Hospital tears 

Keri brandt had seemed to have it all. She had just completed her freshman year at colege. She was looking froward to summer. She was going to be working ata sumer camp most of the sumer. 

She had some time off before then.her parents and siblings and her were going to go on vacation first.  They were going to rent a cabin in another sate. She was looking froward to spending time with her family. She was not exactly home sick but was happy to see them. 

She knew that going off on her own was part of life.  It was part of growing up. She wanted to enter adult hood but she knew her relationship would her family was enrering a new phase. During this vavation she could reconect. Time could slow down at least for a short time. 

It was a couple weeks after she came home from colege that the family left for vacation.  No one knew that life would never be the same. 

While on the intersate a driver in a semi had a heart attack. He tried to pull over. The semi could not stop on a dime. Keri’s dad was driving the mini van. He tried to clear the van away from the semi. The van was hit. 

The van slid and hit a tree. The kids screamed. How could they not. Keri was knocked unconscious.

She woke up . she felt grogy. She had no idea where she was. For a split seccond she did not know who she was. She then Remember the crash. She saw the iv tubes. She wore a hospital gowan.she got agitated. Alarms went off.

“Kere your ok. Its me its your sister Melissa.  ” she said.A nurse came in. “Your ok keri. ” melisa said. Melissa hugged her sister. 

Melissa was four years older then keri. Melisa was maried and had a child. She was called and raced hear. Melissa calmed her down. 

“I remember a car crash.”keri said.”you have a gash on your head.we gave you a few sitches. You have some sitches on your knee. Your going to be fine. You will be sore for a while.  Like i said you will be fine. ” the nurse said. 

“How is everyone else?” keri asked.”tracy got some scrapes and bruses. She is ok.  Kevin has a broken arm but other wise he is fine. Victoria and Katherine have some scrapes and darin has a broken leg. ” the nurse said. 

“What about mom and dad?” keri asked. Neither the nurse nor Melissa wanted to tell her. Melisa and the nurse talked non verbally.  Finaly melisa felt like she had clearence to tell her the truth.  Keri knew something was up.  

“Kere mom and dad did not make it. They were killed almost instently. Im so sory. ” Melissa said. Keri tried to fight back the tears. It was a losing battle. She eventually gave up. Keri and melisa huged. 

“I am realy sory. If there is anything you. Need. Please tell me. We have a very good pastoral staf. I can get them if they you need them. ” the nurse said.  

Keri was kept for observation but was allowed to leave the next day. She changed from the hospital gowan to a black shirt ,gray skirt and flip flops. She was whealed to the front.  She met up with her siblings. 

They drove home. It took a few hours to get home. Melissa and keri took turns driving. ” look i will do whatever i can to help out. Don and the babby will come up once we work out the details for the funeral. We will have to be work out mom and dads esate. We will have to figure things out with the kids. ” Melissa said.

They went home. They all were tired.the youngest kids went to bed.darrin was 14 years old. Kathrine was eught,victoria six kevin was four and Tracy was two. 

After a while the door rang. She answered it. It was tim. Tim was a friend of keri at colege. “What are you doing hear?’keri asked. “I wanted to check up on you. I am so sorry.  ” tim said 

She gave him a hug. He held on to her. They were not boyfriend and girlfriend. They had never been. They were friends. He wanted it to be more. He never felt free to do that. 

He let cry for a bit. She leened into her soulder. They said almost nothing for twenty minutes or so.”i am so glad that you are hear. “She said. “Your not alone keri.”tim said. “Thanks”  he said. 

After the funeral, big decisions had to be made.  The house was willed to Melissa.  Melissa and don rented an apartment.  Don worked at a compony as a mid level manager. Don could transfer to the branch in the city where the house was.

It was decided that Melissa and the baby would go to the new house. Don would see them over the weekend until the transfer went though. 

Melisa and keri would raise the little kids . keri would transfer to a cominity colege near the house. She and tim kept in contact. Tim checked up on her as much as he could.  

Evenualy tim graduated from colege and moved closer to them.  They got together. They got maried and moved near the home.  They helped raise the kids. They had children of there own.

Tim helped her get though the greef she was going though.he did everything he could to help. It was not perfect but they made it work. 

The end.

Panic attack part five 

Jack could not figure kristin out. One minute she seamed to want nothing to do with him. The next,she seamed to be realy interested in talking to him. He did not get it. He found himself a bit weary with the whole thing. He was fine with her not being a part of his life.he had been interested in her. It was a fleeting moment. Perhaps that was all it was. 

It was a smal church. He was bound to run into her. It was just how it was.  It was hard to keep constently seing her. It was a reminder of what could have been but never was. He did not want that. 

 He kept himself buisy. He worked at a grocery store . he also was the unoficial assistent pastor. He went with his dad doing visitation. He went to nursing homes and hospitals. He preached, taught Sunday school and headed up the youth program. He wanted to eventualy go into the pastorate. 

He had completed his shift and headed home. He went back to his house. His cell phone off. “Helo this is jack rayburn.” he said. “Helo jack this is diane greener.  ” she said.

His heart sank. He developed a large lump in his stomich. He had no idea what was going on. “Hello mrs grener how are you?”he asked.”i am fine thank you. We would like to invite you to dinner. “She said. 

He was shocked by this.  He was not expecting this. “I would love to. “He said. “I would like to sit down and discus something with you first. “She said. “Ok. Sure”he said. “Can you be hear at 4:30?”she asked. “Of course. “He said. 

“Excellent! “She said. “I will see you then.”he said. “I look froward to it. “Mrs. Grener said.then the conversation ended. 

He was really nervous. He put on a blue polo shirt and brown pants. He made sure he looked perfect. 

“So do you know why she invited you to dinner?” mrs rayburn asked.”no i am not sure.  “He said. “Nervous?” the pastor asked. “Very much so. I will be ok i hope. ” he said. “It will be fine.” his dad said. 

He got into his car. He headed to the home of the greners. He tried not to be nervous. He tried to stay calm. He found he was a slightly afraid of mrs grener. He was not totaly sure why but he knew he was. 

He arived at her house. He parked the car. He took a deep breath then excited the vehicle. He walked up to the door. Mrs. Grener was there to greet him. 

She invited him inside. They walked to a siting room. She invited him to sit. “My daughter kristin is intetested in being involved in a courtship with you. “Mrs. Grener said. 

