She went to the living room. He smiled at her. She smiled back. She kissed him on the cheak. She took his hand. He was a little skifish about physical contact any ways but was nervous about displaying afection in front of mrs greener,  diane. Mrs grener did not apear to be offended. He did not want to go overboard but a little bit of p.c is fine he supposed.  

Diane dismised herself to check on dinner. “Miss me?”she asked in a playfull tone. “It has not been that long but yes i missed you. Did you miss me?”he asked. She smiled and said, “yes i did.” 

“You cleen up well. “She remarked. “Thanks, so do you! I still am shocked you liked to work with cars.  “He said.”im versatile.  Everyone is diverse i think. Not as the world defines diversity. We are all a bit of an enigma rapped in a conundrum!”she said. He chuckled. “Your probably right. “He said. 

“I like to be full of surprises. Otherwise life would be boring.  ” she said.  “I am prety boring. I dont think i have any odd interest. I think my interest lines up with i.f.b quute nicely.  ” he said.” we will see about that. I am not convinced. ” she said. He laughed. 

“Am i going to be in for more surprises?” he asked. “Probably!  There is a good chance of it. “She said.  “Oh ok. ” he said. 

She left the room to help set up. He looked around the room. He saw a picture of her witg his dad when she was little. There was a family pictures.  She assumed it might have been one of the last with her dad before he died. He was called in for dinner.

They served ham,potatoe green beens and vegitables. She made sure to include vegetables she knew he did not like. She made sure he eat them. He eat them last. 

They had desert.  He was fall but was able to eat one peace of cake. After they sat on the porch. ” i dont think i can eat again for a week. ” he declared. She laughed. 

“I am not sure that i quite line up with independent fundimental baptist. I do mostly. I read king james i ware skirts or dreses most of the time. Other things i might not. “She said. “I figured. I suspected that.”he said. 

“I have attended both independent fundimental Baptist and independent baptist. When i grew up there was little difference. Slowly chirches drifted from king james and music changed. Dress standards as well. My mom prefers more conservative.  “She said. 

“What about you?”he asked.  “I like this church.  I like the people. They are freindly . the pastors son is kinda cute!”she said. “Only kinda cute?” he asked.they laughed.” you ok with being maried to someone slighlty on the strict side?” he asked. “I think i am ok with it. “She answered. 

“I am traditional .  some might say old fashioned. I sing the hyims, read from the king James bible. Dress up for church, i dont own a tv, etc. ” he said. 

“Well i see. I do read from the king james bible. I am somewhat modern but certainly not as the world defines it. I curtainly opose post modern philosophy.  I dont believe in situational ethics. I ware dreses and skirts and try to always be modest. I do ocadionaly listen to contemporary christian music. I do own a tv. I am conservitive. I believe in the fundimentles of the faith. ” she said. 

“I know that. I dont doubt that for a seccond. ” he said. “Do you still see me as a viable potential wife? “She asked. He put her arm around her. “Yes i do. I trust you. I know you would never undermine me. “He said.she rested her head on his soulder.

“I would never try to undermine you or to change your views.  I respect you and your views. I believe in separation and holiness. ” she said. “I know that. ” he said.

“What is a deal breaker for you?” she asked. “You have to be saved. I am Certain you are. I see evidence of spiritual gowth. I believe you are growing. A paturn of unrepentant sin. I am talking clear rebelion. It would be a red flag. I would atempt to work though it. Thst could be..i dont see that.  Under church discipline. That could be a red flag or a deal breaker. Dressing imodestly which you dont. Bad reputation , course talk. It is more isues of chracter. ” he said. 

“Ok. I am independent fundimental baptist. Just not as strong as orthers. ” she said. “I understand that. Your fine. I dont see a problem. ” he said. “Ok.i just wanted to make sure. ” she said. 

 She escorted him to his car. “I had a really good time tonight. I love spending time with you. ” he told her.

“I had a good time too. I feel like we are forming our own family unit. ” she said. “I do too. I love you krissy. ” he told her. “I love you jack. “She told him. 

He got into the car. She blew him a kiss. He pertended to catch it. He drove off. 

End of part 10

Next up

The anniversary of kristin’s farthers death takes her by surprise and throw there relationship though a loop. 

 

End of sorrow part 9

Previously on end of sorrow.

Abby a penticostal reaches out to her neighbor. Andrew lost his fiancé just weeks before the weddings.  He was reluctant to agree with it at first.  He finally agred to see her formerly. 

They went to the first resturant they went to. “I had no idea you were planing something like this.” he said.

“Neither did i ! It was kind of an impulse thing. I felt like we should celebrate it. It is a huge milestone for us. ” she said. 

“It really is. It is a new beginning.  ” he said. “I feel that way too. I really like you. I am really excited by the prospects of our relationship.  ” she said.  “I am too. I realy like you. Its nice to have companionship again. Some times you dont realize that you dont have something until you have it. ” he said.

