Panic attack part 14 

Priviously on panic attack

Jack a bible colege graduate  and assistant pastor meets kristin. Kristin had been in a savere car accident. She sufers from emotional bagege connected to it. The two decided to date. With the dicovery that she is on addictive medication and under the care of a secular pyschologest. He decided that they should take a break. 

” i think you should leave now” she said. He quickly agreed and said goodnight. He got in his car and drove off.

She sat on the porch for a few minutes. She tried to regain her comportment. She tried to calm down. She knew that her mom and sister would ask questions she perfered not to answer. She went inside.

“Jack did not stay long?”diane remarked. “No he did not. “Was all she said in response. She went to her room. 

She suspected that something was amis. He had not talked to her hardly at all. She had to call him. He did not ask to come by. She had trusted him. He had let her down. That was over now. 

He drove right home.  He went inside. “You ok?”his dad asked. “I told her i wanted a break. I think we might be done done.”he said. “I was afraid that might happen.  She has a lot to sort out. Mayby an independent fundimental Baptist is not the best match for her. ” his dad said. “Perhaps not. ” he said. 

“I know you wanted her to be the one. Mayby it is juat not ment to be.” his dad said. “You could be right. Just because her mom church shops does not meen she will. ” he said.

“Are you having seccond thoughts about all this? ” his dad asked. “No! I realy just wanted a break not a break up. ” he told him. “As i understand it there was a defiance.  ” his dad said. “That was from her mom. Dad i realy like her. Do you want me and her to be done?” he asked. 

“No. I wont tell you to break it off with her. If you two decide to get maried i think i would suport it. You need to really think about this. ” he said. 

 She went upstairs and shut her bed room door. She cried. She tried not to be too loud.she did not want to arouse suspicions. She eas fircely independent.  She wanted to figure this out on her own. 

The next day was saterday. It was odd. A saterday rarely happened without them seinf eachother. They did not see eachother at all that saterday. 

That saterday night she changed her facebook photo from one of her and jack to one of just her. She then changed her face book relationship form in a relationship with jack rayburn to single. She was ready to move on. She wanted to move pass it.

That sunday jack taught sunday school class. Kristin usualy attended his class. She was there. He said helo to everyone.   

At the service they did not sit together. “How come you and miss grener are not sitting together? ” mrs. Sandra canon asked. “Oh! We are no longer a couple.  ” he said. “Oh ! I am sory to hear that. “She said. 
He ran into her after the service.  He could not avoid her. “Hi! Kristin. “He said. “Hi. Jack. ” she said. “How have you been?”he asked. “Fine! You?”she asked. “I am good.”he said. “I am glad to heat that.  ” she said. Then the conversation ended. They dispersed. 

That night jack preached. Kristin loved to hear him preach.  He preached on the blood of christ. He traced the idea of a blood sacrifice from genises to revelation.  

He stood at the back and shock people’s hands ias they left. He came to diane and ashly and shock there hands. Then he  came to Kristin.  ” hello kristin! ” jack said. “Hello” she said. Then she left. 

 Jack did not feel like himself all week. He felt off. He hated this feeling. He decided one night to go for a ride to clear his head. He knew exactly where he would go. He went to the place they had gone. He saw her green jeep. 

He ran to her. “Krissy! Hi”he said. She was crying. “Hey jack!”she said. She hugged him. They held on to eachother. 

“What are you doing hear?”she asked. “I needed to clear my head. I was hoping to see you.”he said. “Why didn’t have you call me?”she asked.”i was afraid you would not answer.  I was not totaly sure i was going to talk to you. “He said.

“Why did you shut me out?”she asked.”i was confused. I beleve that the bible has every anser for life. The bible warns about being taken captive by worldly Philosophy.  Paaul warned timouthy to avoid science falsy so called. We must cling to the word of God. I was afaid that i would have to chose between the lord and i. I needed time to sort this out. I realy wanted a break,not a break up.pastor broaden was concerned that your mom kepts the bible and science seperate. Kind of gestalt.  Like max plank said there is bible and science and never the twain shall meet.”he said.

“When i first woke up, i was in bad shape. I was beyond depressed.  The medical facility recommend i be under the care of dr. Ted. I was under mom’s gaurdienship at the time. She did not know what to do. At this point i cannot go off the drugs. Perhaps th dosege can be reeuced but not elliminated completly. I do believe that the bible has all the answers for life. If i had been in charge of those decisions i dont know what i would have done.  ” she said.

“When we get maried, i want every devision we make as a family to be evaluated by the word of God. The world and the bible have different agandas. These aganda do often conflict. We have to go with the word of God.  ” he said. 

“Do you realy believe that anti depressants are unbibilical?”she asked. “Christians are empowered by the holy sprit. We are told not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed.  I take isue with drugs that alter behavior. I question its use by belevers. I dont have a definitive answer. ” he said.

“Alright. I understand your concerns.” she said. “I am more concerned by the thought process that led to the decision then the decision itself. Your family grew up in the church. The church seemed to be disregarded. ” he said. 

“Looking back on it,perhaps it was.  That is regrettable.  “She said. “It seemes your family left at the first sign of resistance.  You kept leaving churches that disagreed with you. You run every time there is an issue. You wont let anyone get close to you. ” he said. 

“I know it looks we just up and left redemption Baptist church but that is not the case. The pastor and deacons were relentless. They made the environment toxic. Yea we were a bit shy at new churches. We felt betrayed.  Legit or not i dont know but that is how i feel. ” she said. 

“Are you going to leave gbc?” he asked.  “When we came at first. We were just checking it out. We knew your church was similar to r.b.c but we were runing out of options i gues. So far we like the church. There is this one guy in the church that is kinda cute. ” she said. 

“Kinda cute?” he asked. “Oh i was not talking about you. ” she said in a playful tone. “Oh you werent?” he asked. “I was talking about lester cole!” she said. “He is eighty two. ” he said.  They laughed. 

“You think my first instinct is to run?” she asked. “Sometimes it seems  that way.  I dont understand it. ” he said. “You dont like our arangement?” she asked.  “Why do you want to deal with this alone. Why is it when times are tough your first instinct is to run away from me not to me. I want to be your suport system.  I am ok with your rules but i hope we can get pass it in the future. ” he said. 

“I do trust you. I have come to rely on mom and my sisters.  It is hard to trust anyone outside the iner circle. I did trust rbc. They were great at first. When i started being under dr. Ted, it all changed. I felt betrayed. It is hard to trust anyone not in the iner circle. ” she said. 

“Were you suicidal krisy?” he asked.she put his arm around her. “I dont know. A little mayby. I was so devisated. I had lost the will to live. ” she said. “Now?” he asked. “Not really.  Sometimes. ” she said. 

“Do you want to come to my house and hang out with me for a bit?”he asked. “Am i stil welcomed?” she asked. ” yes.” he said .

Her phone went off. “Hello mom. ” she said. “Are you ok?” her mom asked.”yea i am in my spot. I ran into jack. I am going to hang out with him for a while. ” she said. “Are you two ok?” she asked.”i think so.” she said.  

They walked to there cars. She hugged him for a bit. They got in there cars and headed for his parent’s house.

End of part 14

Next up

Kristen talks to jack’s perents.jack and kristin work out there differences.  

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