He was a bit surprised.  At the same time he was not. He detected signals that she liked him. He also got signals that she did not. He found it all a bit confusing. “I see. “He said as he took a sip of cofee.

“Are you interested in such a relationship? “Diane asked. “Yes i am interested in a courtship with her. “He said. “I had suspected that you would be. There are some things i need to discus with you first. She wants to talk to you about this more extensively.  She would like to explain things to you in further detail. “She said. 

“I see.  ” he said. “A few years ago, my husband and kristin were in a car . a drunk driver rammed into them. My husband was killed almost instantly.  Kristin was badly injured. She was im a coma for a few months.  It was a duficult convolesence to say the least. The physical scars have for the most part have healed but the enotional scars have not.  She has been diagnosed with anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder . She is prone to panic attacks. “She said. 

He had no idea. No one knew what happened to mr. Grener. They did not think that she was divorced. She apeared to be very conservitive. They dressed modestly and acted in a behavior consistent with independent fundamental baptist. No one wanted to ask. 

It all made sense now. It seemed that one minute kristin was full speed ahead. Then she was just gone. The truth was that that was exactly what was going on. He had misjudged her. He felt really bad about that. 

“It has been difficult for her. She does like you. I will understand if you are not wiling to persue this knowing what i have told you. Are you still interested? “She asked. 

“Yes i am stil interested.”he answered.  “Good i had hoped you would be. There are a few stipulations i need to discuss. “Mrs.grener said. “Of course.” he said. 

“If you call her and she does not answer leave a voice mail then wait for her to call back. Dont keep calling. She might need time to herself. She will get back to you when she can. Just wait for her.can you do this?” she asked.  

“Yes i can. I will adhere to that. “He told her. “Good. I am glad to hear that. I am sory to rake you over the proverbial coals. I wory about Kristen.  I just want to see to her well being as much as it is in my power. ” she told her. 

“I definently understand that. “He told her mother.  “This wont be easy. I know i am asking you alot. I feel i have to. I must say i am very impressed with you. You are a hard worker with a good work ethic. You are a leader in the church. You have a good reputation. There is evidence that God had his hand on you. I believe that you could one day be my son in law. I am very suportive of this. “She told him. 

“I would love for that to be the case.”he told her. “As would i. Well dinner should be just about ready. Shal we?” she asked. “Of course. “He said. 

He folowed mrs. Grener into the dining room.  He was a bit nervous but tried to ignore it. He was excited at the same time. He had backed away from her as a defense but now he did not have to. Now he could get to know her. He was excited about that. 

The table was ready. He saw kristin.she smiled at him. He smiled back. He went over to her. “Hi there.  “He said. She smiled. They went to the table. She sat next to him. 

“Hi ! I am so glad that you came. “She told her. “I am glad i am hear as well. “He told her.they all sat down. 

End of part four 

Panic attack part four

Jack had wanted to talk to the new young lady at his church. Her family asked him not to. He hounored there request.  She seemed to want to talk to him. He did not understand it. 

He decided that nothing would come of this. He decided not to persue anything with her any further. He decided to focus on his ministry. He tried to ignore any thing else. 

He did not ignore her but he did not go out out if his way to see her. He did not go out of his way not to talk to her. He barely saw her. He had moved on. 

At church one sunday, the pastor made an announcement.  “Mrs grener invites everyone to an open house at her home on friday. Things will start at 6:00 with dinner and time of fellowship. ” the pastor said.

Jack did not intend to come to the open house. It was too akward. He was not sure that he would be welcome.  He decided that it would be best not to come. It was too complicated. He decided not to attend.  He did not realy have the desire to go. 

“I am not going to the grener’s open house. ” he told his parents.  “Why not?” his dad asked.”it would be a bit awkward. I would just prefer not to attend.it would be weird. I think it would be best for me not to go. ” he told his parents.

“You cant avoid kristin foever. The greners are becoming more and more part of the church. As an assistant pastor you need to have a good relationship with everyone in the church. That includes kristin.  She is a sister in christ. “His farther told him. “I know that.  I think i can still keep my distence. I would perfer to mantain a certain level of detachment.  ” he told him.

“You sure.  I think that most of the church will be there.  Your absence might be conspicuous.  “His mom said. “I realize that but i am really not comfortible going. I fell i need to not attend. ” he said 

“It is your decison but i realy think that you should go. It is up to you.”his dad told him.   

He was determined not to go. He really did not want to go. He knew it might look bad for him. He made the decision not to go. He would stick to that determination.  

His family got ready.”you sure you wont come?” his mom asked.  ” i am sure.” he told her. They said ok.then they left the house. He said his goodbye to his family.  

Kristin was nervous about the open house. She was also excited at the same time. She was looking froward to the event at the same time. The whole family enjoyed being hospitable.  The family had used to entertain missionary ,special speakers and those in the church. That was a while ago. 

Kristin had really gottin into it. She had gone all all out. She had fun doing it. Ashly saw that for a few short secconds,Kristin was the old her. 

People started to arive. Some brought food or deserts.  They helped out. Then Kristin saw the rayburns arive. She did not see jack.

She said hello to the pastor and his family. “Hello pastor and raybur s!”she said. They said hello. “I am glad you could make it.”she told them. “We have been looking forward to it. “Mrs. Rayburn said. 

“Is jack hear?” she asked. “He could not make it. ” the pastor said. “Oh i am sory to hear that. ” she said.”i will tell him you asked about him. “Mrs. Rayburn told her. “Thank you. Please do. “Kristin said. 

Kristin tried not to be sad. She really wanted him to come. It had never occured to her that he might not come. By the look of things he was the only no show. In her mind he was the guest of hornor.

She was hoping to have an event where they would just bump into eqchother. She wanted to ease into things with him. That was not going to happen.

She did not understand that there was a misunderstanding between them. The truth was that she wanted to go slow. She needed to ajust. 

He saw it differently.  He thought that she was kind of interested in him. He thought that her mom and sister were dead set against it. She went back and forth on the issue. He thought that she wavered on the issue.  He just wanted to move on.he no longer saw a relationship with her as a viable option. He wanted that door closed.that was why he did not come. 

Kristin was disappointed.  She made the best of it. She knew it could stil be a good time. It was an oportunity to become more part of the church. Before mr. Grener died,they were very active in the church they attended. They had not sence then.  

People were lauthing. There were good convrrsations.  People were enjoying themselves.  The greners were happy about that. 