“Its strange, i am always around people. I sometimes keep people at arms laungh. Though i am bubly and a people person, i still tend to be somewhat standoffish. Not with you. I am very comfortable around you. ” she said. 

“I can tell your different around me. I am glad that your feel free when your around me. ” he said. “I really do. ” she told him. 

“You have brought me out of my shell. I am not quite the old me but i am getting closer.  ” he said. “I dont think your mearly as serious  as you let on. I imagine if i gave you a skirt gun , i would be a goner. ” she said. “Yes! You dont want to see me with a skirt gun unless  you have one and a large shield!” he said. 

“You do have a silly side?” she asked. “I do. I am have six siblings. Manny of them are young. You kind of have to be silly. ” he said.

“I have a feeling that you are naturaly silly. “She remarked. “Perhaps! ” he said. They laughed. 

“So are you thinking about getting back to ministry. I know your serving the lord. Have you considered going back to the tract you were on? ” she asked.  “I have. I do still have a desire to start churches. ” he said. “I thought that you did. I know you still preach and teach sunday school. I cant believe the lord wants you to sit on the side lines. ” she said.

“I know your right. ” he said. “As i said on our first date, its time to get back to work. Its time to get out of the funk. ” she said. “I know. I am getting there. I really am getting there. ” he said.”good.  I thought you were. ” she said. 

“Your right i used the mourning as a crutch.  I used it as an excuse.  I got used to being in a funk. It became normal comfortible. ” he said.

“Its understandable.  I am glad you see it that way. I am glad that you are giving it up. I am glad to see your moving on. I have to warn you that i am always blunt. If i disagree with something you will know it.” she said.”i am not surprised. ” he said.

“Having said that i will always keep it private. I will discus it with you in private. ” she said. “I figured. I appreciate that. ” he said. 

” you have a lot of potential.  You have a lot of gifts. I want to see you serving the lord. I want you to live up to that potential. I believe that sometimes the battle is not between right and wrong but between right and somewhat right. Dont settle for good enough. I think you know thats what you been doing. ” she said.

“You are right. That is what i have been doing. Its funy i have preached messages along those lines. I think the old me would have a bone to pick with me. I dont want to settle.  I rally dont. ” he said.

“I know that. I wont let you. I know you will keep me honest as well. ” she said. ” i am on the road back. ” he said.”i know you are. I can see that. ” she said.

“So we discussed the posibility of us one day marrying. We both agreed that we need to go slow. We need to take baby steps. Do you see yourself marrying me. Can you picture it? “She asked. 

“Yes i definitely can. I do want to marry you. ” he told her. “Good . i realy want to marry you. I am downright smitten with you andy. ” she said.

Andrew never considered marying anyone else but liane.  He never dated anyone but liane. She was the only person he had had a romantic involvement with. When he had been young there was a girl he told he wanted to marry. He had no idea what her name was. He bearly remembered the event. 

He never even thought about thanking about someone besides liane. When liane died he really was committed to being single all his life.that commitment became stronger.  Even when he met abby. Even when they started to become closer friends. 

Now he was open to marrying her. He was surprised.  He was not expecting this. He was definitively not seaking it. Never the less, hear it was. 

“Why are you so smiten with me ab? I am ptety boring. I am old fashoned. I dont own a tv. I listen to old hyims and a collection of sacred mysic from my college.  I am a cessationest. I sometimes think i am a little dull. Why me?” he asked.

She laughed.she smiled. “I dont know.  I cant explain it. I just am. I did not plan it. It happened. Your not that dull.  ” she said.  “My ant farm might disagree with you. ” he said. She shock her head. They both laughed.

“So i could ask the same of you.  Why do you like me? I am bubly outgoing. I love to dance, listen to klove, own a tv. I am a bit mischievous at times. ” she said.  

” i love spending time with you. I juat do. I am glad your in my life. ” he said. She smiled. 

After a while they paid then went to the car. Then they headed home. She parked. They got out of the car. “I had a great time tonight. ” he told her. “I did too. This was i hoped tonight would go. This was better really.” she said. He hugged her. They said goodnight and went there temporary separate ways. 

The next morning andrew was suposed to be at work at ten am. He slept in until nine. He had plenty of time but he usualy got ready at a leisurely pace. He showered, drank cofee got ready and left.

He was hatdly late but he was a bit frazzled. He forget to get his phone. His work is  far from his apartment but when he Was at work, he stayed there until his shift was over. 

Despite the dificut start to the day,it went fairly well. He was,whoever happy to be home. He pulled in. Abby was waiting for him. She was wearing jeens whitch usualy ment she was miffed with him.she had been crying.

“Are you upset about something ab?”he asked. “Where have you been?”she asked. “I was at work!”he said.  “Why didn’t you return any of my calls or texts or messages? “She asked. “I was in a rush this morning and left mt phone at home. I dont go home while on lunch breaks. ” he said.

