Panic attack part eight

Previously on panic attack 

Jack the son of a pastor and an unpaid assistent pastor meets a new family. One of the members is a young lady lady named kristin. He is intetested in her but recoils when he reaches out to her.

Her family tries to get him to stay away from her. He hornors there and her wishes.  She reaches out to him. Her mom let him court her with certain stipulations. 

Part eight.

 Jack got a call Wednesday morning.he answered it. He saw that it was krustin. “Krissy! Hey! ” he said. “Hey i was wondering if i could drop by the parsonage a few munutes before church and we can walk together.  No real reason.  I just wanted to catch up. ” she said. 

“Yea. Of course.  Can you hang out for a little bit after the service?” he said. ” yea. I would love to.” she said.”sounds good. This is our first service as a couple. “He said. ” it is. Can we sit together during the service. ” she asked. “Of course. ” he said. “Sounds good!  I will see you tonight.  ” she said. “Sounds good.” he said.  

After dinner, he got dressed for the mid week service.  His siblings teased him for taking longer to get ready then he usualy did. Then he heared her jeep pull up.

He went out to the porch. He went to see her. She was waring a white sweater and a pink skirt and sandles. “Hey there kris!” he said smiling. ” hi jack.” she said.

“You look nice tonight!   He told her.” thanks you look nice yourself. ” she said. “My siblings said i spent too much time in the bathrom getting ready. I dont think i did. ” he said. “My sister said the same thing about me. This is our first service as a couple. It is an historic event. ” kristin said. 

“I had the same thought.” he said. ” we wont tell our siblings that. ” she said. “No i have had my fill of sibling teasing.”he said. “I know what you meen. ” she said. 

They talked for a bit then started for the church. “So is your patents house the parsonage? ” she asked. “No . it was a house. The church was a business that we turned into a church. My parents bought the house several yeats after the church was started.  We lived in an apartment.  We were on the 45th floor. Not really but to a pre teen it felt that way. “He told her. She laughed.

“This is a beutiful property. ” she said. “Mom made sure of that.  She loves gardening.  ” she said.” my mom does too. I want to have a garden when i get maried. That was just for conversation purposes.  That was not.a hint hint” she said. He laughed. “Ok.” he said.

They heared the church. They saw two older ladies in the church. “Hello mrs. Brener mrs grener. ” jack said.  “Hi jack. Kristin!”mrs grener said. 

Jack felt a little awkward. There relationship was hardly a secret. He did not like to bring attention to himself.  They walked inside. 

They talked to verious people in the church. Thry sat down in the sanctuary. “I dont think i have seen you two sit together before?  ” mrs anesly said.

“I dont think we have.  ” jack said. “Is there significance to this?” mrs anesly asked. They looked at each other and smiled. “Thats what i thought . No presure but the church is for a wedding.  I an happy for you too.” she said. After a while she left.

They both laughed. “There was abit awkward.” jack said.”it will only get worse. “She said.”i know. Thats ok. Small church. News travel fast. ” he said. “I guess so. This church is due for a wedding. “She said.” kristin rayburn has a nice ring to it. “He said in a cacious tone. He hoped it was ok to say that this early in there relationship.  She smiled and said “yes it definently does.”she said. 

He felt a huge few. She smiled.  He loved to see smile. She tols him she was bubbly and outgoing before the car accident. That took her farther’s life. She was sad alot or was juat serious. She stil had a play full silly side. He loved to see her happy. 

He looked froward to being maried to her. He probably should think about that too much this early in the relationship.  It was hard not to. He could imagine her as a wife. 

She liked the idea of being maried to him. She tried not to blush but she did. He had an ability to disarm her. He could make her forgot about all that gone on. 

Wendsday night service in a independent fundamental Baptist church was basicaly a sunday night service plus a time of prayer.  They sung a few hyms,the pastor preached but it was more devotional. Then the men and women split up and prayed separately. 

After the prayer time,jack was reunited with kristin. Kristin smiled at him. The pastor concluded the service.  They mingled a bit. Everyone was curious about them.after a time they handed back to his house. 

They walked to the porch and sat down. “So a lot of fundamental baptist churches are a little leary about psychology, depression. Anxiety and chenical inbalience at the such. ” she said. 

“Yes they are. There is concern that psychology puts a primium on man’s wisdom as well as gues work. They dont consider sin and sin nature. Christian counselor work off seculer psychology as a starting point or they plug in a couple christian words hear and there. It is a concern. ” he said. 

“What about depression? “She asked. “The concern of dipresson is that it becomes man centered. You cant deny that dipreson exist.  Anxiety exist. ” he said. 

“Some churches we have attended in the past did not understand my situation. I see a christian counselor that has a psychology digree from a christian and secular university. We have had to leave churches over this. Some have seen us as worldly compromising, you name it. I have talked to pastors and they have helped. This is big.  Pastors although well meaning tend to give trite cliques. ” she said. 