Kristin got absorbed into the night that she forgot about jack. When everyone left and all the post party cleen up was over,she was sad. She tried not to be. 

Her plan was she would sit next to him. She would engage him in iddle chit chat. Then they would live hapily ever after.  Just like that.  That was not how it was. Not at all. Nothing ever goes quite as planed. In this case it certainly did not.  

“Kristin asked about you.” his mom told jack.  Jack was quite taken a back. “She did? ” he asked. “She seemed disappointed that you were not there.  “His mom told her.  He was surprised. “Oh ! I am a bit surprised.  I stil think it was for the best that i did not come. “He said. “It was a lot of fun. You really should have come. ” his dad said. 

He did not understand her. She seemed to be sending mixed signals. He did not have all the facts.  He drew his own conclusions . his conclusions were way off. There was no way he could know the truth. 

“Why did he not come? ” Kristin asked her mom. “He stil thinks he is suposed to avoid you. “Her mom said.  “I have talked to him sense that. “Kristin said. “Yes but you then ran away.” ashly said.  “Oh yea! ” kristin said in response. 

 “Are you ready to let him in? To really let him in? Are you ready to invite him to court you?”her mom asked. ” yes i think i am.” Kristin said. 

“Are you sure?”ashly asked.ashly became very protective of her sister after the car crash. “Yes i am sure ash. “Kristin said. “You will need to ecplain the situation to him. He may not want to pursue a relationship with her.anxiety, panic attacks and post traumatic stress are hard to deal with.it could be too much for him. He may not be interested.  You have to take that into account. ” she told her daughter.  ” i know that. I know that is a posibility. Given what happened today that is the most likly of events. ” her mom said.  

“If you want i woll personaly invite him to dinner. I wil sit down with him before dinner. You have to be perpaired that he may say no. This may not go the way you want it to. ” her mom said. 

“I know that.  I want to do this!” she told her. “Ok i will call him. “She said.  

End of part four. 

Next up. 

Jack agress to come over to the greners. He and Kristin finaly talk. 

End of sorrow part three

Andrew took out his key and unlocked the door.  He felt a sence of euphoria at first. he had not had this much fun in a long time.  He forgotten how to laugh. It just kind of came back to him. 

Then the euphoria did ware off. He felt sad. He felt Like he had beteayed leane. He felt worse then he had before.  He checked his phone. He looked over the picture of himself and abby. They were so happy.  

She was so mischivous so playful. She was silly . he started to chuckle. He remembered what she had said.he did remember how he happy he was.he started to be ok. 

Abby had set the picture of them on her phone.  She looked at it frequently.  She beleved that that night was the beginning for them. 

The next day he checked his Facebook . he saw a comment from his mom. “I had forgotten what your smiling look like. It is nice to see it. ” she said. He got a private mesege from his mom. “Andrew who is this abbygail?  ” she asked.

He smirked. “Hi mom. Abby is my next door neighbor. She is a friend of myine. She is really sweet.  She is a belever but she is a penticoastal. I try not to hold that against her. “He said. 

He got a mesege back from his mom. “Well she seams really nice. She seams to care about you. I want to meet her. ” she said. 

In the afternoon abby knocked on his door. He opened the door.  “Hi ab!”he said.  “You need to get ready. You look fine if you want to ware that! “She told him. He was taken aback.  

“Where are we going?  ” he asked. “Newsboys concert. ” she said ” i remember hearing about them. Tery watkins dial the truth ministry had a lot to say about them. They are christian rock.i dont asociate with ccm.”he told her. 

“I am not going alone. Your coming. You can bring a david cloud book exposing ccm. You can zone out. Your comming. ” she declared.  “I am not wining this one am i? “He asked. “Do you want to? “She asked.”no i dont. I will come.  “He said she smiled. 

“Seriously. You read dial the truth ministry?  Terry watkins is a nut!”she said. “He makes some good points. “He said. She chuckled.

He got ready.  They went into her car. ” you know people are going going to talk!”he said. “Yes they are.” she said.

 Andy was not sure about this.  He felt very out if place. He figured that he was probably the only independent fundimental baptist at this concert. Most likly no one would recognize him. He imagined that abby was plastering there faces on Instagram and Facebook.  She seemed to love posting pictures on social media.  Everyone would know he was hear. 

The music was a bit loud. Abby seemed to know almost every song. She was very into it. She was not shy.she raised her hand.  She did not go out if her way to embarris andy. She described it as displaying abbyness. She definently did today.

He did not any of the songs.he did not get the apeal of ccm. It made no sense to him.he tried to keep an open mind. 

She look over at him. She would kinda check up on him.she ask him if he was ok. He said he was. 

The song God is not dead started a debate.  “Would not a revival bring people back to hyim singing not Christian rock?”he asked. “Why? Christian rock is sinply one way of expressing whats on there heart. Our generation is making our faith our own. Is what we doing any different from the rise of new songs that folowed the revival of john Wesley?  ” she asked. 

“Ccm to me is wordly. It is Christianizing wordly music!”he remarked. “Some acussed wesly of doing that. The organ was very controversial when it first entered the church.  ” she said. “I knew you were going to go there!” he said.

“There is nothing sacred about the okd hyims. Some are really good but they are not the only acceptable music!”she said. “Speaking yo yourselves in psalms hyims and spriutel songs” he said. “We dont know what the hyins paul refered to sounded like.i cant believe you went there.  “She said.he laughed.

He got more use to the music. It was not so bad. He enjoyed being with her.  He forgot what human interaction was like. 

After the concert they started to leave. “So are you sick of me or do you want to grab cofee?”she asked. “Yea absolutely.  That would be fun. ” he said. 

As they walked to the car,she realized that they were holding hands. She had no idea who started it. She was not sure if she should take her hand away from him  or not. She decided not to. It did make her a bit nervous.  

There hands parted when they got into the car.  “So you went to your first Christian rock concert and you did not get struck by lightning. “She said.  “Im stil trying to figure out how to explain it to pastor rolins and his wife. ” he said.

” you could say you were kidnaped by a psycotic penticoastal. ” she said.  “That is very believable. “He said. “Hey! You were were not suposed to agree.  “She said. 

At the cofee shop. “So are you trying to convert me to penticoastalsm?’he asked. “No although you as a penticoastal would be very intetesting. I imagibe you would still be you just with speaking in tounges. ” she said.