“Why is it every time you and i have a major break though, you have to go backyards.  Why do you have to be so unstable? ” she asked. 

” i am not having doubts about us. I really did leave my phone at home.  “He said.”you live a mile from your home.  Why bot just go get it?”she asked. “I dont like to leave the premises..even on lunch. ” she told him. “I was woried that we were going too fast. I feard you would go inward again. I figured you had.  ” she said. 

“Abby i am ok. I am not having second thoughts about us. “He said. “Do you still feel like your being unfaithful  to liane?”she asked. “I would be lying if i said i did not feel that a little. I know its irational. “He said. 

“When are you going to be afraid of hurting my feelings.  When are you going to be concerned about being faithfull to me? Don’t you dare say when we are maried. If you dont do it now,  you wont do it later.” she said. 

“Your right.your right on all acounts. Abie i do care about you. Your feelings are importent to me.  I am sorry. I gues not consider your feelings today. ” he said.

” your not bound to liane any more. You are free to marry. I know you wanted to be a one women man.  She is gone. She is not going to come back. Your obligation to  her has passed. ” she told her. 

“I know that. ” he said.”i dont want to play second fiddle.  I dont want to be a consolation price. I dont want to win you by default. I feel like i am the runner up who is declared the winner after the predecessor is disqualified.  Look i have dated guys before you. They dont matter to me. You are my soul mate. No one else. You dont see it that way. ” she said.

He hugged her. “Your not a consolation prize. ” he told her. “The truth is if leane was stil alive and you had met me, i would not be an afterthought. ” she said.

She started to cry. He held on to her. “If your going to mary me,you have to let her go. I dont want to compete with anyone especially a ghost. I cant do it. The vows say forsaking all orthers. Thats what i want. ” she said.

“I know and i agree. ” he said. She held on to him. “I was going to surprise you with lunch but i got upset. ” she said. “Its fine. ” he said. “Do you like tuna fish? ” she asked. “I do. ” he said. 

“I will be back. ” she said. “Ok. ” he said. She walked upstairs to her apartment.  A few minutes she came back out with a plate of sandwitches. She had changed into a skirt. They went to a picnic table. 

“Oh you might want to ster clear of the more recent meseges. Im sorry. ” she said.  “I am sory i was inconsiderate. ” he said. ” bring your phone to work tomorrow.  ” she said “will do. ” he said.

End of part 9

Next up

Andrew and abby goes to each others churches. They get more involved in eachothers world. He considers going back on a ministry tract.  

 

End of sorrow part 8

Previously on end of sorrow

Andrew lost his fiancée in a car accident just weeks before the wedding was about to occur.  

Though andrew knew that liane is with the lord he took it hard. He shut down.  He gave up his goals of starting new churches. He was still involved in his local church. His heart was not in it sny more. He did the bear minimum of ministry. 

He relationship with the Lord was stagnent at best. A young lady named abby move next to him.  They went from acquaintance to friends. 

She forced him to come out of her shell and hiw lethargy.  At first he fought it tooth and nail. He realized that he could loose abby. He decided that he did not want that.

They had a heart to heart talk. He wants to go slow. He does want to court her. She was agreeable to that. They decided to give it a chance.  

“We should probably call it a night but i am really glad we got to talk. ” abby said. “I am too. Have a good night! ” he said. “You too . i love you. “She said. “I love you too.” he said.

He made sure that she got inside before he went inside. He went inside his place. He called his mom.

“Hi mom.” he said. “Hey andy. “She said.”abby and i had a long talk tonight.  We are going to give a relationship a try. ” he said.

“Are you good with this? ” she asked.”i am good with it. I really like her. I just never imagined that i could be involved with someone other then liane. It is going to take a while to get use to it. ” he said. 

“You told abby that?” his mom asked. “I did. She is open to going slow. She just wants a commitment.  I am ready for that. I am at a point where i can commit to abby. ” he told her.

“Good. I am glad to hear that.  Keep talking. Be open and honest with her. Be honest with yourself. Commitment is a one time thing and an ongoing thing. It is what the bible would call an on going decision with ongoing consequences.  It is one big decisions folowed up by little ones. If you pursue abby you must persue her to the exclusion of everyone else.  That includes liane. ” his mom said.

He knew that his mom was right. It was still hard. He tried to do that. He wanted to be a one woman man. He knew that if he really wanted to be with abby. He knew if he was going to be with abby, he had to be with abby.

He knew that he could always count on his mom to tell him what he needed to hear. He knew that she would tell him what he wanted to hear even when he did not want to hear it. He often sought his mom out because he knew that she would be candid. He thanked the lord for both his parent’s and there wisdom.

He went to his living room. He had a picture of him and liane.  He looked at the picture. He took it and put the picture of them in a box. He took all the pictures he had in a box. He put it in a cubbyhole. He closed it. He took a breath.