“Your situation is unique.  You were though a major trauma.  You lost your dad. You suffered bumps and bruses. You were in a coma and had brain loss and had to relearn alot. You had thr triple whammy and then some. This is big. There is no denying that. ” he said. 

“I understand the concerns about psychology and wordly wisdom. My counselor helps. ” she said. “I believe the bible has the answer to all of lifes problem. The bible is the word of God. It is the final authority.  I dont know your counselor.  I dont want to speak to something i dont know.  I dont like acepting wordly premises. ” he told her. 

“Would your farther make me chose between my counselor and the church? Its happened before in other churches. ” she said. “Not unless there was a reason to. My faether practices church disipline but only if nesisary. If your counselor recomended something that is clearly contary to the word of God then there would be an issue.  Baring that there would probably not be an issue.  ” he said. 

“If we got maried would it be ok for me to continuing seing a counselor?”she asked. “I think so. We would have to discuss it. I do thibk so. I would have concerns i dont want to say no. “He said. 

“It troubles you?” she asked. “It does. The reason is because as Christians we are strangers and aliens. We are not of this world.we are citizens of heaven. We are ambassadors.  We are like diplomatic staf in another country.  American diplomats in lets say Britain are amerucans but they are not living in the us. They represent the American government.  We represent christ hear on earth. God works though the church.  God ordanes leaders in the church. Under shepherds.  Pastors have the responsibility of waching over the souls of those in there floak. They have to give acount to God for the conduct of those in there care. This is from Hebrew’s 13. Christians need to be under God given authority whitch is the local church.a counselor even a christian one is not under the authority of the local church. That is concerning. ” he said. 

He was realy concerned that he just blew it. He had no chance of a longer term relationship with her.he realy liked her. His love for her was growing. 

“You might not be ok with me seing a Christian counselor after we are maried? “She asked. “I dont know. I dont want to say a difinitive yes or no. I have concerns. We would have to see. ” he said.

Jack believed in honesty.  It was hard. He did not want to offend her.he did not want to torpedo the relationship before it ever really began. 

“Ok. I am glad that i know your view on this. “She said. “What are your thoughts on what i said?” he asked.”well i have found the counselor to be extremely helpful.  I would hate to discontinue it. I would be wiling to sit down with you and figure this out. “She answered. 

“Its not a deal breaker then?” he asked.she smiled.  “No its not a deal breaker!  “She said. “Good. I was woried.i dont want to deceve you. I fear that you might not be keen on some of my views. ” he said. “I do appreciate your honesty.  We can work though this “she said . “yes we definently can. ” he said. 

“knowing what i told you,you still want to court me?”she asked.he smiled. “Yes i do. ” he said. “Good! I am glad to hear that. ” he said. 

“Look i am on meducation for anxiety and dipresson.  “She told him. “Oh i see. I did not realize that. “He said. “I imagine that is troubling.” she said.  “A bit but not that troubling. “He said. “That is another sticking point with the churches we have attend. “She said. 

“I imagine that you cant just go off them at the drop of a hat?” he said. “No i cant. “She said. ” i had no idea. “He said. “Many in the churches object to anti dipresents and anti anxiety meds in general but also specifically.  They say i need time,hugs ,enotion suport. My medical advisors do not agree. They feel i do. Your right i can just go off them cold  turkey.  Does this change things for us?  Is this a deal breaker? “She asked. 

He took her hand and loomed her in the eye. “No its not a deal breaker. It is an issue. Its a chalenge but not a deal breaker.  ” he said. She rested her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her.

“I am glad to hear that. ” she said.”i am glad you told me this. I appreciate you trusting me with this.  You can trust me. I know i have to eaen your trust.  I gues i am strict and perhaps rigid but i am not judgemental or harsh. I dont want to be.i am very easy going. ” he said.

“I can see that. I know that to be true. ” she said. They talked for a while.  Then she decided to head home. He walked her to her vehicle. ” have a really good night!”he told her. “You too. ” she said. 

She hugged him.he held on to her.neither one wanted to let go.both had a few tears on there face. They dispersed. As she pulled out,she waved. He smiledand waved back. He then went back inside.  

She expected him to blab about her medication to everyone in the church.he did not. He did not even tell his dad. He kept it to himself.  She was surprised. She asked him.

“Why haven’t you told anyone about my medication? ” she asked. “Its not there bussiness. ” he answered. “You did not even tell your dad?” she asked. “We need to figure this out together. I hope you and i are forning a new family. I figure you and i can work this out together.  Perhaps i will tell him later. Not without your conscent. I promise you that. “He said. “Ok thank you. “She said. 

End of part 8.

Next up

Kristin is invited to dinner at jack’s family’s house. 


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