“Are you always going to drag me to penticoastal and evangelical events?”he asked. ” yes. We can do things you want to do. You have to plan it. I will go to your churches events or i.f.b friendly events but you have to plan it. I have to start to get ussed to Baptist any ways. “She said. 

“Because your eventually going to become a Baptist? ” he remarked. “Yes exactly.  “She answered.

“So what do is your end goal with draging me out of the house usualy kicking and screaming?” he asked. “I am not sure you want me to answer that. ” she said.  “Why?”he asked. 

“You might not like the answer.”she said. “Ok.”he said. “My end goal i guess is you and i married with kids. You pastoting a church and me being at your side. “She said. 

“Oh. ” he said. “I told you you might not like the answer. ” she said.  “I have to be honest with you. I dont plan to get married.  I figure i will be single all my life. ” he said.  

“You did not promise the lord that you would be single? “She asked. “No nothing like that. I just dont have the desire to be married any more. It is not really in me. “He said. 

“I am going to mary you andy. You have to know i am persistent.  My persistence usualy wins out in the end. ” she said. “I have notice that. Your a nice girl but i am just not interested in being maried at this point. I dont see me changing my mind on that. “He told her. 

“Well you do really know how to put a damper on a really good day.”she said. “i figured. i want to be honest.”he said. 

“you say that today. you may change your mind. rather its me or someone else you should be oppen.” she said.

she regteted saying me or someone else. she let her hurt talk. she wished she had not said that last line.  

“I just dont see that right now. “He said. “Ok. “She said. “I suspected that you were interested in me romantically. I would like to be friends but i cant be anything more.”he said. She thought to herself. “Cant or wont?” she would not say it out loud. 

The ride home was a bit tense. “Your upset with me?”he asked. “A little. You cant feel what you dont feel. It is wrong for me to ask you too. Your still young.  We made sense. I respect you and i respect your feelings. “She said. “Ok. ” he said. 

The car pulled in. “I am sorry. “He said.”i know. “She said. They parted ways. 

He checked his facebook. The pictures form the concert got a lot lot of coments. Poeple teased him for his skour. There was one picture where he had his arm around her. He did not remember doing that. He could not persue a relationship right now.  A part of him wished he could. 

End of part three 

Sorrow upon sorrow addendum 

Terasha was a klingon.she was a scientist in a world of woriers.she could have become a warier but she did not. She chose to persue her dreams.it seamed disastrous.  

Then the mass crises came. The klingon empire needed sciencentists now.  She became an instant star. Now she was working as an civialian advisor to star fleet. Working on behath of all three governments of the alliance.  She played a vital role now.

She was a scientist and now a sateswomen. She was an imformal advisor to the klingon chancelor. She also had the ear of enterprise captain and key oficial in the federation.  

Not only that but she is also a husband and morther. She was maried to human star fleet commander aaron jeshup. They had a daughter. She kept buisy with all of her various hats.

 While feeding her child ,she was looking over sansor data. She tried to take notes and focus on her child. Her child fell alsleep while feeding.she put her back in her crib.she kissed her forehead. She qietly left the room. She went back to the terminal. 

“Bridge to dr. Jeshup! ” kolona said. Terasha went over to the com pannel. “This is doctor jessup. ” terasha said. “We just got new orders.we are heading to qonos. The captain wants me to send you an update on our misson. He wants you to attend the brefing conference.  “Kolona said. ” understood.  I will look it over. I will become an expert before the brefing. “She assured the com officer. The transmission ended. .

She got up.  She put her hair into a pony tail. She ordered a hot chocolate from the replicator. She took a sip of the beverage. She studied the data on the screen. She read it.

She saw that the current wife of the chancellor had given birth to twins.one boy and a girl. The boy died not long after he was born. 

Klingon do not have tear ducts.they did nor shed tears. Many have come to beleve that klingon are unfelling and heartless. The warrior cast liked there enemies and there alies to think that. 

Klingon do get sad. Klingons do react to loss. They do mourn. Terasha despite her cold exterior was soft on the interior. 

She was sad to hear of his death.she felt bad for the chancellor. She also was very sad for sanjeya. She could not imagine what she was going though. Terasha feared losing a child.  Terasha hoped that her daughter would be healthy.so far she was thriving and doing well.she always woried for her child. She believed that she would for the rest of her life. 

She was ready to go to the brefing. After the brefing she spent some time with the science lab. She had not seen her husbend aaron sence the enterprise headed for qonos.

He saw her.he was playing with there daughter.  She huged him. He held on to her. He often said he spoke fluently in terasha. She refused to show her true self to many.  She would to aaron. 

He patted her head and her back.he was so gentle. She was not afraid to reveal her true self to him. 

“I cant not think about his child without thinking about keri. Keri is only a little bit older then his child.it hits too close to home Aaron.  ” she said. “It does with me as well tery. ” he told her. 

“Just hold me for a while ok?”she pleaded. He so do. They sat down on the couch. The baby smiled at her parents.  

“Terasha’s log i cant believe that mukuret is even considering sacrificing hiw surviving child. Muluret has had qiute an historic but controversial tenure in the top post. He was a military officer. He was an outsider.  He got to the top post by acident really. He won a duel against his predecessor and took the post. He has been very popular,very uunpopular and everyrhing in between.how can he kill his child?”she asked.

“There is a view that klingon faethers dont love there daughrers.i know that my farther loved me. I never doubted that. I know my grandfather loved me. I never doubted that. This proves that steriotype. I reallt hope he changes his mind. ” 

Later.

“Terasha!”sanjeya said. “I heard your husband has changed his mind?”she asked. “Yes he has. I would not have let him harm her. Id dont know how but i would have. I may not have been a warrior but that would not have mattered.  “Sanjeya said. ” i have no doubt of that !”she said. 

” i miss my son. I wished more then anything that he was hear with me.i love my daughter as well. “She said. “She is special i can tell. ” terasha told her. “I think so too” she said.

Enterprise 

He hugged her. She held on to him.she felt the enterprise going to warp. This was a hard misson. One of the hardest mayby even more then the mas crises. She was thankful for what she had. She held close to her family..

End. 

 

Sorrow upon sorows the conclusion. 

“Captain’s log,the chancellor of the klingon empire has rescinded an earlier declaration sating that the daughter shoud die as her brother. The enterprise who considered not attending the momorial adress has decided to attend after all. I am hopefull that our attendence will continue to shore up our alliance with them. ” 

Qonos 

First citty of qamche 

Imperial hall

The hall was filled to compacity. There were diplomats from a hundred or so different world thoughout the greater reigion. There were members of klingon government, the military,diplomatic core and common people.  The senior staff of the enterprise were there as well. 