The next day he left his place. He got in his car. He decided to take a deter before he went for to his job. He stoped at the home of clark ans jacky.

 He went out back and saw clark near his garage.  “Andrew it has been a long time sense you have stopped by. ” clark said. “I know it. I practically lived hear did i not?” he asked.

“Jacky and i wondered if liane stil lived hear. I gues it is a matter of perspective.  ” clark said.  “Probably.  ” he said.

“We miss seing you hear. We understand why. ” clark said. “There are a lot Of memories hear.  ” he remarked. “You two were attached to the hip. ” clark said.  “Indeed we were. ” he said. 

“Look sir. I wanted to talk to you in private. The young lady at the picnic.  We are going to try to date. I am sorry you had to see us together before i had a time to talk to you personally.  It was kind of last minute. ” he told her. 

“I am glad you came to see me. Look andy i know you loved liane. I have no doubt of how much lee ment to you.  Jacky and i talked about it. We both feel the same way. Liane would have wanted you to move on with your life. You are young. You have mourned enough.  There is a time to mourn. That time has passed. It will be hard to see you with someone else. It was bound to happen. I dont begrudge you for wanting to move on. There is no hard feelings. ” clark said.

“Thank you i really appreciate that. It means alot. ” he told him. “The lord has his hand on you. I am sure of that. He will use you. I believe that strongly. ” clark said.

This was a very hard visit.  He felt he had to do it. He went to his car. He changed his profile picture om facebook. It had been a picture of him taken at his parents house.he lookef at pictures of him. He found one of himself and abby. It was taken at the concert. He made it to the profile picture.

Then he sent abby a relationship request. He hit send. He headed to his work place. 

Abby was glad that they had talked. She felt that they had gotten somewhere. She was not sure if this was a big step or a smal step.  She was willing to take either. 

She heard a ping on her phone. She saw a face book update.  She clicked on it. It was a relationship request from andy. It had been said that a relationship was not oficial until it was on facebook. She saw that he had changed his profile pic. He was sending her a mmessage . He was serious.  

She cried a bit. She tended to get emotional.  She was a bit of a softie. She loved him. She knew that she did. She hit accept.

She looked though her pics. She had several pics of them. There was a pic of them at his church during there picnic. She put that as her profile pic.

She texted him. “I love i love i love you i love you!”. She sent it. He saw the text before he clocked in. He texted her back.  “I love you sweet heart.” he told her.

Work had gone well. He was happy when the day was over. He was happy that the day went fast. He had had a good day. Work had gone well. He had headed out . he had clocked out. He headed to the car. 

He opened the car door. He checked his phone. He was suprised that there were no messages from abby. He checked his Facebook.  Everyone from immediate to take extended family to friends, school mates ,church people etc. He was excited to see the messages.  Everyone was excited by there news.

He drove to his place. He parked. Her car was gone. He was suprised.  He left the car. He went inside the house. He decided to call her. 

” hi there!  I lost tract of time. I am heading back to my apartment.  ” she said.  After a few seconds he saw her car pull in. ” come on.”she said. ” where are we going?” he asked. ” we are going out for dinner to celebrate our relationship.  I thought we go to the spot of our first date. ” he said.

“Should i change? ” he asked. “No you look fine. Come on.” she said.he chuckled.  He got in. Off they went.  

End of part 8

Next up 

Abby and andy go out on a date to celebrate there new relationship.  

Wedding party part four.

Six days until the wedding.

 Amber decided to visit her home church. She had not been back for a while. She was excited. To see everyone.  Tracy told her she could take the day off but be prepared to work on monday. She assured her that she would.  Tracy laughed. 

Matt got up sunday morning.  He showered then drabk cofee and had a light breakfast. He got ready for church.  He arived at the church and got ready for the service. 

He saw tracy at the church.  “Where is amber?” he asked. “She is at her home church.  She did say that she would come to our church tonight. She said you might want a break form her. ” Tracy said.

He laughed. He wanted to say never but did not. He just said something like “oh ok!” or something along those lines.  

Amber had a good time at her church.she was glad to see everyone. They were glad to see her. She was glad to catch up with old friends.  She enjoyed her life on the west coast working for the college but liked it hear in her home town. It would be hard to go back.  

Aftter church she went back to mrs. Davis’s home. She went inside. “Hello stranger. “Matt said. “Hi Matt.  “She said.”how was your church?”he asked.”it was good. I enjoyed seing everyone. “Amber said.

“So will be coming tonight?”matt said.”i will. I am excited to hear you preach again. ” amber told her. “I am glad your planing on comming. “He told her.

They went into the house. Everyone greated her. Amber helped tracy and his other sisters get lunch ready. Matt talked to steven tracy’s fiancée for a bit. 

They all sat down for dinner.matt liked that amber was there. It felt right.  She was a part of the family. He was glad she was hear. 

