Panic attack part 12

Previously on panic atack

Kristin lost her farther in a car accident.  She was badly injured herself. She had to recover in a long term rehab center.  She has mostly recovered . she is prone to anxiety .

Jack is the son of a pastor. He is training to be a pastor. He is being mentored by his dad. He is serving as a kind of assistant pastor. He has been kept buisy. 

Jack and kristin had a rough start.  They started to date.  Things were starting to take shape between them. There always seem to be a two steps forward, one step back. 

Things had gone incredibly well. They were developing a rythem. At a picnic she realized that this was the anniversary of her dads death. She froze up. She just had to get away. 

He drove her home. She ran inside. “Your home early?”her mom remarked. “You know what today is?” she asked. “Yes. Im sory i did not say anything.  I thought mayby you had remembered and just did not want to talk about it. ” her mom said.

“I can’t believe i forgot about it. ” she said. ” its ok hunnie. It is bond to happen. Ita ok to have a life. ” she said.” i know that. I just have to process all of this. ” kristin said. “I understand. ” her mom said. 

Kristin decided to go upstairs. She went up to her bedroom. She cluched on to an old stuffed bear. Her dad gave it to her when she was young. He won it for her from one of those claw machines.  She hugged it. 

The bear had become a memory . it stayed near her bed. When she was hospitilized, ashly brought her some things from home. She cluched on to the bear. When she was little she named it henry. 

When she woke up from the coma,henry became a constent companion again. 

She remembered waking up. She was obivous at first.  She became startled. Ashley,  her mom and her sister janey were there. ” kris its ok. Your safe!” ashly said.

“Where am i?” she said. She saw that was wearing a hospital gown. She saw that she was hooked up to iv and other wires. “Hunnie you are at Jenson rehabitation center. You were in a really bad acident. ” her mom told her. 

She stated to remember. The events that led up to the crash started to come back. “Where is dad?” she demanded to know. “Sweetheart lets take this one step at a time!” her mom said. ” where is dad?  I have to know!” she incisted. 

“Hunnie he did no make it. ” her mom told her. She started to cry.  She held on to her mom. Her mom held her close. That night she held on to her bear. 

It did not really sink in that he was gone until she was relesed. He kept a couple of coats in the foyer. They were gone.  It really sunk in then.  

Everyone else had been had time to let things sink in. It had been four mounths sense the accident.  For her,it felt like it had just happened.they had had a smal commital service with just the family. After kristin felt better they had a momorial service. She was stil in the rehab center but got a day pass. The memories flooded back. 

He was not sure what to do. Should he call her or just wait for her to call him. He missed her. He was having a such a good time with her and then it was over. He wanted to get back to that moment. He wished there had been a way to stop the date from ending. 

He had no way to know if he was in love. He did not know if falling in love was a real thing.  He felt something for her. He grew closer to her. Now it was over. He just wanted to talk to her. 

He did not hear from her that night. He decided not to try to contact her. He would see her at church the next day. At least he hoped she would be there.  

She styaed in her room more of the day. Her mom and sisters kept checking up on her just to make sure that she was ok. She assured them she was. 

He was teaching sunday school and did not get to talk to her before his class began. After the class was concluded,he went over to her. He sat down next to her. 

” on a scale of one to ten, how mad are you at me?” she asked. “I am not mad. I am upset. I want you to trust me. I want you to let me in. I really want to be a part of your suport syistom. I respect your mom and sisters but i hope to become your suport syistom. Your holding back and i dont know why. I want to be there for you. I feel like your not letting me. ” he told her. 

“I explained  to you  that i need my space. I have to fight my own battles.  It is importent to me that i prove to myself i can. You said you understood.” she said. 

“I do understand.  When i become your husbend i want to be there for her.  It is not a questione of can you fight your own battles. You are the bravest person i know.  You should not have to. Juat because you can go it alone does not meen that you should. ” he said.

” this probably is not the time or the place for this discussion. ” she told him. ” your probably right. ” he said. They were silent for a few minutes. Then the pastor started the service. 

After the service, “look i will see you around.  ” she said. “Ok. Call me if you want to .” he told her. She left the sancuary. He wanted to walk her to her car but she did not apear to want that. 

He had a dificult after noon. He realy missed her. He wished he could talk to her. He just did not think that was possible.  

That night he hoped to see her. She never came in . he saw ashly and diane. “Jack. Kristen has decided to stay home tonight. ” diane said. ” oh ok. ” he said.

He tried not to be distracted. He tried to focus. He found it hard to do so. He was able to pay attention mostly. 

 Monday night his phone went off. He saw that it was from Kristen.  ” hey krissy !” he said. “Hi jack. I do this thing where i just drive around in order to clear my head. You want to come along with me?” she asked.

“Ok sure. ” he said. “I will be over in a couple minutes?” she said. “Sure. ” he answered. He went to the porch. Her green jeep pulled in. He went inside.

He hugged her. She held on to him.”look im realy sorry. I just shut down.  ” she said. “I know. I figured that. I love her krissy. I am hear for you. I promise you that. ” he told her.

“I know that. Thank you. ” she said. She drove off. “So you go for drives often?” he asked. She smiled and said,”yes i do. I love driving.  This helps me clear my head. I could not wait to get my lisence. When i was hospitilized my lisence was yanked. I had to go though a milion hoops to get it back. ” she said.

“I did not really want to get my lisence.  I was the oldest of ‘forty kids ‘so my parents incisted i get my lisence. I did. ” he said. 

“My mom hates when i do this. I love driving. I feel free when i do this. I can forget everything. I can live hear. ” she said.

“She lets you do this?” he asked. “I am an adult. She does not like it. Sometimes she keeps caling me. I would not answer but i fear she might send out the search party. I told her where i go. I told her you were coming. ” she said. 

“Oh i see. I am your chaperone? ” he said.  “A little bit. I do want you hear. ” she said. “I know. ” he said. 

They drove to a field. She stoped. They got out. They looked around. “I love this spot. I like to just stand hear.i find i do my best thinking hear.”she said. 

“What’s on your mind kris?” he asked.”i should have moved on by now. Everytime i do, the menories flood back. I dont know how to deal with it. ” she said. 

“Let me in krissy. I want to be your very best friend.  I want to be your partner . i care about you more then i can describe.  ” he said. “I know that. I do trust you. ” she assured him.

After talking for a bit they went to the car. They drove around for a bit. She pulled back into his driveway.  “So have you gone on these drives sence we got together?”she asked. “Yes i have .” she said. ” i figured. Thank you for inviting me along. ” he said.”thank you for comming. ” she said. They hugged. They said goodnight.
  End of part 12

Next up kris relationship with her old churches thretends her relationship with jack. 

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