After a few minutes the chancelor went to the podium. “People of the empire, honored guests. This is a grave day for the empire. This is a hard day for myself as well. I hoped for a different outcome. “He said.

“No one control ones destiny. Not totally.  I honor my son. He would havr brought me honor. He has. Today i chose not to fret over what canot be. I chose to create a world he would have been proud of. I chose to live on. He will live on in my memory. In the memory of his mother . he will live on in his sister.i know she will make him proud. I know this empire will make him proud.  We are klingons. We will endure. Because we must.”

“These have been perilous times for the enpire. We have survived. We have moved on. We will continue to do so. We have no choice. I know we can. I beleved those that has gone before us are cheering us on. We are there best hope. Those who come after us are looking to us as well. They look to us to pave the way for them. For there future. A future i believe we can create. One we will.”

“I do it with a broken heart. I am the leader of thr klingon empire.  I should be detached. I am not. No stoism today. Unconquered but not unschaved.  Not destoyed but not quite whole. “He said. 

As he spoke the door opened. She went over to ben. It was kalera. He put her arm around her. “You ok?”he asked. “Im getting there.”she said.”i love you.”ben said. “I love you.”she said. 

Epilougue

Nine mouths later.

U.s.s enteprise

Sickbay 

After several houers of labor. There daughter was born. Julie rebecca jihan norris. She was perfectly healthy. Dr. Piper gave the child to kalera. “Hi there. Welcome to the galaxsy julie. “She said. Ben kissed her forehead. 

After. A while ben held her. “Congradulations captain.”mark said.”thanks mark.” noris said. The doctor and nurse chepel left the new family to bond. 

The end. 

Panic attack part three

The greners had been coming to church for two mouths now. In that time jack said little to her. He wanted to . he hoped that his feelings for her would recede. They had not.  

He continued to write her notes. Some times he started writing them but never finished them. Some had just a few lines. Others had a couple of pages. Sometimes he had no idea why he wrote them. 

He prayed for her as well. He could not quite pray as intelligently as he would like to. He did the best that he could.  He knew that the holy sprit would take his feeble prayers and intercede to the  farther with gronings witch cannot be uttured.

He got butterflies in his stomich every time he saw her.he never understood why. Sometimes it drove him crazy.  

One sunday there was a church dinner. He was puting ketchup on potatoe. “Would you like some potatoes to go with that ketchup ?”kristin asked. “I like ketchup.  It is technicaly a vegetables!”he remarked. 

Kristen laughed. ” i gues. Technically. ” she said.he laughed. Then he realized that he was violating what he pledged to do. He tried to get away. He sat down.

He put his head down.he hoped that mrs grener or ashly had seen them talking.  He went to an empty seat far away from the greners. He sat down at the table. 

He started to eat. He did not notice that someone had sat across from him. “I take it you like ketchup?”Kristen asked. “I did not see you there. ” he said.

He was realy nervous. He was afraid he was doing something wrong.he felt like he was violating mrs grener’s wishes.  He was afraid he would not just be violating the wishes of a parrent . Worse he could impune the integrety of his father, the church,the bible college he graduated from and mayby even independent fundamental Baptist.  He did not want that. 

What he did not know is that ashly warned him at her request. It was not that mrs grener did not want him to speek to her. What really happened was that kristin got nervous. She just wanted to be left alone that day. It was not ment to be a life time quarantine. Ashly may have been a little harsher then mayby she needed to be. 

Kristin was shy. She was reserve. SHe had not always been an introvert but she is now.  She needed time to catch her breath. He saw it as almost a dear jack letter.  She was surprised that he had all but avoided her. 

“I do like kethup. Do you not like ketchup?”he asked her. “Oh i do. ON my french fries,burgers, hot dogs but on potatoes,eags and pancakes so much.”she said. “Pancakes! I had not thought about that one. I think i might try that one. ” he said 

“Oh no i have started something!”she said.  He laughed. “Despite my esentric use of condiments i am not that unusual.”he said. “I am not convinced. “She said. They laughed.

“Well Chrissy i gues i have some work to do convincing you. Excuse me Kristen.  ” he said. “I think we can get passed your eccentricities. A little odd is fine.”she said. “Thanks i think.  ” he said.  They laughed. 

After a while he went to get secconds. His fears had abated a bit.he went back to his chair. She was gone. It was like a farry tail without the happy ending.he looked aground the room. He saw Ashley and mrs grener. No Kristen. He found he was not really hungery any more. He tried to eat. He did not want to waste food. He eat it.

That was the first time he had ever talked to her. They mostly engaged in smal talk. He felt like he started to get a glimse into her personality.then she was gone . 

He wrote in her his journal,”chrissy i had a great time with you with you today. Your so funny and playfull. I love your humor. I was sad when i came back and you were gone. I suspect you have your reasons and i respect that. I miss you already.  I see what our mariege could be like. I dont feel like i can approach you. I will wait. I will try to be patcient. Its hard because i feel such a conection. I cant explane it. I love you chrissy.  I will wait. ” 

She wrote in her journal.  “Dearest jack,  i have tried to work up the courege to talk to you for weeks now. I could not do it. I Finaly was able to talk to you but my anxiety kicked in and i had to leave. I hope you can understand.it was good to finaly talk to. I am a little alarmed by your obsession with kethchup but thats ok. I liked being able to get to know you. I have been impressed with you.  I hope i can find a way to communicate that to you without frezing up. Until then i love you. What was it you called me chrisy. ” she said.  

End of part three. 

Next up 

Mrs grener invites people form the church to an open house at her place.everyone shows up except for jack. 

Sorrow upon sorrow part six. 

They went to the beefing room.kalera was visibly shaking. He hugged her. He held on to her. “Lori whats going on?” ben asked. 

“Ben I’m pregnient “she said.  “That’s a good thing right?”he asked. ” yes it is. We have talked about having children.  I do want children.  “She said.

“Then whats going on love?” he asked. She sat down. She broke down. He put his arm around her. “You know i was maried once upon a time. “She said. “Yes sub commander zerek. “He remarked.”yes. It was an arranged marriage.  As i have said he was killed in a battle with orion smugglers near the border. Before that i became pregnant.  I had a son.he died not long after he was born.”she said.