Dinner consisted of ham potatoe corn.there was aple pie for desert. After diner, mat went to his place to go over his sermon notes for a bit. Then he went to the church to set up. 

Poeole started to flood in. He left his office. He saw amber.  “Hi!” she said.he smiled. “Hi !” he said.  “Ready?” she asked. “I think so. ” he said. 

He started the service with announcements. “This week i will be kinda off kinda on. I will be preaching on Wednesday night. I will be in and out of the church this week.if you need to reach me you can try at the church or call my cell. You can also reach one of our deacons. I invite everyone to the wedding of my sister and steven brell. Our family is very excited. We will hope you will join us. ” he said. 

After a time of signing,  matt got up to preach. ” i want to talk tonight about our unchangible God. Hebrews tell us that he is the same yesterday, today and foever. The lord is consistent. He is a God of order.  He is a God of structure.  We can depend on him to never change his mind or standards. We can depend on his promises.  In galations, paul says that God never reniged on his promises to abraham. There were some within judism and in Christian circles that the mosaic law undid the abrahamic covinent. Paul says that nothing could undo the promises God made to Abraham.  God made this promise thousands of years ago. Because of His consistent character we can rely on that promise. ” he said. 

“The lord promised to never leave us or forsake us. We trust that because of his consistent character.  David said that he was young,now he was old but he had never seen the righteous forshaken. We trust that he will help us in the future because he helped us in the past. In first samual,the children of Israel put up a stone called ebanezer witch meens this far the lord has helped us. The implication is if God has helped us this far we trust that he will help us the rest of the way.  We look at what he has done for us in the past. ” 

“When moses was about to leave the scene, what do he do? He reiterated all that the lord had done. Joshua when he was about to die did the same. David at the end of his life told Solomon of Gods faithfulness. We can really on the lord because he has proven himself dependable.  ” he said. 

“We live in a world full of changes. It is said change is inevitable.  Life is changes. We are born babies. We grow, we learn to crall, walk and talk.we learn. We leave home. We gets jobs etc. Life is about change. We cant avoid it. We as Christians can realy on a God. Who does not.” he said.

“Our family and church have experienced changes. We began as a church that met in a motel. Then we perchased a building. Transformed it into a church. We went on the pastors fanily and 2 others to where we are. There were pitfalls trials. We did not know how it would turn out. My mom and dad trusted in the consistentcy of the lord. Faithful is he who promised who also will do it. ”

“Our family has seen changes. Myself and tracy and bryce have graduated high school and Tracy and i have graduated from bible colege. Bryce is in bible school. Kendra is about to start bible colege.  Tracy will soon be maried. The baby of the family will turn two. Life has seen changes. We lost our dad. Our pastor.  I steped into the pastor role. You saw fit to call me to be your pastor, God’s under shepherd hear in hagerville. Life has been full of changes some we see as positive some negitive. These did not take our lord by surprise.  We have seen his faithfulness in these events. We have learned from these events.  We have learned to trust in the lord.we have learned to trust in his unchanging character.  ”

“In lemantations Jeremiah weeps over the destruction of jerusalem. Judah was punished for its rebelliousness.  Judah fell to nubukanezzer and babylon. The whole book is a funeral durge for the nation. He says it is by Gods murcy that we are consumed every day. His murcy are new every morning.  Great is thy faithfulness.  Despite Israel’s rebellion against the lord. Despite his punishment on them, he would still be faithful.  At the end of saventy years they would be alowed to return. We see his faithfull consistent character. I rejoice in that. I depend on it.i know i can. ” he said. 

After the service, he closed the service.manny stayed behind and felowship. Matt mingled with various members and attenders. He had conversations with everyone. 

Amber mingled with various people. She had never attended hear on a regular bases. She knew people from her visits to the church . she lived in the area so she knew them from the town. Though she was not Baptist , she liked the church and liked the people in the church.  She always felt welconed hear. She never felt out of place even though she was a crazy charismatic.  

Many came up to matt and said what an encouragement his message was. Many could relate. Manny were experiencing changes. The mesege was very timely. 

After a while he saw amber. “Hi. I realy liked your mesege?” she said. “Thank you. It was not my original mesege for the night.  I could not focus. I kept thinking about evrtything. I decided to turn it into a summon . “he said. “It was a blessing. “She said. “Praise the lord!”he said.

“I missed your preaching. “She asked.”we post my surmons on line.”he said.”i will check them out. ” she said. 

At his moms house. “Ok i want everyone hear at eight a clock. Cofee will be on at 7:30. Breakfast will be served at 8:00. Then after breakfast we will go to the church after breakfast. We have alot of work to do.”tracy said. 

“This could be interesting.”matt said.”i get to be in charge.  “Tracy said.”i am not so sure about that.”matt said. They laughed.  

Matt stayed with his family for a while.then he went to his home. Again amber walked him to his car.they said there goodbyes.

End of part 4

 

Panic attack part 9

Previously  on  panic attack 

Jack the son of a pastor meets a young lady with a tragic past. At first she and her family are reluctent to accept him. After a time Kristin is wiling to pursue a relationship with her . she and her fanily put some stipulation on it. 

Jack was eating breakfast with his family. “So. Your mom and i were talking. We would like to get to know Kristin more. ” his pastor commented.

“We would like to have her over for supper. We were wondering if she could come tomorow night. ” his mom said. “I will invite her.” jack told his mom.

He figured that she would be open to coming over to dinner at some point. He had no idea of she would want to come over this soon.  He was almost afraid to ask her. He was not sure how his parents would feel if she declined or wanted a rain check.  He decided not to create a crises before it happened. 

Jack got ready for his day.  Then he dialed her number. “Hi krissy. ” jack said.  ” hi jack. How are you?” she asked.  ” good. How are you?” she asked. “Doing good.  Kris my parents were wondering if you could come over for dinner tomorrow.  ” he asked you.

“Tomorow?” she asked. “Yes. Is this too little prior nottice?” he asked. “No . yea i can come tomorow.  “She said.”awesome!  I will let mom know. ” he said. “Thank them for inviting me. ” she said.” i will do that. ” he said.

“I have to admit that i am really nervous. ” she admited. “I gathered  that.  It will be fine. They really like you. Mom and dad are realy great.  You have nothing to wory about.  I know it is going to go great. ” he assured her. 

“I do want to go. I. Just really nervous about it. I am just worried i will make a bad impresson. What if They dont think i am good enough of there little boy?” she remarked. “Now you know how i feel. I was so nervous when i came to diner at your house. ” he said. 

“I am not really good at this stuff. ” she said.  “It is really low pressure i promise.  Just relax. It will be ok. ” he said. “It is a good thing i love you and your cute!” she said. “You think im cute?” he asked. “Dont let it go to your head. Your not that cute?” she said laughing. He laughed.

“It really will be ok. ” he assured her. ” yea i know.  Ok i trust you. ” she said.”good.  I am really excited about this. I think it is going to be great. I really do. ” he said.  “Ok. I hope your right. ” she said.

After she hung up,  she went downstairs. “Are you ok kris?” ashly asked. “Yea. Jack’s perrents invited me to dinner tomorrow. ” she said. “Are you going to go?” her mom asked.  “I agreed to go. I hope i dont regret it. ” kristin said. “You seam realy nervous.  ” her mom said. “I guess i am. What if i say something stupid?” she asked.

“Well jack had to come to dinner with us. Its only fair that you have to go to dinner with them. ” her mom said. “I know. I am not really a good at this.  ” kris said.  “You will do fine.they already like you. You have there permission to date him. ” her mom said. “I realy want them to be my in laws someday. If i mess this up that might not happen. ” she said. “Dont worry about it. Just relax. You will do fine.  “Ashly said.

 Friday night came. It got close to being the time to go to the rayburn’s.she decided to wate a pink sweater with a gray skirt. She wore black shoes. She braded her hair. She went downstairs.  “Do i look ok?” she asked.  “You look great.  ” ashly asked.”you sure? ” she asked. “You look fine kris!” her mom said. 

She took a deep breath.  She huged her mom and sister. She went to her car. She got in. She drove to the home of the rayburns. 

 The jeep she drove pulled up at the  home of the pastor and his family. She hoped she had a few secconds to take a deep breath. She was sighted. Jack watched for him at the window. He walked out of the home. 

He walked over to her. He smiled and she smiled back. “You look realy nice tonight. ” he said. “Thank you. ” she said. He hugged her. They walked inside. 

“Hi kristin. ” mrs rayburn said.  “Thank you for inviting me. ” kristin told them. “Our plesure. We have wanted to have you over for a while now.  “Pastor rayburn said. “I asked jack if you had any alergies or was vegiterian or anything like that. ” his mom said.”i dont have any algeries. I am not picky at al. “Kristin said. ” i did not think so. ” mrs. Rayburn said. 

 The rayburns had five children aside from jack. Jack was the oldest at age 24 and the youngest was a year old. Kristin was seated next to jack and his sister kate. They serrved lasagna whitch she loved. 

 “So i hope Timothy and rachele are minding you well during there piano lessons?” mrs rayburn said.”they are doing very well. I am happy to them. I cant wait to start teaching anna. Someday little merissa. ” kristin said. 

“Mayby you can teach jack to play the piano.  ” his brother Philip suggested. “Yea. You dont want that. I think the two piano teachers decided to retire after trying to teach me. “Jack said. “He is the only rayburn in the family that does not play an instrament. ” kate said. “Aside from myself.  ” pastor rayburn said. 

” everyone has unique abilities.  Not everyone has to play a musical instrament. ” kristin said. “I can play the radio. ” jack said. “I am an avid radio player.  ” pastor rayburn said. The family laughed.