“Hunnie, i had no idea. ” ben said he held on to her. She cried on his shoulder. ” doctor piper says that he is going to treat this as a high risk pregnancy but he says that he says so far he is very optimistic.  He things every thing is good. We are having a daughter by the way. ” she said.

He smiled. ” look lori dr. Pipper is the besr. He is not the ships doctor he is pratically the ship’s grandfather.  He will do everything he can to make sure the baby is fine and healthy.” she said. 

“I know that. I have complete confidence in him. I am just afraid ben. I cant go though this again. If i lose this child i cant bear it. ” she said. 

“Lori we are not that yet. I cant assure you that everything will be fine. I don’t know what the future holds. None of us are totaly in control of our destiny. We are just not. There are always circumstances unseen forces.  We never have complete information. We cant know how things play out.lori this child is going to have two parents that love eachother and love her. She is going to be part of a larger comunity. She will be loved and cared for. “He said. 

“Ok. I know that. “Lori said.”i think that she is going to be fine. I am hooeful that she will be healthy and happy. Whatever happens we will deal with it together.  “He assured her. She rested her head on his shoulder. ” ok. ” she said.

“I love you. I love you so much ” she told her. She hugged him. They held eachorher. 

Bridge 

 “You seam happy?” dr. Piper said. “I am mark” he said. ” then i take you know now. ” dr. Piper remarked.”i do. ” the captain said. ” whats going on?”bienka asked. “I am going to be a dady. ” he said.the bridge crew congratulated him.everyone was happy for him. 

” alright i am going to meet with mukatet. Under no circumstances if any one to go to the surface.  “Ben ordered. “Aye sir. ” the female executive officr said. “Purit, carlos stand by to go to warp at a moments nottice !”ben ordered. The crew agreed. 

“Ok. Bienka you have the bridge! “He said. “Aye sir. ” she said.  “What if you cant convince the chancellor to spare the life of the child? ” gioto asked. “I have no idea barry. ” he said. 

The captain left the bridge.  He entered the turbo lift. The door closed behind him. 

Home of the chancellor

Camche

” captain norris you wanted to speak to me in private?” the chancellor asked. “I do chancellor.  Thank you for meeting with me!”he said.

“Of course. Captain. “Mukaret said.”chancellor i wish to speak to you off the record. “Ben told the klingon leader. “Of course benjaman it it?” the leader said.

“May i be canded?” he asked. ”  proceed.  “Mukaret said. “Sir i understand that the loss of your son is a huge blow to you. It is truely a tragedy.  I must say that i disagree with your decison to terminate the life of your surviving child. This is hardly a solution.  “He told the klingon in charge of the empire.  

“Captain.  Humans are known for there belief that all life is sacred. All life has value.  It is a view that manny klingons do not share. I have always believed that one has to prove there value.  There are not enough resources to justify a terusnagen philosophy. “He told the captain. 

“Mukaret do not this! You will regret it. Dont go down this path. You will never be able to reverse it. This will undo you sir. “Ben said. 

“I have daughters captain.  I do not need more. “Mukaret said. “What about sanjaya? Would you really be so cruel. Dont you care about anyone but yourself?  “Ben norris said.

“Carefull captain. You may be a defacto ambassador for the federation. We may be alies but i wont tolerate insult in my private chambers.” the chancellor said.

“She will never forgive you. In your mind you can remove her as your wife. What if your next wife fails to get you a son and the next? How far wil you go?” he asked.

“I dont want to look at that child!”he said. “Alow sanjaya to take the child to the federation.  ” ben said.”my enemies might use it agqinat me. They may say i am weak for not keeping to my original edict. Other might say i am against family vailures. It is a risk.”he said.

“Why not five her a chance. Who knows you too might become close?” ben asked. “I dont know if i have the strengh to do this. She will be a constent reminder of what i have lost. ” he said. 

“Mayby but you will be reminded no matter. It chould be worse. Come on chancellor.  Please please.”norris pleaded with him. He thought it over.

He got up and left his office. Be. Folowed him.sanjaya was cradiling her daughter in her arms. “Sanjay! Captain norris and i have discused it. I am resinding my decison. “He said.

“Thank you. ” she said. “I hope you can forgive me in time. Some day i may ask for it. I will not today. I do see the error of my earlier decison.” the chancellor said. ” i am happy with your new decison. You will not regret it. She will bring honor to you. “Sanjeya said. “The ceremony will be to honor our late son. Today we afirm life.” he said 

“Mukaret my heart aches . i know it does for you as well. “She told him.”it is like a dusruptor beam to the head. I am dead but move. “He said. “I feel the same. “She said.

“I have never lost a child. I have gad my share of greef. You keep going becsuse you have to. Those who left us would want us todo no less. “Ben said. 

To be concluded. 

Sorow upon sorrow part five 

“Captian’s log,what was to be a ceremonial diplomatic misson designed to pay our respects to the chancellor for his loss. It took a very different turn. ”

“The chancelor has decided to sacrifice his other child . this is a shock to the crew. Though i find the whole things reprehensible.  There may be nothing i can do. ” ben norria said.

Senjeya had no idea that this was happening. Makerret had not said much to her sence the incident. She was shocked. How could he do this. She loved that child. 

Despite all that had occured, she had bounded with the child. She could not believe he would even consider this. She knew that he really pitied her when she made her his wife. In his mind perhaps she betrayed him. She could not let him do this.

She tried not to betray her emotion. She did not want to incur any further wrath with him. She could not risk that. 

The whole croud seemed shocked. No one dared say anything. They did not want to be seen as disloyalty.  Disloyalty was punished quickly. Mukuret was an all or nothing kind of guy. They knew it. No one wantes to risk his wrath.  

U.s.s enterprise

Kyile beemed the crew back to the enterprise.  Evetyonr started to talk at once. Norris calmed them down.”ok people. I know this is very disturbing.  I am just as distrubed as all of you. “Norris said.

“This is indecent sir. We cant let this happen. “Navigator purit said.”look i dont want this to happen any more then you do jasson. We may not have a choice.the prime directive aplies hear. We need this allience. The galaxy needs to heal from themass crises. “Norris said.

“We cant just do nothing.  We cant sacrifice one life for untold trillons can we?”smith asked. “I dont know what i can do but i wont just do nothing. I am going to contact star fleet command. I prery much know what they are going to say but i will stil try. Terasha work your sources in the klingon government and military and orther circles. See if you can find out how serious the chancelor is. Sub commander work your romulan sources.  Kolona work your sources in the communications tech circles. My gues is he is serious. He will go though with this. “Norris said. 