“My poor family has heard my corny jokes alot. It is nice to meet someobe who has bot heard them. ” pastor rayburn said. ” you dont have to tell them all at once. ” mrs rayburn said.they all laughed. 

” “so how do you like our church?” kate asked. “I really like it. Our whole family does. Everyone has been really great. ” Kristin said. “We enjoy your whole family.  Your family has been a great adition to the family. “Pastor rayburn said. “Thank you.  ” kristin said. 

“We try to have a family atmosphere at church. ” mrs. Rayburn said. “You really do. We apreciate how everyone went out of there way to make us feel welcomed. “Kristin said. 

The night was going well. Kristin enjoyed being with jack’s family.  ” so has dad checked your doctrinal satement?” Philip asked. “No i dont think that i dissagre on doctrine.  I read from king james bible,only wear dreses or skirts. I dont subscribe to penticostal or reformed theology. I am not neo evengelical and believe in separated from rommon catholism. ” Kristin said. “He is kidding with you. ” kate said. She laughed.  

“You dont listen to klove do you?” phil asked. Oh no she thought. She does listen to klove. She squeeze jack’s hand. ” you will have to excuse Phil.  He is stil young and does not always know when things are appropriate. ” jack said.

Then jack changd the conversation. As they had desert she  forget to take her anti dipresents.”oh no?” she thought.  She left it at home.she started to panic.  She got qiet. 

After a while, he went after to her. ” hunnie?  Are you ok?” jack asked. ” i forgot to take my antidipresent. ” she said.  “Are you ok? ” jack asked. “I think so.  ” she said. 

After spending time with the family they went to the steps. ” im sory i listen to k love. I know i probably should not. Thank you for helping me out. ” she said. ” no problem.  What are boyfriends for?” he asked. ” i hate that you have to cover for me! ” she said.  

“Its fine. ” he said. ” i should realy get back” she said. “You dont have..  oh ok.”he said. He remembered there rule. She went inside and thanked them for there hospitility. They thanked her for coming. He walked her to her car.

 His patents did not know anything was ary. ” you two make a cute couple.”mrs. Rayburn said.  “I think so.” jack said. “You really like her?” his dad asked. “I do. ” he said. 

Later that night she called. “Sory i left abruptly. “She said. “Its fine. ” he said.”are you sure? ” she asked. “Yes i am sure. ” he said.  

To be continued. 

 

The wedding party part two 

Mat and amber always had a complex relationship.  Tracy had been sheltered.  When she started her first job,she was a fish out of water.  She felt out of place. Amber had been a breath of fresh air. Amber was not quite as sheltered but still tried to not be off the world. 

Amber tried to befriend tracy right away. She started to talk to her right away. Tracy was shy. Amber brought her out if her shell. 

At first,Tracy’s family was concerned about her being friends with a penticoastal. Tracy was not quite as separated as they were. They were concerned about what kind if influence she would have on there little girl. They invited her to supper. It was kind of a fact finding misson. 

Matt was opposed to even giving amber a chance.he dreaded the whole thing.  He had done extensive reserch on the charusnaric movement.  He was very opposed to anything to do with. He wanted his parents to just forbid tracy from associating with amber and be done with it. He trusted his  parent’s and decided to give her a chance  as they requested.  

Amber hit it off with there parents. Thet found her to be very polite. She showed evidence of speituel gowth. She was mature and responsible. 

Matt did not approve of her. He disliked the influence of penticostalism in the church. The charismatic movement waa beginning to creep into the i.v.b. he did not want to like amber. 

He tended to be standoifish to her.he usually greated her but that was about it. She became a frequent guest. After a while she became almost a member of the family. 

He tried to get his parent’s to have an amber free night once a week. They would not go for that. They really liked her. They liked the influence she had on tracy.

Mat and amber bately talked.even small talk was rare.  She had connected with everyone in the family except for Matt.  

“Matthew, you are traning to be a pastor. You appear to have that caling in your life. As a pastor you must have the heart of compassion. A pastor cannot show partially or play favorites. Amber is a sweet young lady. She has earned our trust. She has been a good friend to trace. I think that you should be nicer to her. ” his dad told her. 

Mat decided to put his objections aside. He wanted to honor his parents and there wishes. “You dont like me do you? “Amber once asked him. 

“You seam like a nice person.  I am certain you are a blood brought believer.  I am concerned about you hanging around tracy. I am woried that you could lead her away from the i.f.b.” he told her. 

“Your woried that i will try to turn her into a penticoastal?  “Amber asked. “I think you might influence her perhaps inadvertently.  “He answered.

“I respect your sister. I have no intention of trying to change your views. I reached out to a fellow belever. I realy like your family. I do not understand your antagonism.  “She said.

“I am alarmed by the spreading influence of penticostalism.  I believe we have to seperate from error. I believe penticoastalsm promotes error. “He said.

“You dont sugar coat things do you? “She asked. “With something like this never. ” he answered.”i dont want to turn teacy into a penticoastal.  She was lonely and isolated. I reached out. It is nice to talk to someone who does not sware every twenty seconds. I never thought your perents would adopt me.. I am glad they have.  ” she said. 

“My parents like you. I gues if they are ok with your friendship with trace i should be too. ” he said. 

“Can we agree to a cease fire? ” she asked. ” ok!” he answered. ” peace! ” she asked. She extended her hand and he shock it. 

They tried to be cordial.  He tried to at least be at peace with her. He slowly softened his stance towards her. Over time they went from barely speaking to eachother to becoming friends. She even made birthday cake for him. 

Tracy went off to a independent fundamental Baptist college. Anber went to a penticoastal colege. When amber came home there parents incisted she visited.  They kept in touch. Though she was disdent in geography she had a place in there heart.  Though he was reluctant to admit it she had a place in his heart.  He had a place in hers. 

She came though for the family when they needed her the most.  When there father died she stoped everything and flew to be with them.she did everything from make meals to just siting with them. They never forgot all she did.  

Matt was not someone who wore his heart on his sleeve.  He could be stoic. When she aeived back in town after his farther died,she hugged hin. He fully embraced her. After that,he no longer considered amber Tracy’s friend but his friend. They kept in touch after that.  He talked to her more then tracy had. 

“You have been missed!” he told her at dinner. He ment to conveigh the idea that she was missed by the family. She saw in his eyes that he missed her. 

She told him that she missed all of them. She knew that he understood that she missed him the most.  “Things have not been the same without yoy. Quiter but not the same!” he said.  “I will try not to be too loud. I dont want you to get sick of me. ” she told him. “I never get sick of you “he said. 

He did not realize right away that he had said it out load. He had not planned to say it audibly or had he.”i can get prety loud. Do you mean that?” she asked. 

“No anount of loudness will change how i feel about it. Dont push it though?” he said.she chuckled. “I wont. “She answered. 

“So how are you doing with all this?”she asked. “I am ok!”he answered. “How are you really?” she asked. “Slightly less then ok. There are constent reminders that dad is not with us.  He would be so excited. He would make so Manny jokes. He would probably tell steve he should have eloped.  He would forbid elsa and gracie from ever getting maried. Not a minute goes by that i dont think about him. Its hard to see tracy growing up. I am suposed to keep eveeything together. It weighs on me. ” he said. 

“Hey! You dont have to have it together with me. Condider me your emotional suport system.  I meen that. ” she said. “Thank you. I realy appreciate that. ” he said. “Please utilize me. “She pleaded with him. “I will!” he said. “Good!” she said.

After a while,they decided that it was time to head on. She was about to pay her part of the bill when he stoped her. “I got this!”he said.”are you sure?i should be paying for your meal. Your the one that has to put up with me for two houers. “She said.

“I had not considered that. ” he said.”your not going to sing are you?” he asked. “You dont like my singing? “She asked. “Your a fine singer. ” he said. “I might posibly sing and i might raise my hand.  “She said. “Woa! Wait a minute i draw the line at hand rasing. “He said. “Good luck with that. ” she said. 

He paid the bill. “Thank you. “She said. “No problem.  I am happy to do it. ” he told her. “You do know that this is going to be the longest two houers of your life. “She said.”i had a feeling that that was the case.” he said. 

He got the recept. They got up to leave. They went to the door and excited the restaurant.  He held the door for her. She thanked him. They walked to the car.

On the way home, she did sing along to the radio. He tried to not let it brother him. “How are you doing? “She asked. “Im ok. ” he said. “Just making sure. “She said in response. 

“Its good to see you. You drive me crazzy but i am glad to see you. I missed you. ” he told her. “I missed you. I am glad to see you. I enjoy driving you crazy. I dont intend to stop any time soon. ” she said.

“At least i know where you stand. “He said.”someone has to keep you on your toes. “She said. ” is that so?” he asked.  “It is” she said.”your very qalified for tour task. “He told her. He poked him lightly. They laughed. 

As the car drove back to the hometown,matt looked over at her.he smiled at her and she smiled back at him. She loved the way he looked at her. 

Despite her musical taste he realy enjoyed being with her. She loved talking to him. She wondered if he felt the same way she did about being with him.she was curious but not enough to ask. She was not sure he wanted to know. 

The car arived at the town. He drove to his mom’s house.  This was his childhood home.  “Thank you for picking me up. ” she told him. “I really was happy to do it.” he reaplied. “Its so good to see you. ” she said. “It is also good to see you.” he said. 

He parked the car in the driveway. In a way amber was a part of the family,his family. It was hard for him to admit it acept in his thoughts.  He knew how he felt.he was so glad that he was back. He knew that it would only be for a short time. He would enjoy her presence as long as she was hear. 

She was hear. He would savor the time she was hear. He would enjoy her time hear. He would not think about her leaving again.  

To be continued.