“What do we do?”giotto said. “I dont know yet chief. Just leaving orbit and heading back to the federation seams too little. I dont know what can be done. I will look. “Norris said. 

Camche 

Sanjeya had no idea this was coming.she felt like she had been stabed in thr back with a batleth. She had been holding her daughter when the chancelor made his grizzy decleration. She could not believe that he said this. 

She loved her daughter. She was a first time mother. Her motherly instincts kicked in almost imedietly. Her daughter helped coupe with the loss of her son. She had no idea how to move on. Her klingon nature would not alow her to give up. 

She was starting to find a way to move on. Now her husband had pulled the legs from under her. All to benefit him. He only thought of himself. He was selfish.he was self obsorbed. Most klingon chancellor were but he outdid all of them. 

She was angery with him.she considered formerly challenging hin.she knew she would lose. She needed to stay alive for her. Her baby was alive. That was something.  

“Mukeret how dare you!” she said.”what do you meen?” he asked. ” you pitarkh. You disgust me!”she said.  “Watch yourself sanjeya! I am chancelor of the klingon empire.” he said 

“Your a dishonorable tobar. Your pride was wounded.  You decide if your miserable so is everyone else. You are supreme commander of the klingon fleet. You command one of the bigest standing army in the quadrant.  You are head of government of a major intergalatic power. You own land,houses,ships, what do i have?  Yet you want to take the one thing i do have?”she asked. .

“The universe hae insulted me. I will not be insulted. I dont want the reminder constently. This child will have too hard if a life. I am being compassionate.  “He said.

“I will never forgive you mukurat. I promise you that. “She told him. “I can live with that.  ” he said. ” i am sure you can .” she reaplied. 

U.s.s enterprise

Confrence room

“Ben i syimphithise with you. Our hands are tied. We were invited hear. This is there world.  “Admiral komack said.

“I know.  This seams so unnecessary.  “Noris said. “I agree. We can file a formal protest. I am almost certain it will fall on deaf ears.”the admiral said.

“I know your right. I know the importence of the tripple alliance.  I just cant phathom this.  I feel like the chancellor is being extremely wimsical. ” the captain said.

“I do too. He may regret this. The council is deliberating this. They may recall the ambassador but other then that i dont know what steps we can take. ” the admiral said. “That was what i thought. I figured that i would contract you. “Norris said. ” of course .happy to consult. I wish i could say something diffetent. “The admiral said. “Yea”he said.

Bridge

“Let me gues,admiral komack was no help?”giotto said. “You got it barry.” norris told him. “What now?”dr. Piper asked. “I dont know.” norris said.  

Qonos 

“Kazek!”terasha said. “Terasha it is good to see you. “Kazek said. “I know the scientific community is not the favorate of the empire.  “She said. “It is common.” kazek said. “True. You must hear things. What is the reaction to the chancelor move in regard to his child?”terasha asked. 

“Well many in the defence force see him as weak for not being able to protect his son. Some in the military are proned to suport it. Others are outwaged. The opionons run the gamut. “The scientist said. 

“Will he go though with this?” terasha asked. “Everything i have seen Leeds me to think that he will. “Kazek said. “That what i thought!”terasha said.

Bridge 

“My government does not like it. They are planing to look into isuing a satement if condemnation but they wont do anything that has teeth. “The sub commander said. “The high council does not seam wiling to do anything.  Many on the council dont aprove but they dont want to move against him or do anything that could be viewed as disloyal. “Terasha said.  

“Can we grant asylium?” Smith asked. “Sanjeya would have to ask for it.”spock said. “The minute she disappeared they would suspect us. They will not never let us leave. They may fire on us. ” giotto said.

“Would that not solve the problem. The child the reminder of his failure would be gone. Out of sight out of mind. “Smith said. “That is not enough for him. It is a matter of hournor. His hornor was insulted. This is his way of getting it back. ”  norris said. 

“If we socilit her asking for asylium, we could be seen as trying to stir up trouble on qonos. ” dr. Piper said “chief hallak i want you to work on ways of getting out of klingon space quickly. “Norris ordered. He sighed and said,”yes sir.” the orion reaplied. 

“Lets make sure the ship is ready if we need to make a fast getaway. “Norris ordered. ” you got it. ” guitetez said. “We will be ready for anything.  “The secuity chief said. 

“I want battle drills. Lets do shipbored battle simulations and ground simulations as well. ” the captain ordered. The bridge crew agreed. 

The captain hoped that he did not have to do this. He feared he might have to. This could spiral out of control. 

” how could a father wilingly sacrifice a child?” smith asked. “It hapened before even in earth history. “Spock said.”i dont get it. I dobt have kids but if i did. I would do whatever it took to protect them.i am preotective of my neces and nephews. I would do whatever it took to protect them. ” he said.

Kalera heard him say that. ” hi !” norris said.he kissed her. When it came to his wife he did not adhere to protocol.  ” can we talk?” she asked. “If course hunnie. Keep working on this. Bienka you have the bridge! “He said. “Aye sir,the exo said. 

End of part five. 

End of sorrow part two

Andrew dade lost his fiancée to a car crash. He had trouble moving on. He became very inward.he stayed at home alot.when not at work or church that was where he was. 

Then his new neighbor abigail came.she was a outgoing.a spitfire.she tried to befriend him. It proved to a bit of a daunting task. 

He parked his car. “Hi andy. “She said. “Hi abby. ” he said. “How did work go today?” she asked. “Fine. Buusy but good.  ” he said. “Hey you want to go bowling or something this weekend?” she asked.  

“I am not really up for that. “He said. “You sure. We could do some thing else.  ” she said. “Im sory im realy not interested. ” he said. 

She tried to engage him. She could tell he had shut down. He was not living he was just excisted. It waa driving her crazzy. He had to move on eventually.  Didn’t he? 

They engaged in occasional smal talk.for the most part they did not do much interacting. 

It was two years Sence leane died.he waw stil living in that moment.he was stuck there. He had reterned to even a new normal.  She hated to see him this way. She had caught an occasional glimpse of the old him .she was convinced that he would not be that person foever. 

She decided to wait a week.then she would act. That friday she knocked on his door. “Abby hi!”he said. “What are you doing?”she asked. “What do you meen? “Andrew asked.

“You needed time after leane died. You needed time to pause reflect. Its been two years. Break over. Its time to get back to work. “She said.

“I am active.  I teach Sunday school, i preach. “He said. “What happened to church planting pastoring. You given up on that?”she asked. 

“I dont know. Its not like im siting in the side lines. Im active. ” he said.”your setiling for good enough. Your not living up to your potential. We both know it. ” she said.

“Where is this. Comming from?”she awked. “I am tired of seing you like this. This is not you. Its time to brush yourself off and get back to work!”she told him.

“You think i am called to be a pastor?”he asked.  “You think your called to be a pastor.  “She said. ” i gues i do. “He said.”do something about it. Stop hiding. “She said “you think i am not living up to my potential “He asked.”you dont think your living up to your potential. “She said.”you could be right. ” he said.

“Come on we need to get going.do you want to ware that or get changed. You do look fine like that.”she said.

“Where are we going?”he asked.”i am taking you to diner. We are celebrating. “She said.”oh! What are we celebrating? “He asked. “National andrew gets out of a funk day. “She said. 

“I cant tonight.  Can we do it another night?”he asked. “Oh no. Your not getting out of this one. Besides if we do this another night it wont be on andrew gets out of a funk night. Then i will have to sue whoever came up with andrew gets out of a funk day. Christians are not suposed to sue.just come with me !”she told him.

“Woa! Wait a minute! What?”he asked. “Please andy. You cant keep being a recluse. It will be fun i promise. “She said.  “Alright. “He said. She smiled. 

“Your not going to speak in tounges or get slain in the sprit during dinner are you?”he asked. “Well you never know. I cant really control it. It just kinda happends. “She said. “Now i am woried. “He said.  “You should be!”she said. 

He went outside to the steps where she was. “Are we are taking your car?”he asked. “You dont want to ride in my car?”she asked. “Well you have a milion penticostal bumper sticker. People from my church are going to become concerned. ” he said. “It will be fine. You wont melt i promise. “She said. “Didn’t you say to that to the last i.f.b who got into your car? “He asked. “I don’t talk about that. “She said. He laughed.  

They got into the car. “Ok i have some rules. “She said. “Ok. “He said. “Sence this is national Andrew gets out a funk day you have to get out of the funk. No being sad. We are going to fun. Leave the sadness behind.  No long faces,nothing. “He said.

“I cant just turn it off. “He incisted.”yes you can. This day is holy unto the lord,neither be ye sory why?i know you know this verse. ” she said. 

“The joy of the lord is thy strength.”he said. “Yes. The joy of the lord. Finding contentment in the lord. Rejoicing in the God of thy salvation. So are we agreed on that?”she asked.  “Agrred. Is this Baptist joy or penticoastal joy?”he asked.  “Joy is joy!”she said. “You are one tough cookie!”he remarked.”you have no idea. ” she said. 

They drove to  the resturant. They were seated. “Where do you grow up?”she asked. “I was born in Pennsylvania. Near philly. When i was three, my dad moved hear. He started a church. “She said. “This area is home?”she asked. “Yes it is.”he said. 

“So where were you from?”he asked.”i was born in a smal town in ilonois. My dad was a penticoastal youth pastor. We moved to indiana when i was seven.dad became a pastor in a church outside Indianapolis. We moved to a church in blomington when i was 12. I went to a penticoastal colege in morisville. I moved hear to be involved in sprit of fire church. ” she told him. 

“I see.  I had a feeling that that was where you went. ” he said.  “For now.eventually i will become a Baptist.  “She said. He was confused by that comment.  “Oh. I did not know that you planed to become a Baptist.  “He said. She smiled. 

“So when did you decide to go into the ministry?”she asked. “Everyone assumed i would because of my dad.it was expexted. I wanted to as a kid. Then i did not.  When i was 14, a speaker came up to me. He told me that family background is no assurance that you will serve the lord.he said resolve today to be oppen to doing his will. A little while later my dad preached on obeying in the little things.  I startted getting serious.  I knew then that i was suposed to go into full time ministry. I have not thought about that in a long time. ” he told her. 

“Why church planting?” she asked.”i saw my dad do it.i like the idea of starting something new. From the ground up. I like the idea of going in a place where there are no Baptist church and starting one. I have had a passion for it. “He said.

“I can see that. “She said. “How did you decide to become so committed to Christianity? “He asked. “I lived in the church. My life centeted around the church. I did not rebel outwardly. I engaged in a qiet rebelion. It could have led to me making bad decisons. God brought people  in my life who saw things in me. A youth pastor and his wife invested in me. They determined that i was not going to slip away. I made the decison i am going to follow the lord no matter what. ” she said.  

“I see that in you. “Andrew said. “It has not always been easy. I have stumbled. I am so glad that i made that decision. It could have gone differently.it was by God’s grace that it did not.  “She said. 

“I am glad of that too. ” he said. She took out her phone. “What are you doing?”he asked. “I am taking a picture of us. I want to comerate this event. “She said. She snaped the picture. She put the phone away. 

“You want to comerate the end of my funk as you call it?”he asked. “Largely not just that. ” she said. “Oh ok.”he said. She wanted to say the day she committed to marying him. She knew he was not ready to hear that. 

“So where do you want to live ?”she asked.  “Anywhere.  I am oppen to whereever. I had identified three places where i would like to start a church. Other then that i am not sure. What about you?”he asked. 

“I will go where you go. I am totally open. I consider life to be one big adventure. I am totaly flexible. “She said. “Why am i not surprised? ” he said. 

He decided not to ask a follow up question to her comment. He let it go. 

“You have to have desert! “She said.”i am not sure i can fit any. “He said. “Come on. You have to have desert.  What is a celebration without disert?”she said “ok.” he said.

He tried to pay. She would not have it. They walked out together. They smiled. She drove her to the apartment.  

“Look andy when you get inside your going to be happy. Then the euphoria is going to ware off. You are going to feel sad. Your going to regret it. Just remember how hapy you were. ” she said.

“Look at your phone. ” he said.  He looked and saw the picture of them smiling. “Remember how you felt at that moment.  Remember how hapy you are. ” she said. “I will try to. Thank you for tonight. I did need this. ” he said.  “My plesure. It really was. We are going to do this again! “She said. ” ok. ” he said.

They got out of the car. They dispersed.  This was a new beginning.  At least that was abby hoped would hapen.